Young Love Dies Hard: The Young Brothers, Book 1

by Nikki Lane

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “How did you get here?”

  “Took the bus.” He grabbed the remote to the television and turned it on. The screen flashed blue.

  I scrunched my face. “Why did you take the bus?”

  “Uncle Jim’s truck died.” He gestured to the television. “Does this thing work?”

  “I only watch DVDs. It’s cheaper than cable.”

  He got up from the couch to look through the movie selection. He looked back at me. “What’s wrong?”

  I propped up on my elbows. “You took the bus?”

  “Yeah, we had plans, and I didn’t want to break them.”

  I flopped back down on the couch. I would have felt like even more of an asshole if I ended up canceling on him while he was on the bus.

  “Jacob, you could have told me you didn’t have a ride.”

  “It’s no big deal.”

  If I ever needed to take the bus, I’d probably end up in another state. “How are you going to get to school now?”

  He finally found a movie he was happy with and put it into the DVD player. “I dunno. Haven’t thought that far ahead.”

  “Well, the semester starts on Monday.”

  “Then I guess I’m taking the bus on Monday.”

  “Can’t you just call home and tell them you need money for a car?” It wasn’t like his parents wouldn’t send it.

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “Jacob…”

  “I don’t want to go crawling to my parents every time there’s a problem. Is that what you do?”

  He already knew the answer to that. “That’s different, and you know it.”

  He sat back on the couch and repositioned my feet back on his lap. “I know…but I just want to keep them out of it. Now, can we watch the movie?”

  “Okay,” I said, nuzzling deeper into the couch.

  * * * *

  After the movie, we ordered some takeout and ate on the living room floor, since there was no room to fit a kitchen table in my apartment.

  “Sorry about tonight,” I said, taking a bite of sushi.

  “What are you talking about? I’m having a great time.” He smiled wide, the dimples imprinted deep into each side of his mouth. “Movie and sushi? It’s like the perfect night.”

  “I’m sure you would have had a better time at the party.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I dunno.” I shrugged and looked down at my food. “Other people to see and meet. I know you were looking forward to seeing Sarah again.”

  Why did I say that? It kind of just fell out of my mouth. I was secretly relieved we didn’t go to the party. I was happy to be here with him—alone in my apartment. Just the two us. Here, I didn’t have to worry about what other people were thinking or what they’d say. If someone would recognize me from the club and blow up my spot in front of Jacob. I’d managed to keep it a well-hidden part of my life. But they were people who knew, and I couldn’t control who came into the club and who blabbed about what they saw. Surprisingly, Rich had kept quiet.

  “Who said I wanted to see Sarah again?”

  “I guess I just assumed.”

  Jacob took the last bite of his food and then crumpled the container in his hand. “Well, you assumed wrong.” He got up to throw the empty food containers in the trash. “I like spending time with you, Maeve.”

  “I like spending time with you, too.”

  “I hope once the semester starts, we can keep in touch.”

  “I’m sure we’ll see each other on campus. And when I come to visit Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim.”

  “Yeah, but I mean, I hope we can be friends again. Like on a regular basis.”

  “Sure, we will.”

  I hoped. I liked having him close. Having him back in my life made me feel good. It was a deep feeling, like I’d found something that I didn’t even know I was looking for. But I was hit with a brief moment of panic—what would happen when the semester started and we were both too busy. And what about the girl he’d inevitably meet and fall in love with? She wouldn’t approve of our friendship, especially not with a girl like me.

  He came back for my empty container and threw that away, too. “I better get going.”

  “You’re not taking the bus home.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Jacob, that’s ridiculous. It’s late. Why don’t you just stay here for the night?”

  “Really?” He looked at me like he wasn’t sure if I was being serious.

  “Yes. I don’t want you to spend the next two hours on some shitty bus.” I winced as I tried to get up from the floor. Not only was my ankle sore, but my leg had fallen asleep.

  Jacob came over to help me back on the couch. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course.” No one had ever slept in this apartment besides me as long as I’d lived here. But Jacob wasn’t just some guy I brought home to sleep with. He was a friend. The first friend I made when I ran away from home for the first time when I was eight. The first friend who made me feel like people could be still be trusted. Who knew about what is was like for me at home and didn’t ask questions even though I knew he’d wanted to.

  I grabbed a pillow from my bed and the extra blanket Aunt Meg had crocheted for me. “If you need anything, you know where the bedroom is.”

  “Okay,” he said, taking off his shoes. Thanks.”

  I hobbled toward the bedroom and stopped mid-stride. I wanted to say something to keep him with me. I didn’t want to lose him. Not just yet. Selfish, maybe. But I knew I couldn’t hold on to him forever. “You know—if you wanted—you could stay here with me.”

  “What do you mean? Like, move in here?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a shrug. “I mean…” I cracked my knuckles. “Just until you figure something else out. You can’t commute two hours on the bus when the semester starts.”

  He gave me the slighted hint of a smile. “Okay.”

  I smiled, too. “Okay. Great. Well, I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

  He nodded, and I continued toward the bedroom, resisting the urge to invite him to go with me.

  I rolled around bed restless for hours, thinking about Jacob moving in with me. I admit I hadn’t thought that one through. I got up for something to drink and saw Jacob lying on the couch in just his boxers, the blanket barely covering his body. Maybe it was a little stalkerish, but I watched him sleep from the kitchen, remembering the night we camped in the backyard when we were about eleven years old. That night I’d made another runaway attempt to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s house. They’d found me in the barn where I hid behind the bales of hay. Aunt Meg had called Jacob over to calm me down and keep me company. I’d cried in the tent, afraid to fall asleep. I was scared my father would find me and drag me back home. Jacob had told me not to worry, that he promised he would always protect me. It had been the first good night’s sleep I’d had in months.

  Chapter Eight

  Jacob drove my car as we made our way to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s. Since we’d become roommates last night, we had to make the trip to the farm to grab his stuff. I could just picture the look on Aunt Meg’s face when we told her our plan. Jacob had called earlier that morning to let them know he planned on coming back sometime in the afternoon. I’d told him not to mention anything about bringing me along. I wanted to surprise Kasey.

  “What’ll your parents say when they find out you’re staying with me?” I pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

  Jacob ripped it from my lips and threw it out the window. I’d gotten used to it. At this rate, I’d be cigarette free in a month.

  “My mother will probably think we’re engaged.”

  I smiled, remembering when his mom used to call me her future daughter-in-law. I would bet my first-born that she’d change her mind in a heartbeat if she knew me now.

  “Do you think Meg and Jim will be upset?” he asked.

  “Aunt Meg? Defini
tely not.” I cocked my head. “Uncle Jim might need some convincing.” I covered my mouth as I let out a huge yawn.

  Jacob gave me a funny look when I yawned again, only this time longer and louder.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  “Maybe you should think about getting a day job.”

  “Tried that, didn’t work out. Besides the money’s too good to pass up.”

  It wasn’t like I could call home as a safety net. I had no net. I was net-less. Flying through life, hoping I didn’t lose my grip and hit the ground with a splat. A minimum wage-paying job wasn’t going to cut it. I had food, rent, and school to pay for. I’d been sending money to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim for Kasey ever since I’d become her legal guardian. School stuff, asthma medication, doctor’s visits—all of it. Money had always been tight with them, even when I was living under their roof. I felt obligated to earn my share and contribute what I could, especially these last few months when the farm had really fallen into some serious trouble.

  “Money isn’t everything,” Jacob said.

  “Said the guy who never had to worry about money before.”

  He glanced over at me, one hand on the steering wheel. “Are you calling me spoiled?”

  I thought of a delicate way to say it. He always had a new wardrobe every school year, but he wasn’t afraid to work hard or get his hands dirty. “I’d consider privileged a better word.”

  He shook his head and made the final turn down the dirt driveway. Immediately, I noticed that Uncle Jim’s truck wasn’t there. Instead, there was a beat up four-door I didn’t recognize.

  “Who could that be?” Jacob asked.

  “I have no idea.”

  Jack barked near the barn but didn’t come running to greet us. He was probably in his pen, which meant nobody was home.

  Jacob held the screen door open while I used my key to open the door.

  “Hello?” I cried after stepping inside.

  The house was still. Everything in the kitchen was in order, just how Aunt Meg always kept it. I shrugged as Jacob walked in after me and headed toward his room.

  “I’m just going to grab some stuff.”

  I leaned against the kitchen counter, a little disappointed that nobody was home. I was really looking forward to the look on Kasey’s face. I pulled out my phone to keep myself busy as I waited for Jacob, when the stairs creaked. I froze, a little terrified someone was upstairs when the house was supposed to be empty. I opened my mouth to call Jacob when I caught a glimpse of who was making their way downstairs.

  The words shriveled in my mouth like bitter raisins.

  She stopped when she saw me; her mouth was parted and one hand rested on the banister.

  I sat straight up, the surge of blood pressure making me dizzy. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  It looked like she wasn’t sure whether she should come closer or stay where she was.

  “Maeve…I didn’t know you were going to be here.” She walked the rest of the way and stopped at the threshold of the kitchen. “Your aunt and uncle didn’t mention you were stopping by.”

  Her hair was grayer, and the familiar yellowing of a faded bruised shaded her slightly swollen eye. That bastard. He only managed to do one good thing his entire life and that was let me go live with Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim. I couldn’t take it at home anymore. Couldn’t take the muffled screaming and crashing furniture in the next room while I held my ear to the wall and listened to the threats he hurled at her as she cried out for him to stop.

  “What the hell are you doing here, Mom?”

  She held on to one of the kitchen chairs, like it was the only thing from keeping her vertical. “I’m staying with Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim for a bit.”

  I squinted my eyes. “What? Why?”

  I could see Jacob rounding the corner, his mouth opened to talk. But he stopped when he noticed I wasn’t alone. Mom turned to look at him.

  “Jacob, look how much you’ve grown.”

  He gave a short wave. “Hi, Mrs. Miller.”

  “Why are you here?” I shouted. Both of their gazes cut to me. “You need to leave. You don’t belong here.”

  “I left him, Maeve. And I had—”

  I scoffed. “So, you come here? You finally decided to leave, and you come here?”

  “I have nowhere else to go.”

  “No! I have nowhere else to go.” She couldn’t breach my safe haven. I couldn’t allow it. What would happen when he decided to come after her, which we both knew was going to happen.

  “I understand that you’re—”

  “You don’t get to say that you understand.”

  Jacob didn’t move. And I knew it was because he’d been through this with me before. He knew the drill—don’t ever leave me alone with them.

  “Where’s Kasey? Did you leave her with him?”

  “She was upset and went to Riley’s. If you would just let me explain.” She took a few steps closer to me, but I recoiled closer to the door. She stopped, probably sensing my hesitation. “I know you’re upset but—

  I held up two hands to block her words, her energy, whatever was making me feel like I was drowning. Guilt stabbed at me. I hadn’t been there for Kasey. When she needed me the most. I thought about how terrified I had been all those times I’d witnessed a fight between our parents. It crushed me to think she was feeling the same way.

  “I watched him beat you to a pulp. Until your eyes were so swollen you couldn’t see. And then listened as you defended him. Like…like it was your fault. I sat in my room, night after night, afraid—terrified—that you were going to die. So, yeah, I’m a little upset.”

  “I left, Maeve. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”

  “So what?” I shrieked. “You think that makes everything okay? That—that I can just forget about everything’s that happened?” I closed my eyes, trying to center myself in the room. A memory of my mother’s head being plunged into the toilet by my father’s hand sliced through me.

  I shook my head and stomped to the door. She called after me, but I ignored it. I promised myself the day I moved into Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s for good that I was done worrying about a situation I couldn’t control. I couldn’t fix it. And I had to stop trying. Had to stop caring or I would burst from the pain.

  I walked to the car and heard the crunch of gravel behind me. I took a deep breath and Jacob ran his hands on either side of my arms.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Sorry for what?” He turned me around so I was facing him. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  He pulled me into a hug, pressing me close to his body. It felt so good there in his arms. To be safe.

  “Stay in the car. I’m going to grab the rest of my stuff. And then I’m taking you home.”

  I sat in the car, gnashing my teeth, and waited for Jacob to come back. Mom didn’t show her face outside. Didn’t come after me. Not that I expected her to. When I asked to live with Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim, the word “Yes” dropped out of her mouth like one of her teeth after an argument with Dad. Of course, she had to ask his permission first. I overheard the whole thing. By the end of the conversation, she’d managed to convince him that it was his idea. I’d gone to live at the farm full-time less than a week later. I would never have to go back home again. And I never did. The anvil I’d been carrying on my back had disappeared, only to be replaced when Kasey had been born.

  Jacob didn’t take long, and I let out a deep breath when he came out of the house again.

  “Let’s get out of here.” He started the car.

  I rolled down the window, needing to feel the cool air hit my hot cheeks.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “When’s the last time you saw her?”

  “High school graduation. She just showed up. We had an argument because she didn’t think it was a good idea for me to take a couple years off before I started college.”

  I hadn’t e
ven planned on going to college. I had been focused on getting a job and working as much as I could. But after some gentle coaxing by Aunt Meg, I had decided to give college a try. I had been a good student in high school, after all. After the initial terror of going back to school had faded, the regret started to kick in. I’d been playing catch-up with other students my age.

  “If Meg and Jim are letting her stay there, maybe she really means to leave this time.”

  I glanced over at him before looking back out the window. “Doubt it.”

  Jacob pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road. He drummed his fingers over the steering wheel. “If you ever thought about seeing her again, I would take you.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” I said. “Do you know what my earliest memory of my parents is?” A few silent beats passed. “My dad smacking my mom clear across the face. I was four.” My heart was beating at a frantic pace. “What kind of mother does that? Allows her child to witness the things that I’ve seen? Do you know how many times I ran away to the farm?” My heartbeat started to pick up again. “Seventeen.” The sweat pooled in the creases of my palms. I knew the exact number because each time I’d hoped it would be the last. “And how many times do you think she came looking for me?”

  Jacob didn’t answer, but he knew the answer.

  “Zero,” I said.

  A few silent seconds passed. I thought about the first few times I’d run away. Doug had managed to stay on my tail for longer than I’d expected. That’s when I had found the shortcut through the woods. He’d always given up once I disappeared into the trees. After a while, my pounding footsteps had carved a new trail into the ground that led to the lake next to the farm.

  Jacob opened his mouth, but it took a few seconds for the words to come out. “I’m not going to say that I understand how you feel because I don’t. I have no fucking clue how you went through all of it. But the look on your mother’s face when I went back inside…I think she really means it this time, Maeve. And it might not be such a bad idea to give her a chance.”

  I grabbed my phone to call Kasey and make sure she was okay. “If she really cared, then she wouldn’t have just let number eighteen happen.”