Still Standing: Wild West MC Series

by Ashley, Kristen

  My arms had circled his shoulders, my legs the same with his hips, and I lifted mine to deepen our connection.

  Buck’s thumb rolled again.

  “God,” I breathed, my neck arching again.

  “Tell me how much you love it, Clara.”

  I twisted my neck and pressed my lips to his. “I love it, Buck, it’s the world as I want it to be.”

  A groan reverberated up his throat, and his mouth left my ear and took mine as he started driving into me again, rolling with his thumb, too much, all of it exquisite. I couldn’t hold back, and I let go, my cries drowned by his mouth.

  His thumb went away, his hand spanning my hip, yanking up as he kept his lips against mine and continued taking me, hard, deep, God, God…

  “Buck,” I gasped, “I’m going to…again…”

  I came again, my mew disappearing in his mouth, the grunts of his orgasm drowning it out.

  He’d thrust through his climax and only stopped for moments before he moved again, slow, a gentle glide. He kissed me, thorough, wet, sweet, then he planted himself to the root, lifted his head and his hand in my hair slid down to the side of my face.

  His thumb swept my cheekbone as he murmured, “Fuck yeah, baby.”

  I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side.

  His hand left my face and I felt his lips at my ear, “You let go, gorgeous.”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Liked it before, fuckin’ loved it. But now, Toots, fuck. Hot.”

  I kept my eyes closed and my head turned away. He allowed this for long moments before I felt his teeth nip my ear.

  Then he whispered, “Clara, honey, I get you’re freaked. I get your strugglin’ to find your way.” His hips pressed into mine and I liked that so much, I had to swallow my moan. “What you gotta get, baby, is you gotta think a’ that when you got doubts. You gotta think about how much you love what we got and how hot it can be, how intense, how deep that connection is. ’Cause, babe, people don’t have this shit. This is just for you and me.”

  Oh no.

  I liked that.

  I liked it too much.

  I knew I felt that for me. I knew what we had like this, like now, was something special, something beautiful.

  I just didn’t know he felt the same.

  I closed my eyes tighter.

  I felt his nose sweep my jaw before his lips went back to my ear. “And something else you gotta get, darlin’, is that I’m here. I’m always here. I promised to have your back and I mean that every way you can mean that to be.”

  I didn’t understand this, not exactly.

  But Buck saying that set visions sliding along my closed eyelids, memories shifting through my brain.

  Buck holding Tatiana and kissing the top of her head.

  Gear talking about Buck surprising him with the car they worked on together.

  Buck telling me he liked to make me smile.

  Buck making me and his kids French toast, waffles, everyone getting a turn to decide what they wanted, and Buck giving it to us.

  Buck making me kiss him to end a fight.

  Falling asleep with my head on Buck’s thigh, his fingers in my hair.

  Buck handing me money for a day out with the girls, a dinner with Mrs. Jimenez.

  Buck looking for Tia and getting upset because he couldn’t find her.

  Buck giving me a home and making me feel welcome there, my place, my space, never making me feel temporary, a nuisance, a burden.

  Before I could stop myself, I turned to him, and his head lifted up when it did.

  “I never thanked you for my car,” I whispered.

  I felt his body relax on mine and I didn’t even realize it was tense.

  “Babe,” he muttered then touched his mouth to mine.

  Once he’d done that, he pulled out, rolled to his back and lifted his hips, yanking off his jeans. He threw them aside and then tugged the covers out from under us, pulled them over us and curled me into his side.

  Then he asked, “You drive it yet?”

  “Tatie and I cleaned the house. Then Locke made us corn dogs and tater tots. I wasn’t certain a joyride in the car that started…”

  I stopped talking as I realized where I was leading.

  Buck’s arm around my waist gave me a squeeze.

  “Toots, friend of a friend was in a jam, needed money fast, had to unload his Charger to get it. I’ve had that car down at the shop and been fuckin’ around with it for months. Was gonna fix it up and sell it but didn’t wanna. It’s a sweet ride. The minute I met you, I knew your ass had to be in that ride, so I finished it, and Ink and me brought it up while you were workin’ yesterday.”

  Oh dear.

  I liked that too.

  I liked that he went out of his way to surprise me.

  I lifted my head and looked down at his shadowed face. “The minute you met me, you knew I had to have that car?”

  His hand not around me came up and cupped my jaw then slid into my hair, pulling me closer to him.

  “All right, maybe not. The minute I fucked you against the wall and knew I was gonna be fuckin’ you for a while, I knew your ass had to be in that ride.”

  “That car is cool and I’m not cool,” I told him.

  “No, that car is sweet, and that car is hot and, babe, you’re both a’ those.”

  Oh no.

  I liked that too.

  I shook my head.

  He was something else and the something else he was being now felt nice.

  Then I dropped my head to press my face in his chest.

  After I did this, two things occurred to me.

  One, he was apparently settled in for the night without the need for a quick visit to the bathroom, and two, there was wetness between my legs, and it wasn’t all mine.

  My head shot up.

  “Did you use a condom?” I breathed.

  “Uh… no, babe, you coming against my mouth like that, wasn’t gonna wait to get my dick in there.”

  “Oh God,” I whispered.

  His hand still in my hair tensed.

  “Babe, it’s no big deal.”

  “Buck! I still haven’t started my period.”

  “You will.”

  “I won’t if we keep forgetting condoms!” I snapped, something we had not done since our early days.

  Oh God!

  He pulled my face close to his again.

  “Babe, learn now. Read me. When you start to freak out, calm down a second, take a breath, think about it and read me.”

  At first, I had no clue what he was saying.

  Then, I still had no clue and I was too busy freaking out to take a breath and “read him.”

  Finally, I took a breath, forced myself to calm down, and it struck me that he didn’t need to calm down.

  When he said he had my back and that he had my back in every way that could be, he had my back.

  He didn’t care if I got pregnant, because, he might not be trying to start a family with me, but if it happened, sixteen years down the road, he’d give our child a car and I could be on his deck or I could be on the phone with him, and it was up to me if I was a bitch.

  Oh…my…God, God, God.

  “You don’t care if I get pregnant,” I whispered.

  “Not so much,” he replied instantly. “Like I said, you’ll be a good mom. And just sayin’, got even more proof that’s the motherfuckin’ truth after last night, this morning, and tonight.”

  “Oh my God,” I breathed then my eyes narrowed in the dark. “You aren’t…trying, are you?”

  He rolled into me and both his arms went around me before he said, “Life is life, gorgeous, and you gotta let go and live more. I love the feel of you. You love our connection, and babe, I feel the same. I don’t like anything between you and me. A kid comes outta that, so be it. You need to get on the pill. We had so much goin’ on, we’ve let that slide and we need to get on it. Until then, I’m happy to take my chances if I get w
hat I get from you. And I get what I get from you, I get it a lot and it’s always fuckin’ good. Tonight, better than ever. So, no, I’m not tryin’, but I also don’t care. If that’s the price of havin’ you the way I want you, I’m happy to pay it.”

  Oh dear.

  There it was again.

  I liked that too.

  It wasn’t romantic.

  It wasn’t flowery.

  It all seemed to be about sex.

  But he loved the family he had. His kids meant a lot to him.

  And the fact he didn’t mind having more, as crazy as it seemed, said a lot about him.

  “You’re a very unusual man, West Hardy,” I blurted, because he was.

  No man just shrugged at the thought of creating a child and all that meant to his future in order to get great sex.

  Buck was silent then he shifted into me, shoving his face in my neck to muffle his bark of laughter.

  I tried twisting my neck and pressing my head in the pillow to get him to look at me, but I failed, so I called, “Buck.”

  He pulled his face out of my neck and brushed his mouth against mine.

  Then he whispered, “Yeah, gorgeous, I’m unusual,” and he whispered it, still chuckling.

  “Buck—”

  He rolled to his back, tucking me into his side, saying, “Wiped, Toots. I had less sleep than you last night and a seriously jacked-up day. Time to crash.”

  A seriously jacked-up day?

  Did he just mean Conley, Tatie, and dealing with me?

  Or did he mean something additional to all that?

  I wanted to ask. I really wanted to ask.

  I didn’t.

  Instead, I muttered, “All right.”

  He gave me a squeeze, and muttered back, “Thanks, baby.”

  He was settling, he was ready to sleep, he told me, and I felt it as I took a second to read him.

  Therefore, I slid an arm around his flat stomach. “’Night, Buck.”

  He didn’t reply, but he also did.

  His arm gave me another squeeze.

  And then he replied.

  But not to say goodnight.

  To say, “And babe, also worth a repeat, we’d make a gorgeous kid.”

  Words which had me wide-awake and again wondering if he was trying to get me knocked up.

  Buck slid right to sleep.

  It took me a while, but not long, and then the crazy of the day and night before washed out of me, and I was back to my regularly scheduled program of deep, restful sleep in Buck’s bed in his house.

  And in his arms.

  22

  The Biker Babe Initiation

  The next morning, as usual, I was up, in my robe and in the kitchen making coffee before anyone else was the same.

  Not as usual, as I was pouring my first cup, I sensed movement.

  I turned as I shoved the pot in the coffeemaker to see Tatiana, looking cute and sleepy and about five years younger, shuffling toward me.

  I braced when I realized she wasn’t going to stop, and I took the hit as her body collided with mine and her cheek landed on my shoulder.

  She also curved her arms around me.

  I felt her casual, unconscious affection rush through me, warm and sweet, and it was a feeling I’d never had before.

  Not in my life.

  I slid an arm along her waist and looked down at her face.

  Her fat lip was nearly gone, but the bruising at her cheek had darkened.

  By my experience, she had another day of purpling in that bruise before it started to fade.

  It was good she wasn’t going to school like that.

  I gave her waist a squeeze.

  “Sleep okay, honey?”

  “Mm,” she mumbled, and I hoped that was a yes.

  “You want coffee?”

  “Mm,” she mumbled again, this time nodding a bit in the affirmative, giving me a clue.

  I moved her with me, not letting her go as I got a mug out of the cupboard and then poured her some coffee. We shuffled as one to the fridge to get the milk, shuffled back, and I sploshed in milk and spooned in two sugars, handing her the cup when I was done. She lifted her head just enough to take a sip as I reached for mine and followed suit.

  “You want me to toast you some Pop-Tarts?” I asked, giving her another squeeze. I looked down at her and smiled. “We won’t tell your dad. Our secret.”

  She grinned a sleepy grin back at me.

  “Depends, Toots,” she murmured. “It’s your choice for breakfast today. What’re we havin’?”

  I stared down at her.

  So far, I hadn’t had my choice for breakfast.

  Something about getting my turn rushed through me warm and sweet too.

  “Well, you and your brother always pick waffles or French toast, so I’m going to switch it up a bit. Bacon and eggs.”

  “Dad makes awesome poached eggs.”

  I bet he did.

  “And fried,” she went on.

  “I’m sure he does, sweetie.”

  “And scrambled. And eggs Benedict. He makes the sauce from scratch and everything.”

  I found this interesting.

  Hollandaise sauce was not easy, even for experienced cooks.

  Buck was a fantastic cook, but that took it to a whole new level.

  I took another sip of coffee then stated, “Eggs Benedict it is. Then, we’ll get showered and you and I’ll take the Charger on its maiden voyage. Well, not maiden as it’s a classic car, but maiden voyage for us.”

  She tipped her head to the side, her eyes lightly dancing.

  “Maiden voyage?”

  “Yes, its first journey, or its first with you and me.”

  “I know what it means, Toots, but who talks like that?”

  I grinned at her, lifted my mug and said, “Me.”

  She grinned back and I kept talking.

  “I have to go to the grocery store. I take goodies into the folks at Ace. They like the homemade ones best. I’m thinking a cake. Some kind of sheet cake. One that goes far. Like chocolate with cream cheese frosting and maybe we’ll sprinkle mini-chocolate chips on top. What do you think? You want to go to the store with me and then help me bake a cake?”

  “Sure, that’d be cool,” she whispered, that hint of surprise on her face again.

  I guessed she and Kristy didn’t often bake together.

  That was awful, and the sweet warmth washed out of me as I realized that I’d always yearned for a mom who would put me on a stool and wrap a kitchen towel around me and teach me how to bake even as I made a mess. And then later guide the way as I made treats for my boyfriends.

  Tatie actually had a mom, and she didn’t have that.

  It was high time, for both of us, and thinking that, I gave her a squeeze.

  “Then our plans are set for the day,” I decided, at the same time deciding more.

  She had a dad who seemed to be able to kit out his room pretty well, but Tatie’s was like a guest room.

  That week, we were going to fix up her room.

  And get her more vampire novels.

  And journals.

  Makeup and jewelry and clothes too. She had to get right back in the saddle of being at one with who she was and caring how she looked, something she’d done pre-incident, and I was going to see to it that she continued to do so now.

  Her father was okay with handing off hundreds of dollars to me to “have fun,” I had no doubt he’d be okay with my plans.

  These were my happy thoughts as Tatie tensed and her head turned to look out the windows.

  I followed her gaze and saw a car heading fast up the graveled drive. It, too, was a classic car, like the Nova and Charger.

  What it was not was a cool classic car that was restored and well taken care of.

  It was a junker.

  “Holy shit, that’s Mom,” Tatie breathed, and I sucked in my own breath.

  “Sorry?” I whispered.

  She pulled woodenly away
, and I saw her face was panicked when she looked up at me.

  “Clara, God, that’s Mom!”

  Oh dear.

  “Go,” I ordered, putting down my coffee mug. “Go now. Wake up your dad.”

  She didn’t move.

  “Tatie, honey, go,” I repeated, taking her mug away and setting it beside mine. “Now, baby.”

  She nodded and dashed away.

  I hurried to the door, pulling my robe further closed and tying the belt tighter as I felt my heart start to race.

  “Why?” I muttered under my breath as I unlocked the door. “Why couldn’t we have a day of eggs Benedict and making blinkety blank cake?”

  I threw open the door and pinned a smile on my face.

  That smile faltered, but I just managed to hold it when I saw the two angry people stomping toward me.

  Buck had a type.

  And that type was not me.

  Nails was dark, and Kristy was the same with brown eyes.

  Kristy was shorter though, than both Nails and me, and she carried extra weight. She did this well, it looked good on her.

  What didn’t look good on her was her still-pretty face twisted in fury.

  And Kristy had a type too.

  Knuckles was with her and he was big and dark like Buck. He, too, had a good many tattoos on display on his arms and up his neck. And he, too, had been handsome.

  At one time.

  Now, he was not.

  Now, lines scored deep in his face. His gray eyes looked mean. And the once muscle of his big body had turned to flab, evidencing the fact that he didn’t live a busy life working on homes, or cabinets and taking care of an MC. He lived a sedentary life, likely drinking beer, eating a good deal of food, not much, if any healthy if the sallowness of his skin was anything to go by, and smoking way too much.

  Which he was doing now, except he was done, and he flicked the butt in Buck’s drive.

  A goodly number of the MC brothers smoked, and there were overflowing ashtrays outside every door that was connected to any building at Ace.

  Buck didn’t smoke and neither did either of his children. His driveway was a driveway made of gravel, but it was a drive situated next to a fabulous house that was next to a meandering creek in Arizona, for God’s sake. Flicking out a cigarette butt so casually not only was a massive fire hazard, it seemed strangely like giving God the finger.