The Better Mom Devotional

by Ruth Schwenk

  • If there is someone you need to forgive, what is one step you can take today to extend forgiveness?

  Hope That Will Not Disappoint

  “I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

  —ISAIAH 49:23

  Have you ever noticed that it is much easier to live at the beginning of something than it is to live in the middle? Whether it is in a sport, relationship, activity, or even motherhood, we often start out with great enthusiasm. But then the race gets longer. The friendship gets rockier. Or we discover being a mom isn’t all grins and giggles. We hit the middle. We discover that living faithfully in the middle can be really difficult.

  It is often in the middle when we need the most hope. Hope that we are not alone. Hope that things are not really out of control. Hope that God is still good, powerful, and at work, even if we can’t always see it. We need the assurance that God is for us and with us. We need to remember that the middle has an ending, and God will once again dwell with us, heal us, and fully restore us.

  In his letter to the Romans, the apostle Paul explained that our hope is not merely wishful thinking (8:32). The assurance of our hope is found in the fact that God gave His Son. Our hope is secure because Jesus was crucified and resurrected for us. This hope is enough to keep us going, even in the middle. Hope will not disappoint.

  When you need encouragement to keep going, when it’s just so hard that you are tempted to give up, allow Christ to be the hope that keeps you going in the middle.

  Father, thank You for the reminder that You are a God of hope. All things are possible with You. You are with me and for me. You have given me Your Son. All that is His is mine. Help me keep going, remaining faithful in the middle. Teach me to parent with great hope today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • Why is it often harder to be faithful in the middle than at the beginning?

  • How can hope fuel your parenting or marriage?

  The Real Value of Solitude

  After [Jesus] had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.

  —MATTHEW 14:23

  I am a doer, and nothing is more satisfying for a doer than being able to check things off a to-do list. While this trait enables me to accomplish a lot and stay focused, there is definitely a downside.

  We live in a world that is all about doing. We crave productivity. Getting things done fast is important. We can begin to define our success by how productive we’ve been. Success is all too often defined as activity—doing. There’s the danger for us.

  If anyone ever had demands in life, if anyone was ever under pressure, under stress, or had a lot to do, it was Jesus. And yet when we look at Jesus’ life, we notice that doing was not His only concern. In fact, we see that disengagement from people was just as important to Jesus’ ministry as engagement.

  Jesus often slipped away to be alone. He sought out solitude to pray. To commune with God the Father. He disengaged before starting His public ministry, before making important decisions, after intense ministry, and before going to the cross. Solitude was not just an option for Jesus; it was a necessary source of great strength.

  Are you taking time to be alone? For all of the engaging you do as a mom, are you intentional about disengaging?

  The real value of solitude is that we find strength in getting away and getting alone with God. He speaks to us. Fills us. Refuels us. A life lived for God needs to flow out of a life deeply rooted in Him.

  Father, teach me the value of being alone with You. Help me be intentional about making space to draw near to You. Speak to me, and draw near to me. I want to root my life deeply in You as I seek to live a life for You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What obstacles keep you from practicing the discipline of solitude?

  • How can you begin to be intentional about making time for solitude?

  Humility in Marriage

  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

  —PHILIPPIANS 2:3–4

  We all struggle with the sin of pride. If we’re honest, most of us live as if we’re the center of the universe. And marriage doesn’t take away our pride; marriage usually magnifies it. Our own selfishness becomes even more pronounced because we find ourselves bumping up against someone else’s pride.

  In order for Jesus to become greater in our marriages, we need to become less. In Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, God is working to cultivate in us the fruit of humility. Humility exchanges “me” for “you.” Humility doesn’t mean demeaning yourself; rather, it is choosing to elevate others.

  As Paul wrote in today’s verses, we aren’t to be concerned about only our own needs and desires; we are to consider the needs and desires of others. Humility helps us to listen, be patient, and see our spouses’ perspectives; to be quick to confess when we are wrong; and to sacrificially serve our spouses instead of our ourselves.

  Has “selfish ambition” crept into your marriage? Is pride often at the center of your conflict? Then look at the example of Jesus, who came to sacrificially serve. Though He could have, Jesus did not live a “me-centered” life. Live humbly, as He did. Say no to your pride. Today, pray that God would give you an other-centered marriage. A marriage that is growing in humility instead of pride.

  Father, forgive me for my pride and selfishness in marriage. Thank You for the example of Jesus, who came in humility to serve us and save us. Help me truly seek to serve my husband’s needs and desires. Turn us away from ourselves, and turn us toward each other in love and humility. Give us grace to think less of ourselves and more of each other. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • Where do you see selfish ambition at work in your marriage?

  • What are specific ways you can look to the interests of your spouse? What is one way you can value your husband above yourself today?

  The Changing Seasons of Motherhood

  There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

  —ECCLESIASTES 3:1

  Every season of the year is different from the others, and the seasons of motherhood are no exception. We moms will have seasons of weeping and laughing, giving and receiving, planting and uprooting, speaking and being silent.

  When our family of two became a family of three, my husband and I quickly discovered we were entering into a very different season of life. As our family grew, each child brought new joys but also new challenges. One of the most significant challenges for me was the realization that I couldn’t do it all anymore!

  I was working full-time. I was also involved in ministry at our local church, serving with my husband in a variety of ways. I was having an impact on my world, and I loved it. But with a growing family, my world was changing. Instead of late nights with teenagers from our student ministry, I was nurturing our kids. Instead of serving each week on our worship team, I was getting kids ready and hoping to make it to church on time!

  Every family is different, and every season in a family’s life together is different. But just because we move into different seasons, sometimes with limitations, doesn’t mean we lose having an impact on our world. Living with limits doesn’t meaning living less or having less of an impact.

  So embrace the season you are in now. Don’t be afraid to say no. Get creative about how you might engage in work or ministry during this unique season. Most of all, give yourself fully and wholly wherever you are. Each season is different but no less important. You can still have an impact on the world, no matter what season you are in!

  Father, I know You have me exactly where You want me. Help me not to minimize this season, but to fully embrace it. Teach me where I need to guard my heart and family. I want to make the most of every season, using it to love You and love others. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What has been the biggest adjustment in
this season of parenting?

  • Are there things you need to say no to for now so you can embrace the season you are in?

  Our Greatest Need

  When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

  —MARK 2:5–7

  What would you say your greatest need is right now? If you could ask Jesus to do anything for you, what would it be? In Mark 2, we discover that what we often ask Jesus for is not always what we actually need most. This is what a paralyzed man and the four friends who lowered him through a roof to get to Jesus found out.

  The people who had gathered to hear Jesus teach filled the house to overflowing, so much so that the paralyzed man’s friends couldn’t get him inside in the typical way—through the door. Instead, they had to get up on the roof, make an opening, and lower him at Jesus’ feet. We don’t read anything about Jesus’ reaction to the damaged house; instead, Jesus seemed less concerned about the house and more concerned about the paralyzed man’s needs.

  Even more surprising is Jesus’ diagnosis. You might expect Jesus to immediately heal the man of his inability to walk. But instead, Jesus’ first words were, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” This man went to Jesus for what he wanted, the ability to walk. But Jesus gave him what he needed most: a clean heart.

  Our greatest need is the need to be forgiven. At the cross, Jesus made forgiveness possible, free, and final.

  Have you gone to Jesus for what you need most? If so, are you continuing to allow Him, through the power of His Spirit, to help you turn from your sin? Pray boldly for healing. Keep asking in faith. Jesus came to give us life and life to the full.

  Father, thank You for meeting my greatest need—forgiveness—at the cross. You want me to come to You for life; yet, I know my sin steals that life You offer. Search me and know me. Reveal the areas of my heart that need forgiveness and healing. And help me live as You would have me to. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What sin patterns have you noticed in your own heart?

  • What sin do you need to ask God to forgive you for?

  A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

  Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

  —1 JOHN 3:18

  I just needed a cup of coffee. It was going to be a long Saturday, full of soccer games, grocery shopping, and homework. As we sat in the drive-through of our local coffee shop, I was calculating how long it would be until I could devour my first cup of coffee of the day. Three cars ahead of us. Two cars. One car. Almost there.

  When we finally pulled up to the window, the ten minutes of waiting in line evaporated with two short words from the barista as she handed me my coffee. As I reached for the coffee with my left hand and handed her my debit card with my right hand, she said, “You’re good.”

  “I’m good?” I said, a bit confused.

  “Yeah, someone paid for your drink. You’re good. Have a nice day!” And a nice day I did have, thanks to an anonymous person’s random act of kindness.

  “Be kind to each other,” Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:32 (NLT). Be “tenderhearted” to those around you. Do good. Be a blessing to the people you interact with. It’s amazing to me how something as simple as a kind act can go a long way. It’s a generous gift. Extend a compliment. Send an unexpected note. Make an encouraging phone call. Smile at strangers.

  We live in a world where people all around us are carrying heavy burdens. People are hurting. Families are broken. God can use a simple act of kindness to spread His love. Who can you show kindness to today?

  Lord, help me have eyes for others. Soften my heart for the people You put in my path. Change me by changing my focus. Give me opportunities today to live with a tender heart, showing kindness to those around me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • In what ways can God transform you by turning your attention to others?

  • What is one way you can show kindness to someone today?

  How to Be a Good Friend

  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

  —LUKE 6:31

  Several years ago I had a friendship “aha” moment. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend when I heard that quiet, sneaky voice in my head whisper, Why didn’t she ask how you’re doing? As that voice grew a little bit louder, my heart was growing a little bit harder. And then God’s voice squashed that thought!

  You see, it’s so easy in friendships to want to find the perfect friend. The friend who always sends us encouraging notes, always asks how we are doing, always reaches out to us first, and always stops by unexpectedly with a gift or dinner. In fact, sometimes we can want the kind of friend we’re not willing to be. And that was my “aha” moment, when God spoke loudly.

  “Do to others,” God reminded me. “Do to others” first what “you would have them do to you.” In other words, I am to be the kind of friend I want my friends to be to me! It’s tempting to wait for friends to take the first step. But Jesus reminds us to take the initiative: become the right kind of friend, and then receive such a friend.

  What if we were more focused on being the right kind of friend first? How different could our friendships be if we spent time growing as a friend rather than waiting to find the perfect friend? Today, begin asking God to help you become the right kind of friend instead of looking for a perfect friend.

  Father, thank You for loving me and saving me by faith in Jesus. I praise You for calling me a friend. You satisfy me and meet all of my needs. Give me grace with my friends. Shift my focus from finding friends to becoming the right kind of friend. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What makes someone a good friend?

  • What is one step you can take today to serve or encourage another friend?

  No Easy Route

  Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks.

  —ECCLESIASTES 10:18

  Let’s be honest. We’d all like parenting to be a lot easier than it really is. But this messy mission is hard work. It’s full of joy and pride, but it’s also full of sweat and tears. Like a lot of truly important things, parenting comes at a cost. This is why when we feel overwhelmed, we have to be careful not to let laziness slip into our hearts and our homes.

  Laziness has rightly been called a “silent killer” because it’s not always easy to spot it in our own lives. Before we go further, let me be clear: laziness is not the same as rest. God definitely doesn’t want us to run on empty. He created us for rest as well as work. In contrast to healthy downtime, laziness is that sneaky tendency to take the easy route. It’s checking out when life’s demands feel too overwhelming. It’s cutting corners and compromising. At times, laziness is choosing the pleasure of serving ourselves instead of the pain of serving God.

  The writer of Ecclesiastes observed that the “rafters” of our hearts and homes begin to sag when we check out of life. Everything we are building and all that God is working graciously through us to accomplish can “leak” when we routinely choose easy over hard.

  We need to be diligent. Wise. Faithful. Willing to suffer and sacrifice.

  God cares about our time. He cares about how we are using our days. He wants us to realize this window of opportunity will not remain open forever. Resist laziness at every corner. Ask God for His grace. Stay dependent on God for His grace, but give yourself diligently to the work He has set before you.

  Father, thank You for my family. Thank You for the joy that comes with this calling. Forgive me for the times when I want this calling to be easier. Guard my heart from checking out or wanting to take the easy route. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I might avoid the dangers of laziness. Teach me to give myself fully, faithfully, and joyfully to my family. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • Where have you been most tempted to be lazy
as a mom?

  • How do you balance work and rest?

  Made Holy

  We have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

  —HEBREWS 10:10

  Marriage is like a magnifying glass. In marriage, what gets magnified are our weaknesses, selfishness, and sinfulness. As we learn to share life and give life, we quickly discover we have a long way to go! Marriage humbles us and helps us grow in holiness. But holiness in marriage is not about our own effort; first and foremost, it is about what Jesus has done for us.

  Holiness is a gift. Jesus died and rose again for us, giving us His holiness. So in the New Testament, we are encouraged to live up to what is already true of us in Christ. We have been forgiven, made pure and clean. Because Jesus has made us holy, we are now called to be holy. Being holy in marriage is no exception!

  The word holy means “set apart.” We are to guard the purity and sacredness of our marriages. We are to protect the intimate bond we have with our spouses, keeping the love we have for each other unblemished, spotless, and clean. We are called to “put off” our old lives (Ephesians 4:22), and crucify our sins. We are encouraged to have the “mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16). A healthy marriage is a holy marriage!

  Today, remember what is already true of you in Christ. Because He has made you holy, pursue holiness. Ask the Father to show you areas where you need to be set apart from sin for the sake of your spouse.

  Father, give me the desire to be holy. I know my husband and I cannot have a healthy and God-honoring marriage without pursuing holiness. Thank You for making me clean and pure in Christ. Now help me live set apart from sin so that I can continue to be set apart for my husband. Guard our marriage. Give us hearts that are broken over sin and that delight in doing what is pure, right, and true. In Jesus’ name, amen.