Toxic (Book Three of the Twisted Series 3)

by Emily Rose

  I enjoyed feeling her clench around me and hearing her moan my name. I was a selfish person, because even though I knew what this meant for her and hell, everyone, I still couldn’t say that I regretted a single moment of it. Ray had really got under my skin more than anyone could have imagined and now I had no fucking idea what to do about it.

  I knew this put her in a tough position. She had Miles and Danny. Hell, I had Miles and Danny. And I couldn’t say that I was over Danny. I loved that damn girl, but Ray…I couldn’t be sure how she made me feel.

  Everything was so fucking complicated now and I had no idea how any one of us was going to make it through all of it unscathed. I wasn’t even sure if we could. It was only a matter of time before the truth came out and I couldn’t say that I was the same person I was six months ago, so I had no idea who I would be when that happened. I barely knew who I was right now.

  As everything fogged my mind, I felt an overwhelming anger take hold of me. It coursed through my veins like snake venom and I looked up at the mirror to watch as it darkened my eyes. My hands clenched into fists on their own and my muscles tensed.

  Before I could stop myself, I reared back with my right fist and smashed it into the mirror, shattering the glass. Pain erupted through my hand as I watched the glass rain down onto the counter. That was when I saw the blood from my hand drip onto the shattered pieces. I took a deep breath, ignoring the pain in my side and hand, as I grabbed the towel that hung on the bar to my left. I wrapped it around my bleeding hand, putting pressure on it as I did and walked out of the bathroom.

  I grabbed some clothes and got dressed, throwing the towel that had been around my waist on the floor and then crashed onto the bed. I laid on my stomach with my head resting on the pillow and stared at the wall as the pain from my injuries rocked through my body. I closed my eyes and pushed it aside once more as I finally let my mind vanish into sweet fucking oblivion.

  *

  I had no idea how much time passed before I woke, but it had been enough to make it daylight outside. If I had thought my body was sore last night, it wasn’t anything compared to what I felt like right now. I groaned as I rolled out of bed and rubbed my eyes. Once I could see straight, I looked at the time on the alarm clock.

  It was nearly 3 pm.

  And I was late for work.

  “Shit,” I said and then stood up.

  Dizziness washed over me, but I pushed it aside as I hurried to get dressed. Grabbing a pair of jeans from the floor and my Twisted T-shirt. I looked around for my shoes and found those, slipping them on as I walked to the bathroom.

  That was when I stopped. The pieces of the mirror were still scattered across the counter and some had even hit the floor. My blood had dried on the counter, which reminded me that I still had the towel around my hand. I sighed and ripped it off before I threw it into the hamper. I spent the next few minutes cleaning up the mess in the bathroom and once that was back into halfway good condition, I looked through the cabinets for the medical kit I knew I had.

  I found it in the second cabinet I looked through and pulled it out, sitting it on the counter and opening the small box. I started washing my hand off, and it burned like a son of a bitch as I made sure to remove every piece of glass I found. I dried it off gently and grabbed the anti-germ shit from the medical box. I put it over all the tiny cuts on my fist and then grabbed the gauze, wrapping it around my hand until it was secured tightly in place.

  Once I had that done, I brushed my teeth quickly and then hurried back into the bedroom to grab my wallet, keys, and phone.

  Rachel was seriously going to either kick my ass or question my ass to death. One of the two. And I had no idea how I was going to explain my hand or the other injuries that were clearly visible to her and everyone else, but I couldn’t think that far ahead right now. I rushed out the door and jumped in my car, sticking the key in and turning over the engine.

  I skidded out of the driveway and hauled ass across town to Twisted.

  *

  I had been right. Rachel did jump all over my ass for being late and she did ask me why I looked like I had been involved in an underground fighting ring. I answered with a shrug, which was about the only damn thing I could do. Ray might know about my addiction, which hadn’t been that much of an issue lately, but I wasn’t about to tell everyone about my problems.

  So yeah, I had got my ass kicked, but then again, two on one wasn’t a very fair fight to begin with. I had no idea why Jared thought I had ripped him off, but he was wrong. He thought beating the fuck out of me had settled it and it might have for him, but it was far from over for me. No one blamed me for something I didn’t do and got away with it.

  I would find a way to end him.

  One way or another.

  If that meant involving the cops like Ray had suggested, then that was what would happen. If it meant it took him off the streets and out of business, I didn’t give a fuck about anything else. Yes, I still had a problem with addiction, but that was my problem to deal with. I couldn’t sit back and let something like what happened to me happen to someone else.

  Ray was right.

  I had to stop this shit.

  Twisted wasn’t as packed tonight, so after scanning the crowd to make sure everyone was behaving themselves, I darted out the back door to get some fresh air. I wasn’t a smoker, so being inside and breathing all of it that lingered in the air made my head hurt.

  I took a deep breath, ignoring the soreness in my side and looked around the parking lot. A few cars were leaving, while a few more were just arriving. I was about to walk back inside when I saw a familiar car pull in and parked next to the front entrance. I stood there, hidden in the shadows as I watched Ray get out of the driver’s seat.

  She wasn’t the only one either. Danny stepped out of the passenger seat. Both girls wore dresses that were short enough to show off their legs and I could tell they had on heels too.

  Ray’s dress was a dark blue, while Danny’s was black. And while Ray had her hair pulled into a tight ponytail, Danny wore hers down.

  I had to admit, both girls looked like they were on a mission. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing though, but I didn’t try to figure it out either. I turned my back on them and headed inside, letting the door slam shut behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ray

  When we walked into Twisted, I instantly smelled the smoke that lingered in the air and heard the song that blared throughout the bar. I was pretty sure it was “Undead” by Hollywood Undead, a band I had listened to a few times over the years.

  The beat of the song made for an exciting entrance as the lights flashed in sync. People were filling the space on the dance floor and some even sung from their booths or barstools. Danny grabbed my hand and we started toward the bar. I spotted Rachel mixing drinks, grabbing beers, and pouring shots. Like usual, she made it look easy.

  Danny somehow grabbed two empty barstools next to each other and we slid onto them. She waited until Rachel was finished with the other customers before she called her over.

  “Hey ladies, what are you two having tonight?” she asked.

  “A Bud-Light for me,” Danny said.

  “Give me a shot of Fireball,” I said.

  Rachel gave me a look at my choice of drink, but she didn’t comment on it as she started getting our drinks ready. I was glad too. There was no way I could explain to her why I needed something stronger than beer right now.

  While Rachel got our drinks ready, I scanned my eyes around the bar. I couldn’t help, but to look for one person in particular. I didn’t see him, but I did spot Chase. He danced with a girl I knew had worked where Danny used to. I thought her name was Gayla.

  I nudged Danny’s shoulder and pointed in their direction. “Isn’t that Gayla?”

  She looked and groaned. “Fuck, yeah it is. They are pretty much the last people on the planet I want to see right now,” she said and then turned back to face t
he bar just as Rachel sat our drinks down.

  “Have fun ladies,” she said and then scooted down the bar to tend to more customers.

  I grabbed my shot and threw it back in one swallow, letting the whisky burn as it went down. Danny watched me closely, and I knew she also wanted to question why I was going for something like Fireball.

  Little did she know; I could tell Rachel the reason why, before I could tell her. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew what I had done was so massively wrong and pretending that I hadn’t done anything made it worse. It felt like I was watching the clock on a bomb tick down. I knew what happened when it hit zero, but I also couldn’t stop it either, so I didn’t even waste my time trying.

  None of it would matter. I have accepted that. And hurt and the guilt crushed me, but there was not a damn thing I could do about it now. I just had to ride it out and watch as everything I have known the past few years imploded right in front of my face.

  And it would all be my fault. I could have stopped the clock. I could have made different choices, but I hadn’t. I wasn’t blaming anyone, but myself. After leaving Jaxson last night, I had drove around for hours and freaked out a lot. I screamed. I cried. I yelled at myself. I did it all until I couldn’t do it anymore, and then I went home and passed out.

  Today had pretty much been a blur. I could remember waking up, changing clothes, and heading to work. I hadn’t even taken a shower before leaving the house.

  When I got to work, Anna instantly picked up on something and while I could tell her a lot of things that I couldn’t tell anyone else, I had kept what happened between me and Jax last night to myself. She hadn’t asked any more questions about it, and I had spent the rest of the day keeping busy with the customers.

  I had even decided to stay after my shift ended just helping Anna out with cleaning up. It wasn’t until Danny called and said she wanted to come to Twisted for a drink that I had went back home.

  And now here I was, scanning the damn bar for Jax.

  I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to see him yet, but I could either play it cool or I could just confess right now and let shit hit the fan. Either way, the way all of this would end called for a shot or ten of Fireball.

  I turned back to the bar and tapped my shot glass on the counter, getting Rachel’s attention. “Can I get another one?” I asked.

  She grabbed the whisky and poured another shot before going back to other customers. I threw that one back too. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Danny watching me, a concerned look on her face. I slammed the shot glass down and shook my head as the whisky burned all the way down until it settled in my stomach.

  “You good?” Danny asked then.

  I nodded, “Yep, just fine.”

  She stared at me and I knew she didn’t believe me. I wouldn’t have believed me either, because even though I liked drinking, I wasn’t normally taking shots back to back. It was a clear sign that something was going on, but I wasn’t drunk enough to let that truth come out yet. A few more shots like the last two, and I might scream it at the top of my lungs to the whole damn bar.

  “Rachel!” I called and she looked over. I held up my empty shot glass and smiled. She rolled her eyes and then headed my way.

  “Are you sure you want to keep taking those like that?” Danny asked.

  “Yep,” I said just as Rachel got to us with the bottle of whisky in her hand. I watched as she poured it and then looked up to meet my gaze.

  “You might want to think about slowing down,” she said.

  I smiled and then threw the shot back after she finished pouring. I put the glass on the counter and saw that both her and Danny stared at me like I had lost my mind.

  And hell, I might have.

  You couldn’t be too sure these days.

  Rachel shook her head and walked away. Danny, on the other hand, continued to stare at me. I shrugged and heard the music switch to another familiar song. “Desire” by Meg Myers started playing.

  I gasped and grabbed Danny’s hand, pulling her with me off the barstools. “Let’s go dance,” I said as the whiskey slowly started fogging up my mind. She didn’t argue as we made it to the dance floor and fell easily into sync with the song. Our bodies almost a perfect match as we moved to the beat.

  Chest to chest. Stomach to stomach.

  Danny turned around and I fell into step with her, putting our backs together instead. We twisted and moved our hips so perfectly that it was almost a turn on. In the dim light of the bar, I could feel the sweat that started to cover my skin and that only added to the overall feel of the song. Add in the buzz that I was feeling right now, and you could almost say that everything felt exactly how it should.

  I looked straight ahead, feeling Danny’s body move behind mine, and caught a set of whisky colored eyes staring directly at me. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, so that the tattoo that covered one entire arm stuck out nicely. I blinked, still moving in sync with Danny, as he continued to watch us.

  Maybe it was the whisky or maybe I had just seriously lost my mind, but as Jaxson stood there watching me dance with his ex-girlfriend and knowing he had fucked both of us, sent a shockwave through me.

  One I had never felt before. It was so strong that it caused me to suck in a breath at the sudden, deep ache that settled in my stomach. He tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, and I knew he had noticed the way my mouth opened just enough to suck in air.

  I was such a messed up, sick, twisted person, because the only thing I could think about right now was the way he watched us. The Fireball shots helped with that and I decided to raise the bar a little, because hell, we were all screwed anyway. With my back still to Danny’s, my hands found their way to her thighs and I grabbed them, so that it looked like I was grabbing her ass. She didn’t even flinch as she continued to move with me.

  Even from this distance, I saw Jaxson’s eyes darken to that same color I saw when he was inside me and I was tightening around him. It was intoxicating, exciting, and dangerous.

  It was the right kind of wrong.

  As I continued dancing and watching him watch us, my mind wandered off to somewhere I never thought it could go. I imagined him, me, and for the love of every holy God out there, Miles.

  Not that they would ever do anything together, and there wasn’t anything wrong with those that did that kind of stuff, to each their own, but the thought of what it would feel like having Jaxson and Miles at the same time sent me overboard.

  I could feel how wet I was at just the thought.

  The song ended and another came on, but we stopped dancing. I looked away from Jaxson as Danny pulled me back toward the bar and we took our same seats. She grabbed her beer and took a sip before she looked at me.

  “Feeling anything yet?” she asked.

  I laughed once; the buzz had fogged up my mind pretty damn good. “Yep.”

  She rolled her eyes and then started scanning the crowd. I leaned over the counter and grabbed the bottle of whisky, not even caring that Rachel was all the way on the other side. I wasn’t going to wait on her as I took the top off and poured myself another shot. Danny noticed what I was doing and laughed as I leaned back over the counter to place the whisky back where it had been.

  I grabbed my shot and threw it back as the whisky clouded my mind even more. This time, I felt my body tilt backward and Danny reached out to steady me.

  “Whoa, I think you’ve had enough,” she said.

  I started laughing like a crazy person as I held onto the bar to keep myself from falling over. The room had begun to spin a little while ago, so taking another shot hadn’t helped matters any. I could still feel Danny’s hand on my back as she helped to steady me.

  “Ok, yeah, you’re done,” she said and then started looking around the bar.

  I stopped laughing and looked around, “Who are you looking for?” I asked, but I was pretty sure I had slurred the words into one sentence.

  Damn, she
was right.

  I was gone.

  I stared laughing again at the thought, because to my messed-up mind, the thought of me being totally wasted was funny as hell.

  “Danny, I’m so fucked,” I said through my laughter.

  She nodded, still looking around the bar, “I know.”

  “Who are you looking for?” I asked again as I laid my head down on the cool countertop to help with the dizziness that had hit me.

  “Help,” she said and then stood up, “I’ll be right back.”

  Somewhere deep down, I wanted to scream at her to at least leave Jaxson out of this, but in the state of mind I was in right now, I couldn’t seem to speak the words. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply through my nose as I tried to contain myself.

  “Ray wake up… open your eyes,” I heard Danny’s voice and blinked my eyes open.

  I had no idea how long I had been there before she came back. As my eyes worked to adjust to the images I was seeing, I could barely make out Kevin’s large frame and understand his voice.

  “Damn, what did you do to her?” he asked.

  I was assuming he wasn’t talking to me, so I didn’t respond.

  “I didn’t do anything. She did it to herself,” Danny said.

  “The last time I seen Ray as drunk as this, it was at Rachel’s birthday party and Miles was getting lucky,” Kevin said.

  “Uh Kevin, bringing up Miles probably isn’t the wisest plan. I think he’s the reason she is this drunk,” Danny said.

  “Oh, right,” Kevin responded.

  I heard them, but I didn’t comprehend anything they said. It felt like hours, but it was probably only seconds when I felt my body being moved as he grabbed one of my arms, putting it around his shoulders. I groaned as he put one of his arms under my legs, and another arm behind my back.

  He lifted me easily off the barstool, cradling me like a baby. My head flopped against his shoulder as my eyes drifted shut again and I felt myself being carried through the bar. It felt like forever before I was able to feel the cool air hit my skin. The music from inside lowered, which told me that we were outside now.