Bad, Dad, and Dangerous

by Rhys Ford

  “Fine. Star put it in the pantry, and I promise not to fight going into it if you let me pick the music.”

  NATION WAS balanced on his shoulder like a proper cat when he entered the Sylvester Pattie Tower, also known as the Witches Tower, in Presidio Park. At the start of the 1800s, the adobe-covered building was old and had originally been a prison for eight lost adventurers who were suspected spies. It was a nearly forgotten part of the city park, with few visitors, but well maintained, and it was a perfect place for the district meetings of the Council of Mages, who had enough members on the city council to keep hold of the location for generations to come.

  “Hello,” he said with a bow of his head as he took his usual seat at the table after placing Nation on the left armrest. “Sorry if we’re a tad late. Got Star off to camp this morning, and I haven’t caught up yet.”

  “Don’t worry, Thomas,” their leader, Dave Milton, said from the head of the table. He was dressed in casual clothes like Thomas, while the other two were fresh from their day jobs, which required suits. “You’re still here before Armando.”

  “Everyone is always here before Armando,” said Lea from her seat. Her familiar, a small masked ferret, was curled around her arm and playing with her bracelet. “How are you and Nate?”

  “I’m fine,” Nation answered for himself. “He made me ride in the carrier.”

  “Yes, I’m a horrible person.” Thomas decided not to roll his eyes. “Be thankful yours don’t talk.”

  “I am on a daily basis,” Dave said, petting the ebony cat at his side. “But then we didn’t have to get special dispensation for ours either. Are you going to hand him off to Star when she passes her tests?”

  “More than likely,” Thomas answered, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb between Nation’s ears. “He was hers to begin with, and technically he’s not a proper familiar.” By a miracle Nation didn’t tell him to screw himself, or bite him, but he was fairly certain he heard the words in his head. “I took him to keep him in the family after the accident since she was so young.”

  “You’ll miss me,” Nation said with a shrug before jumping from the chair and heading for the door with his head and tail held high. “I’ll be on the tower.”

  Thomas knew he’d miss him, not that he’d admit it. Having a sentient semi-immortal demon slash imp or whatever he was for a familiar had been very helpful, but he hadn’t been his cat to begin with, and it was Star’s power that brought him back to life. Thomas knew he was a placeholder for the creature and hoped his guidance over the years would keep both of them out of trouble once they were bound together. As much as he bitched—or they bitched at each other—Thomas wasn’t looking forward to settling for a normal animal companion.

  Once Armando arrived in a fluster of excuses they’d all heard before, the Council got down to business. Dave listed off the hot spots for the coming Solstice, and each member listed the problems they’d handled over the past month. It wasn’t a formal meeting by any means. Those were only held when required, when they had to show off, or when the Council had to hold a tribunal over another mage in the county. Then they’d dress the part, cast wards, and do whatever was necessary for the greater good.

  “I’ll be patrolling Pioneer Park this year,” Thomas told them. “There’s some very dark energy coming from there this summer. I felt the clouds a few days ago, and a scrying spell said that’s where the problem is.”

  “Better than running all over the city,” Lea offered. “I ran myself ragged covering for you last year before they gave me North County.”

  “Depending on the activities this year,” Dave said, “we should probably look into training apprentices for backup. There are millions of people living here now. Five people can’t be expected to cover the entire county—not anymore.”

  THOMAS CLIMBED the exterior steps to the top of the building. It wasn’t much of a tower, maybe fifteen feet from the ground, but he hadn’t been the one to name the old building. He stepped carefully across the pentagram tiled into the rooftop to where Nation was sitting on the waist-high railing, watching moths drawn to the lights. “Did you get your quarterly warning about me?” the cat asked.

  “Of course. It’s gotten to be part of the ritual after all these years. I don’t even bother to protest anymore that if you were dangerous to us, you’d have done whatever evil you have planned years ago.” He moved to lean on his hands next to Nation after he unslung his bag to rest it by his feet. “I mean evil besides being a general pain in the ass.”

  “Well, I am sort of a cat. I’m also practically powerless in this body, and if I wasn’t to be trusted, you wouldn’t know my true name.”

  “Unless you lied about it to begin with.” Which Thomas doubted. They’d had a very serious conversation when he’d returned to San Diego to a storm of chaos in the shop and his home caused by his seven-year-old daughter and Nation’s return from the dead. The cat had been quite gracious—unlike his current behavior—when he’d sworn to protect Star and given Thomas his true name. Thomas could barely pronounce it, but it still held power over the cat, unlike his common names of Nate and Nation.

  “So true.” Nation twisted around and rubbed his head on Thomas’s elbow, letting out a purr. “Anything interesting going on with the powers that be?”

  “They voted to allow us to pick apprentices or deputies to help with the patrols, which would be nice. This isn’t the same colony my family came to watch over when the Spaniards were finished with the tribes.” That was a part of history mirrored all over California—and the rest of the United States, for that matter—but the best he could think about that was he hoped humanity would learn to treat each other better someday.

  “Be nice if you and the family could vacation together, and Star’ll be on the roster too.” Nation stretched until his front paws were on Thomas’s shoulder and met his eyes. “I’ll take care of her like I do you.”

  “I know you will. You love her,” he said, scratching the hairless skin between Nation’s ears. “Come along, beastie. We need to do a little patrol. I can smell something to the east. Don’t know what it is, but I don’t like it.”

  THOMAS WAS winding his way out of Mission Hills, where the streets were lined with old Victorian and Craftsman houses. They were lovely, and he often wondered if he couldn’t close up the shop and buy a real house for the family. The online business could be run out of a spare bedroom or basement, since most of the houses were too old to have much in the way of garages, but it’d be hard to let the shop go. It might not be as old as the century-old homes in the area, but it had still been around for decades.

  “I feel something,” Nation said from inside the carrier. He’d hooked his claws on the bars and had his nose pressed through the grate like a deranged hamster. “Smells bad. Let me out.”

  “Let me pull over.” There weren’t many parking places in this part of town either, and it took him a couple of short city blocks to find a bank with a small lot. The driveways had chains across to keep anyone from using the precious parking spaces within, so Thomas parked across the driveway. If anyone said anything, he’d have Nation pretend to be sick.

  He popped the latch on the carrier and let the cat out. Nation’s eyes were glowing with an internal light. He sat on his haunches in the seat and then jumped onto the dashboard, where he had to crouch, his whiskers twitching as he sniffed. “Head down the big street that goes east.”

  “Guessing that means El Cajon,” Thomas said as he restarted the Lexus and pulled back onto the street. He turned right to a lighted intersection that would head them in the right direction. He reached for the carrier and knocked it onto the floor. “University or Washington. I’ll work from one toward the other. Get back on the seat. Tell me when I’m getting close.”

  Having a cat—sentient or not—give him directions was a challenge Thomas could live without repeating any time soon, but eventually they ended up on El Cajon Blvd, heading east. He kept expecting Nation to tell him to turn n
orth once more, but he didn’t. Instead they ended up at a boarded-up video rental store that was close enough to McDonald’s to make him want fries.

  “At least the parking lot’s empty,” he said as he pulled in and parked. Now he could feel the touch of darkness that Nation somehow caught on the wind. The hairs on his arms and the back of his neck prickled. He opened the car door, letting Nation out, and reached for his bag. “Any idea what you sensed?”

  “Nope, sorry.” He might not have known what they were facing, but it didn’t slow Nation down. He took off like lightning toward the back side of the store, and Thomas had to rush to keep up.

  “Wait,” Thomas hissed when they came around the corner. The narrow alley behind the store where deliveries would’ve been made stank, which wasn’t a surprise, but it wasn’t the typical stench of wet garbage and piss one normally found. It reeked of death.

  “Here.” Nation was pawing at a broken rear door that was hanging on one hinge.

  “I never would have guessed.” Thomas’s voice dripped with sarcasm as he pulled a long-bladed dagger from his bag. The blade was etched in runes that had been filled with iron and silver—both were known to cause considerable pain to many supernatural creatures. He wedged one leg through the opening, leaving Nation enough room to move before him. “Smells worse on the inside.”

  Thomas cast a small spell, making what was left of the ceiling tiles glow with a pale blue light. The store was in ruins, displays shattered, and what videos had been left behind were tangled everywhere. “Gremlins, I think,” Nation said.

  When half a dozen creatures the size of bull terriers poured out of one of the broken air-conditioning ducts, small batlike wings flapping as they hit the ground running while venom dripped from their snaggletoothed jaws, Nation was proved correct. “Lovely.”

  Nine

  TEXTING WAS easier than a phone call. No one could hear if you got the giggles or if anything else embarrassing happened. It also meant that KJ wouldn’t accidentally wake up David, who’d crashed on his couch after they got stupid and decided to finish off an old bottle of Cuervo instead of just drinking the beer he’d bought to celebrate. Texting was also easier when you had a slight—yeah, right—hangover.

  Thomas, do you know where you’d like to go for dinner tonight?

  That would help, wouldn’t it?

  KJ had no trouble picturing Thomas in a button-down shirt behind the counter at his shop, looking like a hot librarian, and he prayed that Thomas wasn’t picturing him sprawled in an unmade bed wearing nothing but his underwear. Wait a second, there is nothing wrong with that at all.

  Any food allergies? Vegan-ness? No booze?

  Shellfish are not my friends. Not vegetarian nor vegan. Booze is also OK.

  How about a brewery? We can get food, good beer?

  Wonderful, there’s a small pub on Adams that I’m fond of.

  Small is good. Far from the colleges is good too. 7:30?

  I’ll see you there.

  “Have you made your date?” David asked from the doorway. His hair was defying gravity on one side and matted on the other, and he was squinting against the sunlight filtering into KJ’s bedroom. “Also, I can’t find the spare toothbrush that’s mine.”

  “I have made my date. There’s a new toothbrush in the second drawer. Take your pick. I found your last one on the floor.”

  “And because you love me, you tossed it. You are the best, best friend,” David said as he turned around to slip into the bathroom. “Dude! These are kids’ toothbrushes! You are awesome!”

  “Haven’t I proven that shopping for you is the same as shopping for a ten-year-old?” KJ grumbled as he rolled out of bed and went to stand in front of his closet. It was better organized than most, which wasn’t hard. There were work clothes on the rack, including a special door hanger for his ties, and a small hanging shelf with his jeans. Everything else he wore was in his dresser, which was mostly T-shirts, but he didn’t want to wear some anime or TV show shirt to his first date.

  “Why am I so boring? Why don’t I buy myself some going-out clothes?” He let out a sigh and started moving his mostly pale white, off-white, and gray shirts along the rack. His shirts were nice but nothing exciting. He left that for his ties. Some were very weird since they’d been gifts from his students, but he loved those most of all.

  When he finally reached the deep, dark, far corner of the closet, he found a jade green polo shirt. There was no logo on the chest—thank God—so it couldn’t be dated. It probably fit. He hoped it’d fit, since he couldn’t remember when he got it or if he’d ever worn it. It might’ve been a gift? After pulling it out along with one of his better pairs of jeans, he stood in front of the standing mirror he had tucked in the corner to see how it looked and decided it’d be fine. And if it wasn’t, he had hours to go shopping for something else. Shopping two days in a row! God help me!

  THOMAS HELD his right arm across the counter while Marjorie wrapped a fresh roll of gauze over the bite he’d gotten from one of the gremlins the night before. The balm he’d had her apply was taking the sting from the wound and drawing out any venom that was still in his system.

  “Really, Thomas?” she said with a smirk as she pulled the bandage tight. “Trying to lose your hand to get the summer off?”

  “Very funny. Nation and I were caught by surprise. He was too fast to get hurt, and I got most of the poison off myself. I’m just not very good at wrapping up like a mummy on my own,” he told her before taking his arm back to text the flexibility of her work.

  “And I don’t have thumbs,” Nation said as he hopped onto the counter. “I got one of its eyes, though. Then it got away while Thomas was bleeding.”

  “It got away because you were licking the eye gunk from your paws.”

  “It was disgusting! Do you have any idea how sensitive cat toes are?”

  Thomas snorted and started clearing up the medical supplies before dropping sugar cubes into his tea. He took a deep breath, savoring the aroma of the Earl Grey, and narrowed his eyes at Nation. “Bullshit. You were licking it off your toes because you liked how it tasted.”

  “Do you two mind?” Marjorie said as she looked at her breakfast burrito like it came from a dumpster. “I’m trying to eat here. It’s time to open, and you either need to go upstairs or stop talking, mister.”

  “Fine.” Nation jumped off the counter, tail held straight up like a mast, and sauntered up the stairs. “Be glad I can’t cough up a hair ball anymore.”

  “On a daily basis.” He let out a sigh, tilted his head back, and rolled his shoulders. Their bickering was what they did, but there were days when he wasn’t in the mood. “Running into a nest last night was the last thing I wanted to do, next to going to a Council meeting. I must’ve been distracted.”

  “You have a date. That’s exciting, and you’ll probably be healed enough to go without the bandage by then. I’m only a little witch, but I can taste the power of the balm you whipped up. You’re amazing, Thomas, and I’m not just saying that because you pay me. But it helps.” She finished off her breakfast and then took their dishes upstairs, leaving Thomas to turn over the Open sign and unlock the doors.

  “Between you and the damned cat,” he tossed over his shoulder, “I don’t miss the snarky teenager at all.” Which was a huge lie.

  KJ ENDED up parking around the block from the brewery. It wasn’t very big, and this part of San Diego was too old to have good parking—you had to head into Mission Valley or newer suburbs to find a proper parking lot—but it was a nice night, and he didn’t mind. He looked around for Thomas’s car and then realized he didn’t know what the man drove. Somehow he doubted it was a minivan wrapped in the Equinox logo with a glittery star at the end of each windshield wiper.

  “Hey,” he said when he came around the corner and saw Thomas climbing out of the passenger seat of someone’s car. “I see we’ve got perfect timing.”

  “So it would seem,” Thomas answered as he shut the
car door, and KJ caught the driver, the woman he’d seen working at Equinox, give a thumbs-up. Thomas was wearing a lightweight dark blue pullover and khakis. KJ thought he looked great and debated telling Thomas that he approved.

  “Sorry, she’s very excited that I’m out and about.”

  “That’s what friends are for. My friend David was thrilled I was going on an actual date. You’d think we were monks or something.” KJ stepped beside Thomas, once again happy they weren’t too different in height. No awkwardness there if one thing led to another, which would be a very nice way to end an evening.

  “We’re lucky Star’s not here,” Thomas said with a snort. “I wouldn’t have had a moment’s peace. She texted me about you three times today. You have a fan.”

  “It’s only fair,” KJ said as he pulled open the door to the brewery. “I am a pretty big fan of hers too. You’ve raised one hell of a young woman. There’s nothing she can’t do if she sets her mind to it.”

  “You have no idea.”

  They waited a few moments and then were led to a nice table on the outside terrace and sat down. The waiter handed them a menu of the beers they made on-site and said he’d be back in a few minutes to take their orders. KJ noted that even though the waiter was cute, Thomas didn’t check him out as he walked away, which was a very nice sign.

  “Any suggestions?” he asked, leaning closer to Thomas and tipping the menu toward him.

  “I actually like their pear cider. It’s not for everyone. Their golden amber’s very nice, though. It may have ruined me for any other beer.”

  “You’re not much of a beer guy, then?”

  “Not really, to be honest. But I like the cider. I love the food, and it’s a very lovely evening.” Thomas offered him a warm smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle a little bit. “My company’s also quite nice.”