Forbidden Choices

by Jen Weddle

  Chapter 29

  I stare at the small velvet box that’s been sitting on my bedside table all week. Riley hasn’t talked to me since he gave me the box. He hasn’t acknowledged my existence at any of the meals and, he ignored me even when we had to practice marching together for his sister’s wedding.

  He hasn’t snuck into my room to cuddle with me in the middle of the night. It’s been strangely lonely and absent here. I don’t want him to hate me… but could I really be dishonest with him about my feelings for Theo?

  I pick the box up and a sudden burst of light glows from the tips of my fingers. The box starts to spin upward as if suspended in midair and I become incredibly dizzy and light-headed. The box crashes to the ground as images fill my mind. I feel like I’m underwater from the pressure pounding in my head.

  I can see Theo off in the distance. He’s talking to a strange disfigured man in whispers. The man has to stoop down to listen to Theo. Riley is standing beside me. The disfigured man is putting his hand inside of his pocket, and now he has something in it. Theo isn’t paying attention to the man for a moment because Blair’s high-pitched laughter has distracted him; the strange man lodges the dagger in Theo’s heart. Now Blair is screaming and I’m screaming—but Riley won’t let me go. He’s holding me and then he points at my hand where I’m wearing a wedding ring. A beautiful dark purple stone sits in the middle of four petite transcendent stones in a silver setting with engraved branches around the edges. It’s so breathtaking, I forget about Theo.

  “Take the ring off.” The stranger shouts, but I can’t get it off my finger. I struggle to pull and tug at the ring, but it won’t budge. I look up to see Blair holding Theo’s lifeless body in her arms sobbing, but I can’t feel anything but emptiness. The purple stone dislodges from the ring and starts to float towards the stranger’s outstretched hand—Riley’s eyes grow wide and I scream.

  My head hits the hard wooden floor of my bedroom. And I squint as the lights start to get bright and out of focus. I close my eyes for a few moments and things begin to return back to normal when I open them again.

  I stare at the box on the floor next to me; I haven’t even opened it yet. It couldn’t hurt to look at it. Maybe it’s not the same ring as in the vision.

  I slowly reach for the ring but a sharp pain races up my arm. I continue to reach for it, ignoring the searing pain in my hand. I open the box gently. My arm feels as if it’s been stuck in hot magma, it burns and I can hear my skin sizzle. I look at the ring and realize that it’s the same ring from the vision.

  Should this impact my decision?

  Do I ignore the bad omen that this ring has already given to me or do I embrace it?

  A soft knock at the door startles me, and I quickly shut the box again with a snap.

  Lucas pokes his head in for a moment and looks alarmed to see me on the ground.

  “Are you alright?” He asks, looking worried. He walks over to me and musters all the strength in his little arms to help me up off the ground.

  “I’m okay.” I reply, staring at the box on the ground and trying to ignore the agonizing pain in my arm and head.

  “The wedding is about to start. Everyone else was too afraid to wake you.”

  “Thanks, Lucas.” I reply, stooping down to embrace him in a hug. He tugs at the bowtie that he’s wearing embarrassed.

  “I’ll see you soon.” He whispers, racing towards the door and slamming it shut.

  I manage to straighten out my hair that has decided to be extra frustrating today. It finally becomes silky and straight after the brush goes through it a thousand times. I dab on a little bit of perfume that smells like honey and wildflowers. I add a small amount of plum lipstick and sparkly gray eye shadow that makes it look like a thousand diamonds have landed on my eyes.

  I pucker my lips one last time and add the dress as a finishing touch. I look at myself in the full length mirror and admire the image that reflects back. I look older, more mature but aware of something. I’m aware that I’ll never be as myself as I feel right now. I’ll never truly fit in anywhere else.

  The pink gemstones cascade in a V-pattern down the deep cut in the front of my dress. Benjamin was kind enough to sew more gemstones on the back of the dress where there were only folds of plain and translucent fabric. I look stunning and elegant. I smile, tugging one strand of hair behind my ear and letting my bangs cascade around my face.

  I turn towards the door, almost forgetting the small box on the ground I pick it up and put it in my clutch for later.

  The beautiful music greets me at the bottom of the stairs and everyone turns their head to look at me. I can hear the crowd growing louder with impatience as I fight to find my place next to the rest of the wedding party.

  The marching music starts playing slowly, rippling majestically through the Great Hall. The harpist smiles lazily, strumming key notes and her hair is as golden as the strings of her harp. The melody is enchanting and Riley takes my arm in his. I try to get a look at his face, but it’s impossible to keep in rhythm and look at him so I just concentrate on one thing.

  My stomach feels as if it’s in a giant knot that takes over the both of us, and I feel nauseous. This is the first time we’ve had any kind of interaction for seven days.

  The music continues to play enthusiastically in the background. I catch a glimpse of Riley’s sullen face. He looks over at me and his eyes burn into me full of agitation.

  Helena had to postpone the ceremony after the attack on the castle so that they could get everything in order and make sure that everyone was rested and healed for the event. I helped her plan out every detail of the wedding. It helped keep me busy so I would stop thinking about Riley.

  I still haven’t told him about my decision… I’m still not sure if it’s the right one. But I know that being this close to him is painful, especially knowing that I’ve already hurt him once. It’s as if I can feel the same emotion that he’s feeling. It burns inside when I know he’s sad or angry.

  People stare astounded at us as we walk down the center of the aisle. I try to focus on the rest of the events surrounding us.

  Riley’s youngest sister is blowing her nose loudly and crying but the rest of the wedding party looks upbeat and cheerful. Riley lets go of my arm as we reach the front of the ceremony. I want him to hold it just a little bit longer but I oblige and I go stand next to Anna.

  After us, Alice and Ted prance down the aisle smiling from ear to ear at the attention. Ted is Riley’s older cousin, they look almost identical. Ted has tan skin, light blonde hair and striking green eyes. Alice giggles as she stands next to me; her face is hot and flushed because of something Ted whispered into her ear only moments ago.

  Helena told me that Ted and Alice have known they were Soulfires since they were young, but that they were waiting for the right time before they made it official. Alice eyes Ted cautiously and then she leans over to me.

  “Ted proposed!” She whispers enthusiastically with her hand cupped to my ear. I look down to see a stunning silver ring with a simple square diamond.

  “It’s beautiful. Congratulations, I’m happy for you both.” I whisper back, giving my best half-hearted smile. Riley looks over at us and rolls his eyes. He’s so moody. This is a day of celebration, not irritable mood swings. He’s been extra callous to everyone the last few days, especially if he sees me talking to someone or smiling or laughing. He’ll ignore that person, storming out of room and slamming doors behind him.

  The upbeat music transforms into a peaceful lull and the crowd begins to hush as they turn around to look for the bride as she enters the dimly lit room that smells like rose petals and lavender. It really is beautifully decorated with hundreds of small white lanterns, flickering candles, white rose petals and lavender line the aisle.

  This is the first time that anyone has seen Helena’s dress. Now I realize why she wanted it kept secret—it’s breathtaking.

  Every inch of the fabric sparkles w
hen she walks and the bottom puffs out in mountains of overlaying tulle material. The sweetheart neckline cuts deeply downward, but isn’t too revealing—there is still plenty left for the imagination. I catch myself fantasizing about my own wedding dress.

  I could only dream of looking as beautiful and radiant as Helena does at this moment. I catch the groom staring at Helena with his mouth agape. I think that he’s definitely surprised by the extravagant dress that makes her look exquisite.

  Helena smiles, waving to the crowd as the flower girls dance around her, throwing flowers at her feet. She stops in front of the groom and they take each other’s hands, gripping tightly to one another. The music abruptly stops and silence follows.

  “George, do you take Helena to be your wife? Do you pledge…” the priest drones on and on. I try to focus on the bride and groom but my attention keeps finding Riley more intriguing. He keeps staring over at me. Finally, he grins. I smile back; it’s the first time that he has had something on his face other than food or a scowl. I’m not sure what exactly the smile means. Maybe he’s forgiven me?

  “And you may now kiss the bride.”

  George and Helena become entangled in what feels like an endless kiss and it makes my heart yearn for that kind of passion and love. I want a kiss that feels like seconds but in reality it’s longer—I want the kind of kiss that I don’t want to ever end.

  I look over at Riley. I could have that kind of love with him. We could be happy, even if we’re constantly bickering. The room wouldn’t be quite so bright without him in it and my conversations wouldn’t be as exciting because he challenges me to be better and to dig deeper. He understands compassion and emotion.

  But I could have that with Theo. He’s kind and smart. He’s analytical and he can protect me from the Shadows that want to get me—but then again he’s also one of those Shadows at times. The real Theo is the one that I love, not the Theo who’s forced to murder and do awful things against his will. Not the icy blue-eyed monster that wants to hurt people. Theo could make me happy even if he wasn’t always himself.

  Everyone starts to clap and cheer as Helena and George finally end their passionate romantic kiss. The music starts up again to let the crowd know that the festivities are about to start. The bride and groom let go of each other and George tosses Helena in the air and holds her in his arms, carrying her down the aisle. Helena laughs joyously and George smiles protectively looking at her.

  Riley has a different idea.

  “We’re ditching the reception.” He whispers as we follow the bride and groom down the aisle to the Great Hall where food and drinks await us. I punch him in the arm. He rubs it and looks offended.