“Okay,” he whispered.
Carol stopped short. “What?”
He smiled. “Okay. You’ve convinced me. I’ll go wherever you want to go.”
Carol leaned against the couch. She didn’t feel victorious. “You’re just saying that. You think if you give in now, I’ll forget about it later.”
“I don’t think that. Maybe a part of me has always been a little bit curious about what you do. Maybe I just want to go to Africa.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I’m planning a trip for the summer of ‘82. That gives you about eighteen months to do what you need to do,” Carol announced.
“Eighteen months.”
She smiled. “And don’t think you can get out of it.”
“I wouldn’t even try. Now, eat your beans before they get cold.”
Carol obediently swallowed a mouthful of beans, too pleased with herself to care about the food. She didn’t even feel hungry anymore. All she wanted to do was pull out her books, her maps, and her various phone numbers and get to work.
“It’s going to be great,” she promised.
Chapter 11
Kenya, Africa
1982
“I can’t move,” Daniel muttered. “Seriously, my legs don’t work. I would worry that they were gone, but they’re aching too much.”
Carol laughed lightly. “Tomorrow is Sunday. You can sleep all day, if you want.”
“No, I can’t. By seven it’ll be too hot to stay in bed. And loud. I think I’m being eaten alive.”
Carol sat up and straightened the mosquito netting. “Better?”
He grunted. “It barely works.”
He tried to straighten his legs, turning over on his side to face Carol. She looked as exhausted as he felt, but he was loath to go to sleep. The quiet hours they spent together after dark were precious to him—the sooner he fell asleep, the sooner he lost them.
“I can’t believe we’re leaving at the end of the week,” she whispered.
“I can’t believe we’ve been here for only three weeks. It feels more like three months…or three years.”
“Do you regret coming?”
“Not a bit. But we’re really going to be feeling it tomorrow night if we want to get the roof finished tomorrow.” He brushed the hair away from her forehead. “They probably won’t let you leave anyway.”
She caught his hand, bringing his fingers to her lips. “Me? They’re in love with you. Everybody is. We weren’t supposed to be able to finish the entire hospital in under a month.”
Daniel rubbed his hip. “It may have been best to stick with your timetable. I think we pushed ourselves too hard.”
“Don’t you just want to stay here?”
“No,” he answered honestly. “I miss showers, and hamburgers, and Rebecca. But I wouldn’t mind coming back to visit someday.”
“I’m so tired, I can’t keep my eyes open.”
“You should go to sleep, then.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, her words fading. “I want to be with you.”
“I’ll be sure to wake you extra early tomorrow morning,” Daniel said on a yawn.
“Let’s get married when we go home.”
He put his arm over her, resting his head on her shoulder. “I’m going to build you a house.”
“A house? What do I need a house for? I’ll be happy with mosquito netting…”
He smiled, watching as her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing evened. In the distance, an animal roared. When they had first arrived, the sounds of the night kept him awake, eyes wide, legs shaking. He had just known that some lion was going to burst into their hut and rip him to shreds. But Carol hadn’t been concerned, and when he tried to voice his fears to the villagers, they laughed at him.
A part of him was still convinced he was going to be eaten alive in his own bed, but it didn’t keep him up anymore. Mainly because of the exhaustion.
He needed to write to Becky and give her an update on their progress. Carol had a few rolls of film to send her. Of course, she was beginning her residency, so she may not have noticed her parents were even out of the country.
He absently brushed a fly from his cheek before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
* * * *
Daniel waved from the roof as Carol snapped his picture. “That’s the last one on the roll,” she shouted.
“This is my last nail,” he responded, showing her the long nail that would secure the final eave to the roof.
Everybody had gathered to watch him drive the final nail. He spotted Joseph at the front of the crowd, shading his eyes against the bright sun. The sweet smell of roasting goats and chickens drifted through the air, mingled with spices and yams, in preparation for the big celebration that night.
Daniel thought he could eat an entire goat himself, if he didn’t die of heatstroke first.
“Do it!” Carol called. The entire crowd repeated her, hundreds of voices rising as one.
He positioned the nail, and with a steady, practiced aim, drove it home. He held up both hands, victorious, and the crowd roared approval.
“Now get down from there before you fall down!”
Daniel tucked the hammer in his belt before carefully descending the ladder that Joseph held in place.
“We did it,” Joseph said, slapping him on the back.
“Yeah, we did, didn’t we?” Daniel wrapped his arms around the other man in a celebratory hug.
Carol came up behind him. “Do I get one, too?”
He turned to her, releasing a surprised Joseph, and embraced her as well. “And you didn’t think we’d finish in time.”
“I underestimated your dedication,” she admitted.
Daniel stepped away from her. “You may not want to get close to me for too long. I probably smell worse than the goats.”
“I think you smell good.”
He smirked. “No, you don’t. I need a bath.”
“Well, why don’t you go get ready, and I’ll take care of that bath.”
“Oh? I think I can agree to that.”
She kissed him briefly as everybody milled around, eager to inspect the new hospital. “I’ll be right there,” she promised.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Daniel ducked into their temporary home, quickly pealing the sweat-soaked clothes from his body. His skin felt tight, stretched across his flesh like a drum. The satisfaction of completing the hospital temporarily overrode his discomfort, but he couldn’t deny his relief when he thought of home.
He stretched out on the bed, his mind drifting. In the last batch of mail, his foreman, Roger, had indicated things were going well. It killed him to be away from them for even a week, much less a month, but if things were going well, then he couldn’t complain.
It wasn’t his business that kept him distracted. He was sure Scambray Contracting would thrive, the events of three years ago just the memory of a nightmare. With Carol’s help, he had pulled it all together. It was a different project that distracted him now.
“Daniel!” Carol said, bursting through the door. “Oh, it’s so beautiful. I can’t wait to see how it looks when it’s full of doctors and nurses and equipment and medicine. It’ll be glorious. And all those poor babies—”
“Wait,” he said, holding up his hand. “It won’t be operational for months. We can’t make another trip and I—”
“I wasn’t thinking of a second trip,” she said, sitting on the edge of their narrow bed.
He sat up, his eyes focused on her face. “Then what are you talking about?”
“I want to stay here.”
He shook his head. “No. You’re not staying here. We’re leaving on Thursday, as planned, and we’re going home.”
“You can leave if you want, Daniel. I’m not going to keep you here. I know you’ve been homesick. But I can’t just leave now. I’ve made friends here. I want to see the hospital. They’re going to build a school
next.”
“No.”
“You can’t just say ‘no’ like you’re talking to Rebecca.”
He shrugged. “You’re not staying. We had an agreement, and you’re coming home with me.”
“I know we had an agreement but—”
“Are you ever going to stop running? Maybe you should tell me now, so I can stop trying to keep up.”
She stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t want to be in Mountain Grove, so you ran to San Francisco. You didn’t want to be married, so you ran to Alabama. You wanted to be used and appreciated, so you went to Vietnam. You agreed to stay with us, but on your terms. And all of that’s fine—”
“Obviously it’s not fine if you’re bringing it up twenty years later,” she bitterly pointed out.
“I’m not bringing it up…but you’ve got to start living your own life.”
“Then let me! What’s wrong with you all of a sudden?”
“What about school? What about what you said last night? Don’t you want to finish school? Or was that just a whim?”
“It wasn’t a whim.”
“Your semester starts in two weeks. Do you think that hospital is going to be up and running in two weeks?” He didn’t like taking this tone with her, but he wasn’t going home by himself. It may have been foolish, but he couldn’t stand the thought of living alone again.
“I can defer this semester and—”
“And the next one? And the next one? Then pretty soon it’s easier just to drop all your classes, isn’t it?”
“Why are you doing this? I didn’t think you’d have a problem with it,” Carol asked, standing up.
“I’m doing this because I’ve been waiting to have you to myself for thirty-two years. You can come home with me, and we can finally be together. We won’t have to worry about raising a child, or saving the world, or building a business. I thought this trip would the last big hurrah,” he explained, hoping she would understand.
“How can it be when I have the ability and the means to do everything you’re asking me to give up?”
The hut felt like an oven as the sun crawled in the sky. Sweat beaded on his face and neck, rolling down his skin. He itched everywhere, his skin crawling. He wanted nothing more than to stand beneath an ice-cold shower. His limbs felt heavy, his back sore. Exhaustion made him collapse at the table, Carol’s untouched breakfast at his hand.
“What about doing community work?” he asked. “What about the foundation you wanted to join?”
“I can’t do that until I have my law degree.”
“And you won’t get your law degree if you drop out of school! I know you, Carol. It’s never a few weeks or few months. You let yourself get swept away, and before you know it, years are gone. Do you have years left?” He looked at her. “You still have a lot of work ahead of you.”
“I don’t want to leave them,” she protested softly.
“But your life isn’t here. It’s on the other side of the globe.”
He stood, holding out his arms, hoping she would come to him. He knew she was angry, and he figured she’d have the right to be, but he didn’t think he was being unreasonable. She ignored him instead, running past him and out of the hut.
“Carol! Where are you going?”
She didn’t respond. Unmindful of his naked chest, he hurried after her, his feet light on the packed earth. Dozens of eyes turned to watch the spectacle, but he focused only on Carol.
“Wait!” he called again.
“Leave me alone.” She sounded remarkably like Rebecca when she was pouting. He would have laughed if the situation weren’t so serious.
“I’m not going to leave you alone,” he said, catching up with her. He grabbed her above her elbow, pulling her to a stop. “You’re doing it again.”
“What?”
“Running away,” he said, suddenly exhausted.
“I am not running away. I just don’t want to talk to you. Leave me alone.”
He didn’t chase her a second time.
* * * *
It seemed every person within fifty miles showed up for the big celebration. Daniel could hear them shouting, singing, laughing, and eating, but he didn’t join them. Joseph had told him that Carol was there, joining the festivities, but he didn’t want to see her.
The most alluring, intoxicating aromas drifted through the heavy night air. His mouth watered as he imagined the roasting goats, lambs, chickens, yams, and eggs. He ignored the sharp hunger pangs radiating through his stomach and focused on packing. He had begun the trip with a single suitcase, and now he juggled three full-size cases and two smaller bags. Daniel shook his head, surveying the mountain of souvenirs, pictures, and clothes he had accumulated since their trip began. And that didn’t include Carol’s treasures.
He grabbed a random stack of photos, taken the five days they’d spent in Rome before traveling to Kenya. He smiled at the memory of Carol’s excitement—she had wanted to show him everything the city had to offer, taste all its food, drink all its wine, and five days hadn’t been enough.
Carol never had enough time. Maybe it was time he accepted that.
His chest tightened at the thought. From the moment he first saw her, he hadn’t wanted to let her go. He watched her leave and always waited for her to return because a life without her was too impossible, too frightening to consider. Now, even more so. What did he have if he didn’t have her?
He tossed aside the pictures, returning to the pile of clothes on the middle of the bed. He set Carol’s stuff to one side as he folded and tucked his own belongings in his biggest suitcase.
Roger had mentioned in his last letter than he’d found the perfect lot for Daniel’s project. Daniel had authorized him to write a check to hold the lot. Now it seemed rather silly. He wondered if he could get back his money. He was so lost in thoughts of Carol that he didn’t hear her come in.
“What are you doing?” she asked from the door. She almost sounded hesitant.
“Packing,” he answered curtly without turning. “When did we get so much stuff? I don’t have room for this.”
“You might need a bigger house.”
He sighed. “Yeah, maybe. A bigger apartment, anyway.” He pointed to the empty suitcase. “I was going to use that one, too, but you can keep it.”
“I did buy too many clothes in London. Aren’t you going to come out and get something to eat?”
He folded a shirt. “I’m not hungry.”
She gently pulled on his arm. “They really want to see you. They’re going to miss you when you leave, you know.”
Daniel laughed, but it was a hollow, empty sound. “Here,” he said, handing a picture to her. “They can keep this. You can show it to them when somebody around here misses me.”
“Daniel…”
“Carol, do you need something?” he asked with the same tone he’d use to speak to a difficult client. “I’m a little busy right now.”
She swallowed hard, stepping back. “No, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to see you.”
Daniel arched his eyebrow. “And?”
“I wanted to see if you were still angry.”
He shrugged, folding another shirt. “Just busy.”
“Well, if you’re not angry, maybe we can finish what we were talking about earlier.”
He laughed again. “I thought we were done when you stomped out. Was I mistaken? Are you going to tell me that you plan to live here?”
“Daniel, don’t shout—”
“I wasn’t shouting.” He shoved a pair of pants into the case before slamming it shut. “That’s not what you were going to say? Okay, let me guess again. You’ll stay here only until after the hospital opens. After that, you’re going to tour the entire continent.”
“Daniel, please, I don’t want to fight.”
“Was I right?”
“No.”
He snapped his fingers. “Damn. I guess you’ll have to surpr
ise me, then.”
She began pacing around the hut, wringing her hands. “How many times do we have to have this discussion?”
He pulled a second case from the floor. He wasn’t even trying to fold the clothes anymore. “What discussion? The discussion where you announce what you’re going to do and I just accept it because I don’t have any other choice? You’re in luck. We’re not having that conversation ever again. We’re not having it now.”
She spun on her toes to face him, her eyes flaming. “So you’re going to try to stop me from staying?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. Do whatever you want, Carol. I’ll keep the payments on the apartment in Berkeley so you won’t be homeless when you decide to come back.”
“So you’re going to leave me because I want to stay and help people? Because they need me?” she demanded hotly.
Daniel turned to face her now. He needed to look her in the eye. A face-to-face confrontation was the least they both deserved. “I need you, too, and you never cared about that.”
She gasped, her face turning red. “How can you say that to me? How dare you? I was there every time you needed me.”
“No, you weren’t,” he countered, a swelling wave of emotion finally overtaking him. “You were not there. I needed you every single day of my life. You weren’t there and I’m sorry, but I’m done waiting.”
“I did everything I could for you—”
“You did everything you could when you could be the hero. You were never interested in my daily life. Too mundane? Maybe for you, but I was happy, or nearly happy.” He struggled to keep his voice even, but there were too many words, too many feelings that he had ignored or pushed aside for too long.
“Do you want me to apologize?” The question sounded sincere.
“I never wanted you to apologize. I wanted you to be happy, and I wanted you be with me.” Daniel sighed, waving his hands, as though he was dismissing his own thoughts. “I always thought you’d eventually be happy with me. I guess I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong,” she said, almost inaudibly.
Engaging Carol Page 17
