Kat's Nine Lives

by Laina Villeneuve

  “Where?”

  “A bar in Glendale.”

  “Your teenager plays in bars?”

  “Just Aura. It’s this little wine bar. Twice a year the owner helps the music studio with their fundraising. The whole audience is family who clear out long before the real bar crowd. But the kids love being on a proper stage.”

  “I can imagine. It’s a great space.”

  “You know it?” Kat asked.

  “It’s right around the corner from Fairbanks.”

  “Then you have to come! Jack will be there with Ember, and I hate being alone because then I get stuck sitting next to Patrick, and he’ll say something about how maybe we could try harder, like it’s a joke, but it’s not really. Do you know what I mean? I’m babbling because I’m nervous because I want you to go.”

  With all the ideas Kat was throwing at her, Wendy’s mind was spinning to gain traction. “I could probably check it out.”

  Kat quickly replied, “You don’t have to.”

  “I’d like to. I’m sorry. I realize it didn’t sound that way. I was thinking…” She pushed stray curls from her face. It wasn’t her place to ask. She handed the string of lights to Kat. “Do you have a ladder? We should go from the tree to the top of the roof and then run down to the bottom.”

  “You can climb up the side.”

  Wendy crouched to avoid branches and followed a path behind the cottage. She stared dubiously at the stone wall and its one square window set high.

  “You put your hands on the window and climb the stones until your feet are there. Then you can hoist yourself onto the roof.”

  “You could show me,” Wendy said.

  “Afraid of heights, remember?”

  “Yet you know how to climb up on the roof?”

  “Travis used to go up there to freak me out. I think my dad showed him.”

  If a child could climb up, Wendy figured she could as well. It was easier than she thought and in no time she stood on the flat roof with her hands on her hips. “It’s a great view from up here. You sure you don’t want to come up? It’s not that scary.”

  “Who will hand you the lights?”

  “Good point.” Wendy held out her hands. She wedged the strand between two wood shingles at the edge of the roof and did this several times along the roofline, accepting another set of lights halfway along.

  “Are you still thinking about coming to Travis’s show?” Kat asked, fiddling with the next set of lights.

  “What time does he play?”

  “Sometime between three and four.”

  “That should work. I have an event that evening, but I could get started early and step away for an hour. Catch this light at the corner on the bottom, would you? I’ll do the rest from the ground.” Next to Kat again, she ran the lights along the bottom of the roof. “We’ll use that window to run some lights inside, too. I might need some finishing nails to hold them up on the ceiling. Would that be okay?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  While Kat was off looking for tools, Wendy ruminated on the spouse swap Kat had mentioned so offhandedly. She had said she started drumming at her therapist’s urging. That was four years ago, and she’d been divorced for three years. Did that mean she stayed married to Jack for a year while he was sleeping with her best friend? Kat came back with a hammer, nails and a stepladder. “My dad said you’d probably need this.”

  “Worried I’d stand on one of those antique chairs?” Wendy unfolded the ladder and stepped up to look at the rough boards of the ceiling.

  Kat didn’t answer immediately.

  “I’m sorry,” Wendy said. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “Opposite from that. It’s so weird how you seem to know him so well when you’ve just met him.”

  “He’s different, but in a neat way. He’s so formal. Do he and your mom go to see Travis play?”

  “Are you joking? My mother would have to leave the house, and drums are so not classical, so that’s a ‘no’ for my dad. But maybe Patrick’s sister will be there!”

  “And that’s a good thing because…”

  “She’s gay, too. After the spouse swap fiasco, Patrick said maybe I should go out with her. She’s cute and fun, and she could be perfect for you.” Kat’s smile was as bright as the string of lights in front of her.

  “Why would he say that you should go out with her?”

  Kat shrugged. “Because if I don’t want to sleep with men, I must be a lesbian, right?”

  “I’ve heard it’s an option.” Wendy was relieved that Kat smiled.

  “My friends say I should have just slept with Patrick, that it would have saved a lot of heartache.”

  “They don’t sound like friends to me.”

  “Maybe not. You sound like my mom.”

  “Your mom knows about all this?”

  “I know you remember the whole ‘nobody ever died from not having sex’ comment.”

  Wendy laughed and took the opportunity to tap in some nails. “I had actually forgotten about that.”

  “Ugh. I don’t believe that for a second.”

  * * *

  Kat waited for Wendy to press for more like everyone did. Jack. Patrick. Erin. They all wanted her to explain herself, to give a reason for not wanting to sleep with them. If she hadn’t had sex with Jack, she would not have gotten pregnant with Travis. If she hadn’t had Travis, she would not have married Jack. If she had not married Jack, she would not have spent so many years telling herself that she could learn to enjoy sex or that it was something that she could do to keep Jack happy and keep her family intact.

  Lying to herself about whether her happiness mattered.

  Miranda had called her on it. But Kat hadn’t listened.

  She had learned the consequences of pursuing what made you happy.

  She had learned that you make sacrifices for your family.

  But Wendy did not ask. She looped a set of lights around the nails, folded the ladder to set outside and stepped back to admire her work. The more time passed, the harder Kat’s thoughts pushed to be heard. She was curious to hear what an impartial friend would say about why she didn’t want to have sex. Maybe that was the problem, that she could not tell the whole story. Even now, even standing in the cottage that held so much history, she knew she could still not share what made her feel so vulnerable.

  “I was in love with someone else when I married Jack.” Absently, she rubbed the tips of her fingers down her palm, alternating her hands. Again she waited for Wendy to say something, but she didn’t. She thought about her parents and how they had stayed together. She had already become her mother. She absolutely refused to be her father. “It was my true love, but I knew it wouldn’t work. I slept with Jack and got pregnant, and I walked away from what I really wanted and married Jack. That was my chance, and I missed it.”

  She knew it wasn’t an explanation. This was where everyone insisted that people got more chances in life. That’s what Erin had said when Kat maintained they could not be more than friends. But she couldn’t talk about it, especially not now that she was living with her parents again. She had her own family to look after, even if that meant only her and Travis. She wasn’t sure what she expected Wendy to say, but she was not surprised that it took her a moment to respond.

  “You’re saying you couldn’t sleep with Patrick because you’re not in love with him.”

  “That’s a big part of it, yes.”

  Wendy seemed to weigh this and then shrugged. “Sounds reasonable to me. No regrets if you sleep with someone you love, right?”

  Kat held eye contact with Wendy thinking that regret was all she knew. But that wasn’t quite true, since she had Travis. She didn’t regret that. And there were many things she loved about Jack. Again she imagined what her life would have been had she accepted what Miranda offered. She thought she was doing the right thing. It didn’t make sense to regret doing the right thing.

  “Kat?” Wendy’s voice was gentle.


  “I’m sorry. I’ve only ever slept with Jack. I loved him, of course. Your question about regret got me tangled up.”

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  Kat laughed nervously. “Honestly? I’m not sure I even could.”

  “That’s not what I mean. You don’t have to explain. To me or anyone. You’re allowed to do what is right for you because it feels right to you.”

  “Not according to my friends.”

  “I think you need new friends,” Wendy said. “Forget about them and put yourself first.” A bright smile spread across Wendy’s face surprising Kat.

  “What’s that smile for?” Kat asked.

  “You play the drums. Do you know any Go-Go’s?”

  “Of course!”

  Wendy sang, “Pay no mind to what they say.”

  Kat joined on the next line, “It doesn’t matter anyway!” She kept singing and found her own throat tightening at the lyrics that urged her not to cry. She laughed instead. Nothing fixed her sadness as well as eighties tunes. “Come tomorrow. I’ll get Travis and his boys to let me play with them and do that song.”

  “That would be something to see for sure,” she said slipping into eighties lingo.

  They shoved the surplus lights back into one box, Kat feeling lighter than she had in a long time. “You make a good friend. I don’t know why it’s taken so long for me to see that.”

  “Our paths crossed for a reason. I definitely felt that way at the reunion.”

  “And yet it took us years for us to talk about more than work.”

  Wendy shrugged. “This wedding is different.”

  “That it is. I hope I didn’t make a big mistake offering my parents’ house. Guess we’ll see!”

  Chapter Six

  “I’m confused,” Cory said. “Is this a blind date kind of a thing?”

  Though she hadn’t known him when she hired him, with the long hours they had spent working together, he’d become a friend.

  “I don’t think so. Blind dates don’t happen with a whole group of people, do they?”

  “Depends on the group. Who is going to be there?” He asked as he headed into the walk-in fridge.

  Wendy followed Cory to gather the ingredients for fajitas.

  “Kat’s ex-husband, his girlfriend, the girlfriend’s ex-husband and his lesbian sister. And the kids, but they’ll be on stage.”

  “You’re not seeing any red flags in that list?”

  “They’re all there to watch the kids on stage. It’ll be fine.”

  “Are you walking or driving?” Cory asked. He looked pointedly at the clock.

  “Walking.”

  “Go already. I can handle the rest of the cleanup. It’s mostly dishes.”

  “I don’t have to be there right at three. Kat is the only person I know. If I get there too early, it’ll just be awkward.”

  “She’s introducing you to someone who wanted to hook up with her. It’s already going to be awkward.”

  “Which is why I should check with José about the waitstaff for tonight.”

  “Go. I can check in with him. Your nervous energy is tying my stomach up in knots.”

  Wendy flipped through the catering supplies list and instructions for the desserts Cory was going to make later that afternoon.

  “I got it, boss.”

  Grumbling, she washed her hands and went to change out of her chef’s coat before grabbing a light jeans jacket and stowing her ID and cash. Hands deep in her pockets, she walked the three blocks packed with Saturday afternoon shopping traffic to the bar and paid the cover at the top of the stairs. The proprietor was still onstage talking about the budding musicians. Though the place was packed, mostly with parents, Wendy found Kat on her first scan as if drawn by a beacon. She sat at a crowded table at the front of the room to the right of the stage.

  As she wove across the back of the room Wendy kept her eyes on Kat. She’d pulled her hair up into a ponytail and wore an off-the-shoulder gray sweater. Half-dollar-sized white hoops dangled from her earlobes, drawing Wendy’s attention to how much of Kat’s creamy skin was exposed. She was telling a story, her hands flying in front of her, and she had the whole table’s attention. She was as cute as Wendy remembered her being in high school, and Wendy felt the same desire she had back then to grab one of those hands and pull her away from the cluster of people around her who were obviously trying too hard.

  A couple sat with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, alternating between sipping their beer and kissing each other. The ex, Wendy guessed, wondering if he’d had more of a jawline when Kat married him. He looked as if he’d been shaped in clay by a child who added a smaller round ball to a larger one and called it head and torso, His slightly wavy hair fell over his ears and was just a shade or two darker than his pale skin. On the other side of the kissing couple was a taller man. He was dressed much more casually and kept bending over to talk to Kat. He rested his hand on the exposed skin of her shoulder, something that both Wendy and the last woman at the table noticed. The lesbian sister, she guessed by the similar megawatt smile that graced her lips.

  The audience burst into applause and the first group of youngsters slinked on stage. Reluctantly, Wendy used the segue of the band plugging in to approach the table. The lead singer looked to be in her early teens. She nervously chattered about the songs they had chosen, but Wendy had her eyes on Kat waiting to see when she would register her presence.

  Laughing about something the man on her arm said, Kat’s eyes flicked up and found her. Without pause, Kat jumped up and ran to her, embracing her warmly. “I’m so glad you made it!” She quickly ushered Wendy to the table, one hand wrapped familiarly around her forearm. “Are you okay here next to Erin?” she whispered. “I’ll introduce you after they wrap up.”

  Wendy nodded since the band had begun to play and talking was impossible. She smiled at the woman next to her and extended her hand. Erin accepted the gesture and appraised Wendy openly. She leaned in as closely as Kat, and Wendy was enveloped in her perfume. “Kat’s told me all about you.”

  Wendy looked from Erin to Kat. Kat raised a thumb and her eyebrows. Wendy wished she hadn’t, wished that she had made everyone scoot down a seat, so she could sit next to Kat. Erin was gorgeous, a pixie face framed by blond hair just long enough to sweep behind her ear which she did with regularity. She turned in her chair, long sleek legs extended out from a curve-hugging black dress that ended mid-thigh. An exaggerated swing of the top leg brought her gaze back up to Erin’s smile, a smile that said that she was welcome to look.

  They whispered in between songs, and when the first band left the stage, instead of Kat introducing Wendy to the rest of the table, Erin quickly did the honors, starting with her brother Patrick. “Patrick and Ember used to be together, and their son Leo is in Travis’s band.”

  She delivered this information flippantly, but it still made Wendy feel uncomfortable to sit with a group of people who had made Kat feel so self-conscious. She was amazed by Kat’s demeanor. Had she not said anything about the way she felt about Patrick’s persistent flirting, Wendy would not have suspected that anything was wrong. Objectively, the group dynamic was amicable and seemed relaxed. Because of work, she had to decline Erin’s offer to grab her a glass of wine from the bar but made no objection when she scooted her chair close enough that their thighs and shoulders touched.

  “Kat said you work at Fairbanks,” Ember said. It was cool enough in the bar that Wendy was comfortable in her jacket, yet Ember had a sleek sleeveless top that tied around her neck. The way she rested her arms on the table reminded Wendy of a praying mantis.

  Wendy nodded.

  “Does the restaurant do wedding receptions?”

  “Stop,” Jack said.

  “I thought you were having your ceremony and the reception at that cute little hall in Long Beach,” Kat said.

  Wendy bit back the surprise. Kat hadn’t mentioned that her ex was marrying Ember. She l
istened in fascination as Ember insisted that her wedding plans had been ruined by the rainstorm a few nights before. Both men at the table rolled their eyes as Kat expressed sympathy for Ember’s fretting.

  “The manager assured us that the damage is minimal and that they were confident they’d be able to honor their reservations,” Jack said.

  “But it’s just a few weeks away, and they need to replace the roof and redo the flooring. What if they don’t get it finished? We need a backup plan,” Ember persisted.

  Erin shushed them both. “Enough about the wedding. Here come Travis and Leo.”

  Four teenage boys appeared, three in dark jeans and sneakers. All had shirts with logos she did not recognize, but Travis stood apart in his shorts and flip-flops. He took center stage and adjusted the mic. “I recognize Travis. Which one is Leo?”

  “On keyboard. They’re so awkward and so cute. You’re going to love them.”

  After the beating her eardrums had sustained with the first band, she wasn’t sure she would be able to appreciate anything, but she had to admit that it was fun to watch Travis and look for Kat in his movements and expressions. His comfort behind the mic surprised Wendy, and though she didn’t recognize any of the songs, she found herself understanding and enjoying the lyrics. She was utterly absorbed when she felt Kat stand behind her. Wendy’s belly erupted in butterflies as their drummer ducked offstage, passing his drumsticks to Kat. How could she have forgotten that Kat had promised to play?

  Kat beamed at Wendy. She was looking at Wendy, wasn’t she?

  “What’s she doing?” Erin whispered.

  “Playing, it looks like.” Wendy sat mesmerized as Kat situated herself behind the kit.

  “Okay, so like when Leo and I first started our band, we didn’t have a drummer. My mom learned, so we could do shows like this. She didn’t complain when we kicked her out of the band, so I couldn’t say no when she said she wanted to do our last song tonight.” The house erupted into applause.

  Leo started a keyboard intro that immediately transported Wendy back to prom. Then the low beat of the bass drum started in sync with Kat tapping on the cymbal. She leaned toward her mic and sang with a voice as sweet as honey the opening lines to “Head Over Heels” by The Go Go’s.