The Thetas

by Shawn James

  I chuckle at the revelation and glance at watch as we approach the French doors. 7:15. Sweat pours down my forehead, and my T–shirt is soaked through. I’m feeling so good I can go another lap. But I think Dean Mother Dr. Reed is done with me for the morning.

  “We’re not gonna go another lap?” I pant as I catch my breath.

  “It’s your first day. We’re not going to overdo it.” Dean Mother Dr. Reed replies. “Let me see your hands.”

  I show her my palms. “No swelling, so your heart is healthy. We can do a little bit more tomorrow. Why don’t you go get showered and changed for breakfast.”

  “See you in the dining room.”

  Chapter 29

  I rush through the kitchen and up the stairs glowing. Man, I never felt this good after a workout at the Equinox gym. Something about working with Dr. Angela Reed makes exercise fun. I can’t wait to work with her again tomorrow.

  I make my way into the suite to find Marcia and Abigail’s sheets pulled back. They must still be working out; I don’t hear anyone in the bathroom. I quickly get showered and changed into a red double–breasted suit and white heels and hurry downstairs. I arrive in the dining room at 8:28 where I’m met by everyone with a smile.

  “Good Morning Colleen.” Grand Mother Flowers greets.

  “Good Morning Grand Mother Flowers, Sisters, and Dean Mothers.” I reply.

  “Wow. What a formal greeting.” Dean Mother Carver says “And so full of energy.”

  I guess I’ve still got that runner’s high. “I feel energized Dean Mother Carver. That run really woke me up.”

  After Grand Mother Flowers sits down and we all take seats at the Breakfast table. I light up when I smell the aroma of waffles in the air. My anticipation turns to disappointment when Rosa places a bowl in front of me. I should have known it was coming. For every moment of joy at the Theta House there’s twice as much pain. And I’m about to endure it ingesting the first meal of the day.

  “This is my breakfast?” I inquire.

  “Yes.” Dean Mother Dr. Reed says. “Plain Oatmeal is a great way to start the day.”

  “But it’s the weekend. Can’t I get some waffles?”

  “Oatmeal fills you up and has only a hundred fifty calories.” Dean Mother Dr. Reed advises. “If we’re going to get your weight down and build up your muscles, you’re going to have to start eating right.”

  Well, they did promise Daddy they’d take care of me. And me being a little heavy, they probably want me to start eating healthy. It’s still a screw job watching everyone enjoying waffles, while I have to chug down a bowl of Oats.

  Rosa approaches me and places a banana on my plate next to my bowl of oatmeal. “Oh I forgot your banana.”

  Oatmeal and a banana. Insult to injury. What a way to start my day off.

  Chapter 30

  I manage to get the oatmeal down with the help of the banana and a nice big glass of orange juice. The breakfast is good for me. Unfortunately, I still feel like crap from the swerve. I don’t feel it’s fair that I have to eat oatmeal while everyone else enjoys waffles.

  I hide my disappointment behind a smile as I slide up out of my seat and head out in the hall pondering what I’ll do for the rest of the day. Too dressed up to sleep, and not much to do around here except watch daytime TV. I think I’ll go upstairs and start studying the Theta Manual for that test that’s coming up.

  I hear the clop of high heels behind me. “Colleen, are you okay?” Dean Mother Dr. Reed inquires.

  “I’m fine.” I sigh.

  “You seemed a little cross after you were served. Were disappointed with your breakfast?”

  With no secrets here I better just come out with it. “Yeah, I’m a little pissed about the Oatmeal.”

  “It’s good for you–”

  “Everyone else had waffles–”

  “Everyone else is at a healthy weight.”

  “Come on, it’s Friday–”

  “And we’ve been here since Tuesday getting ready to take care of you. Don’t you think we deserve a treat?”

  “Yeah. But it just feels like a big letdown from this morning.”

  “Letdown?”

  “Come on, we did all this awesome bonding. I’m feeling good about working out, and then everything comes crashing down with the breakfast of champions.”

  “I’m sorry you weren’t happy with your breakfast. But we’re trying to get you started on eating right like the rest of us.”

  “So you guys eat like this all the time?”

  “Six days a week. This was our cheat day. You used yours yesterday when you had your cheeseburger and shake.”

  Nuts. It’s my fault again. I should have asked about how they ate meals around here before I had my little meltdown. With a nutritionist planning all the meals there probably isn’t much room for delicious high–sugar high–fat–high–cholesterol Soul Food on the Menu. “I guess I got upset over nothing. I’m sorry.”

  “I understand. The way we eat is a major change to get used to.”

  “Guess you get a lot of tantrums from other pledges.”

  “Some of them lose it worse than you have.” Dean Mother Dr. Reed laughs. I’ve actually had to deal with full–blown rage from some Pledges.”

  “And if I had lost it like that–”

  “You’d be washing all the breakfast dishes and cleaning the kitchen for the rest of your time here like they did.”

  Ouch. And I though Daddy’s punishments were rough back in the day. “…Maybe I could put some fruit in my oatmeal next time?”

  “I’ll tell Rosa to have more fresh fruit out on the breakfast table next time.”

  As Dean Mother Dr. Reed and I work things out, Grand Mother Flowers steps out into the hall and approaches us. “Colleen, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine Grand Mother Flowers.”

  “Good. I wanted to show you around the Estate.”

  Chapter 31

  Dr. Reed Returns to the dining room and Grand Mother Flowers takes me further down the hall.

  “So what was the hubbub about?”

  “Me being a brat.” I reply.

  “I love how you’re acknowledging your shortcomings. It shows growth.”

  “I’ve been doing a lot of that these last few days.”

  “You’re realizing how spoiled you are.”

  “Being raised by my father alone I am a bit of a daddy’s girl.”

  “We’ll break you out of that.”

  “Does everything here have to be so painful?”

  “If it didn’t hurt you wouldn’t learn anything.”

  We reach the end of the hall and approach a staircase. As Grand Mother Flowers leads me down stairs to a pair of metal doors. She pushes past them and we step onto the polished floors of a gymnasium with a full basketball court.

  “I don’t think we have enough people here for a squad.”

  “We have enough for three-on-three.”

  “Are you proposing a game of Sisters against Dean Mothers?”

  “I’m the referee. We’ll put it on the schedule.”

  I also notice red paint around the gym floor “Can we jog around the court?”

  “That’s what the red space is for. We usually run around here when it rains.”

  The clop of our heels echo in the We make our way to the far end of the Basketball court. Grand Mother Flowers opens a red painted door in the corner and step into a workout gym about the size of the gymnasium. There are several treadmills and Stairmasters in the corner, and a circuit training weight system across the room. There’s an open space in the center surrounded by mirrors. I’m assuming that’s for aerobics.

  “Looks like you’ve got all the equipment for training.”

  “And Dr. Reed has a very good aerobic program.”

  Grand Mother Flowers leads me over to a door next to the weight machines, we head up the stairs which take us back upstairs to the hall. I spot the TV in the lounge as we head back through the hall an
d turn the corner into a familiar hallway. We approach the tall doors of the room I was examined in. She opens them and I’m surprised to see the ballroom decorated with a huge sparkling crystal chandelier and white curtains on the windows and black marble tiles on the floor.

  “What happened to the Black curtains?”

  “That’s how we decorate the room for privacy when we examine Pledges. But for now it’ll be used for parties.”

  “Like Slipdress Sunday?”

  “That’s an outdoor event.” Grand Mother Flowers says. “But we’ll be having a party here in a few weeks.”

  “Slipdress Sunday, Bikini Saturday, Why do we have so many parties?”

  “Why not? You’ve got to learn how to socialize Colleen. This is how you’re going to meet many of the people in our network.”

  Looks like the parties have a purpose like everything else around here. From what I’ve read ninety–five percent of jobs are gained through contacts and these parties are probably a way of meeting the important people in our circle.

  “By introducing yourself to people at these parties you’re going to have an opportunity to leave a lasting first impression on many of the Black Elite.”

  “You sound like My Aunt.”

  “Oh, she was something else when she pledged. Almost made my hair as white as it is now.”

  My eyes light up on the revelation. “You were there when she pledged?”

  Grand Mother Flowers smiles at me. “Unfortunately. She almost didn’t make the examination. And I almost didn’t survive the experience.”

  “And why didn’t she make it?”

  “Let’s just say she didn’t meet the Theta standard for Virtues.”

  I’m going to have to file that tidbit of information in my memory. The next time she comes to me telling me about how perfect and upstanding she was when she was younger, I’m gonna let her know that she’s just like everyone else.

  “Aunt Margaret was–”

  “Let’s just say she wasn’t a virgin when she pledged. Oh, and she violated the house rules on July 4, 1960.”

  “What’d she do?”

  “She said she was going to the movies. But after she got into town, she met up with a gentleman for some carnal relations. Carnal relations I caught her in the act of performing on said gentleman’s anatomy with her mouth in the parking lot when I was coming out of the ten o’clock show.”

  My eyes grow wide. “Aunt Margaret was a freak!”

  “A big one. When we tried her in the Circle of Shame we found out she’d been doing this secretly with several other gentleman since she was sixteen.”

  “A trial for having oral sex? You guys take a strict stance on sex-”

  “No, we don’t have an issue with sex within the confines of marriage. Masturbation is fine here, but fornication is a sin clearly stated in The Bible and we won’t tolerate it among our members.”

  “Why do you promote Masturbation then?”

  “A woman’s body is a Temple of God. It is to be kept pure for her husband. However, part of a healthy single person’s experiences is to explore their body and to know what it feels like sexually. They can do this exploration alone and not commit any transgression because they have not become one with a man. Fornication on the other hand is the willful and intentional violation of God’s law where two people join their bodies together through sexual intercourse without the institution of marriage.”

  There’s never been a policy in The Bible regarding masturbation, but their explanation of sexual conduct for a Sister sounds fair regarding Theta affairs. As a Christian organization, they wouldn’t promote or support premarital sex among Sisters. I’d think Aunt Margaret would know better than to do this while pledging.

  “But it sounds like Aunt Margaret committed a flagrant violation of the Theta Oath. Why didn’t you didn’t just kick her out?”

  “She begged us to keep her, promising not to do it again in a crying fit. She said she didn’t want to disgrace her family. And with her being Alma’s firstborn daughter, we felt sorry for her. So we gave her a second chance.”

  “Sounds like you practiced some good old Christian forgiveness.”

  “While we forgave her, Margaret’s transgression couldn’t go without punishment.” Grand Mother Flowers continues.

  Grand Mother Flowers walks me over to wall where a large oak paddle with the Theta symbol inscribed on it in gold. I would not want to get smacked with that thing, it looks like it could put a bruise on a backside a dishrag won’t wipe off.

  “I take it old hickory here was used to implement her punishment.”

  “She took twenty whacks in front of all the Theta Sisters and Dean Mothers. There was a lot of crying. A lot.”

  “Oh, to be a fly on that wall.”

  “After that Sister Margaret became one of the most moral and upstanding Theta Sisters. So moral and upstanding that she sometimes takes it too far.”

  “…And now I know why she became a prim proper snob.”

  “You could say we beat the whore out of her that night.”

  “Just like you Tasered the feminist out of me.”

  “Are you going to keep bringing that up?”

  I give her a look. “You smile every time I mention it.”

  Grand Mother Flowers snickers. “I take pride in knowing that I was part of one of the defining moments of your life.”

  Aunt Margaret is two years older than Mom. I have to wonder if she was a Dean Mother when she pledged too.

  “Were you a Dean Mother when my Mom pledged too?”

  Grand Mother Flowers eyes light up. “Yes, I was. Now Millie was a Pledge who was an exemplary caliber. Whatever we threw at her she took like a champ. She was a pretty good sport about things like you are.”

  “I’m guessing that’s why she has a portrait in the vestibule.”

  “She earned that for all her years of service as a Dean Mother. We were going to present it to her here, but she passed away a month before we could have the ceremony.”

  “And yours is–”

  “Being painted right now.” My picture will be hung right next to your mother’s.

  I knew she was going to get one! “You’d deserve it after working with so many pledges.”

  “I deserve it for putting up with Margaret in 1960. But I feel the work I did with your mother and your aunt shaped their lives the way your grandmother helped shape mine.”

  So my grandmother was your Dean Mother?”

  “Yes. And I’ll be happy to say all the values she trained me with in 1940 I’m passing on to you.”

  Wow. I knew my family went far back with The Thetas, but to hear that she was taught by my grandmother and then took what she learned from her to teach my mother and aunt touches me. This sisterhood in a way is like a real family, passing on its values and traditions from one generation to the next. I wonder what contributions I’ll make to the sisterhood in the future. Providing I survive the experience in one piece.

  “And do you have someone I’ll be passing on our stories to?”

  “I’ve got two granddaughters in middle school right now. I’m hoping you’ll be there for them the way I was for you and your family.”

  Oh I’m going to be there for them. I don’t care where I am I’m stopping my life to come back here when they pledge. Both of those brats are going to be in for the shock of their lives. Dean Mother Anderson the second will see to that.

  Grand Mother Flowers notices my wicked grin. “I know what you’re thinking.”

  Crap, I keep forgetting there are no secrets here. “You know what I’m going to do to them in a few years.”

  “The youngest one could learn a little humility. Her father’s been spoiling her too much.”

  Grand Mother Flowers grabs my sleeve. “Come. I want to show you something else on the premises.”

  I let her take me out of the ballroom to the main hall. She leads me through the main hall out to the vestibule and through the front door and down the
steps. We pause at the walkway near front lawn where Grand Mother Flowers slips off her heels and steps on the grass with her bare feet.

  “You’re going to have to take those heels off for me to show you what I want to show you.”

  “These are Gucci heels. I just don’t want to leave them.”

  “This estate is enclosed by a wrought iron fence. No one is going to take your shoes.”

  When in the Theta House do as the Thetas do. I ease off my white heels and place them next to her black ones on the bottom step. I wish we had some of this back in New York; the manicured grass of the front lawn feels like plush green carpet between my toes.

  I inhale the sweet dew in the morning air and relax. Grand Mother Flowers smiles at me as we walk across the lawn to see her surprise on the front yard.

  “Is this your first time walking barefoot on grass?”

  “Yeah. As a Native New Yorker I don’t take off my shoes in public. Ever.”

  “Doesn’t Jack own a home in the Hamptons?”

  “He does. But I haven’t been there since I was seven.”

  “He and Mille used to love that place.”

  “I guess it hurts for him to go there. Too many memories of Mom.”

  “He used to have many great parties out there during the summer back in the day before you were born.”

  “So you knew my mother outside of Theta affairs?”

  “We stayed close after she became a Sister. So close I was even a bridesmaid at her wedding to your father.”

  There’s a revelation I didn’t expect to hear. Man, they must have been very good friends. I wonder what drove them apart.

  “So why didn’t you stay in touch with Daddy?”

  “I still talk to your father.”

  “He never tells me about you–”

  “That’s because you never asked.”

  “That’s true. Daddy has so many phone calls at the house I don’t even try to figure it out who is who when I pick up the phone. I just transfer it over to his office.”

  “Jack is still a good friend of mine. He wanted me to put in a word for you at Spelman-”

  “But I decided to go to NYU.”

  “And you missed out on a great opportunity.”

  “I would have considered Spelman, but I was tired of all–girls schools. High school was a clambake and after spending four years dealing with White chicks and their nonsense, I didn’t want to spend four years dealing with Black chicks and their nonsense.”