Feersum Endjinn

by Iain M. Banks

  He looked up. The others were turned towards him.

  ‘Yes?’ he asked.

  ‘Will you tell us your story?’ the woman asked.

  ‘I think not. Forgive me.’ He smiled a little then went back to his book.

  ‘Sir, please,’ she said, pleasantly enough. ‘We would count ourselves fortunate if you’d join our group. Will you not share your wisdom with us?’

  ‘I have no wisdom,’ he told her.

  ‘Your experiences, then?’

  ‘They have been trivial, uninteresting, and full of error.’

  ‘So you protest,’ she said evenly. She looked at one of the others in the circle. ‘Great souls suffer in silence,’ she said quietly, amidst laughter.

  He frowned, hiding his face with the book.

  He slept that night in a high bare room looking over the dark plain.

  The woman came to him in the night, her presence signalled by a creak on the stairs even before the rucksack - balanced against the door - fell over.

  Called from a dream — in which he heaved a cutlass, knee deep in a fly-blown salt marsh - he sat with his cloak drawn around him up to his eyes, the sword concealed beneath.

  She stood in the doorway, a pale ghostly head seeming to float above her black gown. She saw his eyes, and nodded.

  He swept the cloak aside to let her see the sword.

  ‘I did not come for a duel, sir,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Then I regret there is no field in which I can give you satisfaction.’

  ‘Nor for that,’ she said, shutting the door and sitting down beside it. They sat looking at each other for a moment.

  ‘Why, then?’ he asked.

  ‘Absens haeres non erit,’ she told him.

  He took a while to reply. ‘Plainly,’ he said without inflection, and waited to see which way that would be taken.

  He saw the whiteness of her teeth as she smiled. ‘I was told it might not be possible to tell if you are the one. That might be a further sign in itself.’

  ‘Nonsense.’

  She nodded. ‘That’s what I thought.’

  ‘What “one”, may I ask?’

  ‘You may. Choose from the many rumours, myths and legends. I don’t know.’

  ‘You have disturbed your own sleep and mine merely to tell me what you don’t know?’

  ‘No; to tell you this: seek the transformation of the enemy.’ She rose. ‘Good night.’

  Then she opened the door and left, more silently than she had arrived.

  He sat, thinking.

  It took him a while to work it out.

  4

  Am in thi lammergeiers roost, ma bref soundin loud in ma eers & mixd in wif theez hissy clikky noyses coz am wearin this mask on ma fais & a breevin botil on me bak boath ov witch I got off thi ded spier.

  This is a spooki ole playce & no mistake. Thers nobodi aroun & its very coald indeed & thi lite is very wyt & intens & washd out lookin. Bein in thi lammergeiers roost is like bein insyd a jiant holy cheez; sorta interconectid bubbilz & stretchd punkchird membrains ov stoan & metil evrywheare & hi up on thi wols in plaises whare thi bubbilz mak cup & boals juttin out thers theez nests lynd wif babil plant & fevirs onli thers no birdz in them nor eggs nor nufin. Thi floar of thi roost is lyk a hoal lot ov littil craters eech ov them holdin loadsa brokin, splintird boans. Ma feet go cruntch cruntch as I wok, lookin up & aroun & tryin 2 c if thers enybodi else heer Ithir hoomin or creetch but thi plais seems 2 b dessertid.

  Ther r hooj sirkils in thi outer wols lyk porthoals whare thi winds cumin whistlin thru & soundin hi & reedy & weerd; I clime up 2 1 ov thi bigir holez & luke out. Its hazy whyt clowd out thare like a lair ov fog whot extends 2 thi horyzon; u can juss about c thi lowir levils ov thi cassil showin undirneef, like sumfin trapt inside a transparint glaysier. Thers a cupil ov towrs stikin up froo thi cloud but they luke very small & far away. No sine ov no birds out thare neevir, but then thats thi fing; this is 2 far up 4 birdz 2 fly, so how cum thi lammergeiers wer evir here?

  I slide doun a curv ov bubil & cruntch in2 sum boans, then hed 2wards thi centir ov thi towir, in2 thi shados whare thers a faint breez cumin from.

  Thi nests fin out & disapeer as I go deeper, stil cruntchin ovir thi occaysinal boan while it gets darkir & darkir & I can hardly c whare am puttin ma feet. Av got this torch whot thi ded spyer had on him so I turn it on & juss as wel; thers a dirty grate hoal rite in front ov me. I edje closir & hold on2 thi wol & stik ma hed out ovir thi hooj sirkulir hoal. Muss b 50 metirs or moar acros. Blak deep. Goze strate up in2 thi darkniss, 2. Thers a jentil draft ov air cumin up thi shaft. Iss warm, @ leest in comparison wif thi freezin air up heer. No sine ov eny uthir entrinses aroun thi shaft, juss this 1.

  Am stil not enywhare neer thi centir ov thi towir; thass way, way furthir deep, probly a cupil ov klometirs away. Am in thi fass towr, stil on thi lam & serchin 4 litl Ergates.

  I leen bak from thi hoal.

  Then thers a cruntchin noyse sumwhare in thi darknis bhind me. I whirl roun.

  I foun Gaston thi slof peekin out ovir a stoan ledj on thi inside wol ov thi slofs’ towr, neer thi sloped tunnil whot led 2 thi ole lift shafts. Accordin 2 thi glimpse Id had ov thi locality when Id cripted erlier these shafts wer abandind & unyoosd but Id fot wif eny luk theyd b thi tipe ov shaft whot has stares goan roun thi inside ov thi shaft 4 merjencies, & mayb they wooden b garded by thi bods whot wer attakin thi slofs.

  Wel, that woz thi feery. In fact thi scoop ov thi tunil on thi levil blow whare Gaston woz hidin woz fool ov Security geezirs wif guns. O grate, I fot.

  I’d climed along btween thi dank blak wol ov thi towr & thi framework ov scaffoldin whot woz thi slofs’ hoam neyburhood, hedin 4 heer, whare thi floar dropt away in steps & thi aksess tunil woz. Lookt like old Gaston had had thi saim idear.

  I didn fink Id maid a noyse but he turnd roun sloly & saw me & pushed himself bak from thi edj ov thi ledj & climed up thi scafoldin 2wards me, poyntin bhind me.

  We retreetid a bit, bhind sum ov thi canvas-hung scafoldin.

  ... yung Bashkule, he sed, u r shafe; gude.

  Yeh & u, I sed. But it lukes like thi Security boyz ½ this playce strung up gude & tite. U no eny uthir waze out ov heer?

  . . . ash it happinsh, Gaston sez, I do actchirly. If yule jusht folo me ...

  Gaston set off bak froo thi scaffoldin hedin upwards @ whot woz probly a extreme sprint 4 a slof. I ambild aftir him.

  We climed up about 7 floars ov thi slof scaffoldin; ther woz qwite a lot ov smoak up here & I cude c flaims in thi distins, deepir inside thi struktyir.

  ... Heer, Gaston sed, stopin @ a pritti ordnari lookin bit ov wol. He gript thi top ov a drippin blak stoan; it hinjed down 2 riveel a roun blak hoal. He moashind me in.

  I muss ½ lookt doobeyus.

  ... I’ll go firsht, then, he sed, & clambird in2 thi hoal.

  I shuden ½ luked doobeyus bcoz I cuden lift thi stoan bak up aftir us & so Gaston had 2 sqweez past me 2 do it. I doan no if u ½ evir had a larj swety slof wif kopeyis qwantities ov fungis on itz pelt sqweez past u in a confined spaice ... Cum 2 fink ov it probly u ½nt, but asoomin thass thi case fink uself luky thass ol I can say.

  ½in Gaston sqweez past me agen didn seem like sutch a gude idear.

  Al juss leed off then if itz ol thi same 2 u Gaston ole sun, I sed.

  ... By ol meenz, yung Bashcule.

  Thi tunil woz crampt & only fit 4 crollin in. Thi dam fing wen up, doun & roun this way & that way; it woz like climein around in thi intestinez ov sum hooj stoan jiant. Wif Gaston’s pelt-fungis stil smeerd ol ovir me, it didn smel dissimilir neevir.

  Lissin Gaston, I sed @ 1 point while he woz givin me a punt up a partikerly steep bit ov thi jiant intestin, am reely sorry if that woz me whot brot ol that thare shit down on u gies. I reely presiate whot u did, rescuin me & takin me in etc & Id hate 2 fink I woz responsibil 4 ol this.

  ... I qwite undirshtand yoor angwish, yung Bashcule, Gaston sed. But itsh not yoor folt shertin persh
insh r tryin 2 pershicute u.

  U reely fink they woz aftir me? I askd.

  ... Zhat woz zhe impreshin I formed from what I overherd, Gaston sed. Zhey did not sheem 2 b intereshtid in eny ov ush. Zhey were lukin 4 shumbody elsh zhey shuspected ush ov harberin.

  Blimey.

  ... In eny event, Gaston sed, Zhi reshponshibility ish thersh, not yoorsh. Whot happind ish just 1 ov thoshe thingsh I shupoashe.

  Wel, fanks, Gaston, I sed.

  . . . U didn ... kript, did u? Gaston sed. Ish jusht that mite ½ led them 2 ush. But u didn, did u?

  O no, I sed. No, not me; I didn. Nope. Not gilty. No sirree. Uh-uh. Wooden catch me doing a fing like that. O no.

  ... Zhare u r then, Gaston sed. & so we wound on fru thi guts ov thi towr, me feelin lowir than a tapewurm.

  Eventyooly we came 2 a bit whare thi tunil wideind out & thi floar turnd from stoan 2 wood; I moar or less fel in2 this woodin bowl whare a faint lite shon. I didn qwite get out ov thi way in time so Gaston slid down on top ov me.

  Moar pelt fungis.

  ... ther shude b a trap heer shumwhare, Gaston sed, feelin aroun on thi floar ... A, heer it is. Ther woz a sorta holo clunkin noyse & in thi ½-lite I cude c Gaston pullin whot lookt like a hooj plug up out ov thi floar.

  ... Itsh a holod out babil shtem, Gaston explained, settin thi plug 2 1 side. I’ll go firsht, I shink.

  Thi holo babil trunk heded down in a serees ov long, stretchd Ss. Ther wer rungs on thi wols; Gaston wen down them prity qwikli 4 a slof. Now & agen we passd whot mite ½ been doars in thi trunk whare thi okayshinal crak ov lite showd, but moastli it woz toatily dark. We seemd 2 go on doun 4evir & I neerli fel off a cupil ov tyms. Juss as wel Gaston woz beneef me; thi thot ov anuthir cloas encountir wif his pelt fungis qwikly consintraitid my mynd, I can tel u.

  @ last Gaston sed, . . . Heer we r, & we stept on 2 a platform ov stoan & wen thru a doar in2 a crampt spais whare Gaston wriggld & I crold btween a stoan floar & this metil sealing witch maid a sorta blurbilurbilurbil soun. We cairn out in whot luked lyk a big long kurvin servis duct hoos wols wer lynd wif pyps; weed juss crold undir a big gurglin tank ov sum sort. I cude heer whot soundid lyk a trane rumblin sumwhare neerby.

  ... Zher ish a frate tube line juncshin thru zhare, Gaston sed, poyntin @ a hatch in thi floar. Zhi tranes ½ 2 shlo doun 2 negoshiate thi poyntsh & it ish poshibil 4 a hoomin 2 jump on bord a wagin & sho shicure a ryde. I shink I ½ 2 retern 2 c whot has befolin ma frendsh, but if u can maik yoor way 2 thi sekind levil shousht-wesht buttry u wil fynd a toun zhare. Go 2 thi shentril sqware; shum1 wil b lukin 4 u & wil luke aftir u. Im sorri 2 ½ 2 abandin u in zhish way, but it ish ol I can do.

  Thass ol rite, Gaston, I sed. U dun ol u can & I doan deserv ol thi kyndniss yoov shown me. I woz so choakd I cude ½ hugd him, but I didn. He just noddid his big funy pointid hed & sed, . . . Wel, gude luk yung Bashcule, u tak care now . . . & u promish u wil go 2 thi shousht-wesht buttry & thi toun zhare?

  O yes, I sez, lyin thru ma teef.

  Good. Fair wel.

  Then he woz away, crolin bak undir thi big gurgli tank.

  I went doun fru thi hatch in thi floar in2 a brod dark cavern whare lots ov toob lyns converjd from singil tunnils. Ther woz nobodi about but I hid bhynd sum hummin sorta cabinet fings between 2 ov thi trax & wated; a whyle laitir a trane ov opin wagins came rattlin fru, claterin acros thi points; I let thi unmand endjinn & moast ov thi wagins go pas & then jumpd on 1 neer thi end, hollin maself up thi side & ovir in2 its emty interier.

  After a few minits during witch thi trane entird a blak-dark tunnil & pikd up speed agen, I rekind it woz safe 2 kript.

  Ther woz no horibil corrosiv fog/sleet heer. Everyfin loakily seemd normil. Thi trane woz heddin 4 thi far end ov thi 2nd levil, neer 2 thi Sutherin Volcano Room. It wude slo down @ a few moar playces yet whare I cude get off. I kriptd furthir afeeld.

  /Thi lammergeiers roost woz frozen. Its kript-space representation woz thare but it woz like a stil piktcher insted ov a moovy; ther wer no birds nor enybody or enyfin thare & u cuden interact wif nufin thare. I sensd sumfin neerby in thi kript space & suspectid ther woz sum kinda gard on thi playce, waitin 2 c who turnd up inarestid in thi lammergeiers. I disconectid qwik.

  Thi trane rold on. Thi lammergeiers livd — or used 2 liv - in thi fass towr, on thi 9th levil. I rekind ther woz sumfin goan on up thare. Thi frate trane wude pass almost undirneef thi fass towr. Gude enuf 4 me. Thi 9th levil soundid a bit hi & cold & inaxessibil but Id burn that bridje when I came 2 it.

  I almost decapitaytid myself jumpin off thi trane when it wen fru anuthir set ov points in a wide bit ov tunil thi lenth ov witch I slitely overestimated, but apart from bangin a shoaldir on a wol & skinnin 1 nee I escaped unscaved. I climed a ladir, wokd a bit ov servis tunnil & took a servis elevaitir up 2 thi main floor levil. I foun maself in whot lukd like a jiant kemikil wurx, all pipes & big preshir vessils & leekin steem & funy smelz. Shurenuf, a qwik chek on thi kript & confirmd it woz a plastix rfinery.

  Aftir a lot of fancy & hily teknikil kriptin, sum wokin & climein ovir pipes & ducts & avoidin thi dodjier lookin shados I foun a otomatik frate elivaitir taikin vats ov sum sorta fertilizer up thi towr & hitchd a ryde up in that.

  Ma eers popt aftir 2 minits, & aftir about 5, & 10.

  Sumoar fancy kriptin got thi elevaitir 2 go a floar abuv whare it woz expectid; this woz as hi as it cude go. I got out in a sorta tol opin gallery whare a feerse coal wind blu & thi vew woz ov babil plantz formin a fretwurk ov narled branchis lettin in a spare icy lite.

  I let thi elevaitir tak itself bak doun a floar.

  Ther woz a piller about 100 metirs away witch supportd thi roof ov thi tol gallery. Thi 1 in thi uthir directshin woz twice as far away. I set off 2wards thi neerir 1.

  I woz stil only dresd in ma yewshil cloavs & this wind woz makin me shiver olredy, but then it had been fairly warm furthir down so mayb it woz juss thi suddeniss ov thi change. I wokd along thi gallery, btween thi silooetid babil & thi smoov ashlar ov thi towr’s barely curvd wol. Thi floar felt coald thru my shooz & I wishd I had a hat.

  Thi kript startid 2 get a bit vaig & unhelpful about thi layout ov thi fass towr @ aroun this levil. I juss had 2 hoap thi piller mite ½ a set ov stares in it.

  It didn. It had 2 sets ov stares in it, intertwynd in a dubil heelix like deenay.

  Didn seem 2 mattir whitch 1 I took. I startid climein.

  I went fass @ furst 2 try & warm up but thi bref juss wissld outa me & my legs turnd 2 jelly; I had 2 sit down & poot ma poundin hed btween ma nees b4 I cude continu, moar sloly.

  Thi steps went roun & roun & roun; pretti steep.

  I ploddid on & up, tryin 2 settil in2 a rithim. This seemd 2 wurk but I woz gettin a hel ov a hedaik. Luky I woz fit, not 2 menshin determind. (Not 2 menshin bludy stupid, it woz startin 2 okur 2 me.)

  Thi piller got 2 thi next storey — anuthir opin gallery - & didn stop; it went on up. Seemd 2 go on 4 a good ways yet so I stuk wif it. Thi stare case had no handrales & tho it woz a good cupil ov metirs wide it wude ½ been friteninly open & exposed on thi outir side if thi babil plants hadent bin hangin growin ol over thi outside ov thi towr. As it woz it woz stil prity friteninly exposd on thi uthir side, but thi best fing 2 do woz not 2 fink about it & sertinly not 2 luke.

  I kept climein.

  Anuthir levil. My hed woz hurtin lyk mad. I luked 4 thi piller but it wozent thare eny moar. Insted ther woz a hoal network ov twistid pillers, weevin this way & that wif hi-alt babil — thin weedy stuf — ol ovir it, coatin thi floar ov thi galery, nettin thi weev ov thi frettid stoan wol.

  I wandird, my feet trippin ovir thi babil, lookin 4 a strand ov stonework wif steps in it or on it so that I cude go hier, my vishin gettin dark @ thi edjis, my legs feelin bouncy & strange & sumfin howlin in ma eers that mite ½ bin thi wind & mite not.

  I doan no how long it woz b4 I foun thi spyer, fallin amungst thi babil, ded, crumplid, head shattered, skin dried, white bones pokin thru his neepads. I remember luk
in up & finkin he must ½ follin from thi opin-wurk seelin, & I saw his mask & thi cylinder on his bak but I just wanderd off agen, feelin like I woz wokin along this tunil coz that woz ol I cude c & it seemd like ours layter while I woz stil serchin 4 anuthir stareway or @ leest a doar or sumthin that I thot, Hey, mayb I cude yoos thi spyers geer! & I startid 2 turn roun & almost tript ovir him bcoz Id wanderd in a sirkil.

  Ther woz old brown blood dried on thi faice mask but it fel away like dark dandruf when I nokd it. Thi oxijin in thi tank wos coald & it felt like it waz freezin ma lungs but my hedaik startid 2 go & I wozen lukin down a tunnil ol thi time no moar.

  I finishd thi watir in his canteen, took his jaket, hat & torch & left thi poor buggir lyin thare.

  Thi stares wer in a reely obvyis place, just along from thi top ov thi piller Id climed.

  Thi lammergeiers’ roost woz on thi next levil. I got thare @ dusk & collapsed in a nest ov dry babil an hooj scratchy fevvirs. Thi don woke me & I startid investigaytin, endin up lookin down thi big shaft.

  I heer thi cruntchin njoyse.

  I swing thi torch roun aimin thi beem down thi tunnil; thi warm breeze cumin up thi deep blak shaft tugs @ my jaket. Thi torch beem juss disapeers in2 thi dark, swolod up.

  Sumthin cruntches agen, then thers a noyse ov sumfin cumin whisslin 2wards me.

  I doan ½ time 2 duk & I doan c whot hits me, but it bashis in2 my chest & noks me bakwards, thi bref goan Hoof! outa ma lungz. I feel myself start 2 go ovir thi edj ov thi shaft & grab wif 1 hand as thi lip ov stone skates under my bum. My hand misiz.

  I fol in2 thi blak frote ov thi shaft.

  Thi rore ov air bilds up aroun me, tearin thi mask off ma fayce.

  After a few sekinds I get my bref bak & I start screemin.

  EIGHT

  1

  She was a closed codex within a vast dark library whose floor was a valley, whose walls were cliffs, whose alcoves were hanging valleys; she was an ancient book, rich of smell, gravid with collected knowledge, huge and heavy with ink-thick illuminated pages and a cover of embossed leather, chased with metal and fitted with a lock for which only she possessed the key.