Heartless Few Box Set

by MV Ellis

  “What are you waiting for, a royal invitation? Come sit.” He sat. “So….” I looked at him expectantly, raising one eyebrow.

  He reached out to the coffee table near one end of the sofa and grabbed what appeared to be a menu, passing it to me. He didn’t break eye contact the whole time, which seemed weird. I wondered if there was something particularly meaningful about the food. Why else would he be staring at me that way?

  I looked down hurriedly, less because I was hungry or desperate to know what was on the menu, and more because I wanted to break the intense vibe between us. I took my time hemming and hawing over the options, although I had decided what I wanted pretty much as soon as I opened the menu. While I carried on with the theatrics, Gus returned with our drinks, slipping into the room undetected until he was right in front of us. We both startled slightly; I think we had each been lost in our own thoughts.

  Gus held out his tray. On it was one of the most elaborate-looking cocktails I had ever seen. He bent down to hand it to me, saying, “I call this the galloping unicorn. I would tell you what’s in it, but then I’d have to kill you.”

  He laughed. A melodious and tinkling sound. Even in laughter his accent came through, and it was sexy as all hell. He seemed like such a friendly and genuine person, I liked him a lot already, and I’d only just met him. I looked at the drink. It had pink, blue, and purple layers and was topped with some kind of fairy floss, Persian, I’d say at a guess. I took a hesitant sip, and oh my God it was off-the-scale delicious.

  “Gus, what is in this?”

  “I already said, sweet cheeks, a gentleman never tells.”

  I glanced briefly over to Luke noting that he looked a little pissed. What was his problem? Gus passed him his beer. I hadn’t heard him order it, but I guessed the Scotsman knew what he liked. It was some kind of funky European type that I had never even heard of. Luke was such a hipster, even though he claimed not to be. He looked back at me, his face expressionless.

  “You ready to order food?”

  I nodded, taking another sip of my unicorn cocktail. “Yeah, sure, no problem. I’ll take the mushroom risotto.”

  I was committed to carbicide now that I knew I didn’t have to worry about fitting into a bikini or sample sizes. I was unemployed; I could let it all hang out. Luke chose pizza. He and Arlo were lucky enough not to have to worry about what they ate. Assholes.

  “And what about movies. Have you decided on anything yet?” Gus directed his query to me.

  As Luke had said, I knew exactly what I wanted to watch, but I kind of felt foolish requesting the same movie over and over again. I had done it yesterday with Arlo too, not that he had been surprised.

  Luke raised an eyebrow, waiting. I looked back at Gus.

  “I don’t suppose you have access to the Breakfast Club, do you? Or St. Elmo’s Fire?”

  I saw a faint smile tug at the corners of his mouth and guessed that Luke had already briefed him on my strange movie preferences. It was stupid, but my mom had been obsessed with the Brat Pack and had watched those movies on repeat when I was a kid.

  They were one of the few positive connections to her I still had.

  Gus nodded. “I sure do, both of them in fact. Which one would you like to watch first?”

  “The Breakfast Club, please.”

  Luke thanked Gus, who headed over to the huge wooden door, closing it behind him, leaving us alone in the murky light. I stole a sideways glance at Luke as he stared dead ahead. He really was beautiful. They both were, him and Arlo, but even though they were identical, I’d always seen something in Luke that wasn’t the same in Arlo.

  Arlo gave off heavier or darker energy, and something about Luke’s sweeter, gentler nature made him both more attractive to me, and more off limits. That didn’t stop me from wondering about sex with Luke, however. Given how hot it was with Arlo, I often contemplated how amazing it would be with Luke, with real feelings involved. Of course, I was never going to find out, but a girl could dream, and I frequently did. Those dreams always had me waking up wet and wanting and left me disappointed that the reality was they were never going to be more than figments of my imagination.

  I didn’t know why, maybe because I was thinking that way, but something made me shift down the couch to curl into Luke’s side. His body stiffened momentarily before he brought his arm around me to rest on my waist. I felt tired suddenly. It had been a hectic twenty-four hours, both physically and emotionally—coming back from shooting overseas, being fired and dumped, the weirdness between Luke and me, I hadn’t had much sleep—today of all days.

  I yawned, feeling my lids instantly grow heavier.

  “Tired, Marns? You sure you’re up to watching a movie? We can go if you like.” As if I was going to ruin an evening he had so carefully and thoughtfully planned.

  “No, no, no. I’m okay. A little tired, yes, but I want to watch the movies.”

  As if by magic, the credits started on The Breakfast Club. A short way into the movie, Gus brought our food. I ate mine, bowl-in-hand, leaning against Luke as he devoured his slices. I watched each movie transfixed, as though for the first time, which was ridiculous because I’d probably seen them both upward of a thousand times.

  I knew every line said, every expression on every character’s face, and pretty much all there was to know about both movies, having researched them to the millionth degree in the years since my parents died. As the end credits of St. Elmo’s Fire started, fat tears began to roll down my cheeks. I said and did nothing, sitting dead still, hoping Luke wouldn’t notice. Of course Luke being Luke he did notice. Had it been Arlo that I was with, I would have been in the clear. He probably wouldn’t have noticed if I'd been abducted by aliens.

  Thirteen

  Luke

  I honestly didn’t know how Marnie could watch those movies again and again the way she did. I’d seen them enough times in her company over the years to know how dated and cliché they were by today’s standards, not to mention how boring it was to watch the same thing ad infinitum. I turned to her to express my views on the matter for at least the one-hundredth time since I’d known her, and even in the murky light of the dimly lit theater, I could see she was crying. Shit.

  “Hey, Marns, what’s the matter, babe?” I had seen her cry a couple of times over the years for various reasons, but it had never ceased to amaze me how much I felt it. It killed me to see her hurting. I reached out to stroke her cheek, but she swatted my hand away, though the tears kept on coming. I waited, watching as she made no attempt to stem the tide.

  “I know about you and Arlo.”

  Marnie snapped her head toward me at record speed, looking confused.

  “I know what happened today with you and Arlo. I was there. I saw London right afterward. Then I spoke to him. Well, I didn’t so much speak to him as tear him a new one. But either way, I know. And I’m sorry.”

  Marnie looked at me as though I was something she stepped in on the sidewalk.

  “Sorry? Why the fuck would you be sorry?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Which part don’t you understand? It’s a pretty simple question. Why. Are. You. Sorry? You made no secret of the fact that you didn’t approve of what Arlo and I had going on. You of all people should be glad it’s over.” The hard glint in her eyes almost scared me. Despite the tears, she seemed so detached.

  “Listen, I’m not gonna lie. I always thought you were too good to be treated the way you were by Arlo. I hoped you’d one day see that, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy to see you upset over him either.”

  Out of the blue, Marnie shot to her feet and whirled around to face me. The fury radiating from her was intense.

  “Oh my God, Luke, you’re a jerk. It clearly runs in the family.” She swiped at her cheeks rapidly, brushing away some of the tears but not stemming the tide.

  “What did I do?” I genuinely had no idea what the fuck was going on.

  Marnie opened and closed her mou
th a few times, as though she was about to speak, but then seemed to change her mind, shaking her head vigorously, clamping her jaw firmly shut.

  “You know what? Don’t worry about it. If I need to explain, I’m probably wasting my breath. I think I should just go.” She fumbled around on the floor in front of the couch for her purse.

  “Thanks for the dinner and the movies. This place is—” She was already heading for the door. I scrambled to follow suit.

  “Wait, Marnie! What the hell?” I reached for her, closing the gap between us. She stopped in her tracks, looking at my hand on her shoulder as though it was on fire.

  “I need to leave, Luke. Let go.”

  “I don’t understand what’s going on, Marnie.”

  “You don’t need to understand. It’s none of your business.”

  “Bu—”

  “No, Luke.” She took off again, pushing open the big heavy door to the theater with a slow swoosh. I followed closely behind, and we both sped past a startled-looking Gus who was holding a tray containing our next round of drinks.

  I mouthed “Sorry” his way and continued after Marnie who was taking the stairs two at a time. I caught up to her as she struggled with the large heavy door at the entrance of the bar, pushing and shoving in frustration. I stood watching her futile attempts. Deliberately not helping.

  “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” I addressed her back.

  “There’s nothing to tell.” She addressed the door.

  “Then look at me.”

  “No.”

  “Marnie.”

  She turned around slowly, and for the first time I understood what people meant when they said they were gutted. I felt like someone had reached inside me and torn out not just my heart but all my internal organs. Marnie appeared so tough on the face of it. She kept her emotions on lockdown, always so careful to keep her features in check, but not now. She seemed to visibly crumble before me, more tears flowing than I thought was possible.

  I stretched out my arms and drew her into a hug. I was prepared for her to push me away, tell me to go, mind my own business, but she didn’t. Instead, she slipped her arms around my waist, clinging to me as she sobbed. I held her that way for a long while, swaying slightly, rubbing her back, and inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo. I could have stayed that way forever. It was Marnie who pulled back first.

  “I’m a fucking mess. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. You never need to apologize to me, Marnie. I got you. Always. Are you gonna tell me what has you so upset, if it’s not the bullshit with Arlo?”

  She drew a ragged breath, then looked up at me, her raw emotions visible on her face.

  “Mia’s been gone five years and it still hurts like it was yesterday. I miss her so fucking much.” Fuck.

  “Oh shit. I can’t believe I didn’t remember. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Why would you keep track of my shit?” She sounded completely deflated. Hearing her speak that way was like a sucker punch to the guts.

  “What? It’s one of the most important things in your life. You’re one of the most important people in mine. Why wouldn’t I remember?”

  “It’s okay, Luke, you don’t have to do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Blow smoke up my ass. I’m upset, but I’m not stupid.”

  What? Where did she even get these ideas?

  “I’m not blowing smoke.” I held her lightly by the shoulders, looking into her eyes, willing her to do the same to me. She obliged. Good.

  “Whatever.”

  “No, not whatever. You know you mean the world to me, right?” I held her gaze. I wanted her to see the truth in my eyes.

  “Is that why you brought me on this pity ‘date,’ thinking it would help me get over Arlo?” Where she usually went to great lengths to hide her emotions, she made no effort to conceal her contempt for me. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to be on the receiving end of such disdain.

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “No. That’s not what’s going on here. Not even close. First, this isn’t a date, obviously. It’s just friends hanging out.” She looked at me like I’d slapped her in the face. I carried on. “Secondly, the last thing I’d ever do is pity you. You’re one of the strongest, most inspiring people I’ve ever met.”

  Her look of hurt turned to surprise.

  “Thirdly, if this were a date, it would be my dream date.”

  Surprise morphed into shock. She wasn’t the only one startled by my revelation. My words had even caught me off guard. Not because they weren’t true, but because I had in no way been planning to say them before they’d slipped out of my mouth.

  “What?” She was leaning back against the door, head tilted back to look me in the eye. I was pretty sure she had no idea how she affected me. How that look from her was enough to pull the rug out from under me. To set the cat among my internal pigeons. Not breaking eye contact, I shifted slightly, caging her as I leaned my forearms against the door. I lowered my head so that my lips grazed the bottom of her earlobe and my breath caressed her neck. I felt her body jolt toward mine.

  “I don’t dream, but when I do, it’s about you. I don’t date, but when I do, I want it to be with you.”

  “Luke, I—”

  “You don’t have to say anything. In fact, don’t. Don’t say anything. I don’t know why I just said that after all these years. Ignore me.” I pushed away from the wall and took her by the hand.

  “Come on, I’ll get you a cab.”

  “No.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Will you stay with me?”

  “I don’t thi—”

  “Please, Luke? I need you.”

  I didn’t take that admission lightly. Marnie wasn’t someone who asked for help. She was stoic and self-reliant, and apart from her apparent obsession with Arlo, she never seemed to want anything from anyone. It must have been hard for her to ask me, and I knew she really meant it. I turned to look at her, and when I saw the vulnerability in her eyes, I just about crumbled. I couldn’t deny her anything she wanted or needed. There was just no way.

  “Okay, let’s get you home.”

  The relief on her face made my heart soar. The night had been nothing if not an emotional roller coaster—no emotion had been left unexperienced—joy, pain, sadness, glee, regret, optimism, lust, to name a few.

  As we entered Marnie’s apartment, she led the way inside, turning to me as she walked into the open concept living area.

  “Thanks for coming back with me. Sorry for being so lame. I just… I don’t know. I feel….” Vulnerable. She didn’t say it, but she looked it. Heart-crushingly fucking vulnerable.

  “You don’t need to thank me. There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than here.”

  Marnie nodded slowly, causing her sleek, sharp bob to swish back and forth.

  “Thanks, anyway. Can I get you something? A nightcap, maybe? We didn’t get to drink that next round of drinks Gus made for us.” She took a few paces and reached out to open the refrigerator door before peering inside hesitantly.

  “I have… vodka, and… olives. That’s it. You wanna do shots?” She was nothing if not the quintessential model. There was never any decent food in her apartment.

  “I’m fine thanks, babe. I don’t think shots are the best idea for either of us right now.”

  “You’re probably right, but I’m gonna have one anyway. Toast Mia.”

  “Oh, okay, well then I’ll have one with you. You can’t do a toast like that alone.” She nodded again, and her shoulders slumped downward. I knew she was hurting, but I didn’t know what I could do to help, apart from being there and dropping shots.

  I watched her as she poured two large drinks and slid one across the countertop to me. She raised hers to her lips, but before knocking it back, she closed her eyes. She muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t make out, then
reached down to the neck of her top and gripped the chain I had never seen her without, pulling it upward to reveal a locket dangling from the end. She kissed it, letting it dangle again before throwing the shot back in one gulp. I followed suit. Marnie grimaced at the taste of the clear liquid going down her throat. I had some sympathy there. It wasn’t the smoothest tasting liquor, but I guessed it had served a purpose.

  Marnie wiped the stray drips of vodka from her lips with the back of her hand, stiffening my dick instantly. I had known when I’d agreed to come back with her that it was a bad idea, but now as I stood there, cock at attention and Marnie staring at me as though daring me to do something, I realized just how phenomenally bad it really was. This wasn’t my usual MO. I was calm, rational, measured. At that point, I felt like none of those things. I was hovering on the brink of throwing away the distance between us I’d worked so hard to maintain all these years.

  Not that I’d truly wanted to stay away from her, or us to stay away from each other. In fact, the reality was the complete opposite. I wanted everything with Marnie that I shouldn’t have wanted and could never have. I pushed away from the counter I was leaning on, strolled into the main living area, and sat down on the largest couch. I needed some space. I’d already revealed more about the way I felt about her than I had ever wanted to, and I had to nip whatever was going on between us right now in the bud before it got even more out of hand.

  Marnie seemed to have other ideas. She shrugged out of her jacket and placed it on the countertop before walking toward me. I tried and failed not to notice how hot she looked in a simple silky top and skinny jeans. The fact was, she looked hot in anything, and, I was sure, even hotter in nothing. Why did my brain keep going there? Where my brain went, my dick followed. My hard-on showed no signs of calming anytime soon.

  Marnie toed her feet out of her shoes and curled up on the sofa next to me like a pretzel. For someone so tall, with such long limbs, she was good at making herself small. It was something I had seen so many times and never really thought about in the past, but it was true. She was always doing it. Diminishing herself, either physically or with words. Always trying to take up less space. Be less. It was as though she didn’t believe she was entitled to the same airspace as everyone else. Why the hell was that?