Home for the Holidays: Mr Frosty Pants, Mr Naughty List

by Leta Blake

  Joel had texted Casey from the Starbucks on his way home asking if he wanted anything, but Casey had said no. Joel had picked up a box of decent instant coffee for the next morning and some iced snowmen cookies for dessert, it was still Christmas after all, and a splurge to fight his nicotine craving seemed fair. But he hadn’t eaten them yet.

  “I’m plenty hungry.” He grinned, taking a kiss from Casey, his heart warm and his blood pumping happily. “This is good. Coming home to you. I could get used to it.”

  Casey’s smile softened, and he nuzzled Joel’s hair briefly before turning back to the kitchen. “Don’t want to burn the meat.”

  Joel followed him in and sat at the table. Bruno begged at Casey’s feet while he pan-fried burgers.

  “I made an extra one to cut up for Bruno’s bowl,” Casey said, looking down at Bruno fondly. “He’ll like that.”

  “Keep that up, and he’ll like you better than me before long.”

  Casey took the burgers off the heat, pulling buns out of a package and roasted potatoes from the oven, and plating them all. He cleared his throat anxiously. “Yeah, well, it looks like he won’t have time to get used to me before I have to go.”

  Joel went cold as a wave of disappointment crashed down. This was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? It was why he’d gone to Casey’s dad today. So why was he regretting that now?

  “They forgave you?” What a weird way to put it, like being with Joel was something that required absolution, but they both knew it was true.

  “I don’t know about that. But they’re letting me return to NYU to graduate and keep my apartment for the next semester. They’re also not going to fight me on whether or not I go to Wharton this fall. They say that’s up to me. So long as I understand that Christmas a year from now they expect me to be self-sufficient if I’m not going to follow their wishes.” Casey sat the plates on the table and took a seat.

  Joel swallowed, staring down at the burger and potatoes on his plate. “Do ‘their wishes’ include breaking up with me?”

  “No. Just school.”

  “Ah. So, you have half a year to get on your feet if you don’t go?”

  “Exactly. But I already know what I want to do and with your help—between the books and Vreeland’s—I’ll have some success under my belt to help draw in new clients.” He smiled broadly, putting a potato piece into his mouth. “I’m going to open my own local marketing firm. Hipster-sized at first: just me, myself, and I. But who knows what might happen? That’ll allow me to do what I love most: work with mom-and-pop stores and participate in the growth of the community. It’ll be perfect.”

  “And your dad was on board with that?”

  “In a way.” Casey shrugged, getting up to grab two beers from the fridge. He popped the lids and handed one to Joel. “He even suggested I talk to Walker Ronson about my plans since we hit it off as friends.”

  “I bet he did.”

  Casey’s eyes grew tender and reassuring as he took his seat again. “I think he really understands that I’m not interested in anyone but you, Joel. He gets it now. And even if he didn’t, I’m absolutely not interested in Walker. Period.”

  Joel darted his gaze away, staring at the snow melting on the floor from his boots. Heat rose through him, embarrassment at having revealed his jealousy and insecurity. He took a pull from his beer bottle. “What makes you think your dad gets it?”

  Casey smirked. “Because I made a massive scene today, said everything I’ve needed to say for a long time, and I made sure he heard me. Loud and clear. He knows now that I love you and that you’re not going anywhere.” His chest puffed up. “I gave him the ultimatum this time: It’s me and Joel, or it’s not me at all. Mom was basically calling you her second son by the time the conversation was over in hopes of pleasing me.” Casey sounded a little power-drunk.

  Joel chewed on his bottom lip, watching Casey dig into the burger hungrily. He thought of his own father and how he’d never come away from any of their conversations feeling powerful. Not even their last one. “Wow. I, uh, guess you’re a pretty persuasive person. Speaking from experience and all.”

  “I suggested we all needed some space still, and Mom wasn’t wild about that, but she conceded to it.” Casey gestured at Joel’s plate. “Eat up.”

  Joel took a bite of the burger. It was so good he closed his eyes. When he opened them, Casey was smiling at him.

  “Then, after all the yelling and crying was over, we exchanged gifts and had a small family Christmas. I told them goodbye and that I’d call them when I got back to my apartment in New York. Between now and when I leave on January first, I want all my time to be devoted to you.”

  Joel’s heart kicked, and he swallowed another swig of beer. “I want to spend that time with you too, but I have to work.”

  “I know, and because of you, I have work to do as well. Today I got a lot accomplished before I headed over to my folks’ place.” He fed a potato piece to Bruno, who sat at his feet drooling. “Operation New-Covers-and-Blurbs is complete. I believe that alone will make a difference in your sales, but now we have to increase visibility on your back catalog. Tomorrow I’m going to start soliciting various book review sites. Then it’s time to work on Joel Grimsbane’s social media presence.”

  Joel crinkled his nose.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep that simple for you. But you can see I have a ton to do. I won’t be bored while you’re at Vreeland’s.”

  “Twenty-five percent of any increase in profit seems like too little to pay you for all that you’re doing.” He ate more of the burger, hoping to cover up how much he wanted Casey’s dream to come true. After all, it was what he’d bet against with Jonathan Stevens, and, boy, did he want to lose.

  “I’ve told you before, it’s for my semester project. And I want to do it. I’m excited to do it. In some ways, I’ll get more out of it than you do. I promise.”

  “You always were kind of a nerd about this stuff.”

  “And you believed you weren’t worthy of people helping you, of being loved even, but you’re wrong.” Casey’s brows lowered, and he spoke seriously, like he wanted his words to penetrate to Joel’s core.

  Joel’s palms grew sweaty. He didn’t know what to say, so he kept quiet, drinking more beer and popping a potato wedge into his mouth.

  “My dad told me you came by his office,” Casey said seriously. He scrubbed a hand through his hair and then pushed his plate back, apparently done. “He told me you don’t have any faith in us lasting and that I’ve put in all my chips on the table for someone who didn’t have what it takes to pony up with their own. Those were his exact words.”

  Joel’s mouth went dry, anger shooting through him along with a hot, messy sense of humiliation. He shoved his own plate away. He should have known Jonathan Stevens wouldn’t keep their conversation a secret. He just hadn’t realized exactly the way Jonathan would try to use it against him. “I gave you my mom’s ring,” Joel pointed out. “I promised to be here whenever you come back. I’m committed.”

  “But you don’t think I’m going to stick around.” Casey’s eyes flashed hurt. “Dad said you were adamant that he should let me graduate from NYU, and not cut me off financially, because ‘this will die a natural death.’”

  “I…” Joel didn’t have any defense for himself. It was true. He’d said those things, but no part of him believed them. “I did say that, but Casey—”

  “And you know what’s hilarious? He was offended on my behalf.” Casey snorted, shaking his head. “He was more offended than I was, to be honest.”

  Joel scrunched down in his seat.

  “Do you know why I’m not offended?” Casey asked, sliding down to kneel on the floor by Joel’s feet. Bruno scooted away to make room for him there. Casey tilted Joel’s chin up, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Because, unlike my dad, I know you, and I realize your fear has nothing to do with me or how you feel about me. It’s all about that self-loathing we talked about.”
>
  Joel whispered, “The one you said should be focused on my smoking?”

  “That was dumb of me and I apologize.”

  “You’ve been in therapy too long, man.” Joel shook his chin free of Casey’s grasp. He wanted out of this conversation now before Casey said something that made him split wide open, that broke him down, the way rimming or fucking broke him down. “I was lying to your dad. I do believe in us, Casey. I just wanted him to send you to New York for your last semester. That’s all. I’m a liar, Casey. I tell lies when I think it can help.”

  “Maybe. And maybe you’re lying to me right now. I don’t really care either way, Joel.”

  “You don’t?”

  “No. The only way I can change your belief about us is to prove it to you.”

  Joel croaked, “How will you do that?”

  “By not leaving you.” Casey’s eyes bored into him.

  “You have to graduate. I want you to.”

  Casey smiled. “I mean by not leaving you emotionally. Yeah, I have to go back to NYU for a few months, but I’ll fly down to visit some weekends and during Spring Break. You can always come up to see me, too.” He touched Joel’s lower lip with the pad of his thumb. “And I’ll text and FaceTime every day. I’ll fly you up for my graduation, and you’ll see my apartment before I give it up. I’ll show you the city.”

  “You always make me want to believe in your dreams, Casey.”

  “You make me believe in yours, too. You dream in books and writing and in fantasies about the log house you’re going to build here on your land. You’re not alone in your dreams, Joel. You’re a living, breathing, striving human being, and I believe in you. I believe in us.”

  “I believe you. I do. But—”

  “But nothing. It’s been four years we’ve been apart, and nothing about how I feel about you has changed for me. I don’t see why it ever would.”

  “It’s early days,” Joel muttered. “Give it a minute.”

  “I’m planning to give it multiple decades, actually.”

  Joel scoffed, but tears pricked his eyes. Christ, he’d never been such a crybaby as he’d been this week. “I guess I’ll let you prove it to me, then.”

  “I will.” He kissed Joel’s chin and then sat back on his heels. “By the way, I hear you and my dad made a bet.”

  Joel rolled his eyes.

  “I’m making a bet, too. I bet we’ll be together next Christmas, and the one after that, and the one after that, and for dozens of Christmases to come. And, if I’m right, then for every Christmas we’re still together, you have to kneel in front of me and say aloud that you’re sorry you doubted me. You’ll have to say that you know I’ll love you until I die.”

  Joel snorted. “That’s absurd. I never doubted you. Not really.”

  “And then you’ll have to give me a blow job.”

  “Right after I say those things?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh.” Joel shivered, his cock taking interest.

  “You like that?”

  Joel grumbled, “Maybe.”

  “I thought you would.” Casey stood up and put out his hand. “In the meantime, I’d like to seal this bet. Shake on it.”

  Joel reluctantly took Casey’s hand and shook.

  “And now I want to make love to you.”

  Joel rolled his eyes. Who even said “make love to you” anymore? Casey Stevens, that was who. And it made Joel’s insides quiver.

  “I need to shower first.”

  “Go ahead then.” Casey started back toward Joel’s room, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be waiting because I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I’m not either,” Joel said. “And I believe you.”

  He’d never believed anyone more.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Market Square was full of people, lots of them happy and many of them drunk. Joel stood next to Casey with his hands stuffed into his pockets, his eyes directed up to the big, round ball of light dangling from a crane above the small stage at one end of the square. The snow had melted for the most part days before, but there were still some clumps of it here and there. Combined with the pile from the ice rink, there was plenty of “snow” for some teens to make snowballs to threaten each other with.

  Pop music played over speakers spaced around the square, and a countdown clock was displayed on a big screen behind the MC from a local radio station, who periodically interrupted the revelry to announce the time left until midnight.

  It was a festive atmosphere, and Joel felt loose and merry himself, having allowed Casey to buy him a few rosemary lemon drops at Tupelo Honey. But beneath it all, he felt a little sad too.

  Casey was leaving the next day. And while Joel absolutely believed in the promises Casey had made to him and he felt secure in his place in Casey’s life, the reality was that only time would tell.

  “There you are!” Becca cried, popping up beside him with a happy cry. She wore purple eye makeup that perfectly matched her lipstick and the scarf around her neck. Her red wool coat covered her legs, but she wore stompy, high-heeled boots that made her almost as tall as Joel for once.

  He hugged her, and Casey came in for a hug too.

  “Long time, no see. I missed you, Bec. Wow, you look gorgeous,” Casey said, grinning. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

  “We didn’t make it to the New Year.” Becca popped one of her brows. “But that’s okay. Guess who did make it?”

  “Who?”

  She pulled out her phone and pushed a few buttons. Leaning over her shoulder, with Casey leaning over his, they spotted RJ’s face, nostrils first, on the screen. He appeared to be in a hotel room. It was loud and crowded in Market Square to do a group FaceTime, but Joel’s heart warmed up at the sight of his old friend, a sense of familiarity washing over him.

  Greetings were exchanged, and Joel listened while Becca, RJ, and Casey chatted. He threw in his own comments now and again, but, for the most part, he just enjoyed being part of something bigger than himself for a few minutes. The sensation of belonging was unfamiliar and something he didn’t want to let himself take for granted.

  RJ was apparently somewhere in Germany playing for a group called Pearl Necklace, and it was basically morning there. He’d been up all night partying after their New Year’s Eve gig, and he looked haggard but happy. Casey and Becca shouted questions to him over the noise of the crowd, but sometimes the reception froze and they missed what he had to say in reply.

  Joel put his arm around Casey and leaned in, taking a deep breath of his scent in the warmth emanating from the skin above his soft, plaid scarf.

  “So, I’m thinking this time next year, I’ll be ready for a break,” RJ said, glancing over his shoulder as the hotel room door opened and a skinny, long-haired dude walked in wearing nothing but a towel. RJ gave him an up-nod before turning back to the screen. “What do you say? December of next year, if we’re all in Knoxville, we can get together and play a few gigs. Get the band back together.”

  Joel snorted. “I sold my bass. I have a few guitars, though.”

  “You can play rhythm, then.”

  “What about Casey?” Becca asked.

  “It’s the triangle for him,” RJ said, laughing.

  “Nah, I’ll make sure there’s an audience for the shows,” Casey said. “Marketing is my specialty.”

  Joel shrugged. “I could be in practice by then, probably.”

  The conversation grew impossible to follow in all the hubbub, and Joel closed his eyes, feeling the jostle of the crowd around them. He held tight to Casey, enjoying the vibration of his laughter against his own body. He wondered what his pop was doing. Was Charlie asleep or was he struggling to stay awake to watch the Rockin’ New Year’s Eve on TV like he had when Joel was a kid?

  Joel let himself drift back into his memory, touching a few old ones, including the one of his dad dancing his mom around in the kitchen. It ached like pushing on a bruise, but he took a deep breath, opened his e
yes, and let Charlie and the past wash away with the murmur and rumble of the crowd.

  “One minute to midnight, y’all!” the MC called out, his deep voice amplified over the crowd. “Bring on the new year!’

  They disconnected with RJ and crowded together. Casey and Joel with Becca next to them and all their eyes affixed to the glowing ball as it jiggled and started its slow descent.

  “I can’t believe I’m here with you,” Casey said in his ear, his hot breath tingling, making Joel shiver. “This is going to be our year, baby. The best one ever. I promise.”

  Joel shuddered. Promises like that were foolish, but he had one of his own to make too. “I promise that I’ll be here waiting for you, even if it isn’t.”

  Casey took off his glove, the silver ring on his finger glinting in the holiday lights. He gripped Joel’s chin as the crowd started shouting the final countdown. Joel didn’t look at the ball any longer, content to stare into the lights reflected in Casey’s eyes. He put his arms around Casey’s neck, and as the cries of “Happy New Year!” filled the air, he surged up to meet Casey’s kiss.

  Whoops and hollers rose around him. Becca’s screams of delight were close by and piercing, and yet he let the kiss go on. The joy of a new beginning rattled through him, and he gripped Casey’s lapels, dragging him down for a deeper kiss. Who gave a damn if people were watching? Let them all see.

  When the strains of “Auld Lang Syne” gave way to “Rocky Top,” he broke loose and grinned at Casey, who stared back down at him with a face full of joy.

  Tomorrow might not be a great day. Saying goodbye to Casey before he flew back to New York City was going to be tough. And trusting that Casey’s interest in him would last once he was alone again would be even harder, but he had faith. He believed in Casey. In them.

  Right now, Joel had the boy of his dreams in his arms, his best friend shouting with joy beside him, and a whole new year coming his way.

  Right now, life was good.

  Epilogue