SIR

by R. J. Lewis

  I don’t want to pass them, especially in what I’m wearing. I go down the hill and to the river instead. I’ll return when they’ve had their smokes and gone back inside. Hopefully that won’t be long.

  I move through the trees, wincing because I’m barefoot. I should have grabbed my flip-flops. I’m just about to get to the water’s edge when I see a figure standing exactly where I want to be. I come to a stop. I think to turn back, but the figure is familiar, and he hears me coming. He turns his head back and looks at me.

  Aidan.

  My heart bursts. All that wondering and he’s here. Was he here this entire time?

  I can’t see his features from where I stand, it’s too dark, but I feel his stare. Just as quickly, he looks away, his gaze returning to the water.

  I have the urge to return because new Aidan is intimidating, but I’m also tempted to stay and see what happens. This is what I’m here to do. Connect with the man and bring him back. Plus, I really don’t want to bump into Nina in my Cookie Monster shorts and…well, I’m addicted to Aidan and have this uncontrollable urge to be near him.

  I take a few tentative steps forward and stop alongside him. I’m still a safe distance away. If his arm extended out, it wouldn’t touch me, which is sad just as much as it is comforting. I watch the water, too, but my gaze sweeps over him every few moments. He’s got suit pants on, his shirt from earlier is still on, still unbuttoned from the top, and he’s barefoot too, like he wandered out this far without intending to.

  My being warms to him. I let out a quiet breath, feeling high already just seeing him in the flesh again.

  But the longer I’m studying him, I’m noticing that something seems off about him. His stance is unusual, sort of unsteady.

  “You have a beautiful property,” I finally remark, and I mean it.

  He glances at me, blinking hard. Is he annoyed by me already? He doesn’t respond, and I take that as my cue to fuck right off. But I ain’t running, hell no.

  Instead, I move closer to the water, sinking my feet into the pebbles. The water laps over my feet, and I jolt suddenly.

  “Fuck!” I hiss. “That’s cold.”

  I grimace at my dirty mouth and glance at him apologetically. He’s not even looking at me, though. It’s like he hasn’t even heard me. Man is made of stone, and I may as well be invisible.

  I wade further into the water. Maybe I want to test him, catch his attention, make him say something to me. A deeper part of me just wants the shock of the cold to subdue my racing heart. The water reaches my knees. My arms are out as I steady myself. It would be embarrassing to fall over. I’m the type that’ll drown in ten inches of water no problem.

  I stop right there. Any further and I’ll be swept away, as tame as the flowing water is. It’s cold, but the cold is a welcome reprieve from the heat and from mourning a loss I’m not at all ready to admit defeat to.

  Whatever notice I was trying to pull from Aidan has not gone well. When I glance back, he’s already turned and moving away. My heart dips in my chest, and I sigh miserably. I have the urge to call for him, to shout, ‘Goddammit, remember me, care for me, I’m here and you wanted that so badly!’

  The words are stuck in my throat. I look away, blinking back the emotion building behind my eyes. It’s okay. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow, and he’ll have to talk to me then. Not a big deal, Ivy. We have time.

  I mope for a few seconds, recalling that handsome man’s words from earlier and wondering if I really do look like a brokenhearted fool. If so, that is so pitiful, and I need to cut that shit out. I straighten my spine, nodding to myself. Toughen the fuck up, chick.

  As I turn to wade back out, I underestimate how deep the water is. I lift my foot and the weight of the water causes me to lose balance. I fall forward, and it’s a slow fall. Kind of dramatic because both my hands have come out and I let out this short, high pitched squeal as I land hard. I’m drenched. My arms are completely submerged in the water. I’ve landed on my knees and they’re pulsing from digging into the rocks. My face has taken a hearty dunk, too. I gasp from the cold.

  I’m such a fucking idiot.

  It’s hard to get up. I slip again and dunk my face a second time. Just kill me now.

  This is humiliating. Please tell me he’s gone. I’ll drown in the shallow end of a river, that’s cool, so long as he doesn’t witness—

  I’m about to climb back to my feet again when a hand wraps around my arm and hauls me up. The grip is firm, not too hard. I catch sight of suit pants and a white shirt. Aidan’s dragging me back to shore in a tight grip. I can see him better from this close. I catch his profile; he’s frowning, teeth flaring, looking pissed.

  “Thanks,” I sputter out when we’re back to safety. Because leave it to me to make something as ridiculous as knee deep water a danger. “I don’t know what happened. I’m not usually this clumsy.”

  Honestly, who am I fooling?

  Aidan lets go of my arm and I’m looking down at myself. I’m soaked through. I cross my arms over my chest because I don’t have a bra and I think he can see everything if he wanted to cop a look, which I’m doubtful of.

  The silence stretches on. We’re both breathing heavily. He had to haul me across the water after all, and I’m not the lightest thing around, thank you chocolate Haagen-Dazs. He’s all wet, too. I’m sure he’s not happy about that and…I pause, shutting my eyes as a waft of his scent reaches me. It’s his cologne I used to love so much intertwined with…alcohol. I open my eyes, feeling warning bells go off as I look into his glassy eyes.

  “Why the hell did Steven hire you?” he suddenly growls, disturbing the quiet.

  He’s fuming. His eyes are narrowed as he stares me down.

  “You need an assistant,” I try to say.

  “That’s not my question,” he retorts. “Why did he hire you?”

  I suck in a breath. I want to rub my chest because it’s really hurting right now.

  He’s waiting for an answer.

  “Steven believes I’ll be able to help you,” I finally answer.

  “Help me with what?” he demands straight away. “I don’t need time management. I don’t need someone to hold my hand or hover over me. If you didn’t know by now, I’m a self-made man.”

  So pompous.

  I nod slowly. “That’s all very good, Mr West, but from what I hear, you’re a bit of a fucking mess.”

  He stills. I’m not sure at what he’s gone still for. At the Mr West remark, or me calling him a fucking mess.

  Have I blown my chances here already? If I have offended him then I’ll be bumping into Estella at the airport very shortly. We’ll have Haagen-Dazs together and exchange sob stories of our time here. She’ll say something bitchy about Nina, and I’ll agree, and then I’ll express I named a spider Philotes and it’ll all be fine.

  He’s staring at me hard, completely unreadable. He always did have the most indecipherable expressions. But before, he’d follow that expression up with a touch or a sweet remark. He’d reassure me. There is zero reassurance right now. Quite frankly, Aidan West is terrifying when he wants to be, and I think he’s drunk, too. He’s not a happy drunk.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” he says, and he means it.

  “Why?” I challenge quietly. “I just want to do my job.”

  “Your job shouldn’t be here.”

  “Why?” I repeat.

  His eyes harden. “Because you’re a complication I don’t want.”

  I don’t know what he means by that. A hopeful part questions if he means he’s feeling drawn to me on a base level. If he is, that means my Aidan is in there somewhere, reaching out to me. God, I hope so.

  “Well, I’m here,” I say, finding strength in my tone. “I’m not going anywhere, either, not until you march me out the door.”

  “You won’t last the week.” He makes it sound like a promise.

  I glance briefly at his lips, remembering his taste. Most importantly, remembering his ki
nk. I bite my lip, summoning the courage to respond, “I guess I’ll have to prove you wrong, sir.”

  His breaths still as he gapes at me, brows coming together slowly.

  I turn away and leave him standing there. I can feel his eyes on me. I wish I had the strength to keep going without that curiosity biting me in the ass, but I’m weak. I glance back, and sure enough, he’s watching me closely, eyeing my every move with that sunken chest that tells me he hasn’t yet taken another breath.

  I’m in such a hurry to get away from him, I forget that a bunch of people are on the patio, including insect Nina. Voices grow quiet as I draw close, and I pause, realizing my mistake. I stare at them for a quick beat, and then I sigh defeatedly. Turning back would look strange and going back to Aidan is out of the question. Like, hey, sir, I’m back after my dramatic exit—yeah, no way!

  I continue walking, keeping my head held high.

  Nina stares at me, lips curling in amusement as she looks me over, eyes lingering on my shorts. “This is the new assistant I was just telling you about,” she announces, stifling a giggle. I wonder what she’s said about me, but then again, everyone’s looking amused, so it was nothing good.

  “What the hell happened to you?” she prods.

  “Went for a dip,” I respond smoothly.

  “In your playschool clothes?”

  “Yes,” I answer flatly, surprising her. “I went for a dip in my playschool clothes.”

  I’ve left the insect speechless.

  I take a quick look around, catching faces. There are a few women here, and like Nina they look like they’ve got pointy objects stuck up their assholes. The men are different altogether. They’re amused, but also leering at my wet legs like they’re fascinated by them. Yes, that’s alright, stare away. I need the courage amongst these plastic goddesses.

  “Don’t they have such funny senses of style?” Nina drones on, giggling. “The thrift stores have no taste these days.”

  They. Referring to my “class” of people. Hot anger flows down my spine, stiffening it. Oh, man, I would slay this bitch in two seconds flat if I could. Instead, I bite the inside of my lip so hard, it bleeds.

  “Excuse me,” I say politely, scooting through the crowd. I’m already tired of being polite. I spent most of my life getting pushed around, and I’m worried my fuse is dangerously short, especially around this narcissist bitch.

  Nina steps in front of the door, blocking me. She’s got a cigarette still burning between her fingers and her hand is raised close to her head, like she’s posing. The smoke clouds up and around her. She looks really pretty, I won’t lie. I can see the allure. She knows she’s hot shit too because she’s so fucking smug. I still want to kick her throat in and pull her hair, and I’ve never had such violent thoughts before toward someone—except maybe my fourth grade bully, Samantha, because she had a Tamagotchi I would have gladly beaten a child with a crayon box for. I need to get rid of this bitch because she’s poison and she will ruin Aidan, and maybe even me at this rate.

  She gapes at me, this time making more of an effort to look me over. “What trailer park did you crawl out of?”

  The girls snort and laugh. So much for us women banding together despite our differences. No, I’m going to be ripped apart, aren’t I?

  “It’s probably called Meadow Springs,” a woman says, cackling. “Aren’t they all called that?”

  Nina smiles sourly. “Maybe we should drive you to one. Won’t you feel like you belong there instead, around your kind?”

  Calm down, Ivy. You don’t want to cop an assault charge just yet. Wait for something juicier.

  My brain is right. I should stay quiet, let them have their moment. I don’t belong here. I know that. I feel hurt and angry. I’m so angry, in fact, I can’t fight against the words springing to my mouth.

  I smile back, raising my brows. “If it means being away from you ice-cold bitches, I’d gladly hitchhike to Satan’s asshole.” Peering at her with a sterner look, I add, “Now move.”

  Nina’s face suddenly falls, and she looks wounded. Peering over my shoulder, she looks distressed. “Aidan! Your new assistant is abusing us!”

  I look over my shoulder, heart jumping. Aidan’s walking to us, eyes pinned on me.

  Nina hurries to him in dramatic fashion, her precious smoke still in her hand, like a prop she’s using to make her look more seductive.

  “Did you hear me?” she says, sounding emotional. “She called me a bitch, Aidan! Tell me you won’t have people like that working under our roof.”

  Our roof?

  There is no way this bitch is actually living here. I don’t want to know what that means. I look away, breathing harder. It’s not possible.

  “Hey man,” one of the guys says. “That’s really not what happened, Aidan—”

  “Shut up,” Aidan cuts in, voice sharp.

  The man shuts up.

  “Aidan,” Nina cries. “This isn’t right!” Then she turns to her bitch tribe. “He won’t let her stay after this. I’m certain of it! Isn’t that right, baby?”

  He doesn’t respond to her. The atmosphere shifts in his presence, like all warmth has been leeched out of everything he draws near to. I hear his movements behind me. Then he’s in front of me and sliding open the door. He peers down at me with that same annoyed/cold/you-don’t-belong-here expression.

  “Get in,” he orders.

  I step in and he follows. He slides the door shut just as Nina’s wails sound out. Oh, my fucking God, you’ve got to be kidding me. I turn to look at him, but he’s moving past me already. He goes to the door to my shack and opens it.

  “In,” he demands.

  I walk, feeling puny. I’m certain he’s going to fire me. I haven’t even worked here, haven’t even spent longer than ten hours under his roof, and I’m going to be sent home.

  I nod to myself as I think about Nina. Bitch is good. Really good. She saw me as a threat immediately and knew to spit me out of here like a wolf spits out a bone. Touché.

  I pass him and step inside. I hold in a hack because there is a fresh web across the door already and I’ve walked through it. Is this Philotes trying to kick me out, too?

  Well, I’ve had it up to here with mean bitches and eight-legged insects making me feel unwanted.

  I spin around to face Aidan. “Before you speak a word, she told me I belonged in a trailer park. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong. I used to live in one growing up and it was good, Mr West, fun even, but she said it condescendingly—”

  “Be quiet,” he retorts, cutting me off as he slams the door behind him.

  My oubliette is small, but it feels smaller with him in it. I suddenly feel territorial. This is my space, my medieval chamber.

  “I’d rather talk outside,” I tell him, anxiously. “Not in my home.”

  His brows go up. “Your home?”

  “This suite is my home until I leave—”

  “You’ll be leaving within the hour.”

  Panic swamps me.

  “That is unfair dismissal,” I argue. “I signed a contract—”

  “That I wasn’t present for—”

  “It’s still a contract!”

  There is no contract.

  He doesn’t need to know that.

  I stand taller because his eyes are narrowing, and I must be strong. “And you know what, Mr West? I’m not even on work hours, so what the hell are you firing me for?”

  “You don’t belong here,” he says again, voice growing. “I don’t want you here.”

  “You said that already. Is that what you told Estella to make her leave—”

  “I said nothing of that sort.”

  “Then why are you saying it to me?”

  His face darkens and he looks like he’s going to explode. “Because I feel like I’m bursting at the seams around you, and I don’t get it.”

  I go quiet, letting his words sink in.

  He begins pacing, that frustration of his is rolling
off him.

  I watch him closely. “Is it a bad feeling that I give you, Mr West?”

  He stops to look at me coldly. “Don’t mistaken me for a fool.”

  “How am I doing that?”

  “I know you,” he suddenly declares, eyes narrowing as he studies my reaction. “I must know you.”

  I do everything in my power to compose myself. “Why do you think that?”

  “I don’t think it.”

  “But you can feel it?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you feel exactly?”

  Brows furrowed, he looks away, frowning. “I feel like I hate you for some reason.”

  Hurt spreads through my chest. It’s the most acute feeling of sadness I haven’t felt before.

  He looks at me again, so much wrath in his expression. “What the fuck did you do to me?”

  I shake my head, weakly. “I never met you before today, Mr West.”

  In a way that’s true. I didn’t meet Aidan in this form before.

  “Don’t lie to me,” he retorts harshly. “What sort of game are you and Steven playing?”

  “I’m not playing any games,” I reply evenly. “I’m here to help you do your job, make sure you’re choosing the right investments, make sure you’re keeping to a routine, and most importantly, make sure you’re not going to piss away your fortune on stupid little bitches like Nina Hamilton.”

  Aidan looks at me in warning. “You need to watch your tongue, Miss Montcalm.”

  I go still. So, he does know my name after all. Which means he was learning about me sometime today.

  Despite appearing disinterested, he was curious.

  I need to smooth things over asap.

  “Look,” I say carefully, “Nina is right about one thing. I have a trailer-esque background, and don’t get me started on the public high schools I’ve attended. Yes, plural, Mr West, because I was not a very dainty teenager. However,” I plaster on the fakest smile I can muster. “I am really good at what I do.”

  “Which is what?” he asks.

  “I am loyal.” I fight the waver in my tone as I struggle to keep myself composed. “I won’t leave your side. Throw anything at me, I won’t budge an inch. I made that mistake once, Mr West, I left someone that needed me, and I’m not going to repeat it with you. I will make sure you’re up on time and ready. I will make sure our schedule runs smoothly. I will be at your beck and fucking call. Whatever you fucking need, I will be there.”