by Claire Fogel
Copyright 2017 by Claire C. Fogel
All rights reserved except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a data base or retrieval system without prior written permission from the owner/publisher of this book.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
September 2017 First Edition
Printed in the United States of America
Print ISBN: 978-0-9908923-7-3
Digital ISBN: 978-0-9908923-6-6
Editor: Neil Fogel
Cover Design: Alexandre Rito
Formatting by Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC
www.allusiongraphics.com
The Blackthorne Forest Series
Blackthorne Forest, Book 1
Elvenwood, Book 2
The Dragon’s Song, Book 3
The Joining Tree, Book 4
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
My heart was broken. Irrevocably. And yet it was still beating. Stupid heart. It hadn’t gotten the message yet.
When Conor brought me home after I’d spent hours in the forest in total misery, my parents were sitting at the kitchen table wearing worried looks.
Mom asked, “Cara, what’s wrong?”
I couldn’t talk to her. If she hadn’t been so typically overprotective, maybe Adam wouldn’t have left and my heart wouldn’t be broken.
My father reached out for my hand, but I pulled away and ran upstairs to my room. I didn’t want to speak to either one of them.
But as mad as I was at Mom, I was equally mad at Adam Wolfe. He left without even saying goodbye. How could he kiss me like that, totally rocking my world, and then leave the next day without a word to me? I might have been able to talk him out of leaving. But he never gave me the chance.
I could hear Conor’s voice downstairs. I had no idea what he was saying to my parents, but I prayed he wouldn’t tell them that he’d seen Adam kiss me yesterday. No, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t do that. He’d always behaved like an understanding big brother.
I remembered something Conor had said to me a few months ago when I admitted I cared about Adam more than I probably should. Conor had chuckled, saying, “He won’t always be too old for you, you know.” That ten-year age difference wouldn’t be such a big deal when I was twenty, would it?
Couldn’t Adam have waited four years?
I went into my bathroom and ran a bath, throwing in my favorite bath salts. Maybe I could soak my heartache away. I sniffled. There weren’t enough bath salts in the world to take away the pain I was feeling.
After I was in bed, I heard a soft tapping at my bedroom door. It sounded like Mom. I ignored it. My phone had rung a few times after I got out of the bath. Probably Sean, the ex-boyfriend who wanted me back. I ignored that too.
Thankfully, I had a dreamless night. I couldn’t have handled any more pain.
When I went into the bathroom the next morning, I took one look in the mirror and went back to bed. Tinted glasses wouldn’t cut it this time and I really didn’t want to answer any questions about why I looked like crap.
I needed a mental health day, maybe more than one. I wasn’t going back to school until I looked normal. What I’d seen in the mirror was definitely not normal; red, swollen eyes and nose. I looked pathetic. I felt pathetic. I’d been dumped by the only man, or Elf, I’d ever love. I hated him.
Sighing. No, not really.
More taps on my bedroom door. I continued to ignore them. Finally, I heard my father’s deep voice. “Cara, we love you and we’re worried about you. Don’t shut us out.”
I went to the door and opened it a crack. “I need time to myself, Dad. Please leave me alone right now.”
He sighed. I heard his footsteps head downstairs.
I had a lot of thinking to do. The past six months had changed me in so many ways. I didn’t even feel like the same girl, dressed in pink, who’d seen her parents get married two days ago.
Six months of threats, attacks, injuries and fear hadn’t broken my spirit. But in less than twenty-four hours, Adam Wolfe had broken my heart.
I went back to school two days later. When I came downstairs Wednesday morning, Mom asked how I was feeling. She looked worried.
I said I was fine, not hungry, and left.
I didn’t know whether Kevin needed a ride so I drove around the corner and beeped. After a few minutes, he came running out.
“Are you okay, babe?”
“I’m fine, Kev. Need a ride to school?”
“Sure, just give me a minute to gather my books.” He went back inside the house, returning in under two minutes, backpack over his shoulder. Hopping into my front seat, he took one look at me. “I don’t believe you’ve been sick. You’re never sick. What happened?”
I shrugged, not looking at him. “I’m not really ready to talk about it.”
His hand was on my shoulder. I turned and saw the concern in his eyes.
“Kev, just be my friend without asking questions right now, okay?”
After a few seconds, he said, “Okay. But when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”
I nodded and drove to school. I knew I’d be forced to have the same non-conversation with Amy. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Amy never took “no” for an answer.
As for Sean, I wasn’t sure what to say to him. He’d called five times and I hadn’t answered once. There’d be no way to avoid him. He would be sitting next to me in four classes, five days a week.
I groaned inwardly. It might be easier to just drop out of school.
Since I’d skipped breakfast, we were early and I was able to park right in front of the main entrance.
Before I could get out of the car, Kevin said, “Cara, I know what you’ve gone through in the past six months. Maybe it’s all hit you at once, and maybe you’ll never be the girl you used to be. And that’s okay. We’re all shaped by our experiences, the good and the bad, but you and I are still best friends. If you’re hurting, well, I’m hurting too. Don’t shut me out.” The same thing my mother had said.
I sat there for a few minutes, then I nodded. “I know. When I can talk about it, I will.”
He was right about one thing. The past six months had been disastrous in many ways: Arson, shootings, kidnapping, and murder, masterminded by the psychopath who was now in prison. I thought I had been coping fairly well but Adam’s desertion had finished me.
We got out of
the car and walked inside. It was really early. We didn’t find Amy and Sean waiting for us. I wasn’t even sure if that would continue to be our daily routine. But for today, it made this morning easier for me.
“See you at lunch.” I left Kevin and walked down the hall to my first class. I had seen the confused, concerned look on his face. I needed more time. My emotions were too raw. Right now it was too painful to talk about, even to friends who loved me.
I was sitting in Science class, reading the textbook, trying to care about what I’d missed since last week, when Sean walked in. He sat down next to me with a hurt expression on his face.
“You stopped answering your phone, Cara. Or maybe you just stopped taking my calls. What did I do?”
I sighed. This would be harder than I expected.
“You didn’t do anything, Sean. I’m in a bad place right now. I haven’t talked to anybody. I’m not ready to talk. Not even to you.” I touched his arm briefly, to let him know I wasn’t mad at him.
“If you’re really my friend, you won’t ask any questions.” I looked up at him and found him looking confused, as Kevin had.
“All right. But I’m not going anywhere. You can’t chase me away,” he said softly.
I nodded. I really didn’t deserve his devotion.
For my next three classes, he sat next to me silently.
Avoiding Amy’s questions would be impossible, so I went home for lunch. No one was home, which was a relief.
I made a quick sandwich, which tasted like sawdust. Ralph sat at my feet, looking hopeful, so I broke up half the sandwich and put it in his dish. The happy way he attacked it made me smile. After scratching his back for a minute or two, I drank some bottled water and drove back to school.
In Art class, Kevin nodded to me but didn’t say anything. In P.E. we were still doing calisthenics, so I didn’t have to speak to anyone.
Waiting at the main entrance, Kevin walked to my car with me, not saying much.
I thought I was home free, but I should have known better. When we reached my car, Amy was perched on the hood, her blue eyes focused on me like lasers.
“You can’t avoid me, Miss Connelly. Or is it Miss Blackthorne now? No matter, I’m here, I’m your best friend and you will not shut down on me!”
I just stared at her. Today had been a strain, and I was not in a good mood.
Kevin stood behind me with one hand on my shoulder. “Should I take the bus home today?”
I shook my head, still looking at Amy’s irritated face. “I’ll drive you home if someone will get her butt off my car.”
Her eyes narrowed, she slid off the hood, then gave me an annoyed look and hopped into the back seat.
I sighed as Kevin climbed into the front seat. I was still standing next to the car. Apparently, there was no escape from Amy.
I got in the car and drove Kevin home. I knew if I tried to drop off Amy first, she’d refuse to get out of the car.
When I pulled up in front of Kevin’s house, he squeezed my shoulder and said, “It’s gonna be okay, babe, whatever it is.” He nodded at Amy and went in the house.
From the back seat I heard, “We started this conversation on Sunday, Cara, and we will continue it now.” More gently, she added, “Come home with me. We still have a few apple tarts left.”
I didn’t answer her as I drove to her house. When we got there, she leaned over the front seat and said, “I don’t care how bad it is, I’m on your side and I always will be.”
That did it. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and let the tears run down my face.
She climbed over the seat and wrapped her arms around me, leaning her head against mine. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Come on into the house. I’ll grab a few tarts and we’ll go upstairs to my room where it’s quiet and we can talk.”
I nodded and climbed out of the car, meeting Amy on the other side. She took my hand and led me into her house, pointing me up to her room, while she dashed into the kitchen and grabbed a few tarts.
Once back in her bedroom, she handed me a box of tissues before she handed me a tart. “Blow your nose, you’ll feel better.”
After I had a few minutes to blow my nose, wipe my tears and compose myself, she said, “Okay, Cara. You were so happy when you were here Sunday morning. What in the world happened after that?”
After a few long seconds, I nodded. “Amy, I’ll tell you, but this goes no further, okay?” I didn’t want anyone else feeling sorry for me. And that included Kevin and Sean. Although I suspected Sean would probably be relieved when he learned that Adam was gone.
“When I got home from your house Sunday morning, my father said he wanted to speak to me privately.
“He said Adam had left, that he was already gone.” My voice was shaking. “He tried to explain it away by saying that Adam had always been a rolling stone, and now that I no longer needed a bodyguard, he’d decided to move on.”
I felt tears welling up again.
Amy gasped. “Did you think that was the truth?”
“As he saw it, maybe. But I know that wasn’t really the reason. My mother had made such a point of telling Adam how young I am, he must have thought he’d be in real trouble if anyone knew he’d kissed me. His solution to that problem was to leave. And what hurts just as much is that he didn’t even say goodbye to me.”
Amy shook her head, obviously shocked.
“Oh, Cara, I’m so sorry. Your heart must be broken.”
I sniffled. “I don’t think I have a heart anymore. Adam took it with him.”
“Sweetie, it’ll take time, but you’ll get over it eventually.”
She obviously didn’t understand.
“Amy, Elves mate for life. For Elves there are no break ups, no divorce. Look at my parents. All those years apart, and neither one of them ever looked at anyone else. They were mated for life, even though Mom is human and didn’t know about the ‘mated for life’ thing.
“I won’t get over it. I’ve never felt, never dreamed of feeling, what I felt with Adam. And I don’t think I’ll ever feel anything like that again.”
“What? So you think that at sixteen, your love life is over forever?”
I simply nodded.
“Well, boys will still be in your life. I don’t think Sean will ever walk away. When you go to college, or Art School, there will be boys and men everywhere. You don’t think you’ll ever find anyone attractive again?”
“Not like Adam. That was a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. If I tried to describe it to you, you’d never believe it.” I shook my head. “No, I won’t find that again.”
“So are you swearing off the male sex completely?”
“They’re fine as friends, but not for anything else.”
She hesitated, then asked, “Cara, what have you been doing for the past two days?”
“I stayed in my room, refused to talk to my parents. I think I lost five pounds of water just from crying.”
“You have to talk to your folks sometime. They’re probably really worried about you. I sort of understand why you’re holding your mom responsible, but why your dad?”
“My overprotective mother insisted that Dad speak to Adam about my age. I know he didn’t want to. He knew he could trust Adam, but he didn’t argue with her. He just did what she asked and spoke to Adam about how young I was, blah, blah, blah. I told you about that, remember? That conversation took place under my bedroom window. Adam knew I heard them.
“That’s not the only reason I’m mad at him. My father told me he knew Adam had feelings for me, but that he had confidence that Adam would keep those feelings under control because of my age. But when Adam told my dad he was leaving, my father did nothing to talk him out of it. I don’t understand why.”
“Maybe you should ask him that question, Cara.”
“Yeah. Maybe I will.”
“Sweetie, I’ve been hoping we could start having fun during our last year of high school now that Gaynes is in jail. But it doe
sn’t sound like you’ll be enjoying it at all. What are you going to do all year?”
“I’ve given it a lot of thought over the last few days. I’m going to concentrate on my classes and my art. My mother can forget about sending me to a four-year college. All I’ve ever wanted is Art School. From now on, she won’t be making any of my decisions. I will.”
Amy knew I wasn’t in any hurry to go home so she invited me to stay for dinner. Mrs. Strauss had made Wiener Schnitzel, a dish I hadn’t had since the last time I’d had dinner with Amy. It would just be the three of us. Her dad was out at a Chamber of Commerce meeting.
Naturally, their phone rang while we were eating. Mrs. Strauss handed the phone to me.
“Hello? I’m having dinner with Amy and her mom. I’ll be home later. ‘Bye.”
Amy asked, “Is she mad?”
“She didn’t sound mad. Just wanted to know when I’d be home.”
Amy’s mom knew something was wrong. “Cara dear, is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, Mrs. Strauss. Just letting me spend time here is enough. Dinner is great. I really appreciate this.”
“Anytime, dear. Our door is always open, you know.”
Amy’s mom was one of my favorite people. She always seemed to understand, without asking any questions. Unlike my mother.
After we’d finished the Schnitzel, there were more apple tarts. Amy and I cleaned up the kitchen and then we went into the den to do some homework.
When I couldn’t put it off any longer, I gave Amy and her mom hugs and went home.
I sat in my car for a while when I got home. I knew my parents would be waiting for me, and I still didn’t want to talk to them. I just wanted to go up to my room, get into bed, and tune out my miserable life for a few hours.
I looked up when the front door opened and a tall figure came down the steps, heading for my car. Crap. My father wasn’t going to leave me alone.
He opened the passenger door and got in. He didn’t say anything right away and neither did I. Finally, he said in a very soft voice, “You shouldn’t be hurting your mother this way. She’s devoted her life to you. Your behavior has made her cry, Cara.”
