Real Love

by Tracy Reed

  “Hello.”

  Sean’s voice had just the right amount of cheer to make her smile. She was getting used to having him around and this pretend boyfriend thing felt pretty good. As much as she hated to admit it, Sean really knew how to treat a woman. Even if it was just for a short while, she liked the attention. Even before Eric got married, he never treated her with such compassion.

  “Thank you.”

  Sean knew he was getting through to her. It was his goal to show her what it meant to have someone really care about her.

  “When you said my week to date you was that time of the month, I knew there were going to be a couple of days when you really didn’t feel like going out or being around me.”

  “True, but Winnie was looking forward to seeing Simon tonight and your package means you two are canceling on us.”

  “We didn’t want to, but earlier you said you weren’t feeling well and we didn’t want to—”

  “Winnie got a new outfit and had her hair done. I think she’ll be disappointed if Simon gives her a rain check.”

  “Okay, meet me—”

  “You guys come over.”

  “To your office?” he asked.

  “No, my apartment.”

  “I thought you said that was your sanctuary and off limits?”

  “You’re safe, aren’t you?”

  “Very.”

  “Okay, you and Simon come over at seven.” She surprised herself with her suggestion.

  “Okay.”

  “See you then, bye.”

  “Kyla…”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “What’s the address?”

  “I’m sorry.” She laughed. “It’s 333 East Forty-Ninth Street, the doorman will let you up.”

  “See you tonight.”

  What did she just do? She never had men at her apartment. Not even Eric. It was her sanctuary.

  Kyla and Winnie rushed home and put the groceries up. She changed into something more comfortable and befitting her mood. In her present condition there was no chance of anything happening. She brushed Winnie and put a cheesy little rhinestone t-shirt on her that said, “Cutie Pie.” She sat on the sofa with a cup of tea and started reading one of the novels Sean sent while waiting for her date.

  The doorman buzzed and she gave her okay to send up her guest. Shortly after the first buzz, she got a second buzz. “It’s about time I see a man not carrying take-out or grocery bags coming to see you,” Jerome kidded.

  “Funny,” she replied and hung up the phone.

  She walked into the bathroom to check her hair and makeup. She took a deep breath and waited. She couldn’t believe after all of her planning and scheming Sean was finally here, but on his terms. In her fantasy, he would have been coming over after Sunday brunch and not leaving until Monday morning.

  The doorbell rang and she looked down at Winnie standing next to her and whispered, “Okay girl, seems our dates are here.” She took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hey Sean.”

  His smile matched hers. She stepped to the side and Simon walked in first with a flower chew toy in his mouth followed by Sean with white lilacs in his hand.

  “Good evening, Simon and I are here for dinner.” She laughed and closed the door. He handed her his jacket and she hung it in the closet next to the front door. “These are for you and Simon has a little something for Winnie.” Winnie barked and they both laughed.

  “White lilacs, thank you,” she took the flowers and she started to kiss him, but held back. “Uhm, come this way, make yourself comfortable while I put these in water.” She led the way to the living room and he followed. She continued into the kitchen and he was right behind her. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m helping.”

  “I can do this.”

  He took the flowers out of her hand. “Where’s the vase?” She pointed to the cabinet under the sink. He pulled out a tall clear glass vase and filled it with water and arranged the flowers with the precision of a florist. She stood watching him go through his routine, amazed at the fluidity of his moves.

  “Moonlighting as a florist?”

  He laughed. “My ex was a florist.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And I helped out a few times.”

  “Okay.”

  “Where do you want these?”

  “The dining table. Thank you.” He placed the vase in the center of the glass dining table and walked back into the kitchen. “What do you want to eat?”

  “Sit down.” He guided her over to a stool to sit down.

  “I have cramps, I’m not handicapped.”

  “I know.”

  “I can get dinner.”

  “Woman, you are so hard headed. I’m your boyfriend, remember? What do you want to eat?”

  “Mac and cheese.”

  “My favorite. You take it easy and I’ll heat up dinner.”

  She watched as he danced around the kitchen preparing dinner. He heated everything, placed the plates on the table and then joined her. He took her hand and began to pray. “Father, thank you for this meal and the hands that prepared it. I pray there is nothing in it that will harm our bodies. Thank you for this time of fellowship with my friend. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Oops, I almost forgot.” He jumped up, opened a container of dog food, and placed it in a bowl for Simon and Winnie. She laughed to herself. He rushed back to the kitchen and started eating.

  “See, I told you you’d be treating me to dinner.” She smiled.

  “Yeah, but don’t think you’re getting off that easy. You still owe me dinner,” he quickly reminded her.

  “This is good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She looked over at the dogs facing each other as they munched their way to the center of the bowl.

  After dinner, he cleaned up the kitchen while she sat on the sofa watching. Once he finished, he joined her on the sofa with a cup of tea.

  “Thank you.” She took a sip. “I could get use to this.”

  “That’s the plan.” He smiled. He looked over and saw her book sitting on the coffee table. He picked it up and saw where she had left off. “I see you’re reading one of the books. How is it?”

  “It’s pretty good.” Rubbing her stomach and cringing.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, just a little cramp.”

  “Do you want to take something?” he asked. She shook her head. “Are you sure? Where’s the heating pad?”

  “The hall closet.”

  He got the heating pad, plugged it in and placed it on her stomach along with a pillow. “Better?” She nodded. He sat down and picked up her feet.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Taking care of you. That’s what a good boyfriend does.”

  “Some boyfriend, you haven’t even kissed me.” She pouted.

  He continued rubbing her feet. “Why do you want me to kiss you?”

  “Because that’s what people do when they’re attracted to each other. It lets the other person know how they feel.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do you want to kiss me?” he asked.

  “So you’ll know how I feel about you.” She looked over at Simon and Winnie nuzzling each other. “Winnie is getting further than I am. I thought part of this experiment was for you to show me—”

  “What’s the most intimate thing a man and woman can do?”

  “Make love.”

  “Make love?” he questioned her response.

  “Yeah, you’re exposed and naked sharing yourself with someone else.”

  He nodded, “That’s not true.”

  “I know it’s been a while for you, but—”

  “A long time ago, people used the term, “make love” to indicate courting, spending time together, showing affection. Over time, the phrase got distorted to suit our version of what making love is.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Making love is not h
aving sex.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s what we’re doing right now. Talking, spending time together, sharing. When you have sex with someone, you don’t have to be there mentally or emotionally. Heck, you can even visualize someone else, meaning you’re not being intimate. You’re just passing time.”

  “Yeah but…” Kyla knew exactly what he was saying. Since she and Sean had become friends, she had been pretending she was with him when she was with Eric.

  “When you talk to them, you become closer and more intimate than if you were naked, rolling around in bed. I’ve told you things I haven’t shared with my brother or best friend.”

  “You have?”

  “And you invited me over to your apartment, your sanctuary. Why?”

  “Because I’m in no position to do anything.” She laughed.

  “No, because you trust me. Which means you have—”

  “Don’t say it.” He saw her trying to hide a smile.

  “Because you care about me and Simon.”

  “Okay, so if you care about me, then why won’t you kiss me?”

  He let out a sigh, “Woman, I can’t afford to have you confused.”

  “What, is your kiss that powerful it’s gonna blow my mind?”

  “The first time you teased me about kissing you, you were right. I did want to kiss you. Every time I’m with you, I want to wrap you up in my arms and kiss you. But if I do, it will just complicate things.”

  “How?”

  “You’re still tied to the boyfriend and I can’t do what he does for you. Once you realize you want more, I’ll be here.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Right now, I’m a challenge for you.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “Yes. You’re upset because I’m not playing your game.”

  “My game?” she patted the pillow on her stomach.

  “If you had your way, you would have seduced me and been done with me.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “That’s what I know. Girl, I may not have had sex in a while, but I’m a smart man, and I know when a woman is coming on to me.”

  “Really?” She smiled.

  “Oh yeah. The subtle glances, the kisses on the cheek, eating off my plate.” She dropped her mouth open. “The invitations for coffee, coming by the showroom, asking me about God and the things that are important to me. I know what you thought you were doing, but something happened.”

  “What are talking about?”

  “You started caring about me.” She tried pulling her feet back.

  “Sean Prescott let go of my feet.”

  “Stop it. The truth hurts doesn’t it?”

  “If I wasn’t in so much pain, I’d put you out.” She folded her arms in front of her trying to pout.

  “Look at me.” She lifted her head looking at him. “I care about you, too.”

  “You do?”

  He nodded. “Yes, I do. But I can’t be with you, not like that.”

  “Because of the boyfriend?”

  “And…”

  “God.”

  “Yeah. I can’t overlook those two things.”

  “What if I—”

  “Don’t change just to be with me. Change because you want to.” He looked at her and saw her eyes fill with water.

  Chapter 33

  DING. THE ELEVATOR DOORS OPENED and the sound of tiny footsteps followed by larger ones trotting across the floor captured Sean’s attention.

  “We’re over here,” he yelled out. Kyla and Winnie walked toward the sound of the voice and were greeted by Simon. Kyla released Winnie’s leash and she and Simon took off running around the loft.

  “That view is beautiful,” she commented, looking out the floor to ceiling windows of the Tribeca Loft.

  “Thank you.”

  She put her bag on the counter and walked over to the stove. “What smells so good?” she asked, bending over the hot pot.

  “Portobello mushroom risotto and grilled lamb chops.”

  “Impressive.” She sat at the counter watching as he continued cooking.

  He looked over his shoulder at the bag sitting on the counter. “What’s in the bag?”

  She reached inside the bag and pulled out a couple of bottles of mineral water, a bottle of red wine, and a bottle of white wine. “I didn’t know what you were making, so…what’s with the sour look? The man at the wine store said these were good.”

  He turned back to the stove and removed the pot. “I’ve been sober for sixteen years.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known, I…”

  “Don’t be. I should have told you.”

  “I’ll take the wine home and we can enjoy the mineral water with lunch.”

  He shook his head, smiling. He had never disclosed his sobriety to any of his dates, but Kyla was different. He felt comfortable telling her things he wouldn’t tell people other than family or close friends.

  “Do you have any lemons?” she asked.

  “Look in the fridge.” She walked past him and the smell of her parfum put him under her spell. He took a deep breath and finished plating lunch.

  She filled the glasses and placed them on the table. “Okay, what can I do?”

  “Relax.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. You’re my guest.”

  “Okay.” She sat down watching as he danced around the kitchen. The Viking range, Sub-Zero refrigerator and a pantry that looked like a gourmet market, proved he wasn’t lying about his cooking skills. He opened the fridge, pulled out a small plastic container and emptied the contents into a bowl.

  “Simon,” he called as he placed the bowl on the floor next to the dining table. “Simon, Winnie.” The small footsteps came rushing toward his voice.

  “What is that you put in the bowl?”

  “Dog food.”

  “Refrigerated?”

  “Simon wanted to impress Winnie.” She smiled and thought Sean is either nuts or too good to be true. “Wash up, lunch is ready.”

  “Where’s the restroom?”

  “On the other side of the elevator, hang a left.”

  After lunch she helped with the dishes. “We could have put these in the dishwasher.”

  “I don’t have one.”

  “What?”

  “Just kidding.” Simon walked over with his leash in his mouth and dropped it next to Sean’s foot. “Okay, boy, let me finish and we’ll go.”

  “Are you kidding?” Kyla asked. “How can I get Winnie to do that? I’ve got her on a schedule, but this is so much better.”

  “I think his former owner taught him. Get Winnie and let’s go.”

  She put on Winnie’s leash and the four of them headed for an afternoon stroll. On the way back, they picked up some gelato. Sitting at the counter eating reminded her of the night they stopped for gelato and provocative conversation.

  “So, I’ve been thinking,” she confessed.

  “About?”

  “I don’t want you to kiss me.”

  He rolled his eyes. This was becoming a habit, questions about church and sex. “I thought—”

  “Hear me out. I don’t want you to kiss me, because you don’t want to.”

  “I didn’t say that,” he countered.

  He desperately wanted to kiss her, but he knew he couldn’t. She wasn’t like any other woman he had dated. Although he knew what she was up to, he had to remain steadfast in his commitment to God. Looking at her lips, he sensed how Adam must have felt when Eve presented him with that apple…all shiny, wet and juicy. Kyla’s lips were his forbidden fruit. He knew that if he tasted her lips, he wouldn’t be able to stop and his witness would be dead. He couldn’t give in. He needed to show Kyla it was possible to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex without being sexually involved.

  “I know and I don’t want to kiss you,” she announced.

  “You don’t?”<
br />
  “No.” She put the spoon in her mouth and he became mesmerized by her lips. “You were right. I didn’t realize how personal kissing is…for you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He was confused and offended at her statement.

  “I understand you a little better now and when you kiss me, I want it to be because you want to. And when I kiss you, I want it to be because you want me to.”

  “Where is this coming from?” He went from being excited about possibly kissing her and figuring out if he could control himself, to being annoyed she would make a statement like that. He wasn’t a sex addict who would fall off the wagon behind one kiss. He was a grown man trying to be strong and not give the devil an opportunity to throw him off his game.

  “I didn’t realize…I mean, since you can’t have sex, and kissing is all you have…”

  “I’m not a eunuch. I didn’t lose my…I can have sex. I’ve just made a decision not to again until marriage.”

  “I know.” She smiled picturing Sean naked. She cleared her throat and continued.

  This attempt at wearing Sean down wasn’t working. He was a lot stronger than she thought. She was trying to be honest, but instead, she was making herself excited and her only options were calling Eric or self-fulfillment. Her cousins and her girlfriends bragged about their little devices, but she didn’t like artificial entertainment. Besides, she didn’t need one because she could have Eric anytime she wanted..he was just a phone call away.

  “I’ve been researching celibacy and for celibate people, kissing is very important.” Sean folded his arms in front of his chest listening to her expound. “I think right now, the thought of kissing you might surpass the actual thing.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  She swallowed hard. She knew that was a lie. She closed her eyes briefly and thought how amazing his lips would feel traveling across her body. When she opened her eyes, Sean was smiling at her and she knew she was in trouble.

  She went to the powder room for a moment of clarity. She looked at her watch, five o’clock and she was still dressed, not the way she thought the day would go. She thought about calling Eric, but it wouldn’t be fair to deprive Olivia of the only other time she had with him this week.

  She looked at her reflection in the mirror. “What’s happening to me?” Kyla never cared about anyone else’s feelings. Yet here she was putting her desires for her boyfriend aside so his wife could have a shot at romance tonight.