Ecstatic (Arcane Mage Series Book 5)

by T. S. Snow

This was a crappy situation all around. I should be mad, I should be furious with him, but I couldn’t find it in myself to resent him anymore.

  He was right—I had gotten over him, to a point. I couldn’t hold onto the rage anymore, not like I once had, even if pieces of me would always mourn the loss of him.

  “I’m sorry I fucked up and couldn’t be the guy you deserved, Char. But I am happy for you, if the Necromancer makes you happy, I mean. I…I’ll learn to be okay with it, I swear. So don’t worry and don’t walk on eggshells around me. I know this is all long overdue, but for what it’s worth, I never meant to break your heart. I always only ever wanted you to be happy.”

  My eyes burned with the tears I was trying to fight. I looked up, trying to keep myself from crying, and curled my fingers so my nails would pierce my skin. Physical pain was better, it was easier, and it kept the tears at bay.

  For now, at least.

  I bit my bottom lip. “Why did you do it? Why did you ghost me? Apologies are pretty and all, Theo, but after all this time, don’t you think I deserve to at least know why? I could’ve gotten over you having fallen out of love with me, but to end things the way you did…that was cruel. You can’t tell me that you never meant to hurt me when you so easily erased me from your life. You don’t get to tell me that you weren’t the guy I deserved, not when you didn’t give me a choice. And most of all, you don’t get to say you just want me to be happy, when I know you tried to stake a claim on me years later. So what is it, Theodore?” I crossed my arms in front of me. “Are you happy for me, or are you trying to fight for me?”

  Okay, so maybe I was still a little mad.

  A lot mad, actually.

  But the mixed signals were giving me whiplash.

  Growing up, Theo had been the ultimate boy next door, even if we hadn’t actually lived next door to each other. We lived close enough that we could walk or bike to each other’s houses. He’d been my best friend, my first crush, and then my first love.

  We’d played together, fought together, and been groomed to take over the reins of our houses together. We understood each other because we both came from the same place, were handed the same responsibilities. Even if his schooling was handled by his grandmother and mine by my parents. Even if he had strong magic, stronger even than his parents's, and I didn’t. Even when I was taken down to the magic lab for testing while they tried to bring my magic forth and Theo was allowed to run free. He’d been by my side, and I’d loved him for it.

  We were supposed to be rivals, but our families didn’t care much that we’d played together as kids, so long as our duties came first and we knew our place. It was unusual, to say the least, but I was pretty sure it had been an attempt on his parents’ side to diminish the crazy feud that existed between the heirs.

  In fact, most of the heirs had had playdates at one point or another, even if just to see how we’d interact. However, the boys had never managed to do anything other than fight or pick on the girls. Only Theo stood apart, stood with me, and tried to protect me from the others.

  Protect me from Blaze’s brother, especially.

  After the third playdate attempt ended in nothing but more fighting, the families finally quit their crazy ideas. We went back to our separate little groups, only meeting at functions when we grew old enough to attend without embarrassing the heads of our houses.

  Quite the stellar upbringing, that one. Still, I’d had one constant in my life, and that had been Theo. Well, Theo and the fact my magic was weak. So basically, two constants in my life, really.

  Until the rug had been pulled from underneath my feet and then there was one.

  “Char, I… Do you really think knowing why would change anything? It won’t. No, it can’t. I shouldn’t have tried to stake a claim on you. I shouldn’t have done any of this, I just…” Theo pulled his hair in frustration, his eyes pleading for me to understand. “I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything. I know I fucked up. I knew even back then that what I was doing was unforgivable. I guess, all this time, I’ve been kind of deluding myself with the idea that I’d find a way to fix things so we could be together, you know? But the truth is, there isn’t a way. And I’m really trying to do right by you, to let you go. You deserve more than I can give you, Char. More than any of us can give you, honestly. Your whole life, you were trapped by Arcane society and its expectations, but now you’re free to be what you want. I’m not taking that away from you.”

  I stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Is that it, then? Was this your great reason for breaking my heart? For ghosting me? For casting me aside when I lost everything? You knew what was better for me from age eighteen, and so you made it your mission to follow through?” Oh, I was going to kick his fucking ass so hard, he’d see stars.

  Seriously. The nerve of some people.

  “What? No! That’s not what I meant, Char.” Theo looked truly shocked at my accusation. “I’d never… No. I’d never do something like that. Cut me some slack.” He pulled at his hair again, and I started to worry he’d turn bald before he hit thirty.

  Would totally serve him right, anyway.

  “Char. You have to believe me. It wasn’t like that,” he pleaded.

  I was getting real tired of this shit.

  “Well then, what was it like, Theodore Louis Soulbinder?”

  Theo cringed at my use of his full name, but I was beyond caring. Besides, full names were meant to be used in situations like this. It was a rule, I was sure of it.

  “It’s not important,” he replied, and I screamed in frustration. Hopefully, if I released my anger this way, it’d prevent me from physically attacking him. Or punching him in the throat. Maybe just kneeing him right where it would hurt. That would be so satisfying.

  “You know what? Fuck this. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could find it in myself to forgive you or something. Maybe we could even grow to be friends again. But no, I’m not doing this. If you can’t tell me why, if you can’t give me a reason, flimsy as it may be, then fuck that. I’m done. Let’s just work together to get out of here, and then we won’t even have to see each other anymore, ever again. But I swear to the Goddess, Theodore, if I find you sniffing around or being all stalkery after this, I’ll find a way to curse your MET so every time you cast a spell with it, they’ll smell like farts.”

  Frustrated, hurt, and more than a little pissed, I stomped away from him, towards Logan, who’d thankfully given us the illusion of privacy.

  “Char, wait!” Theo called out. I turned to face him, my eyes glistening with tears but full of fire.

  “No. Fuck you and your broken promises and your lies. If you can’t be enough of a man to at least tell me why, then I have nothing to discuss with you, Theodore Soulbinder. We’re done. And this time, I’m the one saying it. You didn’t care about what I had to say five years ago—well now it’s my turn to not give a crap.”

  I reached Logan, who was staring at the wall as if it were fascinating stuff, but I was too fed up to be mortified, even when I knew this would come back to bite me in the ass later.

  “Do you want me to kick his ass?” Logan offered, all serious and nonchalant, like he offered to kick people’s asses all the time.

  As if he were some kind of knight in shining armor with a bad attitude, whose sole purpose in life was beating some sense into idiots.

  Against my better judgement, a giggle escaped me at the mental image of Logan the savior. “No, it’s okay. Honestly, I just want to figure out how to get the fuck out of here so I can be rid of him.”

  Logan turned so he was watching me closely, but he didn’t comment on my tears.

  “Well, as it so happens, while the two of you were, erh…having your moment, I came up with an idea, but you’re not going to like it.”

  “Anything is better than staying stuck here in this damp prison cell with my ex and you—no offense to you by the way, all offense to him—waiting for my dear cousin to come finish us off,” I replied.

&n
bsp; Logan just raised an eyebrow. “We’ll see about that.”

  Oh great. Not ominous at all.

  4

  Andres

  Everything was going to shit, and I couldn’t shake the feeling it was all my fault.

  First my uncle, now Charisma.

  My Charisma.

  Why hadn’t I stayed with her? Why hadn’t I waited? Hell, I could’ve dropped her off at AMIA myself before I came to my parents’ place to watch over them.

  Stupid.

  There was no denying I’d been stupid, and now Char was paying the price for it.

  I paced around my father’s office, ignoring the worried looks from my parents. I wanted to be out there, looking for her, but there was nothing I could do until we knew more.

  Until we knew where she was.

  She’d texted me when her driver had arrived to pick her up, but since then, I’d heard nothing from her.

  The word kidnapped rang around my head over and over, like a horde of angry wasps, but nothing had been confirmed yet.

  It was all just guesswork on my end.

  Fuck, why hasn’t Bast called me yet?

  He should have arrived at his house by now. I’d called him over an hour ago. A whole hour where I’d been desperately trying to contact Char with no luck.

  Maybe she’d forgotten something at the house, asked the driver to turn back, and the reason nobody was able to reach her was because her phone had run out of battery.

  If that had been the case, either Bast or Blaze would’ve called me by now.

  I gripped my phone tightly, praying to the Goddess for it to ring.

  My prayers were left unanswered, however.

  “Andres, I know you’re worried about your girlfriend, but we need to discuss the Ricardo matter. Crushing your phone won’t make people call you any faster. Right now, your uncle’s disappearance should be our top priority—”

  I cut my father off before he could continue.

  “I’m sorry, Dad, really, but while Uncle Ricardo might and should be your top priority, he isn’t mine. I’m not saying I’m turning my back on my duties, nor am I denying that the situation has escalated. However, Charisma is my priority. It was your decision to pretend to be sick and leave me to take over more responsibilities. It was your scheming that resulted in me dueling my own uncle and then stripping everything from him. I get why you did it, but I was never consulted for any of it. And had it not been for Charisma, I might not have won the duel. So I’m sorry, but we don’t know whether or not Ricardo was taken as a hostage by the resistance or if he just escaped. But I do know Charisma is missing, and there has to be something I can do to help find her.” I faced my dad as I finished my rant.

  I knew I was probably being a little unfair, but every word was true. Maybe it was childish, choosing the woman I liked over my family. The way I saw it, I wasn’t picking one over the other, not really.

  I was all for finding my uncle and making sure he was thrown in jail for the rest of his life for what he’d tried to do to my father, his own brother. But Char’s life was likely in imminent danger, rather than the possible threat presented by my uncle.

  “Actually, we do know,” my father said, cringing. “There were…documents at Ricardo’s house that linked him to the resistance. We’d only just finished going through some of them when you called us with the news of his escape. Whatever his aim might be, he wasn’t taken hostage by them. He’s working with them. I actually think he might be one of the leaders, but we can’t know for sure so I sent all his stuff over to AMIA. They’ll probably have better luck at finding the connection, and locating him as well.”

  What. The. Actual. Fuck?

  I couldn’t believe…

  No, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t that I couldn’t believe, but rather that I didn’t want to believe that my own fucking uncle would stoop this low. I supposed it shouldn’t come as a surprise, really, considering he was the same man who’d tried to poison his brother and kill his own nephew, but… I supposed this whole time, I was still clinging to the hope that this was all a mistake, a nightmare, some sort of sick, twisted joke.

  However, both my parents’ faces were grim, saddened. I could see none of my father’s usual charm or my mother’s poise. It felt a lot more like they’d resigned themselves to whatever fate Ricardo had in store for them, rather than bracing themselves for a confrontation. My parents had dark circles under their eyes, especially my father, and they kept their gazes downcast. I knew my father was probably blaming himself for Ricardo. Even though dad was the younger sibling, as head of the family, it was his responsibility to keep all Illusionists in line. Even if it wasn’t actually his fault, I doubted there would be any convincing him of that.

  “Son, the problem is that now that he’s been banished, he has nothing to lose; he no longer has to hide his intentions or act from the shadows anymore. If I know my brother at all, we’ll be the first place he’ll strike.” Dad ran a hand through his hair, and his eyes met mine, begging me to understand, to forgive him. “If I’d known he was involved with the resistance, I would’ve done things differently. I swear to you, Andres. I never wanted to put you in a situation where you couldn’t win. I knew the duel, while cruel, was almost guaranteed. You’ve always been great at magic, and your power far surpasses Ricardo’s, even if he couldn’t see it. You’re your mother’s son, after all.” Dad gave me a sad smile before looking at my mom, who looked furious with him.

  I guessed she still hadn’t fully forgiven him for pretending to be sick and tricking us into thinking he was dying.

  Good. He deserved to grovel.

  Truth was, even I wasn’t sure if I’d completely forgiven him for that, and I hoped to fuck I’d never put my own children in a position where they’d have to choose between their people or their family.

  My mother sighed. “Diego, you’re putting too much on Andres’ shoulders again. Can’t you see the boy is struggling? He looks like he lost ten pounds in mere days.”

  Ouch.

  I mean, I appreciated my mother, but damn. Talk about harsh truth.

  “Okay. Here’s the thing. I do agree with you, Dad. About Uncle—about Ricardo, I mean.” I went back to pacing around the room, needing to do something, anything, even if I was just moving around in circles to get rid of some of the nervous energy. “If I were in his shoes, I’d attack us too. But if everything you’ve said is true, that means he’s playing the long game. In his place, I’d want us to be on high alert, constantly second-guessing, constantly worrying and wondering if this was the moment I’d strike. I’d be patient, lurking until you started to feel secure, and then, and only then, would I strike with everything I had. He probably knows that if he attacks us now, we’ll be bracing ourselves for it, we’ll be ready. But if he waits…well, he could catch us unaware, meaning we have time before Ricardo becomes a threat. Charisma might not have that much time.”

  “Are you willing to risk our lives for her?” my dad asked, and I froze.

  Had he just… Did he really just…

  “For Goddess’ sake, Diego William Illudere. You’re acting like you’ve never been in love before,” Mom admonished him before turning to me. Her features and voice softened when she spoke again. “Go, Andres. Don’t worry about us or your uncle. We’ll deal with him. Go help your friends find your girl. Take care of her and of yourself.”

  I didn’t need telling twice.

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said before turning and fleeing.

  I’d call Bast, find out where they were, and do everything I could to find my Char.

  I had just gone through the door when I heard my mother scolding my father more, and I winced. Mom was about to rip him a new asshole, and honestly, this time, I was one hundred percent team Mom.

  Hopefully, she’d leave him alive so they could deal with my uncle. Once I found Char, I’d come back and help them, but until then…

  I had to find my girl.

  5

  Charisma />
  Logan had been right—I hated his fucking plan. But most of all, I hated that it was probably the one most likely to succeed.

  Still, there were moments when a girl wanted to keep her dignity and not just throw it in the hands of Wile E. Coyote thinking that he would for sure catch Roadrunner this time around out of sheer determination.

  In this case, Logan wanted me to basically star in his biggest fantasy, which was me crying in a corner while he ripped me a new asshole. Or to be specific, he was going to not-so-fake bully me and call me all sorts of things the minute we heard them approaching, because we both knew Cara would be absolutely delighted at having someone talk down to me. Then, while my cousin was basking in the free entertainment, I was supposed to stun whoever came after us before they had a chance to actually attack.

  I also had to be careful to make sure they were close enough so we’d be able to find the keys out of this damn prison.

  The other option had Theo and Logan actually physically trading blows while I played the hysterical girl card and tried to pull them apart. However, the guards might feel inclined to just stun us all to make things stop, and that risked everything.

  I’d tried to argue that Logan yelling at me might result in the same thing if Cara didn’t actually come down here, but the truth was…she would.

  Whether or not they truly did come to kill us, Cara would absolutely want to be here to talk down to me at least one more time, because it was in her nature to get off on putting me down.

  Problem was, she was also very likely to bring a bunch of goons to witness it; first, because she thrived off the whole mean girl routine, but also because even she knew she couldn’t handle Logan and Theo.

  Regardless of them having their magic or not, they were bigger and stronger than she was. And while Cara had an insane amount of magical power, she sucked in close combat.

  All the more reason I’d worked my ass off to become good at different martial arts. If it came down to it, I could trust my body in ways she couldn’t trust hers.