Last and Forever

by Brooke, Rebecca

  “What do you say to burgers?”

  No answer.

  I glanced over my shoulder but didn’t see him right behind me. Where could he have gone? We took my car. I stopped and turned fully around, looking to see where he went. Finally I found him standing stock-still in front of a store closer to the car.

  I started toward him, trying to see which store had caught his attention. As I got closer I realized exactly which one he was standing in front of—Rhodes Music Emporium. He spent many hours of his preteen and teenage years in that very store.

  Did he miss it? Music had always been his life. It flowed through his veins, his heart, his soul. How he found a way to live without it for the last nine months baffled me. I reached him and noticed his gaze zeroed in on a Fender in the window. Similar to the one his parents bought him as a child. I had to imagine he had guitars worth twice as much now.

  His face was pinched, his jaw tight.

  “Do you miss it?”

  He startled and sucked in a breath. “I didn’t hear you come back.”

  I turned to face the window, taking in what he was seeing. “I came back when I realized you weren’t right behind me.”

  He gave his head a shake and turned away from the window, as if the trance that held him captive let him go. “What did you want to know?”

  His feet were moving before I had a chance to catch up. I sped up, doing my best to reach him. “I asked if you missed it.”

  His features tightened back up again. “I do. All the time. It’s just not a road I think I’ll ever be able to travel down again.”

  Even the poetry of writing music still lingered in his words. Getting back to music might be Aiden’s final step in healing. If he was ever able to do it. But I knew he wasn’t ready yet and he may not be for a long time. For now I had to focus on today. Tomorrow was a whole new day.

  I linked my arm through him, exactly like we used to do as kids. “Let’s get something to eat.”

  He drew in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “Sounds good to me.”

  16

  Aiden

  Lexi had a way of seeing right through me, and I had no doubt she knew I wanted to change the subject. Thinking about music made bile rise in my throat. It was like a tug of war with my heart.

  Part of me knew that music was my whole life. All I ever wanted to do. Then there was the part of me that associated music with Christine. For the last nine months, that part of me had firmly pulled the middle of the rope to its side.

  Seeing that Fender sitting in the window woke the side of me that had been dormant for the last nine months, my grief shoving it down.

  I owned many guitars, but the Fender my parents gave me for my birthday was the one I treasured above all others. The one I wrote music on before I packed them all up and put most of them in storage. My chest still ached as we walked down the street. That didn’t stop me from following Lexi to the restaurant.

  She was the one person who’d been able to help me forget, if only for a little while. My heart felt a little lighter and there seemed to be more spring in my step when I was with her.

  It was a feeling I tried to hold on with both hands and if that meant sucking up and shaking off the sight of Rhodes Music, I’d do it. By the end of the night she’d probably make me forget all about my moment of uncertainty.

  I pulled open the door to the restaurant, holding it open for Lexi to walk through first. The volume of the place was louder than I expected. Tables were full of people, eating and laughing. I noticed eyes starting to follow us.

  Most people who’d seen me at my dad’s office had gotten used to me being in town. But I’d avoided other places and still found myself getting looks when I went out.

  I tried to ignore the stares as the hostess led us to a booth in the back. We took our seats and I picked up the menu to block out the eyes I was sure were still on us.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea?” I didn’t bother moving the menu before speaking.

  Lexi hooked her finger in the top of the menu and pulled it down so she could look me in the eye. “What’s not a good idea?”

  “Us coming out tonight.”

  “And what would you rather be doing sitting in your house watching TV and drinking way more than you should?” She rolled her eyes. “Pick something to eat. We’re going to enjoy the night. And people would stop staring at you if you didn’t act like a hermit.”

  “I don’t act like a hermit.”

  “Really, besides the movies last week, when was the last time you went out anywhere in town?”

  “I go out every week.”

  “Work and the grocery store don’t count.”

  I sighed and set the menu flat on the table. “Fine, I’ve become a hermit.”

  “Good, now that you’ve admitted that I’m right, can we order and enjoy the rest of the night?”

  She turned her attention to the menu and I couldn’t stop the deep, bellowing laugh that left my lips. It felt good to laugh. To let loose and just be. And I couldn’t stop. I kind of didn’t want to stop. I felt lighter when I was laughing.

  Lexi slowly lifted her head to watch me. “What’s so funny?”

  I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to get control. “Nothing. Just thinking some things never change.”

  She leaned forward on the table. “And that would be?”

  “You like to be right.”

  “I don’t like to be right.” She picked up her menu, pretending to study the words inside. “I can’t help that I always am.”

  Any laughter I had under control came roaring back to life. Lexi’s shoulders shook and I knew she was trying to hold back her own laugh.

  I shook my head. “Give it up.”

  That was all it took. She dropped the menu on the table and followed it down, burying her face in her arms. Her whole body shook. I was sure people were watching the two crazy people cackling in the middle of the restaurant, but for once I didn’t care; it was therapeutic.

  As the laughter died down, I brushed a tear from my cheek. I hadn’t laughed that hard in as long as I could remember. Lexi picked a napkin and dabbed under her eyes.

  “You realize that it wasn’t even that funny of a comment, right?”

  I leaned back in my seat. “Sure, but I really needed the laugh.”

  “I think we both did.” She pointed at my menu. “Now pick what you want to eat.”

  I scanned the menu. Silence settled over the table as we both made our choice for dinner. The waiter came by and took our orders, but he didn’t take the silence with him.

  It seemed as if Lexi and I suddenly didn’t know how to talk to one another. She twirled her glass around on the table.

  “Everything okay?”

  Her head popped up. “What was that?”

  “You okay, Lexi? Seems like you’re in another world.”

  “I’m not. I just zoned out for a minute.”

  Her words and expression said two very different things. “There may be many years where we didn’t see each other, but nothing about your expression has changed. So you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  Her brow arched. “Not really.”

  “Come on. Maybe I can help.”

  Her eyes darted all over the table, but never at me. “I’m not sure.”

  “Talk to me, Lexi.”

  It took a few moments, but she sighed and lifted her head. “I told Mitch I didn’t want to see him anymore.”

  Inexplicably my heart skipped a beat at this. The guy seemed like an asshole. Every time she talked about him, there were points I wondered why the hell she’d date a guy like that. She deserved much better. He didn’t even seem supportive of her career. But I didn’t want to say that, so I went with the obvious question.

  “Why?”

  She slouched back in her chair. “Ugh, I don’t even know why I said anything.”

  I chuckled. “Actually you haven’t said much.”

  The waiter delivered ou
r drinks, but I wasn’t letting Lexi off the hook that easily. Something was bothering her and for some reason it bothered me not to know what.

  Lexi picked up her wine and took as sip, while I ignored my drink and watched her, waiting for the moment she’d give in and tell me.

  “Fine.” She sighed. “He thought I was spending too much time with you. He doesn’t believe you spend that much time with someone unless there’s something else going on.”

  My mouth fell open. “He thinks what?”

  “I had the same reaction. I told him he was nuts. He doesn’t get that we’re friends and friends spend a lot of time together. Then I started to realize that wasn’t the only thing he didn’t get.”

  I almost blurted out what a moron he was, but again I kept my mouth shut. It seemed like she’d figured that out all for herself, she didn’t need my opinion to confirm it.

  “What else?” I asked simply to appease my own curiosity about the idiot. The only memory I had were flashes of him gushing about my music, but everything else was a blur from the one time I met him.

  “He doesn’t get how important the office is to me. Was always giving me shit for wanting to stay late to help someone’s pet.” She twisted the stem of the glass in her hand, staring into the liquid before her gaze came back to mine. “Even when I took you home from the bar, he thought I should call you a cab and hope for the best once you got home.”

  “Asshole.” I couldn’t keep my disgust for the little shit contained any longer.

  “Tell me about it.” She lifted the glass to her lips. She opened her mouth to say something else but shut it again.

  I was about to ask her about it when the waiter returned with our meals. Before I had a chance to ask, Lexi jumped in with her own question.

  “Working for your dad any better?”

  I scoffed. “I think he likes keeping tabs on me.”

  She stopped with her fork halfway to her lips. “Keeping tabs on you?”

  I grabbed the ketchup on the side of the table and put some on my plate. “Yeah, he stops in at least once a day to make sure I’m okay.”

  “He worries about you. Can you blame him?”

  I grabbed a fry and dipped it into the ketchup. “Not really. But”—I looked up at Lexi—“I think things are starting to get better.”

  The smile she gave me settled another piece inside me. It was like each one filled a hole that had been left behind. She understood me on a level I couldn’t explain. She knew what to say and when to say it.

  “I’m glad. I hope things keep getting better.”

  “Me too.”

  I put the fries in my mouth and picked up my burger, taking a bite. Another silence fell over the table, but this time it was the kind between friends. The one that didn’t need awkward conversation to break it up. We could finish our dinner in peace, enjoying each other’s company.

  Being around Lexi made me feel settled in a way I hadn’t felt in almost year. It made me finally want to dig out of the hole I’d been buried under and find a way to happiness again.

  17

  Lexi

  The sun blinded me the moment I stepped out the doors of the office. There were no patients scheduled for the next hour and for some reason I decided it was a good idea to surprise Aiden at the office for lunch.

  He told me more than once that he really hadn’t bothered to get to know anyone who worked there. Sure, he knew all their names. He was the boss’s son after all. But he’d never bother to really get to know any of them. Which meant he usually stayed locked away in his office talking to no one unless they needed something.

  The entire drive over I kept reminding myself that this was a good idea. Aiden needed to get out of the office. My mission to get him back to living his life again had been going well over the last six weeks. Between park visits with Chloe, dinners, and a few movies, I knew we were headed in the right direction.

  He wasn’t leaving the planning to me anymore. Which meant I didn’t have to drag him out of the house or convince him that we would have fun.

  I could also see the changes in his physical appearance. Not only had he replaced the plastic space holders with the actual jewelry and displayed his tattoos, but the dark circles beneath his eyes had disappeared. He didn’t seem to lack energy anymore. Even when Mrs. Cormack stopped in the office to pick up medicine for her dog, she mentioned the changes, and that he’d even gone back to running.

  The lot was only halfway full when I arrived. Most of the people out for lunch. I parked in a space near the modern looking building. It hadn’t been here when we’d graduated high school, but over the years, Mr. Cormack had increased his business, eventually needing a bigger office.

  The one-story structure had a glass wall on one side and modern smooth stone surrounding the rest. I glanced down at the scrubs I still wore and questioned my decision for the briefest of seconds before tugging on the handle of the glass door.

  A receptionist was seated at a desk directly to the left of the door.

  “Can I help you?”

  I walked over to where she sat. “Yes, I’m here to see Aiden Cormack.”

  She startled, almost like no one asked for him very often. It made me wonder how many people actually knew where he chose to work after he came back to Westlake.

  “Do you have an appointment?” She started thumbing through the calendar on her desk.

  “I don’t. I came to surprise him for lunch.”

  Just as she opened her mouth to answer, Mr. Cormack came in the front door. “Hi, Carly, any messages?” He seemed to notice me standing there. “Can I help—Lexi Watson, how are you?” He walked up and wrapped me in a hug.

  “I’m good. How are you?”

  “Good, good.” He stepped away and turned to the receptionist. “Carly, this is one of Aiden’s best friends from childhood, Dr. Lexi Watson. She runs the veterinary clinic down the street.” He spoke about it like a proud father.

  She inclined her head with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too.”

  Mr. Cormack took the stack of messages Carly set on the counter. “What brings you here?”

  “I came to see if I could steal Aiden for lunch. I know he doesn’t get out often.”

  Mr. Cormack wrapped an arm around my shoulder and turned me toward the interior door. “He’s gotten out a lot more since you’ve come back into his life.” He pulled it open and called over his shoulder, “Hold Aiden’s calls, he’ll be out for a while.”

  I shook my head as he guided me through the door. “I don’t want to interrupt him if he doesn’t want to go.”

  Mr. Cormack stopped. “I’m sure he does. I think he stays in his office to avoid the questions. And lately, he’s been coming out into the main area, interacting with people. The change has been tremendous.”

  It sounded very familiar to what his mom had said to me about a month ago. I still couldn’t imagine it all had to do with me. If anyone had pushed him the way I did, they would’ve gotten him to get out of the house.

  I almost said as much, but we arrived at an office door. The plaque outside the door read Aiden Cormack.

  Mr. Cormack stopped and faced me, placing a hand on each shoulder. “I know he probably hasn’t told you how much it means to have you around, but I’m going to tell you. Thank you. I honestly never thought I’d see my son smile again.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t take all the credit.”

  “You can. And you should. His mom and I did everything we could think of. Nothing worked. Not even for Jackson. But something about it being you made all the difference.”

  Heat raced up my neck. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I simply nodded and let him knock on the door before pushing it open.

  “Aiden, you have a visitor.”

  When the door was fully opened, I could see Aiden sitting behind a desk to the left of the room, but he wasn’t working. Instead he was looking out the window, his back to us.
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  “Damn, Dad, can’t I enjoy the peace for—” He spun away from the window. My heart slammed into my chest with what I saw. Aiden’s hair was a shaggy mess, exactly like I remembered seeing on his poster. The eyebrow piercing still in with his sleeves rolled up, exposing the tattoos winding up his forearms. “Lexi, what are you doing here?” He got up from his chair and came around his desk.

  “I thought maybe you’d want to get lunch.”

  “You two have fun.” Mr. Cormack winked and turned to leave.

  “Thanks, Dad. You make it sound like we’re heading for the prom.”

  My steps faltered. I’d wanted Aiden to ask me to prom, but he’d gone with Liz. I pushed the memory from my head. It had been a long time ago and so much had happened since then. But the more time I spent with Aiden, the more those little memories popped up, reminding me of why I’d left Westlake in the first place and only returned when he wasn’t home.

  “Just lunch.” I plastered a fake smile on my face as I tried to gain my bearings.

  His dad smacked his hand on the door and walked out, leaving Aiden and me alone.

  His brows drew together. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s great. I don’t want to mess up your day if you’re busy.” I glanced over at the huge pile of papers stacked on his desk.

  He followed my gaze. “Oh, that won’t take me long.” He bent over and whispered in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “Apparently when you stop being a hermit in your office people bring you stuff you should’ve done a while ago.”

  He straightened, rolling down his shirt sleeves, and grabbed his jacket off the hook by the door. I did my best not to focus on the way his chest muscles flexed when he pushed his arms into the sleeves. Instead, I forced myself to focus on what he said instead of what he was doing.

  “Why didn’t they bring it to you before?”

  He buttoned the suit jacket. “Apparently I wasn’t approachable before, so they only came by when they really had to.”