Horseplay

by Cam Daly

  “Okay. Okay. Let’s take advantage of that. There has to be something we can do. What can we do…” He felt fantastic. Strong. Full of energy. He flexed his arms, wiggled his fingers, then turned back to her again. “This is amazing. I feel great. I wonder what I could do… What exactly can you do? How strong are you?”

  “I can bench press over a ton.”

  He had so many ideas that it was hard to decide which to focus on first.

  “Good. Great! Can you shoot things? Fly? Survive at the bottom of the ocean?”

  “No weapons. No flying. My brain can take over ten thousand Gs. It’s basically a rock.”

  “How fast can you run? How are you at cornering?” He had read something that said that cornering was the real test of a sports car. She looked confused. He tried to demonstrate running and turning at the same time but slipped on the carpet.

  She was across the room in an instant and caught him before he hit the ground. Up close, her masquerade as a human was flawless. She felt right.

  “Over a hundred miles per hour. I have to lean into a sharp turn but my hands and feet can stick to almost anything.”

  “Show me.”

  She effortlessly placed him upright, looked around the room then up. The ceiling had exposed beams every couple of meters or so. She leaped up and touched the beam above her with the fingers of one hand. Her feet dangled a meter above the floor. Then she did an upside-down cartwheel along the beam.

  “Wow!” She was amazing. His entire life to this point felt like a precursor to this moment. His thinking felt more simplified, more pure than it had ever been before. He had to impress her, to make sure that she thought he could be useful. “I used to climb. Turn towards me and hold still.” He scrambled onto the table. She switched hands and turned her dangling body to face him. “Hold your arm out sideways. And your leg.”

  “I don’t think…” She didn’t finish as he jumped to her, catching himself on her free arm. His bare feet flailed about for a moment until she moved hers to give him impromptu foot rests.

  She gave him a real smile then, not the mad scientist one. His could feel his heart beating madly in his chest as he leaned the last few inches and kissed her. She was as warm and soft as she looked.

  He drew back even more quickly. “I’m sorry…that’s not…but you’re just…“ He was about to jump down then realized her free arm was around him now. “…just, umm, perfect.” Her resulting smile caused the tiniest crinkle of the skin on the bridge of her nose.

  She pulled him close again.

  “Don’t be sorry. This is a good idea.”

  #

  “What’s she doing?” Shadow stared at the screen in dismay, covering one eye with her hand but unable to look away. Contact alarms had sounded when he jumped at Keryapt but she had silenced them immediately. Different, more insistent sirens now warned that direct contact had been established. Connor’s face filled most of the forward view from Keryapt’s Interloper body.

  Belianta, the new xenobiologist on Shadow’s team, responded before Keryapt might have. “I believe that she is taking steps to keep his heart rate elevated so that the Tumorish counteragent can be entirely effective.”

  Shadow watched the display wall for a few seconds, shuddered and turned away.

  She faced Belianta and lowered her voice, embarrassed at her previous outburst. “How long does a human male typically take for a sexual encounter?”

  “I believe the males can be quite quick. I’ll get someone from physical communications in here as quickly as possible. They can help you guide her, if her intent is to go through the entire coital process.”

  Shadow put her face in her hands. “I’m afraid it is.”

  The xenobiologist looked at Shadow for a moment longer. “Is this your first time, having your Active in physical communication with a Labworld native?”

  “Yes.” She was very glad that no one knew Keryapt was also her mother.

  “She is going to need a lot of your help to be convincing. I hope you don’t have anything else planned.”

  Shadow’s head shot up. The reinforcement squadron Captains were due on the Planning Stage in 30 minutes. “Keryapt! You need to make this quick!” She had little hope that her instruction would affect the outcome of events.

  “Shadow?” Ruut had appeared on the Stage. “We got incredibly lucky. A fourth Retreater-class Craven ship was just detected in the main belt, near the Vreen and practically on top of ObSat 73.”

  “Show me.” She turned back to Belianta. “And you - get that comm specialist in here now. And someone bring up the flowchart and sequencing for human arousal and sexual activity!”

  #

  The Planning Stage had more than doubled in size. Normally it was a place for an Active and Shadow to set strategy before or discuss outcomes after some sort of significant event, then the Shadow would interact with the rest of the support team in real space or a separate virtual environment. Because neither the sexual encounter or the space battle seemed likely to require Active-speed responses, the support personnel for each activity were now grouped together near display and virtual consoles for their respective side. Shadow herself was positioned above and behind both groups so that she could see and hear the internal discussions that resulted.

  To her left, a team analyzed events in the asteroid belt as they unfolded. They were a new group just assigned to her and she didn’t know much about them, other than the fact that they were all more experienced than her. She followed their chatter as best she could.

  “Infrared from ObSat 73 suggests it's carrying a new type of ship to ship missile.” Gradient drive equipped ships at full speed moved faster than coherent energy beams, so the only way to affect them was with missiles capable of FTL travel.

  “Vreen accelerating at organic limits, crew cryostorage expected within thirty seconds.”

  “Craven Retreater designate R-4 still on needle thruster, velocity indicates at least six hours of acceleration. Approaching Vreen escape vector, estimate closest approach at less than a light second.” The smaller ship, trying to evade the three Craven it could detect, would be practically running into the fourth. And the most dangerous place to be was behind a Craven ship. They were designed to fight while running away.

  Carum, the physical communications specialist from Labworld Ops, was currently located at the other end of the kilometer long ship and couldn’t have made it to the control room in time to be useful if he tried. So far he had only been of nominal value - Shadow feared that he had been selected based on seniority in the mostly theoretical field, not practical experience.

  On Shadow’s right, the xenobiologist Belianta was losing her patience with him even more quickly than Shadow. “His heart rate is above 80 beats per minute and his dermal temperature is up a full degree. Look at the signs of vasocongestion here…” She pushed aside the view from Keryapt’s eyes and switched to the data coming in from the Hawk remote. It was standing to one side of the room, observing the entangled pair. “...on his cheeks. He’s already passing out of the early excitement phase and could already be into plateau.”

  The older man was quick to respond to the xenobiologist. “I disagree, and further emphasize that it could be disastrous to rush through the proper sequence of social cues. We need more data.” Carum turned to Shadow. “Instruct your Active to report on his degree of tumescence without using direct digital contact.”

  Ruut was studying sequenced data from local pornographic video sources. “Carum, I think she can just take his pants off and he would be fine with that. Human males don’t seem to be as discerning as you think.” The data was arranged according to the different phases of arousal and activity so that he could present them to Keryapt as needed.

  “No! Absolutely not!” Carum replied more stridently than necessary in the virtual room. “Any variation from typical behavior could remind him of her alien origin. The shirt has to come before the pants. We are fortunate that he’s not wearing socks or sho
es as that could be a significant issue.”

  Shadow wasn’t sure who to believe, but Carum was supposed to be the expert. “Fine. Keryapt, try to figure out the size of his erection without using your hands. Ruut, tell her how.”

  He brought up a map of the room. “Keryapt. Don’t stop the oral engagement, but over the course of the next five to ten seconds also try to circle around to sit on the edge of the table. Good - just like that. Now wrap your legs around him and bring your pelvis closer to his. How large does he feel?

  Her disembodied voice echoed in the Stage. “Probably twice as large as normal? It’s hard to tell.” Shadow double checked that the comm settings prevented the Active’s words from entering the real world. That would almost certainly change the nature of the encounter for the negative.

  Carum checked his screens for a moment then looked up at Shadow again. “Good. She has taken the next step in the sexual negotiation and he will respond again soon. He should be taking off his shirt within a few minutes.”

  Ruut started searching for the best way for Keryapt to strip off her combat suit while still maintaining her allure. The scenarios created for Mezerello never included that possibility.

  Shadow turned her attention back to the other working group. “Can we get a message to the Vreen?”

  That earned her a few hostile stares. “Why would we want to do that? They would never help anyone else.”

  “Because we might be better off with fewer Craven in the system. Can we contact that ship directly?”

  “They will likely regard any message as an attack of some sort. We could try to go through diplomatic tanglecomms to their hierarchy.”

  “Set it up, but don’t tell them anything specific yet. Where are we on that weapons analysis?”

  The schematic of the Craven ship appeared in front of Shadow. Their fear of death, even by an incredibly unlikely random collision in the empty void of space, led them to build some of the most narrow ships ever seen. This one looked like a javelin with a crown of six angled drive heads in front and behind, circled by six parallel arrows at its midsection.

  One of the senior analysts spoke. “Our consensus is that it is a new long range weapon package of some sort, but we aren’t sure of its purpose. It has a larger gradient drive system than we would expect on an anti-ship missile, and lacks any sign of standard beam weapon or submunition systems.”

  Shadow wasn’t an expert in starship design but the Craven weapon had a unique look. “Any other possible use for them? Any sign of crew access?”

  “None. The Craven would never go outside to reach an escape ship and the support structure is too narrow for them to fit inside. They are definitely weapons of some sort.”

  Shadow had been hoping for some more obvious clue to the Craven plan. “When will they reach optimal striking range on the Vreen?”

  “It’s hard to be precise about their acceleration profile, but we expect to see a pair detach in 4 or 5 minutes. Assuming they use a standard symmetrical launch.”

  “Keryapt! What are you doing?” Carum clearly objected to whatever it was. Shadow focused back on the scene on Earth. Keryapt was just tossing Connor’s shirt away.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Ruut replied first. “I think she got tired of waiting for him to start disrobing. She took matters into her own hands.” He finished working on a diagram of how she should take off her combat suit for best effect and sent it directly to her. They watched on screen as she paused in mid-kiss.

  Connor seemed to notice her pause. “What is it?”

  She smiled again at him and began unclipping the suit. “Nothing.”

  He reached in to try to help but she held him back with another kiss. A moment later the thin armor layer slipped free and she was naked before him. He leaned back, studied her for a moment and produced a look somewhere between joy and hunger.

  Shadow, Belianta and Ruut all looked at Carum. “So?”

  “Umm…”

  Shadow was tired of waiting for him. “Keryapt! Jump on!” The Active did just that while Carum looked on in useless horror. Connor didn’t seem to mind her action or even notice her weight as he turned and carried her towards the bedroom. “And bring your stupid bird!” A moment later the view from the seagull shaped remote began moving forward towards the amorous pair.

  The Labworld Command communication team leader interrupted their viewing. “Shadow, we have a link to the Vreen. The Admiralty has negotiated a real time one way data drop with them. The channel is open for you.”

  He disconnected, leaving the decision up to her. She hadn’t made up her mind yet whether or not to warn them. The Vreen and Fleet four had always been hostile towards each other. “Hmm. What would Keryapt do?”

  Ruut took her musing as a direct question. “Keep her options open. As much as we dislike and distrust them, grateful Vreen might be useful at some point. Or at least, having fewer Craven around can’t hurt.”

  “I concur. Send the position data on the fourth ship but not visual. It isn’t worth giving up the ObSat’s location or the weapon data.”

  “Data sent.”

  She guessed it would take a minute or two to propagate through Fleet and Vreen systems before it was passed to the ship.

  While she waited for the reaction, Shadow checked the sequencing table for human sexual activity. Once the human male had entered the female in the position that Keryapt was guiding Connor towards, the decision tree for the female rapidly collapsed and most of the exertion was left to the male. That was exactly their intent, to get the Tumorish counteragent spread throughout his entire circulatory system.

  Her console flashed a warning at her and she turned back to the battle. The Vreen ship had suddenly increased its acceleration rate ten-fold. If they had flash-frozen the crew before accelerating, they could be thawed later with a good chance of survival. Unfrozen, they would be dead within a few seconds. No race known to Fleet had developed gravitic compensation which could shield a crew subjected to a thousand Gs.

  A moment later it became obvious to Shadow that the Vreen were not changing course at all. “They decided to do the opposite of what our data suggested would be best.”

  The Craven ship was still going to pass in front of the Vreen but it would be closer than if they hadn’t accelerated. The nearby Retreater reacted a few seconds later. It activated its gradient drive and rapidly began to change course to avoid the path of the Vreen.

  “So, Craven R-4 thinks the Vreen saw them, and don’t want to fight alone. Will you engage or run?” The Craven couldn’t hear her, of course. Optical data from ObSat 73 caught up with the instantaneous gravitic data and showed the pattern of stars on either end of the ship stretch and deform as light passing through the drive pattern was warped. Then two of the large missiles detached.

  Shadow was embarrassed that she still didn’t know the name of the weapon tech who called it out. “We have gravitic track on two launches from R-4.”

  Once away from the main ship, the missiles had activated their own gradient drives and were accelerating towards the Vreen. They would arrive in 30 seconds.

  “Keryapt, stop! You’re killing him!” Carum again. The view from Keryapt showed a close up of Connor’s face with his eyes clenched shut and mouth agape. His entire body spasmed. Belianta didn’t offer any response and Shadow fumbled to get the xenobiologist’s data on her screen.

  Ruut saved them from any further misinterpretation. “Actually, I think that’s normal.” He sent a dozen images from his records to a sub-screen, all showing various human males frozen in similar expressions.

  Keryapt wasn’t watching what was going on in the Stage but gave voice to echo Ruut’s thought. “I think that was it.”

  Shadow was relieved the primary physical interaction was done. “Good. The Craven are about to destroy the Vreen ship in the belt but there isn’t anything we can do here. Stay with him and get a sample for Belianta as soon as you can.”

  “I’m not sure…” />
  Shadow cut Carum off as she turned to him. “Thank you for your assistance.” She expelled him from the Planning Stage before focusing back on the weapon tech monitoring the missiles. “Where are they?”

  “Vreen are trying to evade and firing defensive beams. Impact expected in 5…4…”

  The view of the stars at either end of the Vreen ship suddenly slewed back to their normal positions. Its gravitic drive had shut off.

  Keryapt’s naked human form faded into view next on the Stage. She took a second to take stock of the new layout, then hopped up to Shadow’s platform. “What’s going on?”

  “No idea. Vreen defenses have shut down. They’re just drifting.”

  “3…”

  The missiles bore down on their target. It made no move to escape.

  Both Actives studied sensor data coming in from ObSat 73.

  “No radiation or detected energy emissions from the missiles.”

  “2…”

  “No sign of engine failure. They just turned everything off. Giving up?”

  Keryapt knew better. “Vreen giving up? Not a chance.”

  “1…”

  Both women were silent as the first missile struck. Without any defensive maneuvers, it could have literally run into its target and destroyed it with kinetic energy alone. But the antimatter blast made certain that not even the slightest scrap of the Vreen ship would survive.

  The second missile peeled away, heading back to be picked up by a Craven ship.

  Keryapt appreciated the implications before Shadow did. “It’s a new type of weapon. It did something while approaching the Vreen ship that we can’t detect. Something that completely shut it down, making it an easy target.”

  A new voice behind them offered another observation. “And we can be certain the Vreen hierarchy won’t tell us what happened.” The twenty-four Captains of the reinforcement squadron had arrived on the Planning Stage. “If that new technology was produced on this Labworld, then only Keryapt will be able to find it.”

  Shadow turned with Keryapt to face them. “What do you mean? Why ‘only’ Keryapt?”