Who is She?

by V Clifford

  Viv was eager, but didn’t want to rush things, so she said, ‘Look, I’ll go into the village and get fresh supplies, then we’ll have food for the rest of the weekend and won’t have to pilfer from Sal’s larder.’

  ‘Sounds good,’ her mum said. ‘Could you get me a newspaper?’

  ‘Sure. The Times?’

  ‘Yes, thanks.’

  ‘Still reading about the old propaganda machine?’ Her mum ignored her. ‘What about you Mand, do you and James need anything specific?’

  ‘I think I brought enough to see him through, but if they have . . . och it’s fine if you’re buying fresh veg I can make stuff with that.’

  She glanced at Moll who was on the sofa in the conservatory with her chin resting on the arm, staring out of the window. ‘You okay, Moll?’ The dog was off the sofa in a beat and by Viv’s side. Viv rubbed her ears and went in search of her lead. Unlike Sal she never took the dog for a walk without the lead on. Too nervous that Moll’d take off and she’d not get her back. The dog, clearly back to normal, spun round and round with excitement, so that Viv couldn’t get the lead on her. ‘Sit still.’ Made no difference. Eventually Viv stroked her back, plonked her rear end on the floor and looped the lead over her head. ‘Right, let’s go.’

  Moll trotted by her side as if being on a tether was normal to her. It was a crisp morning with blue sky and a thin layer of frost everywhere. The short walk to the village was charming. The lane flanked by specimen trees, a humpbacked bridge with the sound of the burn gurgling below it, the smell of organic matter mulching by the edges of gravel, everything contrary to her life in the city. She nodded to people she’d never met and replied when they bid her ‘Good morning’. A man in a thick lumberjack shirt was petting Moll when she came out of the post office, a shop that sold everything. It was a good morning.

  The main street in Doune supplied what she needed so she returned laden with food and essentials, the dog trotting by her side. She took a deep breath and got an inclination of what it was that Sal loved about living there. Sal was addicted to it. The rhythm was gentle, people in less of a hurry, and most of life’s essentials could be found within a hundred paces of the house. What was not to like?

  When she pushed open the door of the cottage, warmth and the smell of coffee made her imagine that maybe she could get used to country living. She’d always been averse to too much green. And maybe that was it – at this time of year the place was a lot less green. She dumped the bags on the kitchen table and began to unpack them. No sign of her mum, Mand or James. She heard water running upstairs so someone was in the shower. Note to self, don’t run the cold tap or they’ll get scalded. The fridge began to bulge with food, a much healthier sight than hers ever did at home. Eventually her mum appeared with the tapestry bag that she hadn’t allowed Viv to carry upstairs for her.

  Viv was itching to see what was inside, but they couldn’t begin without Mand.

  ‘Amanda hasn’t come back yet?’

  ‘Don’t think so. There’s been no sign of her.’

  ‘She said she’d take James out, give him some fresh air and exercise to tire him out.’

  ‘Poor wee soul, he’s barely up.’

  ‘Oh, he’s been awake since five-thirty. He’ll need a rest.’

  Viv flipped the switch on the kettle then remembered to use the Aga. Her mum noticed and said, ‘It’ll become second nature.’

  Viv wanted to ask how she knew if she’d only used one a couple of times, but zipped her lips. She handed the newspaper to her mum who immediately turned to the Obituaries. ‘Someone you know died?’

  She closed the paper and withdrew to the conservatory. ‘That nose of yours will get you into trouble, Vivian.’

  ‘How long have they been out?’

  ‘They left more or less at the same time as you.’

  ‘So what, about forty-five minutes, an hour?’

  Her mum nodded, ‘I suppose. Why?’

  ‘No reason. Just it’s freezing out there. I can’t imagine what would take all this time.’

  ‘If they’re not back in half an hour you can go and find them. They won’t have gone far.’

  ‘The riverbank is slippery. They could have had an accident.’

  ‘Much as you think Mand isn’t as switched on as you I think you’ll find since James came along her priorities have changed.’

  Half an hour passed and Viv who was now doubly tetchy put her boots on and a lead on Moll.

  ‘Be back soon. I’m going to walk the riverbank downstream. I’ll come back here before I try anywhere else.’

  Her mum gave her a curt nod. ‘Okay. Is there a bell or a whistle?’

  Viv started looking in the hall cupboard and the drawers of a cabinet. Her mum came through. ‘I’ll do that, you go down the river.’

  Her mum not as relaxed as she’d been pretending to be. Moll, delighted to be on her second walk of the day, wagged her back end as if it would fall off. The riverbank was littered with mulching leaves, broken twigs and branches. The river, not as high as she’d seen it before, was still flowing at a fair pace. She watched a plastic juice bottle racing by, swept in spirals as it went. There was no sign or sound of Mand or James. After twenty minutes she returned via the Chapel Wood. There was plenty of light through the trees, nothing overgrown and the ground a carpet of dead leaves. If they were there she’d definitely be able to spot them. The crack of her footsteps onto twigs and bracken was the only thing interrupting the quiet. Moll went off sniffing madly towards a hollow. A roe deer broke cover and Viv almost had heart failure. It was out of sight so fast that she could hardly believe it had been there. ‘Well done, Moll.’ She tried to stroke the dog’s head but Moll’s nose was busy on the ground. Mand and James couldn’t have been this way otherwise the deer wouldn’t have settled. She arrived back at the house. She could see her mum inside the conservatory, standing with her arms crossed, her eyes scanning the fields.

  Viv took off in the opposite direction, towards the village. As she approached the humpbacked bridge Moll began to strain at the lead. She was trying to get over the wall which led to the water. Viv hauled her back but leaned over the parapet and shouted, ‘Amanda!’

  She heard a reply, and scrambled over the wall and down the embankment. Mand and James were huddled at the edge of the archway beneath the bridge.

  ‘What the hell?’

  Mand tried to stand up but couldn’t manage with James in her arms. Viv took hold of James and Mand was able to get to her feet.

  ‘What are you doing down here?’

  ‘Let’s save it ’til we get back.’

  Viv put James on her shoulders and helped Mand hobble up the bank. It was so slippery that they all fell down. Viv said, ‘I’ll take James up and come back for you.’

  ‘No, no, don’t leave him on his own.’

  ‘Okay. Give me your hand. I’ll edge up on my backside and pull you up.’

  After a few minutes they made it to the top. All they had to do was scale the wall to get back onto the road. But the drop on this side was higher than from the road, so Mand had to stand on Viv’s back to make it, then Viv handed James up to her as she sat on the wall. Moll managed the leap and Viv followed. Just a few metres away a tree had come down and was lying near enough to the wall to be used as a step. On the road they looked at each other. Mand’s cream trousers and jacket were filthy. James wasn’t too bad but had lost his hat. Viv was covered in mossy mud on all sides. They traipsed back to the cottage in loaded silence.

  ‘We’re back!’ Viv shouted as she pushed open the front door. No answer. She deposited James on the rug in the hall and called out again, ‘Mum, we’re back.’ No answer. ‘Shit! Surely she hasn’t gone out looking for you.’

  Mand stripped off her outdoor kit then did the same with James.

  ‘What happened? How come you were . . .’

  Mand held up her hand, ‘Mum’ll want to hear as well so let’s wait until she appears.’

  They bot
h stared at each other at exactly the same moment, then Mand shouted, ‘Mum! Oh shit!’

  Viv said, ‘She can’t have gone out. I’ve already been down the river looking for you.’

  Mand said, ‘I walked towards the village so that James could see the castle and so we wouldn’t get dirty. Total joke. Look at us.’

  ‘I don’t need to. I need to find mum.’

  Viv went to the back door and found it slightly ajar. There’s no way her mum would leave the door open in this weather. She shouted into the garden, ‘Mum!’ No answer. She went back inside and grabbed her coat and boots. ‘She can’t have gone far. She’s not dressed for being out in this weather. For God’s sake, what is wrong with you people?’

  Mand said, ‘What the f . . .?’ She glanced at James. ‘She wouldn’t go out without telling us unless it was an emergency.’

  Reluctantly, ‘I suppose, but she’s behaving as if she’s forty again and as much as people say seventy’s the new fifty I’m not so sure . . .’ She scratched her head. ‘Why? What happened that you were under the bridge?’

  ‘There was someone following us.’

  Viv let go of a huge sigh, ‘How do you know?’

  ‘Well, we went along the lane to the castle and I happened to look back, and there was a man behind us. He looked away as if he was lighting a cigarette, but it just didn’t look right. I told myself the same as you would, that I was being stupid, over-reacting. But when we’d had enough of the castle I saw him hovering in the car park, and when we were leaving he was behind us again.’ She lifted James off the rug and pushed his hair back off his face. ‘He was definitely following us and he didn’t make a very good job of being discreet.’ She ran a hand through James’ hair again. He flinched and moaned. ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry. Mummy didn’t mean to be so rough.’

  ‘Okay. You stay here and lock all the doors. I’ll do another recce with Moll since she was the one to smell you guys on the other side of the wall. If mum comes back lock yourselves in. We’ve no idea who this crank is.’

  Viv took off along the riverbank again and soon came across her mum walking towards her. No jacket and no outdoor shoes, one side of her trousers and her arm covered in mud. She was breathing hard but her colour was good and her eyes sparkling.

  Viv opened her mouth to sound off, but her mum put a hand up to stop her.

  ‘I’ll explain back at the house.’

  ‘You’re damn right. You two are a complete liability. For God’s sake we’ve only been together for a night. You shouldn’t have left the house.’

  Her mum marched ahead and nodded her agreement. ‘But sometimes plans don’t work out the way you thought they would, right?’

  Viv banged on the door and Mand unlocked it and let them in. Their mum gave her an apologetic look, but Mand shook her head. ‘What the hell were you thinking going out dressed like that?’

  ‘I didn’t mean to, but there was a man at the window so I went into the garden to ask what he wanted and he took off. I followed. He must be mad. He waded across the river. Did you see how high it was?’

  ‘I don’t care how high the river was, I care that you were stupid enough to go chasing a strange man. Look at you, you’re not in any fit state to go out. It’s freezing out there.’

  Their mum shuddered. ‘I might take a hot bath.’

  ‘I’ll get you a blanket until you stop shivering and you will tell us what the hell is going on. And how did they find us up here in the middle of nowhere?’

  ‘They must have been watching my flat and followed us here. It’s not rocket science.’

  Viv’s blood began to simmer. She bit down on her lip, ‘Okay, stop right there. Who are “they’”?’

  ‘I honestly don’t know. But can probably find out.’

  ‘Well, that’s progress.’ She nodded to Mand, ‘You tell her what happened to you.’

  Mand said, ‘I was followed.’ She glanced at Viv. ‘I’m not making this up.’

  Viv replied, ‘No one thinks you are. Just tell us exactly what happened.’

  ‘I took James to see the castle and on the way I saw a guy. He looked odd, as if he had stopped abruptly and turned away. Then I saw him do the same sort of thing in the car park at the castle. I felt nervous because James wouldn’t stand still and kept wriggling away from me and trotting off. I can keep up with him but sometimes he bolts into spaces that I can’t reach. I decided to give him a high shoulder and walk back. The guy was definitely behind us. So I shimmied over the wall and hid. That’s when you found me.’ She nodded at Viv.

  ‘Describe him to mum. Maybe it was the same guy that she was chasing. Let’s hope so, otherwise it means we’re dealing with two.’

  ‘Tall, heavy build, reddish blonde hair, smoker, leather jacket, black jeans or trousers.’

  ‘No specific identifying features?’

  Mand said, ‘No. I didn’t get that close.’

  Their mum interrupted. ‘I did. He has old acne scars and it sounds like the same guy. God knows how he didn’t get swept away in the burn. But he didn’t and he ran back up the opposite bank towards the village.’

  ‘Did you recognise him, mum?’

  Her mum hesitated. ‘No. I don’t think I did.’

  ‘What do you mean you don’t think you did? Either you did or you didn’t.’

  ‘No, then no I didn’t.’

  Viv, a super-recogniser, wasn’t convinced but didn’t push it. ‘How did he get here without passing me on the lane? There’s no way unless he went behind the castle farm, which is a quagmire.’ She was thinking aloud. ‘So what does he want, mum?’

  Their mum gave a huge sigh. ‘Oh, it could be a couple of reasons, but the top of the list, if I’m right, he thinks I’ve got something that belongs to him.’

  Viv couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Not one reason but two for her mum, in her dotage, to be pursued . . . She continued, ‘And do you have something that belongs to him?’

  ‘No. But he’ll never believe me. Let’s have a hot drink.’

  Viv put the electric kettle on and when the others opened their mouths she put her hand up. ‘I’m doing things my way and that includes the boiling of water. No buts.’

  ‘Such a waste . . .’

  Viv feigned uninterest. ‘Once we’ve got drinks and whatever else you need to keep your butt in a chair for the next however long it takes, you can go through the stuff you brought, and fill us in on the details that we need to know. So get comfy, we’re in for the long haul.’

  Her mum stood up and still wrapped in a blanket went upstairs. After twenty minutes she returned in dry clothes and clinging onto the tapestry bag. She laid it on the floor in front of the sofa. James was immediately interested, but she drew it away from him and hoisted it onto her lap. She pulled out a box, slightly smaller than the one Viv and Mand had found beneath her bed, and a few large brown paper envelopes with old stamps on them but in good shape. She’d obviously treasured them. They hadn’t been torn open; they’d been opened neatly using a knife or a letter opener. Mand held James on her lap and Viv sensed his frustration at not being allowed to play around on the floor. He was a strong little boy who wasn’t easily deterred. Once he’d wriggled out of Mand’s grasp he was happy and placed himself on the floor next to Moll and stroked her back.

  The older woman gradually drew out papers from the box and photographs from the envelopes. Viv spotted a large photograph of her mum wearing a suit that could have been a parachute suit or a boiler suit of some kind. Whatever it was it was a coverall that emphasised her youth and her tiny waist. A woman also in military issue clothes stood at her side; they were both smoking cigarettes. She’d never imagined her mum like this, or in this kind of kit. All the pictures that were on display at home she was in a frock or twinset with a skirt. There were a couple of family pictures at the beach where everyone was wearing a swimsuit. Both her parents were in good shape and used to have swimming competitions and races along the wet sand when the tide was out. The
more Viv thought of these things the more she realised that perhaps not all parents were as fiercely competitive with each other. The black and white image of her mum with the stranger was part of a life that she and Mand hadn’t had access to.

  The clothes of the woman in the photograph Viv had seen before since it hadn’t changed much and was definitely military prison issue. Judging by her mum’s modestly bee-hived hair the photograph had been taken in the late sixties, maybe early seventies. Their body language was not unfriendly, so who was the stranger and what was her mum doing with her? There were other papers, which her mum returned to the box without letting them see.

  ‘What’s up with those?’ Viv gestured towards the box. ‘Can’t we get a look at those?’

  Her mum stared at her. ‘I’m not ready to let you see them.’

  ‘So why did you bring them?’

  ‘Because I don’t want anyone to get their hands on them and for now that includes you.’

  ‘I don’t get why you need to be so secretive about things that happened a long time ago.’

  ‘Don’t you?’ Again she stared at Viv.

  Viv looked away.

  ‘So you do know, but have one rule for you and another for me.’

  Mand, who’d been looking through the photographs, stopped and glanced from one to the other. ‘What’s between you two? Sometimes I think you’re more like enemies than family.’

  Her mum answered, ‘We’re perhaps too alike.’

  Viv snorted, ‘I don’t think so.’

  Mand shook her head. ‘That I think proves mum’s point. You’re just as stubborn or should I say determined as she is. You might as well get over it, Viv.’

  What could be worse than your sister telling you how like your mum you are, when all your adult life you’ve done everything to oppose her and be like your dad? Viv slipped off the sofa onto the floor and joined James in stroking Moll, who rolled onto her back and enjoyed the attention. The dog was so at ease with James and he with her she wondered if Mand had given him a talk about how to behave with her. If not he was a natural, so sensitive and gentle she hadn’t imagined him capable of it. She idly lifted up an envelope and pulled some photographs from inside. Tears immediately welled up at the black and white images of her dad, clearly taken just before the explosion. She couldn’t bear to see them and put them back.