Girls, Gifted

by E K Ballard

  Jamie cursed herself for not trying to kiss Kristin after she got off the phone with her mom, but the moment was lost.

  Should she try again before Kristin got out of the Jeep?

  She parked in Kristin’s driveway and put on the brake.

  Jamie turned to face Kristin, who was taking off her seatbelt.

  “Kristin.”

  Jamie wanted to tell her how badly she wanted to kiss her.

  “What?”

  “I, uh,” Jamie tried, but couldn’t say it. “Call me tomorrow?”

  “Sure.”

  Kristin remained in the Jeep, and Jamie started to turn towards her.

  She was going to do it.

  The kitchen door opened and Rebecca stood on the porch, watching.

  Kristin opened the passenger door and climbed out.

  “I’ll call you when I get home from church,” she said.

  Jamie couldn’t believe she had missed another opportunity to kiss Kristin. She was pretty sure Kristin wanted to be kissed.

  * * *

  Kristin couldn’t get over what she was feeling. Was Jamie going to kiss her before her mother called?

  And again before she got out of the Jeep?

  More importantly, if she had, would Kristin have kissed her back?

  Kristin imagined Jamie’s mouth on hers and a tingle raced through her.

  Yes. Definitely.

  Was there something wrong with her that she was feeling like this?

  Kristin needed to talk to someone, but she had no confidantes in Stowe except Jamie and her friends, who would be loyal to Jamie.

  Izzy!

  Kristin picked up her phone and texted:

  I really need to talk to you, please call me 911

  While she waited for Izzy to call, she wondered what she would say to her best friend. What would Izzy say?

  Kristin put the phone down and hugged her pillow, imagining it was Jamie, and waited. After what seemed like hours, her phone rang, and she saw it was Izzy’s number.

  She pounced. “Izzy! Hey, thanks for calling!”

  It was very loud in the background and Kristin pressed her ear to the phone, trying to hear Izzy.

  “What? I can’t hear you,” Kristin said. She heard lots of noise in the background, which suddenly went away.

  “Are you okay?” Izzy asked.

  “Yes, but it’s so loud there.”

  “Sorry, I’m at a tournament. We play next, so I can’t talk long. Is everything okay?” Izzy’s voice was filled with worry.

  “Yeah, I guess, I just need to talk to you.”

  “What? What’s going on?” Izzy asked.

  “I like someone,” Kristin said.

  “Oh, great! What’s his name?”

  “Jamie. But it’s not a he, it’s a, um, she.”

  “What?” Suddenly the noise went up in the background again.

  “The person I like is a girl. Her name is Jamie.”

  “You’re dating a girl?”

  “Not yet, but maybe soon.”

  The noise became unbearably loud and the call disconnected.

  “Izzy?”

  Kristin held the phone in her hand, trying to put meaning to the call. Izzy sure didn’t sound happy for her.

  Did Izzy think she was weird, or not want to be her friend anymore? Kristin paced the room. She tried to call Izzy back, but the call went right to voicemail.

  “Izzy, sorry we got cut off. Would you please call me back when you get a chance? Thanks.”

  Kristin wanted to kick herself. She called her best friend for reassurance and got rebuffed.

  Self-doubt crept into her mind, and Kristin went to bed bothered and confused, worrying about her feelings for Jamie.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  In the morning, Kristin got up, showered and got ready for church. They made it to the 9:30 service by 9:15 and got seats close to the front. Rebecca said hello to people sitting around them and introduced herself and the family if she didn’t know them. She seemed eager to hear Pastor Rich speak this week.

  Kristin just wanted to shut her mind down from the unsettling feeling that her call to Izzy left her with, but her mind kept envisioning Jamie’s smile underneath her pale blue eyes. Kristin tried to think of her schoolwork, but that only lasted ten seconds before she was thinking about Jamie again.

  Pastor Rich took the podium to address the congregation.

  “The Bible tells us to love each other, to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as our savior, and the path to eternal salvation will be ours. But there is a sickness among us that weakens the fiber of our souls, of our families, our communities, and our relationship with Jesus Christ.”

  His voice started to get louder and a little faster. “This sickness pervades our homes and our schools, our places of worship and government institutions. It affects the young and old, it crosses into all backgrounds and ethnicities, and spares no souls.”

  Kristin wondered where he was going with this. She started getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  “This sickness destroys the very core essence of its victims. This sickness is called homosexuality, and it is an ABOMINATION! Those who seek out sexual relations with someone of the same sex may be told by their teachers, or their preachers, or their politicians, that men lying with other men is their right, that they were just born that way, and it’s perfectly normal.”

  The pastor paused to look over the congregation. Kristin thought he was staring right at her.

  “They infiltrate the schools, and indoctrinate our children that it is okay for a boy to become a girl, and a girl to become a boy. They can’t reproduce, but they can use the schools, our public schools, as recruitment centers for these perversions!” He was yelling now, his outrage filling the air.

  “They are going to win over our youth by portraying the gay lifestyle as normal on television, and in movies. It goes against God’s will and they will find themselves burning in the pits of eternal damnation for their deviant behavior!”

  He was now pacing up and down in front of the pulpit.

  “They’re going to invite you to their parades, and their sham marriages, and they’re going to want your acceptance, because if you don’t tolerate the intolerable, you will be cast as a homophobe, or a bigot, and they will try and ruin your name! They will try and put you out of business for believing in traditional families! Stand strong against these IMMORAL SINNERS! Show them the way to salvation through the love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!”

  As Kristin sat and listened to the words of this man of faith, the enormity of what she was feeling towards Jamie came full circle in her consciousness.

  She had come inches from kissing a woman yesterday.

  Not only that, she had fallen in love with Jamie.

  What was wrong with her?

  Shame and guilt swept over her. What would people think? They would think her behavior was scandalous, that it went against nature. They were supposed to multiply fruitfully. How could two women do that?

  Kristin thought of her phone call to Izzy the night before. Izzy sure didn’t approve.

  Kristin sat through the rest of the sermon shell-shocked. How could this happen to her? She had always done what she was supposed to. She went to school, studied hard, and tried to be a good person. She didn’t lie, steal, or cheat.

  Kristin thought of Jamie and everything that Kristin found attractive about her, and tried to erase her from her mind.

  She wanted to get married and have children. She wanted to join the PTA, go to school plays, and be seen as a normal member of society. Jamie couldn’t offer any of that.

  Kristin didn’t realize the sermon was over.

  “Come on,” her mother said, leading them up to speak to Pastor Rich.

  “Rob, good to finally meet you!” Pastor Rich clapped Rob on the shoulder. “What did you think of today’s message?”

  “Oh, it was so inspiring,” Rebecca gushed, her eyes glowing.

>   “It was something else,” said Rob.

  “What about you, Kristin?”

  “It was uh, fine. Good,” she said, trying to sound sincere.

  “Have you given any consideration to the job offer in the kids’ room?” He took his hand off Rob’s shoulder and put it on Kristin’s upper back.

  “Thanks, that was generous of you, but I’m afraid I told Kristin no. Her job is to do her schoolwork,” said Rob, putting his arm around Kristin’s shoulder and pulling her away from Pastor Rich. “They grow up so fast. She’ll be going to college before we know it!”

  “I understand. I certainly respect what the man of the house decides.”

  “If you’ll excuse us, Pastor, we need to get home.”

  “Of course! Rebecca, we’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  “Oh, yes,” she said.

  “What’s tomorrow?” asked Rob.

  “Rebecca is going to be helping teach our homeschool group,” Pastor Rich said. “Didn’t she tell you?”

  “No,” said Rob. “I’m glad you got a job.”

  “Well, it’s only volunteer work,” said Pastor Rich. “We don’t have the funds for a paid position.”

  “But you could pay Kristin six dollars an hour to babysit?” Rob sounded skeptical.

  “Well, that’s different,” said Pastor.

  “Unless you can arrange transportation for Rebecca to get here, Pastor, I’m going to have to put the kibosh on that. Have a nice day.”

  Kristin turned to her dad with her eyebrows raised. Wow, she thought. She didn’t often see her father be so abrupt, especially with a man of the cloth.

  * * *

  “But they need me! And Pastor Rich said it could lead to a paid position.”

  “Rebecca, no. How will I get to work, and the kids to school?”

  “I’ll drop you off.”

  “And then run around using gas to do volunteer work? No! If you want to teach, see if they need substitutes in the school district. You have a degree.”

  “I don’t want to be a substitute,” she said. “I want to work with the church.”

  Kristin sat in the back seat, shell shocked. She heard her parents arguing, but wasn’t listening. She was grateful they were distracted from her dismay.

  She had a catastrophe on her plate. How did she get herself so attached to a woman?

  She had to stop seeing and talking to Jamie.

  She would finish the rest of the Lit project herself and be absent when they had to present. She thought of all the places she ran into Jamie throughout the day and resolved to find other ways to get to class and places to study.

  This was how it had to be.

  * * *

  Jamie reviewed the dance steps for the Merengue while she spoke out the Spanish cues for the steps. She looked at the clock. It was 12:30, so she set up her computer and got her fantasy football lineup ready. She thought she would hear from Kristin soon, but the phone didn’t ring. She was still floating on memories of dancing with Kristin last night.

  When Kristin hadn’t called by two, Jamie called Kristin. The phone rang and rang, and then it went to voicemail.

  “Hi Kristin, it’s Jamie, I hope you had a nice time at church today and you’re having fun with your family. I am practicing my Merengue steps, and I think you’re right, this is going to be great. Thanks for helping me out. Anyway, call me later.”

  * * *

  Kristin heard her phone ring, looked to see who was calling, and let Jamie’s call go to voicemail. After she listened to the message, she deleted it, and turned her phone off. She remembered how Izzy hung up on her when she heard Kristin liked a girl, and replayed the words of Pastor Rich’s sermon back in her head. She didn’t think what she and Jamie had was necessarily bad for others, but Kristin had higher expectations for herself. She didn’t want anyone to think she was weird, and there was this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that two girls being together would never be accepted no matter what anyone said.

  * * *

  Jamie was surprised she hadn’t heard back from Kristin that afternoon and worried that something had happened to her. She called again and her call went right to voicemail.

  “Hi Kristin, it’s Jamie again. I hope you are okay, I thought you were going to call me today. Okay, I hope I hear from you.” Jamie pressed “End” on her phone and leaned with her back against her bedroom windowpane. She must be busy, Jamie tried to convince herself.

  Or had she misread how Kristin felt about her?

  Jamie went to bed troubled that night. With each minute that passed without hearing from Kristin, the feeling that something was wrong grew.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jamie went into school Monday morning anxious to see Kristin. She looked into the AP Calculus classroom before it was dismissed and saw her desk was empty. She leaned back against the wall in the hallway.

  Was Kristin okay?

  Jamie went into Algebra distracted, but she had to focus on teaching the Merengue next period.

  In Spanish class, Senora Jimenez asked for volunteers to teach their lesson. Jamie raised her hand. Senora Jimenez was surprised, and called on Jamie. While Jamie got the music ready, she asked them all to stand up and move the desks to the back of the room. They complied, curious to see what Jamie was going to teach.

  Jamie started shaking as she faced the class. Everyone was focused on what Jamie was going to say and do. She tried to speak, and couldn’t. She closed her eyes for a moment and pretended she was just talking to Kristin.

  She did exactly what Kristin had told her to do. The students lined up, Jamie demonstrated the moves, and the leaders, laughing, took their steps without screwing around too much. Senora Jimenez joined the followers and they learned their steps. Jamie started the music, and calling out the cues in Spanish, the class started dancing. While it wasn’t pretty, they were all trying and having a good time. More than half the class looked like they knew what they were doing, so Jamie taught the turn.

  When it was done, they all clapped for Jamie and moved the desks back. “That was fantastic,” said Senora Jimenez. “Now that is an example of creativity!”

  She couldn’t wait to tell Kristin about it. They had Lit together next period.

  Kristin wasn’t in her desk when Jamie got there. Jamie took her seat and waited. The bell rang, and Mr. Starke shut the door.

  “Take out your textbooks and turn to page 188. Do the first two questions at the bottom of the page.”

  While the rest of the class started their work, Jamie kept her eyes on the door, waiting for Kristin to walk through the door. As each moment passed, Jamie became more concerned.

  Was Kristin all right? Had she been in an accident or something?

  Jamie worried about where Kristin was, and why she hadn’t called Jamie back yesterday. The bell rang, and Jamie went to the cafeteria.

  “Can I use your phone?” she asked Lissy.

  Lissy pushed it across the table to Jamie.

  Jamie dialed Kristin’s number and got her voicemail.

  “Hi Kristin, its Jamie. You weren’t in class so I was wondering if you’re all right. I called you yesterday, not sure you got my messages, but give me a call.”

  Jamie handed the phone back to Lissy. “Thanks.”

  “How is she supposed to call you?” Lissy asked.

  “Maybe she’ll call on your phone.”

  Lissy made a face at Jamie.

  “Look, I’d get a phone this minute if it meant she could call me,” Jamie said.

  “You’re really upset, aren’t you?”

  Jamie nodded. “We hung out Saturday night, she said she’d call me after church, and she didn’t so I called her twice and she didn’t call me back. Then today she’s absent. What if something happened to her?”

  * * *

  Kristin let her brother sit in the front on the way into school. She sat behind her dad and tried to look weak and pained.

  “Dad, I’m not feeling great. C
ould I go into the store with you and lie down until I feel better?”

  Rob looked at her through the rearview mirror.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just crampy,” she said.

  “Oh, shut up about your gross girl problems!” Lucas shouted.

  “Lucas, that’s enough. You can rest in my office, but it’s not particularly quiet in there.”

  “That’s fine,” she said wanly.

  “You must really feel lousy. You never miss school,” Rob said.

  Kristin lay on the sofa in her dad’s office. She looked at her phone. It was 7:42. If she was in school, she’d be seeing Jamie in the hallway in thirty minutes.

  Jamie.

  Kristin couldn’t stop thinking about Jamie.

  When Lit was supposed to start, Kristin sat up and though that she wanted to go in to school and talk to Jamie. Maybe they could work it out somehow.

  No!

  Kristin wanted to see or talk to Jamie very badly, but she needed to be strong and get through this.

  “How you feeling, honey?” Rob asked, poking his head in the door.

  “About the same,” she said, putting her hand to her forehead.

  “Why don’t I take you home?” he asked.

  Kristin did not want to be alone with her mother.

  “No, that’s okay. I’m fine here. Don’t waste the gas.”

  She turned her phone off and closed her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to push thoughts of Jamie out of her mind.

  Especially thoughts of Jamie’s lips moving in to kiss her.

  * * *

  Jamie tracked Lissy down before 8th period.

  “Hear anything?” she asked.

  Lissy checked her phone.

  “No.”

  “Something’s wrong,” Jamie said.

  She left for the middle school gym and walked in to Lucas’s PE class.