Young Love Dies Hard: The Young Brothers, Book 1

by Nikki Lane

  “Where are you going with her?”

  This was a familiar voice, too. Jacob.

  “Who the hell are you?” Donny bellowed.

  “Jacob,” I croaked.

  “Maeve,” Jacob said. “I’m here.”

  He sounded panicked. How long had it been since he last heard from me? I didn’t have a clue what time it was.

  “What happened to her?” Jacob asked.

  “Tequila,” Donny said. “Lots of it.” He released his hold on me, but the ground felt like it was made of marshmallows.

  “I got her,” Jacob said, scooping me back up.

  I sighed in his arms, happy to be inhaling his scent. It brought me to a happy place, not like when I was in Donny’s arms.

  “Here,” Donny said after pulling something out of his car.

  It took me a second to realize he had tossed Jacob my bag. Thank goodness it had been zippered properly.

  “I’ll get the coat another night.” Donny’s car rocked as he got back in and drove off.

  My eyes fluttered.

  “Maeve?” Jacob said. “Can you hear me?”

  I nodded. The swaying of his movement was lulling me to sleep.

  “You’re home.” It was the last thing he said until we were back in the apartment.

  “Can you stand for a few seconds?” he asked. “I have to unlock the door.”

  I nodded again and clutched his shoulder with one hand. I tried to crack my eyes open a little wider, but the room was spinning.

  “Jacob…”

  “Almost there,” he said, putting the key in the door.

  My stomach gurgled and the back of my throat got thick.

  “Jacob…”

  He pushed the front door open, and I lurched past him, heading straight for the bathroom.

  I hunched in front of the toilet and heaved liquid into the bowl. When it was over, I slunk on the cold tile floor.

  “Come on.” Jacob tried to pull me up, but I resisted.

  “Just leave me here,” I said.

  “You’re covered in puke,” he said.

  “I don’t care.” I flopped my head back down. I’d have to get Donny’s coat dry cleaned before I gave it back.

  “Take the coat off at least and get changed.”

  Oh shit, what was I wearing under the coat? A quick look at my legs confirmed I wasn’t wearing my work clothes. I had a vague recollection of hanging onto Rita as she helped me get dressed.

  “Can’t send you home with both ass cheeks hanging out,” she had said.

  Thank goodness for Rita.

  I peeled off the coat and tossed it onto the floor. Jacob picked it up, and my head was once again over the toilet.

  I threw up a few more times until it was just dry heaving. Jacob finally convinced me to get into bed. I didn’t bother to get changed, so I didn’t blame him when he chose to sleep on the couch.

  Chapter Twenty

  The throbbing in my head only got worse when I tried to sit up in bed. I clutched my forehead and stood up, hoping there was some ibuprofen left in the medicine cabinet. A rancid smell was following me across the room, and when I saw myself in the bathroom mirror, I knew why.

  The front of my shirt was crusted over with vomit; it was even in my hair. My mascara had formed black rings around my eyes. I grabbed a pill from the bottle and took a sip from the faucet to choke it down.

  I couldn’t stand the sight—or smell—of myself, so I turned on the hot water to take a shower. As I washed up, I tried to recollect the events of last night, or rather, the wee hours of this morning. Bits and pieces came to me, but not the overall picture. It’d been months since I had a night like that.

  The front door opened and closed. I stilled in the bathroom, too afraid to move. I didn’t want to face Jacob. Not now. I wasn’t ready. He’d definitely see me if I walked back to the bedroom. I got dressed and brushed my teeth, taking care to cover each tooth thoroughly, biding my time.

  I could hear him walking around the kitchen, opening and closing the refrigerator and then the cabinet doors. I peeked through the doorway to watch him.

  When he turned his back, I crept back into the bedroom. After I crawled under the comforter, the sound of his footsteps approached the room. I sunk deeper under the blanket and seriously considered feigning sleep.

  The smell of coffee wafted through the room.

  I peered over the comforter. Jacob set down a twenty-four-ounce cup of coffee from the corner store.

  I looked up at him. “Thank you.” I sounded like I had nails in my throat.

  He didn’t say anything. Just stood there a few seconds, a blank expression on his face.

  “I have to leave for a little while,” he finally said.

  I didn’t like the sound of his voice. I shot up, wincing from my still throbbing head.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  He stopped and turned around. “Grocery store. I want to get there before they close. There’s nothing to eat.”

  “Do you want me to come along?” I felt like crap, but I didn’t want him to leave like this. Something felt…off.

  “Get some rest. I’ll be back soon.”

  He didn’t wait for me to say anything and left. I had this fear that he wouldn’t come back. Maybe it had started when his parents found out that we’d been sharing my car. To them, it was completely unacceptable, and they had made sure Jacob got a replacement.

  I grabbed the coffee and took a careful sip. Panic struck me right in the chest when a thought hit me—my car was still at the club. What would happen when Jacob offered to drive me there to pick it up? I flung myself out of bed and rummaged through my purse to find my phone. I dialed Sarah’s number, praying that she was awake.

  “Hello,” she mumbled.

  “I need your help,” I said.

  It sounded like she was stretching. “Yes?”

  “I need you to drive me to work so I can get my car.”

  “Now?”

  “Now. Like, right now.”

  “Can’t you just have Jacob take you?”

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

  She yawned into the phone. “Fine. Be there in ten minutes.”

  “Thank you.”

  I hung up the phone, changed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, and threw on some shoes. Thankfully, the ibuprofen had finally done its job, and it was comfortable to move my head.

  I waited by the door, and Sarah barely had to knock before I was dragging her back to her car. It was an hour of driving, and we could make it back before Jacob got home if the universe was on my side.

  By the time I got back to the apartment, the sun had fallen. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn’t see Jacob’s car in the parking lot.

  I walked into the dark apartment and flicked on the lights. Seconds later, the doorknob of the front door rattled, and Jacob walked in.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey.” He had the same droopy look from before.

  I grabbed one of the brown paper bags in his hand.

  “I saw your car in the parking lot,” he said.

  I set the bag down on the counter and loaded the groceries in the fridge—orange juice, my favorite yogurt.

  “Yeah, Sarah offered to help me pick it up.”

  “I would have taken you.” He put a box of cereal in the cabinet.

  “She was on her way to work, anyway.”

  He nodded and folded the brown paper bag before walking out of the kitchen.

  “So, about last night,” he said.

  “I had a little too much to drink,” I said with a shrug. How good could I play this off?

  “A few drinks?” he scoffed. “You could barely form a sentence last night. You had to be carried into the apartment.”

  “I was upset,” I said. “So, I had a few drinks to get through the night.”

  It wasn’t the first time I had to be carried home after a night of partying. But I never had anyo
ne to answer to when that happened. Now, things were different. “You act like it’s the end of the world or something.” I rounded the counter to meet him in the living room.

  “I was worried out of my mind last night. Do you understand that? You didn’t return any of my texts or calls.” I could tell he was trying not to raise his voice.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but he wasn’t finished.

  “I started to think, maybe she got into an accident on the way home. Maybe there was another incident at work and she was hurt. I actually got in the car to look for you, but then I’d realized I had no fucking clue where to go. And then you come home completed wasted? How could you be so reckless?”

  “It was one night, Jacob. And I’m home in one piece.”

  I could tell it wasn’t good enough for him.

  “How can you drink like that?” I braced myself for what he would say next. “After everything you’ve been through with—”

  “Don’t say it,” I said. “I’m not anything like him.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  My heart drummed in my ears. I wanted to crawl in a dark hole. “Fuck you, Jacob. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I know more than you think.”

  “Why? Because we’ve known each other since we were kids? You think that makes you an expert on my life?” I folded my hands over my chest and walked toward him. “You missed a lot while you were away. People change, okay? And I’m not the same girl I was when you left. I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”

  “Look.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just trying to look after you. Why are you acting like that’s a bad thing?”

  “I don’t need you looking out for me. I’m perfectly capable of handling things on my own. I was doing it fine way before you showed up, and I’ll be just as fine when you leave.” The words just fell out. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the frustration of not remembering everything I did last night.

  Jacob swiped at his face. “Then maybe I should go.” He grabbed his bookbag and stomped into my room. I followed him there.

  “What are you doing?” My voice had regained a calm tone.

  “What does it look like?”

  “It looks like you’re packing.”

  He didn’t respond and shoved some of his clothes into the bag.

  “Where are you going?” I followed him into the bathroom where he grabbed his toothbrush and threw that into the bag.

  “I’m leaving, Maeve.”

  “I got that part, but where?”

  No response.

  “Jacob.”

  I continued to follow him back into the living room until he reached the front door. I used to have panic attacks when I was younger, but they went away after I moved to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s, and I hadn’t had one since. But at that moment—realizing he was actually going to leave— it knocked the wind right out of me. That unpreventable feeling of dread consumed me in an instant.

  “Jacob, this is crazy.”

  Still no response. He reached for the doorknob.

  “Jacob, wait!” Tears pricked the back of my eyes. “Please…don’t go.” I couldn’t take a deep breath; the feeling was suffocating.

  He turned slowly to face me. The pain twisted his beautiful face, and the sight of it burned deep in my gut. I caused that face. I caused that pain. How could I do such a thing? How could I make it go away?

  “I have to go, Maeve.”

  I held on to his hand. “You don’t have to go. Please.”

  “Why? You don’t want me here.”

  I held his face, and his eyes met mine. The blades of my fingers caressed the stubble over his jaw.

  “It’s not true,” I said.

  “Why are you doing this?” he asked. “I can’t pretend that what happened last night is no big deal.”

  I nodded. “I’m so sorry, Jacob.”

  “It kills me to see you like this. The only thing worse was watching the way you were last night. You scared the shit out of me, Maeve.”

  “It will never happen again.”

  His body relaxed against mine, and the feeling brought me such comfort.

  “Promise me,” he said.

  “I promise.” I leaned in for a kiss and was relieved when he kissed me back.

  He dropped his bag on the floor and continued to kiss me. He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor. I had no intention of stopping him as he pushed my back toward the wall. He hitched his fingers on the band of my sweatpants and panties and yanked them down. In one swift movement, he twirled me around so that my hands were braced against the wall. He enveloped my body, his sinewy arms encasing me, his hard-on pressed against me.

  “Tell me you want me to stay,” he said into my ear.

  The ache between my legs was unbearable. Jacob knew how to put me in my place, and I loved every second of it.

  “I want you to stay,” I said, barely able to speak as his lips traveled down my neck. “Please don’t leave me.”

  He shed his pants and then grabbed two handfuls of my backside. Soon, he was inside of me. I was already so worked up that it wasn’t going to take much more to fall over the edge. I knew I had bought myself some more time before I’d have to answer his questions. I was already pushing my luck. But in that moment, in his arms, my bare body against his, that time seemed far away.

  I braced against the wall with more force as Jacob pumped his hips. Just when I thought I’d see stars, I came so hard it almost hurt. My moans must have set him off because it wasn’t long after that when Jacob’s body released. We stood there, me leaning against the wall for support and Jacob covering me from behind, sweaty and panting.

  “We have to do that again,” I said after turning to face him.

  He trembled over me and brushed his lips against mine. We lurched to the bedroom and flopped down, depleted.

  He cradled me in his arms, gently sweeping the hair away from my face.

  “Why were so you awkward with me when we first saw each other?” I asked. I didn’t know why I blurted out the question at that exact moment, but I’d been thinking about it for a while.

  “What do you mean?”

  I looked up at him. “Those first few days we’d spent together on the farm. You acted strangely, like you didn’t want to be around me.”

  “That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  “Then why?” I shifted my body so that we were facing one another.

  He kissed my shoulder. “When I first saw you again at the BBQ, I thought—wow, how’s it possible to be that beautiful? And then I thought—there was no way you would give me the time of day, for anything more than friendship, anyway.”

  “Is that why you kept turning me down?” I mumbled.

  He let out a small laugh. “Yeah, that was pretty stupid.” He traced a line from my cheek to my mouth and brushed my lips with his thumb. “But I guess I just knew deep down, and I was afraid to face it.”

  “Knew what?”

  “That I’d fall in love with you all over again.”

  My once calm heartbeat was now knocking against my bare chest. He pressed his lips on mine, and everything inside of me was soothed.

  “Goodnight, Maeve.” He turned out the light for bed.

  A few seconds passed as the words sunk in. I lay there, wondering what to say. I’d been afraid of this all along. Hearing those words that sent me into panic mode. Nothing good ever lasted. I had known that. It was etched into my brain like a scar from a deep wound. And then I realized, maybe he hadn’t expected me to say anything at all. For a few moments, an unexpected calm fell over me. Jacob nuzzled close to me, seeming content to just go to sleep, and I was almost convinced that nothing could ever change between us.

  * * * *

  I swept my hand over the nightstand, trying to grab my ringing phone without having to actually open my eyes.

  “Hello?” I muttered.

  “Mae
ve, she’s gone,” Aunt Meg cried.

  I propped up on my elbows, my eyes squinting from the sunlight pouring into the room. “What are talking about?”

  “Kasey,” she said.

  I sat on the edge of the bed, hearing the panic in her voice. “Did you call Riley?”

  “Yes, I-I called everyone I could think of, and no one’s seen here.”

  There’s nothing like waking up to a crisis. Jacob rustled in the bed. He sat up and leaned against the headboard, his eyebrows furrowed as I listened to Aunt Meg on the phone.

  I dodged around the room for a change of clothes.

  “Okay, okay,” I said to her. “I’ll be right there.” I hung up and tossed the phone on the bed.

  “What’s going on?” Jacob said.

  “Kasey’s run away.” I threw on jeans and dug in my drawer for a bra.

  “What?” He swung his legs off the bed and stood up. The sight of him in nothing but his underwear still took me off-guard. “When?”

  I shook my head and threw on a shirt. “Sometime between last night and this morning. Aunt Meg said she checked on Kasey before she went to bed last night and found her room empty this morning.”

  “I’ll go with you,” he said.

  “Don’t you have class and work?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “No, Jacob. You can’t skip. Not for this.”

  “I want to help.”

  “I know,” I said. “But you need to stay.”

  He followed me to the living room where I grabbed my purse and keys.

  “Any idea where she might have gone?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “It’s her first runaway attempt. Solo one, anyway.”

  “Why did you always run away to the farm?” He leaned against the open door as I stood in the hallway.

  “It was home to me. Kasey never fell in love with it like I did.”

  My eyes widened a little when the thought hit me.

  “What?” Jacob said.

  “I think I know where she is.”

  * * * *

  I called Aunt Meg on the road to get the name of the shelter Mom had been staying at. I’d lost the piece of paper where she’d written it down the first time.

  “Safe Haven,” she said. “Why?”

  “I think that’s where Kasey is.”