The Fairy Trail

by Catherine Ras

  “So why did she marry him?”

  Her aunt smiled. “You really can’t figure that one out?”

  Maggie took another bite of her food. When she was finished chewing, she sat back in her chair and shook her head at the irony of the answer. “She got pregnant.”

  “Our parents were so excited, but Dolores wanted to put you up for adoption. They called your father’s parents and told them about the pregnancy.”

  “She must have been royally pissed off.”

  Aunt Agnes smiled. “She was…royally. She threatened to run off, have the baby, and give it away. Our parents and his parents forced them to marry. They kept them under their thumb until you were born, thinking when your mom saw you, she’d want to keep you.”

  “But she didn’t, did she?”

  “They thought she did. She acted like it.”

  “So what happened?”

  “I don’t really know. I left for college, and whenever I called home, at first mom talked about how cute you were and how much you were growing. Later when I asked, she would say you were fine.

  “One day, she said Dolores and Johnnie up and left, and she wouldn’t say any more about it. When I came home from college, I found out my parents didn’t know where your family went. It destroyed them. Later that year, mom died of a heart attack. Dad died a few months later.”

  “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.”

  “They weren’t the healthiest of people. They ate lots of fried food, smoked like chimneys, and drank like fish. They weren’t alcoholics, although if I allow myself to really think about it, they probably were.”

  “Did my mom know her mom and dad had died?”

  “I had no way of telling her. No one knew where they had gone.”

  “So you had to go through that all alone.”

  “It’s okay Mags. I had some family and friends. Anyway, it was four years later when Dolores contacted me. Out of the blue, she invited me to your fifth year birthday party. She didn’t ask about our parents so I didn’t tell her until I saw her.”

  “She must have been so upset that she didn’t stay in touch.”

  Aunt Agnes got up from the table and took her dish to the sink. Looking out the window, she said, “Your mom didn’t flinch when I told her. All she said was, “Served them right.”

  She turned around and leaned against the sink. Meeting her niece’s eyes, she said, “Your mother felt she was forced into this life by her own mother and father. She never forgave them.”

  “Well, it explains a lot, but it doesn’t relinquish her from her own guilt.”

  “Aw, honey. I think she did the best she could. They both did.”

  “No, Aunt Agnes, they didn’t.”

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Maggie helped her aunt clean up from dinner. They loaded the dishwasher and stored the left- overs in the refrigerator. All the while their conversation stayed away from Maggie’s parents’ methods of child rearing.

  Aunt Agnes was drying a pot when Maggie noticed a playful look on her face. She smiled at Maggie.

  “What?”

  “I have a surprise for you. I’ve been dying to show it to you, but I wanted to make sure you had something to eat first.”

  “Aunt Agnes, please, you don’t need to….”

  “I don’t need to. You’re right, but I want to. Put the cup down. Come with me.”

  Maggie did as she was told and followed her out of the kitchen. Aunt Agnes kept turning around to look at Maggie, each time her face buzzing with anticipation of Maggie’s reaction when she showed her the surprise. But, Maggie wasn’t ready to allow her aunt’s enthusiasm to get to her.

  They made their way up the stairs and down the hall to the third bedroom that her parents used as a “catch all” room. Whenever the door opened, the room acted like a catcher’s mitt, snaring everything that was tossed inside.

  “What’s going on?” Maggie asked.

  They walked by her parents’ room where the door was closed. Maggie moved by it in slow motions, staring at the door, waiting for it to open at the speed of light and her angry mother standing there spewing commands and insults.

  But the door didn’t open. It couldn’t. The funeral was tomorrow, and the door would stay closed.

  She was shaken out of her trance when her aunt stopped her in front of the “catch all” room. Her smile was broad, and excitement gushed out of her.

  As she opened the door, she said, “I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries.”

  That statement worried Maggie, so she took a deep breath to ready herself for whatever her aunt had done and stepped into the room.

  When her eyes fell upon the sight, she slowly let out the breath and turned in a slow circle taking in the transformation.

  All the junk was gone. The room was now a nursery done in mild shades of green and yellow. There was everything one would need to introduce a tiny life into the world—a crib, changing table, dresser, and a rocker.

  Maggie touched her face. It was wet. She kept her back to her aunt so she couldn’t see the tears. “You did this…for me?”

  “I…I hope it’s okay. I know we haven’t spoken much about the baby and what your plans are…and, oh, I’m sorry, maybe you aren’t going to keep it. Oh, I’m….”

  Maggie whirled around and took her aunt in her arms. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I could never give the baby up. I was planning to make it work somehow. I hoped I’d be a better mother.” She began to cry.

  Aunt Agnes held on to her, stroking her hair and speaking soothing words of encouragement. She waited for her niece to finish crying.

  After a few minutes, Maggie gently pulled away and took in the room once again, the corners of her lips upturning to meet the stream of water on her cheeks.

  “When did you do this?”

  “I did a little here and there whenever you went out or were sleeping. The furniture came today while you were out. I hope you like it.”

  “Oh, Aunt Agnes, I love it.” For the first time since Maggie knew she was pregnant, she put her hand on her stomach. “I know he or she will too.”

  She walked over to the window and looked out. One major decision had been made. Maybe she could do this on her own without the fairies—just with a little help from her aunt.

  “Are you okay, honey?”

  Without turning away from the window, she spoke. “I don’t know who the father is. At first, I wanted it to be Mike. Someone I dated briefly in high school, then we met up again in New York. I shouldn’t have taken up with him again, but I thought he was different, that he had grown up.”

  “What happened?”

  “I think it was me who needed to grow up. I could go into all kinds of theories as to why I stuck with him.” She turned her head to look at her aunt, “And believe me, I’ve gone through all of them.” She looked back out the window. “I’m not proud of what I did—drinking, drugs.” She looked out of the corner of her eye to see her aunt’s expression, but nothing had changed to alarm Maggie that her aunt was mortified with her behavior.

  “He would take me to a friend’s apartment and we would party. I never remembered anything after the first drink.” She turned around and leaned back against the window sill. “I think there was something in the drink.”

  The alarmed look on her aunt’s face made her hurry on.

  “I wasn’t the only girl there, but the last time, I didn’t drink what I was given. I only drank soda. I hid in the bathroom most of the night. When I came out, a full blown orgy was going on.”

  “Oh, my girl,” her aunt cried out and started to approach Maggie who put her hand up to stop her.

  “It’s okay. I got out, ended all communication with Mike, got sober, kept my job and went on auditions. When I realized I was pregnant, I ignored it. I didn’t want to face it because I had no idea what I was going to do.”

  She pushed away from the window and stood up straight. Looking around the room, she said, “So, this…this made me realize I
knew what I was going to do all along. I just needed a little push.”

  She hadn’t noticed how tense her aunt’s body had been until she saw it slacken.

  “Thank you, Aunt Agnes.”

  For the first time in a long time, Maggie felt loved by someone. She only hoped it was real.

  The next morning, Maggie put on a simple pair of black pants with an olive green shirt and a black jacket to hide her pregnancy. She walked arm and arm into the funeral home with her aunt who wore a plain, black dress.

  Maggie kept her head down, but out of the corner of her eyes, she saw people she didn’t recognize sitting in the straight back chairs lined in rows facing the coffin where her mother lay. But as her aunt led her to their seats, faces began to focus in Maggie’s eyes.

  She saw Erin sitting next to Leena, Barty and Tess. Each one of them cast a loving, sympathetic look in her direction, filling her heart with a little bit of comfort. Until that moment, she didn’t realize how much these people meant to her.

  She glanced at the chair next to where her aunt was to sit and saw a tall, slim, dark-haired man with a matching mustache. She recognized him from her aunt’s description. It had to be Tony—the man she said was the love of her life.

  She wondered what that felt like. Almost every emotion she had ever felt in her life was negative. The few times she had experienced what she thought was love turned out to be a mockery of the sentiment.

  True to that statement was the presence of Jennifer, Ali, and Bella who was sitting next to Mike.

  Maggie began to choke violently as the reality of Bella and Mike’s appearance at her mother’s funeral took shape. She grasped at her jacket and pulled it tighter around her as she ran out of the room in tumultuous panic. She needed to go to the woods. She needed the fairies.

  When she yanked on the door to leave the funeral home, she felt a hand grasp her arm and tug her back. She turned sharply to see it was Tony who was holding on to her. She tried to shake her arm loose, but his grip was firm, and this brought on a bout of panic. Just as she was about to scream and punch him with her free hand Aunt Agnes stepped in between them.

  “Let her go, Tony.”

  He paused for a second.

  “It’s okay. Let her go.”

  He did as he was told.

  Maggie rubbed her arm and glared at the man. “Who the hell are you to touch me like that?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “Agnes asked me….”

  Aunt Agnes put her hand up at the same time locking her eyes on Maggie’s face. “I asked him to stop you because I wasn’t going to catch up to you in these damn heels.”

  “He still shouldn’t have grabbed me like that.”

  “You shouldn’t have left your mother’s funeral like that.”

  “Why? What did she ever do for me?”

  Aunt Agnes took Maggie’s hands in hers. “She was still your mother. You owe her that respect.”

  Maggie chortled. “Really? Giving birth is what makes you get respected? I’ll remember that.” Maggie turned and opened the door.

  “Margaret Beatrice Smith.”

  She whirled around at her mother’s voice, but only Aunt Agnes stood there. Tony was gone. She didn’t know how to react or what to say, but at that moment, she felt all the anger, the sadness, disappointments and most of all her own shame and remorse leave her heart.

  “Beatrice? Did you make that up?” Maggie smiled.

  “That’s your middle name.”

  “My mother never used it.”

  “It was our mother’s name, your grandmother.”

  “Was she a good mother?”

  “She had her faults, but not bad as mothers go.”

  Maggie looked away. When she looked back at her aunt, there were tears in her eyes. “Did you see who was in there?” she choked out.

  “I wasn’t looking, honey, so I don’t know who you’re referring to.”

  “Mike.” She looked away again. “And Bella.”

  Her aunt sighed. “That’s why you ran.”

  “That’s why I ran.” When she faced her aunt, there was pleading in her eyes. “He can’t know.”

  Aunt Agnes pulled Maggie’s jacket closed and buttoned the middle button. She then smoothed the material with her hands. “Then he won’t.”

  They looked up to see Tony coming back toward them, carrying a black coat. Aunt Agnes took it from him and put it on Maggie. It was large enough to hide her belly. Then she wiped Maggie’s tears with a Kleenex.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Maggie looked at Tony. His smile was warm and gentle making her feel bad for the way she treated him. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Shall we get back inside?”

  Maggie took her aunt’s arm and walked with her back into the parlor room with Tony following.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  “How long are you going to stay?”

  “Until I know you’re okay.”

  “I’m okay and Tony is waiting for you.”

  “Maggie, he’s waited this long to find me and I him. We can wait a little longer.”

  “What will it take for you to think I’m okay?”

  Aunt Agnes got up from the kitchen table and poured herself another cup of coffee. “You need to be able to support yourself, to take care of you and your baby. The money your mother left you won’t last very long after everything is paid off.”

  “But I’ll have the house. That will be paid off, right?”

  “We can either pay it off or you can keep the money and continue to pay the mortgage…or sell it.”

  “I’m not going back to New York. It’s just not going to work.” She rubbed her protruding stomach. “Not with this little one. Leena told me at the funeral I could come back and work for her. I’ve thought about it, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

  “What about your education?”

  “At this time I’m not sure anymore what I want to do. I’ve been looking into on-line colleges and possible careers. I’ve got time to figure it out. Once I have the baby and get a routine down, I’ll start taking on-line courses to get a degree in whatever I decide to do.”

  Aunt Agnes sat down. She studied her niece, trying to hide a smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m so proud of you, but what changed?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Since you got home, you’ve been so full of negative emotions, and you’ve seemed so, so….”

  “Lost?”

  “Yes.”

  “I was, and I’m not saying I’m still not. But…,” she leaned forward and covered her aunt’s hand with her own, “I’m okay. Really. And I can do this. Go home to Tony.”

  “On one condition.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “That I come back to be with you for the birth and to help afterwards.”

  “Okay….”

  “And I’m not leaving until everything is settled with your mom’s estate, and I’m sure you’re settled.”

  “That’s three things.”

  Aunt Agnes smiled. “And I’ll help you fix up the house however you want before I leave.”

  “Now you’re over your limit. I have plenty of time to redecorate or do whatever I want with the house. I’m in no hurry.”

  “Fine. Then are we in agreement?”

  “Okay, but I’ll have you know I’m going to start working next week.”

  “Then we’ll get things wrapped up this week. We’ll do anything you want done on the house, and I’ll leave at the end of next week when I know you’re tolerating work okay.”

  “I’ll hold you to that. If you stay much longer, the baby will be here.” They both laughed.

  Aunt Agnes did as she promised, going with Maggie to the lawyers to go over the will and make decisions about what was left. After her mother’s bills were paid, everything was left to Maggie. There wasn’t much, but it was enough for her to pay off the house and give herself a little cushion to live
on until she made enough with her new job. She also kept a little money to make repairs needed on and in the house.

  Her aunt helped her do some dry wall repairs and painting with Maggie wondering why her father never repaired them. The holes ranged in size from nail to fist. When she saw the larger holes, her memory travelled back to the moments of loud banging and yelling. She imagined her father’s fist going through the wall—or maybe her mother.

  As she slapped some paint on the wall covering one of the reminders of her parents’ tumultuous relationship, the doorbell rang. She didn’t run down to answer it because she knew Aunt Agnes was in the kitchen cleaning brushes.

  She didn’t like being in her parents’ room, and she hoped when she turned it into an office/storage room, it wouldn’t shout her the past at her.

  “I didn’t know you were a Maggie-of-all trades.”

  Her head snapped toward the door, not recognizing the voice at first, but as soon as she saw the figure, different memories flooded her head—ones mixed with happiness and sadness.

  Maggie put the brush down on top of the paint can, and before she realized what she was doing, stood up facing Charlie. The look on Charlie’s face made her turn around to face the wall, flustered and wondering how she was going to get out of the situation.

  “Maggie? Maggie, please turn around.”

  There was no hiding it now. She slowly moved to face the first woman she ever loved…and lost.

  “Charlie, to what do I owe this pleasure?” As soon as she said it, she laughed at the reserved silliness of her statement. “I’m sorry. It really is good to see you.”

  “I’m so sorry about your mother. I tried to get back, but I was out of the country.”

  Maggie shifted her weight. “Out of the country? Impressive.”

  “Um, yeah, well, I was studying abroad.”

  “Really. What were you studying?”

  “International finance.”

  “Okay, now I’m really impressed.”