The Better Mom Devotional

by Ruth Schwenk

  Do you need to make friendship more of a priority? Is there someone you need to seek out for wisdom, encouragement, or just companionship? Be careful of trying to be a mom on your own! You weren’t meant to go it alone. Friends are an incredible gift. God uses relationships to help us become better not just at what we are doing, but also better at who we are becoming.

  Lord, thank You for the gift of friends. Help me be more intentional about nurturing my friendships. Guide me to those women I should seek out to learn from and to those I can be a friend to. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What is the biggest obstacle keeping you from deeper friendships right now?

  • Is there a friend or even an acquaintance you can encourage, pray for, or call today?

  Hiding God’s Word in Your Heart

  I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

  —PSALM 119:11

  If you ask my husband, he would tell you our closet could double as a store. Over the years I have accumulated a fair number of shoes, purses, scarves, and accessories. The truth is, I could live without them. There is something far more valuable the Bible tells us to treasure or store up.

  In Psalm 119:11, the writer reminded us of the importance of storing and treasuring God’s Word in our hearts. He has made room and stored up the most valuable resource there is—God’s truth and promises.

  We hide God’s Word in our hearts as we read it, meditate on it, memorize it, cling to it, pray it, and sing it. We store it in our hearts because it gives us strength. It protects us. Sustains us. Convicts us. And it also is one of the primary ways God is making us better, more like Christ (Romans 12:2).

  In the busyness and messiness of motherhood, it’s easy to forget what is most important. We can let daily tasks get in the way of feeding on our daily bread. What our hearts need most is to be filled with what lasts. We need the power and truth of God’s Word to keep us going and to guard us from sin.

  What will you fill your heart with today? What will you treasure? What will you make room to store up? Whatever you do, make it a priority to hide God’s Word in your heart!

  Father, I believe that You are the God who speaks. You have made Yourself known to me through Your Word. Would You comfort me, strengthen me, convict me, and guide me as I store Your words in my heart? Give me ears to hear You and strength to obey You today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • In what ways do you need to hide God’s Word right now?

  • What is one verse or passage you can store in your heart today?

  Showing Honor in Your Marriage

  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

  —ROMANS 12:10

  I’ll never forget walking down the aisle on our wedding day and seeing Patrick waiting for me. We walked into the church separately that day, but we took our first steps as a married couple as we walked out together. And walking down the aisle was the easiest part of walking through life together. Real challenges come, and that’s why we need reminders to stay committed and be careful with each other as the years go by.

  The Bible says we are to “be devoted to one another in love.” We are to be prone to affection for, committed to, and holding fast to our spouses. And not only that, but we are to “honor one another,” putting our spouses before ourselves. Sadly, we don’t always cherish each other as we should.

  Showing honor involves committing to respect each other. Being gentle with our words. Elevating, not degrading, each other. Seeking to protect our intimacy. Showing grace. And always fighting for and not against each other. We are to handle our spouses with care, treating our husbands as the gifts from God and the treasures they actually are. Honoring each other means using our differences, not to compete with one another, but to complement one another.

  How are you honoring your husband? Do you cherish him with your words, attitude, and actions? Today, ask God to give you and your husband the heart to honor each other in your marriage. Ask for an increasing desire to do what is best for the other. Stick together. Be devoted. Honor and cherish each other just as God cherishes you!

  Father, help me truly respect my husband. Help me watch my words, guard my heart, and be mindful of my actions. Holy Spirit, empower me to build up, not tear down, my husband. Help us to fight for, and not against, each other. May the love You have for us be the kind of love we express to each other. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What is the biggest obstacle to your showing honor to your husband?

  • What is one way you can honor your husband? If you’re not sure, ask him.

  Say Goodbye to the Perfect Home

  Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

  —ROMANS 12:13

  When I heard the doorbell ring, I was immediately terrified. We were eating dinner as a family, so I quickly peeked out the window to see who was there. When I saw several friends who had stopped by unexpectedly, my heart sank. You see, my home was a complete mess, and I really didn’t want them to see it that way.

  “Come on in,” I said sheepishly. Secretly, I was hoping they were just passing by and that a quick hello and goodbye would be enough. I was more than happy to see them, but not so thrilled at the thought of their seeing flustered me and my not-so-picture-perfect home. I had been gone all day. Laundry was piled in the family room. Toys littered the hallway. Dinner, along with its remnants, was clearly visible on—and under—the table.

  But to my surprise, what started out with my uncomfortable invitation to come in turned into an important revelation for me. I discovered that my presence is far more important than the perfect home. What makes a home is not the brick and mortar or whether it’s spotless or stylish. What makes a home is the presence of the people who live there.

  For many years of being a mom, I was nervous about opening our home to others because I was afraid it wasn’t big enough, and I certainly couldn’t have it cleaned up enough. I mistakenly thought my home had to be perfect before I could practice hospitality.

  Do you struggle to invite people to your house? Are you nervous about what someone might think of your home? Don’t let your idea of perfection keep you from inviting people in. Remember that your presence is far more valuable to them than the perfect home.

  Father, help me get over my fear of what others think about my home or about me. Instead, help me welcome others into my home and focus on being fully present with my guests. Teach me to open the door to the home You have given me so I can love, serve, and bless others. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • In this messy mission of motherhood, how have you let your idea of perfection keep you from investing in other people?

  • How can you begin to let go of your idea of the perfect home and invite others in?

  Words Matter

  Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.

  —PROVERBS 20:15

  How would you describe the tone of your home? Is the atmosphere tense? Are people noisy or argumentative? Or is the tone peaceful and encouraging? The truth is, it’s probably a combination of any or all of the above at different times!

  Whether we like it or not, we moms are most often the ones who set the tone of the home. And our words are one of the primary ways we do that.

  The Bible has a lot to say about our words. When God spoke in the beginning, His words brought life, light, and beauty. Just as God’s words have power, so do ours. One way we reflect who God is to those around us is by our words.

  Every day we can choose to use words that bring encouragement, truth, and hope. Or we can speak words that cause hurt, division, and confusion. As moms, we do more than just communicate information to our kids; the words we speak shape young hearts. So God wants us to be careful with how we wield the enormous power of our words.

  The Bible also reminds us that our words reveal what is in our hearts. If a tree isn’t producing fruit, the problem is in the root system. Our real
struggle with words is actually a problem with our hearts.

  What kind of tone are you setting in your home with your words? Are you speaking life, truth, and encouragement to those around you? Today, make a decision to do exactly that. Ask God to change your words by changing your heart.

  Lord, You are a God who speaks. When You communicate, You do so with love, truth, and power. Help my words reflect who You are. Change me from the inside out. Use my words to bring life, joy, peace, and truth to my home. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What do your words most often reveal about your heart?

  • How can you begin to change the tone of your home today by changing your words?

  Expecting Progress, Not Perfection

  Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

  —1 THESSALONIANS 5:14

  Are your expectations for your kids too high? Is the bar set so high that only Jesus could actually succeed?

  It’s okay to have high standards for our kids. We should call them to live up to all that God has for them and desires for them. But expecting too much, too soon, can be unhealthy for our kids and unhealthy for us as well. Instead, we should be patient, focusing on progress, not perfection.

  Unrealistic expectations may leave our kids feeling deflated and defeated. Our desire for perfection teaches our kids that they are loved only when they are performing well. Just as we do, our kids are going to make mistakes. They’re going to choose foolishly instead of wisely. At times they’ll listen to our coaching or counsel, but many times they won’t. Our kids are still in the process of growing up.

  The Bible reminds us that there is a time to warn, challenge, encourage, help, instruct, and even discipline. Our goal is not just to raise good kids; our goal is to raise kids who will love Jesus and love the world. But this calling is not entirely ours. The same grace that saved us is the same grace that will grip our kids’ hearts. It is God’s goodness and not our great parenting that ultimately changes our kids’ hearts. We have a part to play, for sure. But remaining patient with our kids allows us to do our part while trusting God to do His.

  So keep loving and teaching your kids. Don’t become complacent. Be realistic. Be patient. Remember who is at work in and through your parenting.

  Father, thank You for being patient with me. Help me love and care for my kids in a way that is patient, kind, and wise. Remind me that perfection is found only in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • Are there areas where you expect too much from your kids?

  • How can you be more patient, focusing on progress instead of perfection?

  Our Strong God

  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

  —GENESIS 1:1–2

  From its first lines, the Bible tells us that we have a God who is the Almighty! He is not a pushover. He is clothed with strength and glory. That is what Elohim, the very first name of God in the Bible, means. The names of God throughout the Bible tell us something special about His character and His identity.

  Genesis 1:1 tells us, “In the beginning God [Elohim] created the heavens and the earth.” This name of God is used more than two thousand times in the Bible.1 And guess how many times you’ll find it in Genesis 1? Thirty-two times!

  The Bible starts with God. He is our Creator and Sustainer. We are not alone in the world. God created us to be in relationship with Him and to live for Him. He is our strong and powerful heavenly Father. He is the King who reigns and rules over all of His creation. He is our Protector and Provider.

  Are you struggling to make it as a mom? Are you worried or anxious about the future? Remember, your powerful God is in charge. You and I are limited in our power and wisdom, but He is not. He is Elohim—the Almighty! There is nothing you are facing today that He cannot match with His presence and power.

  Father, I praise You for Your strength and might. Nothing takes You by surprise. The world is not out of control. You are a good Father, but also a powerful King over all of creation. Help me trust You, relying on Your strength and not my own. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • The first Hebrew name of God we find in the Old Testament is Elohim. What is significant about this name of God being used so many times in Genesis 1?

  • For what aspect of parenting do you need to remember and rely on God’s power, not your own?

  The Hard Places That Make Us Holy

  Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart. . . . He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

  —DEUTERONOMY 8:2–3

  The word holy sounds intimidating, but it simply means to be set apart. When God commanded us to be holy, He means we are to be set apart from sin and set apart for Him. He loves us, pursues us, and saves us, and He desires to continue the work of setting us apart from sin. To say it another way, God wants each of us to grow up and become more mature—more like Christ.

  One of the ways He does this work in us is through the hard places of life—and that includes parenting. In fact, God is using parenting to make us holy. God will often lead us to hard places to make us more like Him.

  We’d all probably like to fast-forward through trials. Sometimes in the hard places it feels as if God is taking things away from us when He’s actually giving us a good gift: He’s teaching us to depend on Him. To trust Him. To rely on Him. He causes us to hunger and thirst for Him, but then He feeds us with what we need most. God gives us the gift of Himself.

  The hardest places can often be the holiest places—the spaces where God does some of His greatest work. Will you let Him do the heart work even when it is in a hard place? Will you keep trusting Him, obeying Him, and seeking Him even when it is difficult?

  Father, my greatest need is knowing and treasuring You. I want to surrender to You, not resist You. Fill me with Your Spirit and help me grow, becoming more holy, even when life is hard. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • Why are hard places necessary for your growth and maturity?

  • As you are raising your kids, how is God using motherhood to make you more like Christ?

  Rooted in God’s Love

  We love because he first loved us.

  —1 JOHN 4:19

  As I get older I have come to appreciate more and more the true value of friendship. I can’t imagine life without my dear friends who encourage me and challenge me in many ways. But as much as I love and cherish my friends, they were never meant to fill a void that only God can. A healthy friendship blossoms when two people first root themselves in God’s love for them. Simply put, friendships are a beautiful gift but a terrible god.

  As we seek to build and maintain God-honoring friendships during this busy season of motherhood, we need to be sure we’re rooted in God’s love. We do that by getting alone with God often. Spending time in His Word. Meditating on what He has done for us. Cherishing His promises. Receiving the love He longs to lavish on us. Allowing His acceptance and approval of us to ground us and grow us.

  Why is being rooted in God’s love so important in friendship? Because then we won’t look to our friends for the kind of love and approval only God can give us. Furthermore, the more we root our lives in God’s love, the more freely we will be able to give our love to our friends.

  So be a good friend. But most importantly, seek love from God first. Rest in His unconditional and unwavering approval. The more you receive and experience His love, the more you’ll be able to give it to others!

  Father, I want to know and experience the love You have for me in Christ. Help me rest in Your approval and acceptance. Help me trust that Your opinion of me never changes, and remind me that only You can completely satisfy me. Yo
u meet all of my needs. Pour out Your Spirit in my heart today so that I might love those around me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What is one way you can look to God first for love, even before turning to a friend?

  • How can you—as a godly friend—encourage your friend to also seek God first??

  Learning to Pray

  Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.”

  —LUKE 11:1 ESV

  Asking for help doesn’t come easily to me. Just ask my husband! I’d rather try to figure it out, wrestle with a problem for a while, before I reach out in need. It’s one thing to take this approach when you’re trying to put together a new desk from IKEA and quite another when you’re trying to shape souls. That’s why in the messy and beautiful mission of parenthood, we need to ask for help. At its core, this is what prayer is all about.

  We begin to pray when we come to the end of ourselves. We cry out to God as we realize that we aren’t God. Lacking His wisdom, strength, and resources, we recognize our need for help. So we pray, and we pray often. It’s something we all have to learn to do because it’s much easier, if not more natural, to be self-sufficient—or at least to pretend we are.

  I love that the disciples went to Jesus and said, “Teach us to pray.” For years, I read that verse as if it said, “Teach us how to pray.” Certainly, that was part of what Jesus’ first followers were asking. But for so many of us moms, we need to learn to pray before we learn how to pray. The mission of being a mom is too big and too important for us to try to pull off on our own. We learn how to pray only after we discover that we need to pray.