Karma of Kalpana

by T. L Smith

  “Left Lake Charles about a half hour ago.”

  “I should probably take over for now.” This body tried to sit up a bit straighter, but I could feel she was tired.

  “No need.” The man smiled at her.

  Yeah, his name was Lennox. Zach was her dead husband.

  “Let me drive while I can and save your strength for the last leg. Could use a drink.” I, or rather she, got a bottle out from the cooler tucked between the seats and handed it him.

  “So, Idola is your real name?” He tapped the license tucked in the visor over his head.

  “It’s a family name. Zach was the only person I let call me that. Let’s stick with Ida.”

  “Sorry. I just thought it unique. Does it mean anything?”

  “One who has visions, dreams or predictions. Something else passed down in the family.” Hmmm… “Clearly I never learned to pay attention. I had a bad feeling when Zach took the job that killed him. Got it again when they hitched me up in Seattle. Maybe if I’d listened, I wouldn’t be here.”

  Lennox shrugged his shoulder. “I don’t know. Fate versus free will. I once believed I set my own destiny, but as I got older I realized that sometimes the harder we fight something, the harder it hits back.”

  “Dodging the bullet doesn’t mean missing the war. I guess one way or another I’d have still ended up here.” She went back to staring at the passing countryside. “I just wish I knew why.” Yeah, sister. Me too.

  “Sure we won’t get a cosmic answer any time soon.” Lennox didn’t say anything else.

  Ahead the trees receded from the road and buildings started to pop up, but there were no cars on the road or parking lots. A banner over the highway announced the Biloxi Winter Festival the next weekend. There should be people shopping for Christmas. They rolled by a school playground. It was empty too.

  Were the kids kept from the yard as they passed by with their toxic load, or completely evacuated from the area. Was there even a safe distance to run to? Ida choked again at the thought of her lost future. “We had a choice.”

  The silence broken by those few words made Lennox tip his head her way, curious. “What choice?”

  “My whole life, I had choices.” She needed to clear her soul. “Every step, I was given a choice. Say yes, or no. Turn left, or right. I made the choices, just never knew the fate of them, so that I’d end up here, doing this. Somehow this was my karmic mission.”

  “Maybe, but with or without you, the DOD would have completed the shipment.” Lennox looked off to his left at the empty parking lot of a shopping mall. He must have felt the same eeriness and shook his head to get his attention back on the road.

  “Would they? There’s not that many of us drivers the DOD certified to handle top secret shipments. Because of other choices I made, I was the closest when they put out the call. If not me, they’d have had to wait for another truck, for another driver. Would someone else have stuck it out when the shit hit the fan?” Ida’s eyes followed his to another empty parking lot.

  “That’s just not right. No people anywhere so close to Christmas.” Lennox shivered. “So why are you sticking it out?”

  “That’s why. You felt it just now. If this thing goes off, half our country, maybe more will be dead. What’s not destroyed will be empty. Like that. For how long? A hundred years, a thousand, ten thousand? If I have to justify my death before some god, I need to complete the path laid out in front of me. Not dying in a hospital drugged out of my fucking mind. Karma’s a bitch and I don’t want to come back in the next life as a cockroach.”

  Lennox nodded. “Death with honor, honor in death.”

  “Death with honor…” My eyes fluttered open, my reader sliding to the floor, making me jerk awake trying to catch it. I failed and left it down there, covering my face with my hands.

  I was back in my own body, not hers. Not in the dream. I laid there for a minute, replaying it in my head. “That was just weird.” Weird in that it didn’t fully follow the story. Weird that I’d become the character. Why that particular part of the story?

  I felt her emotions, her surrender to the fate that was already killing her. Maybe knowing she would die either way made the choices easier to make. If I knew what was in the darkness, maybe I could stand up to it too.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Eight days took us further from our point of contact. I’d read the book twice already, but was no closer to understanding the mystery. A part of me wanted to go back and shoot the fortune teller who’d promised I’d find my answers here. If he’d not said a thing, this might all be different.

  Then again, if I hadn’t read the book, I might have fought Huracid and ended up dead, instead of scared and confused. Which was better? Being blind and stupid, or feeling that invisible hand closing tighter around my throat with each passing day. Looking over my shoulder at every sound, at every shadow.

  Then there was Carl. Yes, we had a thing before, but now it was different. When he was hurt, I’d felt something I’d never felt before. Or let myself feel. Taking care of him those few days he needed to recover, I’d let my feelings slip out. I’d turned to him as a safe refuge. But now I knew it was wrong. The feelings were still there, but if something was coming after me, I had no right to pull him down with me.

  Of course he didn’t agree, so I’d taken to avoiding him as much as possible. Something difficult in the confines of my small ship. As I finished my daily workout, he waited. Watching as he leaned against the doorway. “You lost your count, Kali. You can’t shirk your workout or you’ll end up like me, but without an excuse.”

  “I’m distracted.” I didn’t look at him directly as I tried to slip out of the little gym, but he blocked my path. “Carl, please.”

  “We survived. It’s over, which just leaves us.”

  “It’s not over. I’ve tried to tell you that. I don’t know what, or when, but something else is going to happen.” I tensed as his fingers traced down my arm lightly. I tried to hide the uncomfortable fact that his touch started me trembling. This wasn’t innocent flirting anymore. “I can’t do this.”

  Carl’s hand slipped around my waist and he pulled me closer. “If you’re such a believer in that book being some karmic guide, then why are you fighting what’s between us?”

  “Please, stop!” I slipped free and out into the corridor. “Let me figure this out.”

  Carl didn’t reach for me again, but grinned. “Think about it my dear Kalpana. You may be antagonizing fate by breaking the pattern.”

  I escaped to my quarters for a quick, chilling shower, but even that couldn’t shake my thoughts, or his words. He was right. The primary characters were linked in the intimacy of their fates. Just as we were. A sudden image of his wicked smile flashed in my head, the feel of his hands, his lips, the weight of his body… I trembled again, despite the cold spray on my body.

  Don’t! “Stop it!” I pushed him out of my head. I couldn’t think of Carl, or any type of future, not until I understood clues from the past. The damned book was my only guide, but I had no time to read. We had to make port soon, our first on the circle back through the system.

  Changed into uniform, I headed for the cockpit.

  I barely settled into the pilot seat before the computer started shifting down through light. I opened a comm link. “Outpost station 8659, this is the freighter Tamanni dropping out of Sync. Please inform Cargo Master we’ll be making dock in one hour.”

  “Tamanni, confirmed. Good to hear you again.”

  I recognized the voice. “Jeffrey, thought you were on night shifts.” I usually chatted with him in the evenings.

  “Wife was tired of the opposite shifts. We’ll see how long that lasts.” He laughed. “Anyway, glad I caught your call. Commander wants to see you when you dock.”

  “Oh?” My mind went immediately to Huracid and our encounter. Maybe something else happened, something that wouldn’t make me into a loon if I reported our run-in.

  “Yeah, but
at your convenience.”

  That hope evaporated. “I can see him as soon as I dock.”

  “I’ll pass the word.”

  I signed off and remained in the cockpit until we were docked and Carl was busy with the Cargo Master. It let me slip past him. “I’ll be back…soon.”

  Carl called after me as I headed for the ramp. “Soon? That’s your best ETA?”

  “Best I have.” I didn’t look back.

  “Wow, lover’s spat? The Cargo Master asked out loud.

  Thankfully one step outside the ship drowned out Carl’s answer. I headed into the station, bypassing Operations and Jeffrey, straight up to Command. I expecting to be worked into the commander’s schedule, but was immediately called in.

  The man behind the desk stood as soon as I walked in, smiling. “Capt. Ghiya. It’s been a long time.” He held his hand out. I obliged taking it, which gave me a flash of calm from him. Further erasing any hope this had to do with Huracid. “Have a seat.”

  “Yes, sir.” I sat. As I remembered, he wasn’t one of the hard-ass commanders I avoided. Nor one of the commanders who wanted special ‘off-the-books’ favors. No, this man was on a different spectrum. A straight forward good guy. I met him on my first run out here, because he wanted to see the faces of the captains frequenting his station. He wanted to look them in the eyes and know they weren’t going to be trouble. I’d passed inspection and hadn’t seen him since. So this summoning still made me wary.

  The commander leaned over his desk. “Just wanted to check in with you. With your latest run. I got notice that we’re having com issues with Ceris Median and you just did a drop there. I like to keep tabs on my wards. Do you know what their problem is out there?”

  A wave of relief and disappointment. “Yes. They’ve had intermittent com issues for the last two years. Matter of fact, they failed to respond to our last hails and were a no-show for our drop, but…” I fluttered my hand off into space. “Probably down again and couldn’t hear us. If it’s any relief, part of the last drop was new equipment.”

  “Yes, I saw that on the manifest, but we still haven’t had any contact.”

  “Wow! Really? Colonists jumping to reconnect to the IGF web?” Made no attempt to hold back the snarky tone.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know.” The commander didn’t take my sarcasm personally. “Probably won’t even plug the new stuff in until they want something. You freighters and colonists are cut from the same cloth of rebellion, though you never totally cut the umbilical cord.”

  “Don’t know if I’d call it rebellion. Not just anyone makes it out here on the edges, with just the barest of necessities.” I shrugged. “For me, I wanted a little more freedom than a standard IGF job. For the colonist, I think it’s a desire to… build something of their own. Without the constant Big Brother interference.”

  “True. So it’s probably a good thing we haven’t bred the wander-gene out of our species. There’s always people willing to give the wild-west life a try.” He sounded a bit wistful. “I just wanted to check in with you, since you were just there. See if we needed to send a patrol their way. We’ve had a few inquiries from families about there being no contact either.”

  “We didn’t see anything to raise a red flag, and seen this before. But if you want, you can put in a well-fare check on the next scheduled supply run. Whoever makes it will have to do a face-to-face meeting and either tell them to get their shit together, or bring back a condensed broadcast for their families.”

  The commander nodded, more to himself. “We’ll keep an eye on it. Just don’t want to have them out there with broken gear.”

  Yeah. Nice guy. “Listen. If you can’t send a patrol, do the welfare check request. We freighters, at least the decent one, don’t mind doing them.”

  “I’ll do that, but it might not be until your next run before anything hits Ceris M.”

  “Well…” I felt a squeeze in my chest. “Might not be me through here next time.”

  “Really?” He squinted at me and frowned. “You freighters don’t give up your guaranteed runs too easy. Something wrong?”

  Again with the nice guy routine. Maybe he’d understand. I wanted to blurt out we’d been attacked by aliens, but my mouth couldn’t form the words I wanted. “Just a bit tired. Might need some R&R before we head out again.” But maybe not this direction galactic direction.

  “Well, keep an eye on that. We tend to make mistakes when we run ourselves ragged. Consider that an order.” He said it with a smile as he got up from his desk, walking around it. “Next time through we’ll schedule a layover and have a longer chat over food, drinks. I’ll expect to hear about an exciting R&R.”

  Again with the super-nice-guy routine. I felt guilty. What if something horrible was about to happen, and I didn’t raise the alarm. But I couldn’t say anything. No one would believe me without proof. Instead I just promised to keep his invitation in mind and headed back to the ship.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “No. Colonel. Obviously I’m not all right!”. Not my voice. Not my cabin. I was in a cockpit. In an evac suit, waving a helmet at the image of a woman on the monitor. “I have terrorists on board, the man I…my crewman… is injured and my ship’s rigged to blow the fuck up no matter what I do, and my God Damned helmet is defective.”

  “Capt. LeFiat! Calm down. Give us a few minutes to figure this out.”

  “I can’t land and you can’t grab me out of orbit. They got kill switches, so I can’t just ice them and take back my ship. And Juan needs a hospital.” I wasn’t calming down, or rather she wasn’t. Oh... I remember this. Another dream from that book. One of my prior lives. Yeah, really love these dreams. Seeing what she saw, feeling what she felt. Being her. Manically ranting.

  She looked down into the evac tube, at the tether. Her husband, stabbed by one of the terrorist, was suited up and waited on the other end for her to join him as they bailed out of the flying bomb their ship had become.

  “LeFiat. Pull your partner in and we’ll wait for the recovery ship to get closer.”

  “We both know the terrorists won’t wait any longer.” I could feel her heart breaking.

  “And neither can Juan.” I wanted to scream at her to stop. She…I unfastened the tether and gave it a hard tug. “Get Juan to a hospital.” The tether whipped out of my glove and down the chute.

  “What are you going to do?” The colonel didn’t sound surprised at my decision.

  “Don’t have a shitload of choices.” I dialed the hatch closed. “I told them I’d think over their offer, so I have to do something. I can gradually reduce oxygen levels in the cabin, then try to get my hands on one of those dead-man switches as they pass out. Then maybe I can get another helmet and off the ship.”

  It was the only plan I could come up with, so I started a slow reduction of oxygen levels. As levels dropped, I searched the cabinets for something to secure an active kill switch, if I miraculously got my hands on one.

  Rolls of silver duct tape tumbled out of the tool cabinet. Juan insisted it worked on everything. I stuck several long strips to my suit legs. I checked my weapon, confirming the charges. I’d used one, killing the man who stabbed Juan. Considering the intent of the other three terrorists, I knew I could do it again.

  A glance at the surveillance monitor showed bobbing heads. I pulled the auxiliary oxygen line from my suit, fixing it to my nose, adjusting the output to intermittent. Just enough for me to remain functional. Preserving as much as I could for my own evac. Silently I opened the bulkhead door, peeking out from the galley.

  The woman was the leader of this group and she sat behind the two men. The one on the right nodded off and his thumb slipped off his switch. Damn! One down.

  The man on the left had his fist wedged against the arm of the seat. He nodded off too. It crossed my mind that his switch might not be active. I might need the woman’s switch, to be on the safe side.

  She was more resilient, but her eyes drooped. I had to take a chance.
Gently I removed a strip of tape and dashed down the aisle. Before the man on the left could wake up and jerk free, I circled the tape around the arm of the chair and his hand. I put the pistol to his forehead, wincing as it discharged. I did the same thing to the other man.

  The blasts woke the woman. She struggled to jump up from her seat, forgetting her seatbelt. I slammed into her and secured the dead man’s switch as she tried to release it. Stumbling away, she got her belt off and lunged. I put a bullet into her shoulder. She fell back into her seat. I planted my boot on the same shoulder, making her scream, holding her down as I ripped another strip of tape from my leg and wrapped it around the switch.

  I stepped clear again and trained the gun on the woman. “This pistol holds six rounds. I’ve used four. I’m happy to give you the last two.”

  The woman clung to her shoulder in pain. “You said you’d consider a negotiation.”

  “No, I said I’d get back to you. Here I am. You never intended to negotiate, not with those.” I tipped the gun towards the hull charges.

  “You don’t have the code to disarm them.”

  I shrugged and looked down at the switch. “Are you fucking kidding me? You lazy ass bitch!” She’d wrapped a hair band around it to hold the lever down. I was completely pissed off now. I could have saved my oxygen and come out shooting. I wanted to shoot now, but I could hear the colonel urging me not to.

  “You still can’t land and no one can board us.” The woman hissed through clenched teeth, clutching her bleeding shoulder.

  Still wanted to shoot her. Real bad. But the colonel needed information. A puff of oxygen burst up my nose. I inhaled it deep. “So, since I’ll die here, I deserve to know why you did this”

  The woman snarled up at me. “For justice…”

  “What? Justice?” To hear that word from this woman, in an expensive silk suit, diamond earrings and designer shoes. It wasn’t just a costume to get aboard my ship. She wore her clothes with the confidence of privilege. Just looking at her and the bomb on the deck of my ship, made my blood boil hotter. “LIAR! You’re nothing but a spoiled bitch. What’s the matter? Mommy and daddy gave you too many toys and not enough attention?”