A Lot Like You

by Lane, Soraya

  She looked in on Harrison again quickly before she left, but he was still sleeping and she didn’t want to disturb him. Normally she’d never have left him to wake up without her, but he’d had an amazing night and he’d gotten on like a house on fire with Nate. With the entire family, in fact.

  She pushed away a familiar, sickening feeling of guilt and squared her shoulders. His uncle. Nate was Harrison’s goddamn uncle, and here she was keeping the truth from everyone. It had all seemed so clear when she’d decided to keep Harrison a secret from his father, but cracks were forming, and she didn’t know what the hell to do to make things right.

  Chapter 11

  Chase spread the bagels with cream cheese and looked around for the to-go cups Nate usually kept stashed away. When he found them he flicked the machine on and put the coffee in the filter.

  “I know you’re gonna laugh at me, but I couldn’t stop thinking last night that Harrison kinda looked—” Nate paused, coming around to lean against the counter beside the coffee machine. “Like you did as a kid. Like we both did.”

  Chase tightened the filter arm and turned to stare at his brother. He what? “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  He knew that look on Nate’s face, knew when his brother was going to go like a dog with a goddamn bone. Chase sighed and resisted the urge to slam his fist into something. When it came to Hope, he jumped straight into the defensive; always had, always would. But Nate was talking the same way he had when he’d suspected Stacey of being a gold digger.

  “Do you know anything about the kid’s dad?” Nate asked.

  Chase went back to making the coffee. “She was married and the guy turned out to be an asshole by the sound of it. I was hardly gonna ask her for details.”

  Nate folded his arms, expression serious. Classic Nate. “And you’re certain the husband was the boy’s father?”

  “Fuck!” Chase swore, burning his hand on the side of the machine. He glared at his brother. “Leave it, Nate. Just goddamn leave it, okay?”

  “I’m just sayin’,” Nate said, shrugging. “He looks a lot like you did as a kid. Just go check out some old pics if you don’t believe me.”

  Chase finished making the coffee, stirring in some sugar and then putting the lids on. He didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was bullshit.

  “Maybe you should work out when you guys did the wild thing,” Nate suggested, his palm closing over Chase’s shoulder for a second. “I’m guessing you used protection, but you know, mistakes happen.”

  Chase stared at the coffee machine. They hadn’t used protection. Twice in his life he hadn’t, and both times had been with Hope. “I think you’re barking up the wrong tree,” Chase said, balancing the coffees one on top of the other and then grabbing the bagels, refusing to even consider what Nate was saying. “Hope wouldn’t do that to me, and the fact the kid looks like me? Dark hair and dark eyes doesn’t mean he belongs to me, Nate. This is just you being all overprotective like you always are when it comes to family.”

  Nate shrugged. “So ask her then.”

  “No, I’m not going to go ask her out of the blue if I fathered her kid.” Chase shook his head. “Just look after him till we get back, and keep your stupid theories to yourself. And don’t take him riding. I want him to like me and taking him down to the horses is gonna be my thing.”

  So they hadn’t used protection. So what? They were both clean and last night she’d told him that the only other person she’d been with was her husband. Besides, Hope had been on the pill back then, he knew that for a fact, and she never would have let him go bare if she wasn’t. But… He frowned. Harrison was four, and they’d been together…

  Screw Nate. He knew Hope and he would trust her with his life. She would never keep something like this from him. Never.

  * * *

  “How are you getting on?”

  “I’ve been monitoring them, taking some notes. They’re definitely close to being ready.”

  Chase nodded and passed her the bagel, then coffee.

  “Thanks. Just what I needed.”

  Hope took a long, slow sip of coffee and he watched her, wondered how the hell he’d bring it up if he did decide to ask her.

  “I’ve drunk more alcohol with you this past week or so than I’ve had in months,” she said. “In fact, make that years.”

  “Head thumping?” Chase asked with a laugh.

  “I’m not a seasoned whiskey drinker like you.” She took another sip, then set her coffee down and reached for the bagel.

  “And I’m not exactly sure that it’s something I should be proud of.” Chase followed her lead and took a bite of his bagel, swallowing it down as he stared at the herd. They were in the field closest to the yards, grazing on long grass and looking content, just how Hope had wanted them.

  They stood in silence while they ate. Hope moved a few steps farther down the fence line, her eyes trained expertly on the cattle, and he let her study them without interfering.

  “We’ll start with the first lot soon, and from what I’m seeing I think they’ll all be ready within twelve hours.”

  Chase nodded. “You tell me when and where you want me. I’ll do what I’m told.”

  Their eyes met and they both laughed. “I’m glad it’s not just me with the filthy mind,” Hope said.

  “Takes one to know one.” Chase stared at her, could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed deep. He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them out of trouble; what he wanted was to grab hold of Hope and take her right there on the grass, but she was in work mode and what they were doing was too important.

  “I think I’ll head back to the house soon and take Harrison home. We could be a few hours down here once we start, depending on how things go, and I need to get him dressed. I brought clean clothes in case we stayed.”

  “He’ll be fine up there with Nate,” Chase told her. “Ryder and Chloe will be hanging around, so there’ll be plenty of people to keep him entertained. I’ll flick Nate a text and tell him your overnight bag’s in my room.”

  Hope looked relieved. “You’re certain? It will be kind of hard to get someone at short notice on a Sunday, so I’d sure appreciate it.”

  “I’m sure.” Chase did reach out for her this time, catching her hand. Her surprised eyes met his, but she didn’t pull away. “Hope, Nate said something to me this morning that’s kind of playing on my mind.”

  Her fingers tightened against his. “What’s that?”

  “I don’t even want to ask you, but he had this stupid idea that Harrison could be my son.”

  Hope pulled back from him, letting go of his hand. Her smile was long gone, her arms folded across her chest as she put distance between them.

  “I shouldn’t have said anything,” Chase muttered, reaching for her again only to be rebuffed. She angled her body so he didn’t connect when he tried to wrap an arm around her, wanting to draw her in. Why the hell had he listened to Nate? “Can you forget I even said anything?”

  She let him draw her into his arms, but she was stiff. The night before, she’d molded into him, making it impossible to tell where his body ended and hers began, her body like a snake wrapped around his. Now it was like hugging a corpse.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Hope pulled back. “Chase, it’s been great seeing you again. We’ve had a lot of fun. But once I’m done here…”

  “What?” he demanded, refusing to release her hand. “You’re going to leave and I’ll never hear from you again like last time? Is that it?”

  “It’s been fun,” she said, never meeting his gaze. The electricity between them was palpable, but it was no longer fuelled by desire; now it was anger. Pure, raw anger.

  “Yeah, it’s been fun,” he growled. “And there’s no way I’m letting you just run away from me this time. Not again.”

  “Let go of me, Chase,” she commanded, yanking her hand away from him. “You’re hurting me.”

 
; He released his fingers, never taking his eyes from her face. “You’re angry at me, I get that. I should never have asked about Harrison. It’s none of my business.”

  “What we did back then? It was just sex.” She shrugged, finally raising her eyes. “We were great friends and we did the wild thing. Just like last night. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “To hell it doesn’t.” If he’d been angry before, now he was pissed.

  Hope started to walk and he followed, hot on her heels. He strode past her and then ground to a halt, blocking her path. Chase stared down at Hope, not giving her the chance to look away. His body was so tense he was certain he was about to start trembling, the desire to grab hold of her and just shake some sense into her almost overwhelming. He balled his fists at his sides, moving closer up into her space. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, should have kept his mouth shut instead of letting what Nate had said get to him, but he’d started it now and he wasn’t going to back down. Hope had rocks in her head if she thought for a second he was going to just let her go.

  “Don’t make out like us sleeping together was just some random act,” Chase growled out. “We both know it was way more than that, so don’t even try to pretend otherwise.”

  Hope’s eyes filled with tears as she blinked, turning her head slightly away from him. But Chase was having none of it. He reached out and cupped her chin, forcing her head up so their eyes were locked again. He didn’t want to hurt her, touched her just firmly enough so she had to do as he commanded, because he wasn’t letting her walk away from this discussion, not this time. It was time they had it out—the way they’d behaved back then had been idiotic, but they’d been young. They didn’t have that excuse anymore.

  “We were friends and we did something stupid. Is that honestly what you believe?” Chase ground his teeth together, trying to keep his anger in check. “You don’t think there was anything more to it than that?”

  The tears had started to fall now, plopping down her cheeks. Chase refused to acknowledge them—she wasn’t the only one hurting just because she was the one crying. When he’d finished with Stacey, he’d been pissed off, but the way he felt right now about Hope? Blood was pumping through his body, his heart was pounding, the anger welling inside of him only matched by the pain of actually giving a damn about Hope.

  “Nate was right,” she whispered, taking a visible deep breath before pushing him away. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed back, forcing distance between them. She looked like she was struggling to breathe.

  “What did you say?” Anger, visceral and burning hot, started to pound through him. What the hell had she just said?

  Hope started to turn and he grabbed her by the arm, moving around so he was directly in front of her again. “You don’t say something like that then just walk off.”

  She kept her eyes downcast, her body shuddering as she cried.

  “Hope?” Chase bellowed. “What the hell are you trying to tell me?”

  “Harrison is yours, Chase. He’s your son.” The tears stopped, replaced by a hollow, glassy-eyed look. “You want to know what I’ve been doing all these years? I’ve been pretending that your son belonged to another man, because I knew the last thing you’d want to do would be settle down and have a family. I kept this from you because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, so don’t you dare look at me like that.”

  Chase let go of her, heart pounding. All he could see was red—burning anger, fury, as Hope stood there like she hadn’t just changed his whole fucking life in less than a minute. How dare she? What the hell made her think she could just make a decision like that?

  “Bullshit,” he muttered, more trying to convince himself than accuse her of lying. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t believe for a second that you’d keep something like that from me.” He’d trusted Hope like she was family. Always.

  She shook her head, slowly, her shoulders falling forward. “He’s yours, Chase. Now you know the truth.” Her arms were folded around her body, like she was trying to stave away the cold. Only the day was warm, the sun shining brightly down on them.

  “I trusted you,” he ground out, angrily running his fingers through his hair. “I trusted you, Hope. I always goddamn trusted you and that’s how you repay me? By keeping from me the fact that I had a child with you?”

  “I didn’t want to get pregnant, Chase,” she whispered. “You think I wanted to find out that our one night had ended up with me pregnant and alone when I was so excited about my career? I didn’t plan any of this, and I did what I thought was right to protect everyone. You, me, our families…”

  “Don’t you dare.” He turned, spinning on his heel to get as far away from her as possible before he did or said something he’d regret. He stormed off a few paces before marching straight back at her, fists bunched again. “Don’t you ever put words in my mouth again, Hope. I sure as hell didn’t want a family and a white picket fence back then, and I don’t now, but I wouldn’t have turned my back on you or my son, and don’t you dare pretend otherwise.”

  Chase left her standing there, tears streaming down her cheeks now. She dropped to the ground as he turned, walking away from her, her cries audible as he put as much distance between them as possible. Hope had been the one person in his life outside of family that he’d truly trusted, the only woman he’d ever let close to him. And she’d betrayed him like no one in his life had done before. Hope had done this to him. Hope.

  And he had a son.

  He was a goddamn father and had been for the past four years without even knowing it.

  Chase slammed his fist into the door of a stable as he passed, opening his palm and smacking it again. “Fuck!” His yell echoed through the barn, startling the horses inside.

  There was only one thing he knew for sure; he would never trust Hope again, and there was no way he was ready to be a dad, not matter how cute the kid was. Even after the fun night he’d had with him.

  He was an idiot for not putting two and two together the moment he’d met her son—of course she hadn’t left college, met a man, and ended up barefoot and pregnant within weeks or months of them parting. This was Hope—top of her class, driven, passionate Hope. She’d had a plan, and that plan hadn’t involved becoming a mom at twenty-six. Just like his had never been to be a father before he was good and ready.

  He stopped walking, his breath ragged as he tried to process what had just happened. Chase leaned over the railings that bordered the cattle yard and shut his eyes, wishing to hell Hope had never walked back into his life.

  But there was only one thing running through his head right now: Did he want the kid or not? Harrison might not have been raised as his son, but he was a King, and that meant he was Chase’s flesh and blood, that he deserved everything the King name meant. It wasn’t the poor kid’s fucking fault that he was born a bastard, and Chase couldn’t exactly live with himself if he ignored him, knowing that his own son was out there in the world.

  “Chase.”

  Chase ground his teeth together when Hope’s soft, familiar voice washed over him.

  “Leave me alone,” he barked out.

  A hand closed over his shoulder. “Chase, please.”

  His lips curled back as he dug his fingers hard into the railings beneath them. “Back the fuck off, Hope. I mean it.”

  Her hand disappeared, the softness of her touch gone as quick as it had arrived. Chase listened to her move away, waiting, not wanting to so much as see her traitorous face.

  “You know what, Hope?” he said, changing his mind and furiously turning around, looking into her eyes, eyes that he’d once wished he could look into every single night. “Back then, I loved you.” There, he’d said it.

  He watched as she gulped, her throat moving as she hugged her arms around herself even tighter than before, looking more fragile girl than strong, successful woman. “And now?” Her voice was barely audible.

  “Now?” He laughed, a cruel
noise that cut deep between them. “I don’t know you at all, Hope, so I sure as hell can’t love you. Because the Hope I thought I knew wasn’t such a complete bitch. But then I never really knew you, did I?”

  Chase knew he’d hurt her, but whatever pain he was causing her was nothing on how he was feeling right now. She’d made a decision for him that she’d had no right to make, and the only way he could take control was to figure out how the hell he was going to deal with Harrison.

  Harrison King.

  His own son had been living in Texas for weeks, and he hadn’t had a goddamn clue.

  Chapter 12

  There was nothing she could do. Hope stood and watched Chase walk away, her hands shaking as she curled her arms even tighter around herself.

  She’d never wanted to keep Harrison a secret from him, but telling him had seemed impossible at the time, and then as time went on it had become even harder. But his words cut deep. He was Harrison’s father and she shouldn’t have kept it from him, but if she had her chance all over again? Damn it. Maybe she would have done the same. She could say, hand on her heart, that her son was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her marriage, losing the ranch, everything she’d been through—it was nothing compared to the thought of not having Harrison. She loved him more than anything, and she’d never wanted Chase to have to be a dad when he didn’t want to, feeling forced into playing a role he hadn’t asked for. So she’d come home, reunited with a guy she’d known since they were kids, let him think she’d gotten pregnant straightaway, and everything had seemed okay. Like she’d made it all work. Until the day Harrison had been born, hardly a month after their wedding, and she’d blurted out the truth to him. She shook her head, hating going back in time, to the day her husband had started to treat her like the liar she was.

  She reached into her pocket for her phone, stared at the screen as her mom’s number ran through her head. Hope bit down hard on her lip, staring into the distance and refusing to shed more tears. For the first time in her life, she was alone. Her mom was no longer on the end of a phone line, waiting to hear from her only daughter; her dad was long passed now, and her husband had betrayed her. She’d slowly lost contact with most of her friends except one, been busy being a working mom trying to make a future for herself and Harrison, and her former best friend? She shook her head and stared after him. She’d just lost him, too. Chase had once been her rock, the one person in her life she’d truly loved and trusted, and instead of repaying that trust he’d given her, she’d betrayed him.