Baby Mine

by Margaret Mayo

  CHAPTER XXIX

  Now, had Jimmy been less perturbed during the latter part of thiscommotion, he might have heard the bell of the outside door, whichhad been ringing violently for some minutes. As it was, he was whollyunprepared for the flying advent of Maggie.

  "Oh, plaze, sir," she cried, pointing with trembling fingers towardthe babes in Jimmy's arms, "me fadder's coming right behind me. He'sa-lookin' for you sir."

  "For me," murmured Jimmy, wondering vaguely why everybody on earthseemed to be looking for HIM.

  "Put 'em down, sir," cried Maggie, still pointing to the three babies,"put 'em down. He's liable to wallop you."

  "Put 'em where?" asked Jimmy, now utterly confused as to which way toturn.

  "There," said Maggie, and she pointed to the cradle beneath his veryeyes.

  "Of course," said Jimmy vapidly, and he sank on his knees and strove tolet the wobbly creatures down easily.

  Bang went the outside door.

  "That's Pa now," cried Maggie. "Oh hide, sir, hide." And with thatdisconcerting warning, she too deserted him.

  "Hide where?" gasped Jimmy.

  There was a moment's awful silence. Jimmy rose very cautiously from thecradle, his eyes sought the armchair. It had always betrayed him. Heglanced toward the window. It was twelve stories to the pavement. Helooked towards the opposite door; beyond that was the mad Italian woman.His one chance lay in slipping unnoticed through the hallway; he madea determined dash in that direction, but no sooner had he put his headthrough the door, than he drew it back quickly. The conversation betweenO'Flarety and the maid in the hallway was not reassuring. Jimmy decidedto take a chance with the Italian mother, and as fast as he could, hestreaked it toward the opposite door. The shrieks and denunciations thathe met from this direction were more disconcerting than those ofthe Irish father. For an instant he stood in the centre of the room,wavering as to which side to surrender himself.

  The thunderous tones of the enraged father drew nearer; he threw himselfon the floor and attempted to roll under the bed; the space between therailing and the floor was far too narrow. Why had he disregarded Aggie'sadvice as to diet? The knob of the door handle was turning--he vaultedinto the bed and drew the covers over his head just as O'Flarety,trembling with excitement, and pursued by Maggie, burst into the room.

  "Lave go of me," cried O'Flarety to Maggie, who clung to his arm in avain effort to soothe him, and flinging her off, he made straight forthe bed.

  "Ah," he cried, gazing with dilated nostrils at the trembling objectbeneath the covers, "there you are, mum," and he shook his fist abovewhat he believed to be the cowardly Mrs. Hardy. "'Tis well ye may coverup your head," said he, "for shame on yez! Me wife may take in washing,but when I comes home at night I wants me kids, and I'll be after havin''em too. Where ar' they?" he demanded. Then getting no response from theagitated covers, he glanced wildly about the room. "Glory be to God!"he exclaimed as his eyes fell on the crib; but he stopped short inastonishment, when upon peering into it, he found not one, or two, butthree "barren."

  "They're child stalers, that's what they are," he declared to Maggie,as he snatched Bridget and Norah to his no doubt comforting breast. "Melittle Biddy," he crooned over his much coveted possession. "Me littleNorah," he added fondly, looking down at his second. The thought of hisnarrow escape from losing these irreplaceable treasures rekindledhis wrath. Again he strode toward the bed and looked down at the nowsemi-quiet comforter.

  "The black heart of ye, mum," he roared, then ordering Maggie to giveback "every penny of that shameless creetur's money" he turned towardthe door.

  So intense had been O'Flarety's excitement and so engrossed was he inhis denunciation that he had failed to see the wild-eyed Italian womanrushing toward him from the opposite door.

  "You, you!" cried the frenzied woman and, to O'Flarety's astonishment,she laid two strong hands upon his arm and drew him round until he facedher. "Where are you going with my baby?" she asked, then peering intothe face of the infant nearest to her, she uttered a disappointedmoan. "'Tis not my baby!" she cried. She scanned the face of the secondinfant--again she moaned.

  Having begun to identify this hysterical creature as the possible motherof the third infant, O'Flarety jerked his head in the direction of thecradle.

  "I guess you'll find what you're lookin' for in there," he said. Thenbidding Maggie to "git along out o' this" and shrugging his shouldersto convey his contempt for the fugitive beneath the coverlet, he sweptquickly from the room.

  Clasping her long-sought darling to her heart and weeping with delight,the Italian mother was about to follow O'Flarety through the door whenZoie staggered into the room, weak and exhausted.

  "You, you!" called the indignant Zoie to the departing mother. "How dareyou lock my husband in the bathroom?" She pointed to the key, which thewoman still unconsciously clasped in her hand. "Give me that key," shedemanded, "give it to me this instant."

  "Take your horrid old key," said the mother, and she threw it on thefloor. "If you ever try to get my baby again, I'll lock your husband inJAIL," and murmuring excited maledictions in her native tongue, she tookher welcome departure.

  Zoie stooped for the key, one hand to her giddy head, but Aggie, who hadjust returned to the room, reached the key first and volunteered to goto the aid of the captive Alfred, who was pounding desperately on thebathroom door and demanding his instant release.

  "I'll let him out," said Aggie. "You get into bed," and she slippedquickly from the room.

  Utterly exhausted and half blind with fatigue Zoie lifted the coverletand slipped beneath it. Her first sensation was of touching somethingrough and scratchy, then came the awful conviction that the thingagainst which she lay was alive.

  Without stopping to investigate the identity of her uninvitedbed-fellow, or even daring to look behind her, Zoie fled from the roomemitting a series of screams that made all her previous efforts in thatdirection seem mere baby cries. So completely had Jimmy been envelopedin the coverlets and for so long a time that he had acquired a vaguefeeling of aloftness toward the rest of his fellows, and had lost allknowledge of their goings and comings. But when his unexpected companionwas thrust upon him he was galvanised into sudden action by her scream,and swathed in a large pink comforter, he rolled ignominiously from theupper side of the bed, where he lay on the floor panting and enmeshed,awaiting further developments. Of one thing he was certain, a great dealhad transpired since he had sought the friendly solace of the covers andhe had no mind to lose so good a friend as the pink comforter. By thetime he had summoned sufficient courage to peep from under its edge, ababel of voices was again drawing near, and he hastily drew back in hisshell and waited.

  Not daring to glance at the scene of her fright, Zoie pushed Aggiebefore her into the room and demanded that she look in the bed.

  Seeing the bed quite empty and noticing nothing unusual in the fact thatthe pink comforter, along with other covers, had slipped down behind it,Aggie hastened to reassure her terrified friend.

  "You imagined it, Zoie," she declared, "look for yourself."

  Zoie's small face peeped cautiously around the edge of the doorway.

  "Well, perhaps I did," she admitted; then she slipped gingerly into theroom, "my nerves are jumping like fizzy water."

  They were soon to "jump" more, for at this instant, Alfred, burning withanger at the indignity of having been locked in the bathroom, enteredthe room, demanding to know the whereabouts of the lunatic mother, whohad dared to make him a captive in his own house.

  "Where is she?" he called to Zoie and Aggie, and his eye roved wildlyabout the room. Then his mind reverted with anxiety to his newlyacquired offspring. "My boys!" he cried, and he rushed toward the crib."They're gone!" he declared tragically.

  "Gone?" echoed Aggie.

  "Not ALL of them," said Zoie.

  "All," insisted Alfred, and his hands went distractedly toward his head."She's taken them all."

  Zoie and Aggie looked at each other in a
dazed way. They had a hazyrecollection of having seen one babe disappear with the Italian woman,but what had become of the other two?

  "Where did they go?" asked Aggie.

  "I don't know," said Zoie, with the first truth she had spoken thatnight, "I left them with Jimmy."

  "Jimmy!" shrieked Alfred, and a diabolical light lit his features."Jimmy!" he snorted, with sudden comprehension, "then he's at it again.He's crazy as she is. This is inhuman. This joke has got to stop!" Andwith that decision he started toward the outer door.

  "But Allie!" protested Zoie, really alarmed by the look that she saw onhis face.

  Alfred turned to his trembling wife with suppressed excitement, andpatted her shoulder condescendingly.

  "Control yourself, my dear," he said. "Control yourself; I'll getyour babies for you--trust me, I'll get them. And then," he added withparting emphasis from the doorway, "I'll SETTLE WITH JIMMY!"

  By uncovering one eye, Jimmy could now perceive that Zoie and Aggiewere engaged in a heated argument at the opposite side of the room. Byuncovering one ear he learned that they were arranging a line of actionfor him immediately upon his reappearance. He determined not to wait forthe details.

  Fixing himself cautiously on all fours, and making sure that he waswell covered by the pink comforter, he began to crawl slowly toward thebedroom door.

  Turning away from Aggie with an impatient exclamation, Zoie suddenlybeheld what seemed to her a large pink monster with protruding clawswriggling its way hurriedly toward the inner room.

  "Look!" she screamed, and pointing in horror toward the dreadfulcreature now dragging itself across the threshold, she sank faintinginto Aggie's outstretched arms.

  CHAPTER XXX

  Having dragged the limp form of her friend to the near-by couch, Aggiewas bending over her to apply the necessary restoratives, when Alfredreturned in triumph. He was followed by the officer in whose arms werethree infants, and behind whom was the irate O'Flarety, the hystericalItalian woman, and last of all, Maggie.

  "Bring them all in here, officer," called Alfred over his shoulder."I'll soon prove to you whose babies those are." Then turning to Aggie,who stood between him and the fainting Zoie he cried triumphantly,"I've got them Aggie, I've got them." He glanced toward the empty bed."Where's Zoie?" he asked.

  "She's fainted," said Aggie, and stepping from in front of the youngwife, she pointed toward the couch.

  "Oh, my darling!" cried Alfred, with deep concern as he rushed to Zoieand began frantically patting her hands. "My poor frightened darling!"Then he turned to the officer, his sense of injury welling high withinhim, "You see what these people have done to my wife? She's fainted."Ignoring the uncomplimentary remarks of O'Flarety, he again bent overZoie.

  "Rouse yourself, my dear," he begged of her. "Look at me," he pleaded."Your babies are safe."

  "HER babies!" snorted O'Flarety, unable longer to control his pent upindignation.

  "I'll let you know when I want to hear from you," snarled the officer toO'Flarety.

  "But they're NOT her babies," protested the Italian woman desperately.

  "Cut it," shouted the officer, and with low mutterings, the outragedparents were obliged to bide their time.

  Lifting Zoie to a sitting posture Alfred fanned her gently until sheregained her senses. "Your babies are all right," he assured her. "I'vebrought them all back to you."

  "All?" gasped Zoie weakly, and she wondered what curious fate had beenintervening to assist Alfred in such a prodigious undertaking.

  "Yes, dear," said Alfred, "every one," and he pointed toward the threeinfants in the officer's arms. "See, dear, see."

  Zoie turned her eyes upon what SEEMED to her numberless red faces. "Oh!"she moaned and again she swooned.

  "I told you she'd be afraid to face us," shouted the now triumphantO'Flarety.

  "You brute!" retorted the still credulous Alfred, "how dare youpersecute this poor demented mother?"

  Alfred's persistent solicitude for Zoie was too much for the resentfulItalian woman.

  "She didn't persecute me, oh no!" she exclaimed sarcastically.

  "Keep still, you!" commanded the officer.

  Again Zoie was reviving and again Alfred lifted her in his arms andbegged her to assure the officer that the babies in question were hers.

  "Let's hear her SAY it," demanded O'Flarety.

  "You SHALL hear her," answered Alfred, with confidence. Then he beckonedto the officer to approach, explaining that Zoie was very weak.

  "Sure," said the officer; then planting himself directly in front ofZoie's half closed eyes, he thrust the babies upon her attention.

  "Look, Zoie!" pleaded Alfred. "Look!"

  Zoie opened her eyes to see three small red faces immediately oppositeher own.

  "Take them away!" she cried, with a frantic wave of her arm, "take themaway!"

  "What?" exclaimed Alfred in astonishment.

  "What did I tell you?" shouted O'Flarety. This hateful reminder broughtAlfred again to the protection of his young and defenceless wife.

  "The excitement has unnerved her," he said to the officer.

  "Ain't you about done with my kids?" asked O'Flarety, marvelling how anyman with so little penetration as the officer, managed to hold down a"good payin' job."

  "What do you want for your proof anyway?" asked the mother. But Alfred'sfaith in the validity of his new parenthood was not to be so easilyshaken.

  "My wife is in no condition to be questioned," he declared. "She's outof her head, and if you don't----"

  He stepped suddenly, for without warning, the door was thrown open and asecond officer strode into their midst dragging by the arm the reluctantJimmy.

  "I guess I've got somethin' here that you folks need in your business,"he called, nodding toward the now utterly demoralised Jimmy.

  "Jimmy!" exclaimed Aggie, having at last got her breath.

  "The Joker!" cried Alfred, bearing down upon the panting Jimmy with aferocious expression.

  "I caught him slipping down the fire-escape," explained the officer.

  "Again?" exclaimed Aggie and Alfred in tones of deep reproach.

  "Jimmy," said Alfred, coming close to his friend, and fixing his eyesupon him in a determined effort to control the poor creature's fastfailing faculties, "you know the truth of this thing. You are the onewho sent me that telegram, you are the one who told me that I was afather."

  "Well, aren't you a father?" asked Aggie, trying to protect her dejectedspouse.

  "Of course I am," replied Alfred, with every confidence, "but I have toprove it to the officer. Jimmy knows," he concluded. Then turning tothe uncomfortable man at his side, he demanded imperatively, "Tell theofficer the truth, you idiot. No more of your jokes. Am I a father or amI not?"

  "If you're depending on ME for your future offspring," answered Jimmy,wagging his head with the air of a man reckless of consequences, "youare NOT a father."

  "Depending on YOU?" gasped Alfred, and he stared at his friend inbewilderment. "What do you mean by that?"

  "Ask them," answered Jimmy, and he nodded toward Zoie and Aggie.

  Alfred appealed to Aggie.

  "Ask Zoie," said Aggie.

  Alfred bent over the form of the again prostrate Zoie. "My darling,"he entreated, "rouse yourself." Slowly she opened her eyes. "Now," saidAlfred, with enforced self-control, "you must look the officer squarelyin the eye and tell him whose babies those are," and he nodded towardthe officer, who was now beginning to entertain grave doubts on thesubject.

  "How should _I_ know?" cried Zoie, too exhausted for further lying.

  "What!" exclaimed Alfred, his hand on his forehead.

  "I only borrowed them," said Zoie, "to get you home," and with that shesank back on the couch and closed her eyes.

  "What did I tell you?" cried the triumphant O'Flarety.

  "I guess they're your'n all right," admitted the officer doggedly, andhe grudgingly released the three infants to their rightful parents.

 
; "I guess they'd better be," shouted O'Flarety; then he and the Italianwoman made for the door with their babes pressed close to their hearts.

  "Wait a minute," cried Alfred. "I want an understanding."

  O'Flarety turned in the doorway and raised a warning fist.

  "If you don't leave my kids alone, you'll GIT 'an understanding.'"

  "Me too," added the mother.

  "On your way," commanded the officer to the pair of them, and togetherwith Maggie and the officer, they disappeared forever from the Hardyhousehold.

  Alfred gazed about the room. "My God!" he exclaimed; then he turned toJimmy who was still in the custody of the second officer: "If I'm not afather, what am I?"

  "I'd hate to tell you," was Jimmy's unsympathetic reply, and in utterdejection Alfred sank on the foot of the bed and buried his head in hishands.

  "What shall I do with this one, sir?" asked the officer, undecided as toJimmy's exact standing in the household.

  "Shoot him, for all I care," groaned Alfred, and he rocked to and fro.

  "How ungrateful!" exclaimed Aggie, then she signalled to the officer togo.

  "No more of your funny business," said the officer with a parting nod atJimmy and a vindictive light in his eyes when he remembered the bruisesthat Jimmy had left on his shins.

  "Oh, Jimmy!" said Aggie sympathetically, and she pressed her hot faceagainst his round apoplectic cheek. "You poor dear! And after all youhave done for us!"

  "Yes," sneered Zoie, having regained sufficient strength to stagger toher feet, "he's done a lot, hasn't he?" And then forgetting that heroriginal adventure with Jimmy which had brought about such disastrousresults was still unknown to Aggie and Alfred, she concluded bitterly,"All this would never have happened, if it hadn't been for Jimmy and hishorrid old luncheon."

  Jimmy was startled. This was too much, and just as he had seemed to bewell out of complications for the remainder of his no doubt short life.He turned to bolt for the door but Aggie's eyes were upon him.

  "Luncheon?" exclaimed Aggie and she regarded him with a puzzled frown.

  Zoie's hand was already over her lips, but too late.

  Recovering from his somewhat bewildering sense of loss, Alfred, too, wasnow beginning to sit up and take notice.

  "What luncheon?" he demanded.

  Zoie gazed from Alfred to Aggie, then at Jimmy, then resolving to makea clean breast of the matter, she sidled toward Alfred with her mostingratiating manner.

  "Now, Alfred," she purred, as she endeavoured to act one arm abouthis unsuspecting neck, "if you'll only listen, I'll tell you the REALTRUTH."

  A wild despairing cry from Alfred, a dash toward the door by Jimmy, anda determined effort on Aggie's part to detain her spouse, temporarilyinterrupted Zoie's narrative.

  But in spite of these discouragements, Zoie did eventually tell Alfredthe real truth, and before the sun had risen on the beginning of anotherday, she had added to her confession, promises whose happy fulfillmentwas evidenced for many years after by the chatter of glad young voices,up and down the stairway of Alfred's new suburban home, and the flutterof golden curls in and out amongst the sunlight and shadows of hisample, well kept grounds.