“What?”
“You weren’t wrong,” she repeated, but her voice wasn’t much stronger.
“Then what are we doing here?” He longed to touch her, but clutched a dirty shirt instead.
Carol wiped the corner of her eye. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t know, either. I wish you would explain it to me.”
She helplessly lifted her hands. “I don’t know…I don’t…I just want to be important.”
He shook his head, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I want to be important. I want to help. I want to be needed, and I just wanted…want…to be loved.”
“Carol, you are important. You are needed. You are loved. But I think you’re scared, too. Are you worried about what will happen if you ever need anybody?” he asked, his heart aching. He could tell she wanted to pull away from the conversation, but he thought it would hurt them both too much if they didn’t push forward.
“I did need somebody.” She looked up, her eyes swimming. “I needed my mom, and she died. I needed my dad, and his congregation was always more important than me. I didn’t want to need you, too.”
“So you would run away, and you’d find people that needed you more than you needed them,” he finished.
She nodded, looking and sounding miserable. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I always loved you. I love you now. I didn’t know…” Her voice hitched. “I didn’t mean to ruin your whole life…to make you unhappy.” She wiped her eyes, sniffing. “I guess I was just selfish.”
“You didn’t ruin my life. You made my life worth living. You gave me Rebecca. You gave me a reason to wake up every morning.”
“But you’re unhappy now.”
“I’m unhappy because I want to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But if you can’t come home with me, I can’t…Carol, you’ve got to understand. I can’t be the third or fourth priority in your life anymore. I can’t even be the second. If you can’t deal with that, I deserve to know it now, not another ten years from now,” he explained patiently, keeping any hint of frustration or anger out of his words.
“I understand.”
He took her hand, unable to resist for another moment. Her fingers felt so warm, so right, wrapped around his. Didn’t she see that they fit each other perfectly? “Give us a chance to be happy together, Carol, please.” He brushed his lips across her knuckles. “Please.”
“I don’t know how,” she admitted, “I don’t even know where to start.”
“You start by coming home with me. We’ll take care of each other.” He took her other hand and tried to smile, but he was too afraid of her response.
“I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“Then don’t. You can’t hurt me if you give our life together the chance it deserves.”
Carol blinked the tears out of her eyes. “Can we come back and see the hospital some time? And I have always wanted to see India.”
“Normal people take vacations all the time,” he said, and now he could smile. “Vacations are reasonable, I think.”
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. He could feel her hot tears through the thin cloth of his shirt. “I think I’m ready to go home, Daniel.”
He kissed the top of her head. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
Chapter 12
Walnut Creek, California
1988
Carol studied the address and frowned as she brought her car to a stop. She needed to find Lilac, and so far she had seen Daisy, Aster, Tulip, Rose, Strawberry, and Orchid, but no Lilac. Daniel had told her she needed to be there by three sharp, and the little hand on her watch was inching ever closer to the hour.
She hadn’t left the office until just after 2:30, and traffic on the I-4 was already heavy. “Great. I’m going to be late. Fan-fucking-tastic,” she muttered, putting her car in gear again.
In her defense, work had been hectic that morning. The Reach Out Organization accepted walk-in appointments from eight until ten every morning, and since Carol started working there, she averaged three or four clients a day. Some of them needed help with evictions, but most of the cases involved divorce and child custody. The custody cases were the most difficult. That morning, she’d had eight people waiting to see her.
Things did not get better after that.
A part of her resented Daniel for not only pulling her away from the office, but adding to the pressure by insisting she find a new address in a strange neighborhood by a certain time. Couldn’t this wait until the weekend? Or until after six? He wouldn’t even tell her what he wanted from her.
She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. She saw the green road sign from the corner of her eye—Lilac. She turned right, as per his instructions, and squinted into the sun to find the proper address. She counted under her breath, “1320, 1326, 1332…1356!”
Carol pulled into the empty driveway, her stomach twisting with nerves. Did she have the wrong house? Was she too early? Too late? It was possible she had the wrong date or time. Things had been so hectic lately. Double-checking the slip of paper Daniel had given her the previous day, she confirmed she had the time and date correct.
“Then were the hell is he?” she asked aloud, killing the engine. She waited in her car for a few moments, giving him a chance to show, but she was left alone in the driveway.
She sighed, climbing out of her cramped Honda. The air was mild against her face, a gentle wind caressing her hair. The soft sun soothed her nerves. Taking several deep breaths, she resolved to be calm and pleasant when she finally learned just what the hell was going on.
Carol looked up at the big house, studying it with a critical eye. It was obviously brand new—she could still smell the fresh paint in the air. It was two stories, and the windows reminded her of eyes.
She approached the door, noticing with a slight smile that it was purple, but it matched the mellow cream shade of the house well. She knocked first, but nobody answered. After waiting several seconds, she tried the knob. It moved easily in her hand and the door swung open.
“Daniel?” She ducked her head in the doorway, looking around before stepping inside. “Daniel?”
Nothing but silence met her voice.
The house was cool and full of late-afternoon shadows. Her heels echoed off the shining hardwood floor as she ventured further inside, more concerned with finding Daniel than exploring her surroundings. She would have walked by the living room without a second glance, if the glass from a picture frame hadn’t reflected the sun into her eyes.
Carol couldn’t make out the photo at first, but as she approached, her eyes began to blur with tears. The large frame had space for several small pictures, and they were all of her. Black and white photos from when she was still a child; the photo Bradford had snapped the day after she and her father had moved to Mountain Grove; a picture with Rodney and May flanking her; one of her in the hospital, looking exhausted and drugged, holding a tiny baby; one from Hawaii; one from Rome; a still from Africa, and finally one featuring Daniel kissing her hand.
Above that frame was a second frame, holding her diplomas from U.C. Berkeley.
“Daniel?” she called, her voice weak.
No response.
Curious and shocked, she moved from the living room to the kitchen. It was also decorated in pictures, but they were all of Rebecca. Some things she remembered, some things she didn’t. All the appliances were brand new, and the fridge was stocked with her favorite foods.
She moved to the stairs, her heart lodging in her throat. She recognized all the framed photos hanging in the hallway—they were from the slides she’d sent to Rebecca, all those years ago, during the War.
Carol easily found the master bedroom. Holding her breath, she pushed open the door, expecting to find Daniel on the other side. Instead, she found a beautiful room in soft shades of blue, decorated with the souvenirs and prizes she had accumulated over the years. The bed was new, huge, and covered in a
beautiful down quilt. Carol recognized it immediately. Patricia had made it.
She covered her mouth, warm tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
“I wanted to make sure you liked it before I took credit,” Daniel said from behind her.
Carol spun around, her eyes wide. “You did all of this?”
“Becky helped.”
“Is she here?”
“She will be tonight.”
“How did you do all of this? You built this house?”
“I told you I was going to build you a house,” he said with a smile.
“I didn’t know you meant it.”
“Why would I say if it I didn’t mean it?” he countered. “I was behind schedule. I wanted to have it finished by the time you graduated. I imagined the whole thing—bringing you here after the ceremony. Then I aimed for the bar exam. What would have been more fitting than serving you your first meal as a lawyer in your new house?” He grimaced. “But that didn’t work either.”
Carol didn’t care about any of that. “What else is there? Where did you find everything? How did you keep it a secret?”
“I found everything in storage. I didn’t really have to try to keep anything a secret. You’ve been so busy with school and your new job that you weren’t really paying my little project any attention. As for what else there is…why don’t you have a look around?” He stepped away from the door, giving her room to pass.
“I don’t know if my heart can take anymore,” she said and laughed. She felt like a child, looking at an unexplored world with wide, excited eyes. The day’s stress fell away, and she couldn’t even remember why she was annoyed earlier.
“We’ll take things slow,” Daniel promised. “Now come on. My heart can’t wait any longer.”
Carol tried the door to the right of the master bedroom and found a large, luxurious bathroom, complete with a whirlpool tub. The bathroom was done in soft pinks that complimented the blue in the bedroom, and the tub was large enough to accommodate two people.
“You remembered that I like pedestal sinks,” she whispered, her fingers lingering on the cool, white porcelain.
Daniel merely smiled.
To the left of the master room, she found the guestroom. It was clearly meant for Rebecca. It featured photos of her, as well as framed report cards, paintings, and her high school diploma. Carol sensed that Daniel had decorated the room himself, a gift to Rebecca.
“Has she seen this room yet?” Carol asked, admiring the colorful walls.
“No. Do you think she’ll like it?”
“I think she’ll visit more often.”
“There’s more,” he said, directing her to the door.
There was one more room on the second floor. She smiled as she opened the door, but the smile faltered once she stepped inside, shocked. “Daniel it’s an—”
“An office. Your office.”
The walls were lined with her law books, as well as books she had never seen before. A huge mahogany desk dominated the room, chairs arranged tastefully around it, a new computer and a multi-lined phone on top of it. A table with a coffee maker sat beside a long, leather couch. A large window faced south, allowing sunlight to stream in and warm the room.
She turned to face Daniel, her eyes cataloguing every small detail. “My office?”
“I thought you might be interested in working from home.” he explained, looking at the floor.
He was actually nervous. Carol couldn’t believe it. Did he think for one moment that she wouldn’t love every square inch of the house?
“It’s perfect, Daniel. Everything is perfect.” She wiped the moisture from her eyes. “It’s all so…perfect.”
“I wanted you to have something of your own. I wanted something that was ours,” he tried to explain. “Our memories in one place, if that makes sense.”
She nodded. “I understand. I…God, I think we should get married now.”
“Today?” he teased.
“Soon. I think we should live in this house as husband and wife.”
“I agree,” Daniel said, crossing the room to take her hand.
“I want to get married in Mountain Grove.”
He blinked. “Mountain Grove? Really?”
“In the church where it all started.”
He pulled her into his arms. “I think that sounds perfect.”
“I know where I want to spend our honeymoon,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“I hope it’s somewhere cheap. This house really tapped me out.”
“Right here,” she said, pulling his lips down to hers. “I just want to be right here with you.”
Daniel moaned against her mouth, deepening the kiss. The kiss was soft and exploring, slow, unhurried. Carol clung to him, opening her mouth to his probing tongue, allowing him to kiss her like they had never touched before, like he didn’t know the taste of her.
He slid his hands down her back, smoothing his palms against her blouse before pulling it up and exposing her skin. She shivered as his fingertips brushed against the waistband of her pants, thrilling at his lightest caress. He knew every sensitive inch of her body, knew how to touch her.
She moved one hand down his arm, her fingers dancing over the familiar muscles beneath his tight shirt. He still felt as hard and strong as he did thirty years ago, his body as familiar as her own. She tugged at his shirt, longing to feel his warm, smooth skin against hers.
Daniel broke the kiss, pulling her shirt over her head, before attacking her neck. She sighed, tilting her head to allow him access to her delicate, hungry flesh. She wanted to feel his mouth everywhere, wanted him to kiss her, to lick her, to bite her. She tugged at his shirt, until he finally straightened and yanked it over his head before returning to her neck.
Carol moaned impatiently, tilting her head even more to the left. She knew Daniel understood what she wanted, and he didn’t disappoint her. He gently bit her pulse point, sucking on the skin. She didn’t know how or why, but it only took the barest hint of attention at that spot to make her head spin. But he never left it at a hint of a touch, he sucked on the flesh until she whimpered, longing for more.
“You’re making me crazy,” she gasped.
He moved his mouth to her chest, skimming her nipples through her bra.
“Should we move this to the bedroom?” she asked, running her hand through his thick hair.
He merely shook his head.
“It’d be more comfortable…”
Daniel straightened, pulling her roughly against his body. “But I want you here,” he said, claiming her mouth again.
It was Carol’s turn to moan, his soft words like sending a flurry of sparks through her body. Her thighs were slick, her panties damp. She grabbed his hand, pushing it between her legs.
Daniel smiled against her mouth. “You’re so bossy.”
“Touch me before I go crazy,” she responded.
“Of course.” He slid his hand between her legs, rubbing the hard nub of flesh with a light finger. With his free hand, he quickly unbuttoned his pants and pulled himself out.
“It’ll take only a couple of seconds to get to the bedroom,” she gasped.
“Can’t wait.” He grunted, pushing her against the wall next to the door. He easily lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Seconds later, he slid into her, holding her steady.
“Oh God…”
“You still feel so good,” he moaned, resting his forehead against hers. “And you still taste so good. And smell so good.”
“So do you. Just a little faster. Faster.”
Carol kissed him as he complied with her request, momentarily losing herself to his touch. As the seconds spun into minutes around them, the only thing that mattered was his body, the way it fit hers, the way it always fit hers. Like they were made for each other.
* * * *
Carol ran out of the house, rushing to hug Rebecca before she even had the chance to get out of her car. She
didn’t even notice the strange man in the passenger seat until after she had thoroughly looked over Rebecca, making sure she was properly taken care of.
“Mom, this is Paul,” Rebecca said, pointing to the tall, slightly confused looking man standing on the other side of the car. “Paul, my mom, Carol. Hey, where’s Dad?”
“He’s in the house. I wouldn’t let him leave the gravy on the stove. Come on. He’s dying to show you the house.” She wrapped an arm around Rebecca’s waist and called over her shoulder, “You’re welcome to come inside, too, Paul.”
Rebecca laughed. “I can’t wait to see the house. I’ve seen pictures, of course, and Dad must have sent me ten thousand letters, but I’m sure it’s better in person.”
“Does your father know that Paul is joining us?” Carol asked under her breath.
“No, I thought I’d surprise him.”
“Do you think that’s wise?”
“I’m thirty years old, Mom. He’s going to have to accept the fact that I date.”
Carol opened the front door. “Date? You don’t usually bring casual dates hundreds of miles to meet your parents.”
Rebecca pulled away from Carol, taking Paul’s hand. “He’s a little bit more than just a casual date.”
“Becky girl?” Daniel said, stepping out of the kitchen. He held out his arms. “I thought I heard your voice.”
“Daddy,” she said, embracing him. “The house is gorgeous. Did she just love it?”
“Of course she did.” He pulled away from her. “Who’s that?”
“Dad, this is Paul.”
“Daniel Scambray,” Daniel said, holding out his hand. “How long have you known my daughter?”
“About a year,” Paul said, his voice strong.
Carol smiled. “A year and she’s never mentioned you? Sounds serious to me.”
Rebecca blushed. “What’s for dinner? It smells delicious.”
“Roast and potatoes. Paul, why don’t you help me set the table?” Carol suggested.
Paul hesitated for a moment before following her to the kitchen. “The way Rebecca described her father, I thought that would be much more painful,” he admitted.
Engaging Carol Page 18
