Steele Her Heart: Steel Bros Book 4

by Knox, Elizabeth

  “You have no clue how much I regretted not reaching out to you. I wanted to. I really did, but I kept fighting with my needs and my desires. I didn’t want you to be close to me, Lacey. Everyone close to me gets hurt. Look at Madigan.”

  Jordan’s younger sister was gutted like a fish not too long ago by some rivals of the Steele family. I believe it was her ex-boyfriend’s family, the one who she was with in New York before she moved down here to Atlanta.

  “That’s bullshit and we both know it. You’re trying to act noble, like a gentleman but we both know you’re not. As much as you may try, you’re neither.”

  “Damn, so what am I?”

  I close my mouth and think about what he’s asked, staring into his dark eyes. If this wasn’t our reality and we were of some paranormal realm, I’d believe he’s a trickster or some sort of mage.

  “A beast who prefers Armani.” Jordan smirks at my remark.

  “At least I have good taste.”

  “You have no idea what you did to me.” I mutter, the alcohol clearly effecting my train of thought.

  Almost as if I could physically see it the mood between us shifts to something much more intense. Pain, misery and regret flow between the two of us and I fight the emotions that want to take over me. When Jordan did what he did, I never shed a tear for him. I viewed it as weakness, looked at it like a lesson that I needed to learn the hard way, even if it hurt unlike anything else.

  Losing my parents was one type of loss but losing the potential happiness I had the pleasure of experiencing was something else entirely. The pain was totally different, and I don’t ever think Jordan understood how deeply it affected me.

  “No, I don’t. And I’m so sorry for it, for all of it.” Jordan states, pulling out his wallet he puts a hundred down on the table and throws a fifty on top of it, rising out of the booth. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

  His drink isn’t finished so I grab what’s left and finish it off and stand beside him. I waver back and forth a bit but he slides his hand around the small of my back and holds onto me, keeping me from falling down and making a fool of myself. I didn’t notice how the alcohol was affecting me until right now, a bit too late if you ask me.

  “Where’s your phone?” Jordan asks.

  “Uh . . . I don’t know.” I reply. Jordan pulls my purse toward him and then stops, pulling out his phone from his suit jacket instead. “What’re you doing!?” I demand an answer, raising my voice a bit louder than necessary.

  “I’m calling a friend to drive your Jeep back to your apartment. Is that alright?”

  “Ooo, yeah. I’d love that.”

  “Figured as much,” He responds lowly, grabbing at my purse again until he pulls my set of keys out. A man comes by and he tosses them into his hands. That must be his friend. Boy he got here fast.

  Jordan keeps his arm planted on my back as he walks up to his sports car and slides me into the passenger seat. He gets behind the wheel and I flutter my eyes as we pass through tons of city lights. “Why’d you do it?” I ask.

  “Do what?” He replies.

  “Leave like that.”

  A moment of silence takes us over when he finally responds, “I was afraid I’d hurt you, that somehow I’d corrupt you or cause you harm. What we do . . . it’s dangerous and all I could think about was you getting hurt in a physical way. It was reason enough to break your heart and have you hate me— because at least then you’d be okay, you’d be safe.”

  “But I was sad.”

  “People get over feelings, Lacey. You can’t be resurrected from the dead.” There’s a seriousness I’ve never sensed from him before, almost as if I’m speaking to an absolute stranger right now. It makes me realize Jordan didn’t want to hurt me but was aiming to protect me. Only, by protecting me and distancing himself he was hurting me.

  I remain quiet for the next ten or so minutes as he pulls into the parking garage of my apartment complex and helps me get out of the car. We’re both quiet as we walk inside my building, approach the elevator and even during the ride. Neither of us speak until he’s walked me directly in front of my door. I’m facing the door and put my code in, turning the knob to open it and contemplate going inside. But I don’t.

  Instead I turn to face him and look into the dark eyes that have captivated me for the last decade. “What do you want Jordan Steele?”

  He cranes his neck slightly, looks into my eyes and sucks in a breath. I feel as though he’s trying to keep it all locked inside his heart, but we can’t keep doing things like this. Hell, maybe I feel this way because I’m drunk. Maybe when I’m sober I’ll want to keep the distance between us, but right now I don’t. I only know what I want to hear pass through his lips.

  “This,” Jordan takes a step closer to me, placing his left hand on the side of my neck and wraps his other around my back. He holds me firmly as he meets his lips with mine, kissing me delicately. Passionate yet hopeful. Gentle yet fierce.

  I’m so tired of fighting and give in to him in this moment, kissing him back, loving the way it feels to be in his arms again. I know in the morning I’ll probably regret this, but right now I just want to feel like I’m his girl. All I want is for every worry, doubt and fear to fall on his shoulders. I crave for his strength to be enough for me too.

  He pulls away from me, “Get yourself inside and lock the door behind me. I’ll see you on Monday morning. Alright?”

  “You’re not coming inside?” I question, a bit upset by the fact.

  “I can’t do that, Lacey. Not with how . . . you’re under the influence right now.”

  Chapter Eight

  Love her in those moments when she struggles to love herself. Because that’s when she needs it the most.

  ~Kirsten Corley

  Jordan

  “If you think I haven’t fucked guys while I’m drunk you’ve lost your marbles.” Shit, I didn’t expect her to be so crass.

  “Lacey, we’re not doing this right now. Not when you’re plastered.”

  “Why, Jordan? Because you’re a gentleman? We’ve both established you’re not so how about we cut the shit and do what we both know I will now and won’t in the morning. I just want one night with you. Surely you can give me that.”

  Motherfucker. She’s drunk out of her mind and saying all the right shit to me. The shit she knows that will work. “Lace, I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  She pushes the door to her apartment open with the palm of her hand and slowly starts unbuttoning her blouse . . . that’s as long as a dress. Wait. Is this a dress? She gets to the point where she’s unbuttoned down to her navel and allows the dress to drop to the floor. She’s solely wearing a pair of black lace underwear. She didn’t wear any bra underneath, and right now she’s allowing her breasts to be on display for anyone who walks down her hallway. Fuck, I didn’t realize she had any ink. She has two sleeves filled with various artwork marking her skin.

  “Cover yourself up, Lace.” I hiss at her.

  “I mean it’s pretty simple. You can cover me up, but you have to come inside.”

  Fuck! She’s right. I’m not a gentleman. I just hope she won’t regret this in the morning. I slam my lips back down onto hers and hold her as close to my body as I can while I walk her inside her apartment and slam the door shut behind us.

  It’s been too fucking long since we’ve been together like this. I fucking curse myself every single day for keeping myself away from her. She was the one slice of happiness I had, the thing I never should’ve given up in the first place but thought was the best decision at the time. I’ve never told Lacey how I ever felt about her, but I really hope she knows the feelings she had for me were never one sided.

  I skim my hand over her bare ass, feeling how the years have only made her more robust and plumper. My cock is already growing harder under my pants as she digs her nails into my flesh. Every ounce of the need she has for me is showing right now. “Jordan, please don’t fight this. I need you.
I’ve needed you for too fucking long.” Lace rasps out while she takes a breath, breaking our kiss. She looks up to me with those hazel eyes of hers and I lose all control.

  There is no longer any sense of discipline within me. All I feel is desire, need and longing. She grabs my hand and puts it between her thighs, dipping me right in the wetness that’s been pooling for god knows how long. “Why have you been avoiding me?” I ask, taking advantage of her drunken state. It’ll pretty much act as a truth serum.

  “Because I’ve been afraid of what would happen if I saw you, how I’d fold back into everything and all my feelings would come rushing back.”

  “Do you regret seeing me the other night?” I ask.

  “No. I’ve wanted to see you for such a long time.” Lacey bites her lips and peers up to me through those thick lashes of hers. “I knew you’d end up going and I think if I truly wanted to avoid being around you, I wouldn’t have gone in the first place. I put so much effort in how I’d look, making sure I was drop dead gorgeous. I wanted you to regret everything, to crave me more than any drug.”

  I brush her hair back behind her ear and look into her eyes, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You always have been, Lace. Fuck, you always will be. As far as the craving you thing goes, I’ve never stopped. I’ve tried to throw other women in my bed to bury the memory we forged together, but it was useless. No one could ever replace you. Not then and certainly not now. You’re always the one I’ve wanted. I was just too fucking scared to admit that. Terrified you’d get hurt in some way. But I won’t act a fool that way ever again. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you’re safe, because fuck if I’m going to lose you again.”

  “Shut up and show me how much you’ve missed me, Jordan.” Lacey breathes out, encouraging me.

  Fuck if she doesn’t know every single button to press. I throw my suit jacket off onto the floor, unbutton my dress shirt with her help, kick off my shoes, and slide out of my trousers and boxers.

  Hooking my hands under her panties, I swiftly remove them and for the life of me I can’t hold back anymore. She’s wet enough, so I bring the head of my cock to her lips and shove myself inside her, lifting her legs up under my arms to give me the best angle to penetrate her. I didn’t even ask if she was on the pill because I don’t fucking care. I give no shits. She’s been mine since I popped that cherry of hers.

  I walk her over to the couch and ram myself inside her over and over again until she’s moaning my name, cursing a plethora of words and my cock feels like it’s entering a damn slip and slide. Her walls tighten around me and then stop, making me feel like she’s teasing me, and from the smirk on her face she is. She’s fucking doing Kegels while I’m inside her. Damn, what a talented woman.

  Her pussy tightens around me and I place my mouth over her tit and bite her nipple as I release my load inside her. The primal fucker in me only wants to keep fucking her like some whore, implanting my seed into her cunt until it’s spilling out, but I know better. I know I need to stop. What she needs more than anything is for me to be here with her. My companionship, my fucking presence.

  God. I don’t even know how to process my thoughts at knowing we’re reuniting in such a physical way. She tightens up around my cock after I’ve already released and I keep thrusting myself into her, causing her to cum as well.

  I pull myself from her, place my body underneath her and hold her in my arms as she rests comfortably on my chest. This is the feeling I’ve been missing all these years. This sense of contentment. This longing that couldn’t be replaced by anyone else.

  Only Lacey could ever fill this void. For she’s the one that started it in the first place.

  Lacey might not realize it, but I loved her since the first day I was stuck with her that summer. I hated it when I didn’t know she was there at first, but she started to grow on me, slowly breaking down every single wall I had until she chipped away at the coal keeping my heart safe from being tampered with.

  Lacey has been the only woman to make me feel a certain way. The only woman I can fully say I’ve loved. While I’ve cared for others, they’ve never touched me in the same way Lace has. But of course, they’ve all fallen over me at hearing my name. Lace never gave a shit about any of that.

  The woman in my arms will continuously keep me on my toes. I’ll constantly be in a state of guessing, never really knowing what we’re doing.

  There’s only one other woman who can chip away at my heart like Lace does, and that’s my mother. Even though she abandoned us after going on a trip to Paris with her friends . . . she was here for me when I was sick as a kid. Most mothers would’ve left then I suppose, or maybe it’s just what I tell myself after all of these years.

  As I’m stuck in my own thoughts, I hear Lacey’s obnoxious snoring and realize she’s fallen asleep on top of me. Even though she’s a loud, drooling woman on my chest I wouldn’t trade this for anything else in the world.

  I haven’t shared a bed with her in a decade, and I can’t wait to slip underneath her covers and hold her close the same way I did all those years ago. I won’t fight this anymore. I’ve loved this woman for an eternity and I always will. Even with the danger that comes to my doorstep, I’ll put precautions and measures in place to ensure her safety.

  I won’t make the same mistakes I did before, and I sure as hell won’t lose her ever again.

  Chapter Nine

  If two people can’t seem to stay away from each other maybe they aren’t supposed to

  ~Unknown

  Lacey

  I wake up and shift my neck to the right, giving me instant relief as it cracks. Although the moment I open my eyes I see I’m not alone. Jordan is lying beside me on his back. His six pack abs are even more chiseled than they’ve ever been before, but instead of having that swimmer’s physique he did when he was younger, he’s changed a bit. In a way that’s entirely more scrumptious if you ask me. He’s gained about thirty pounds if I had to guess, bulking up a bit. It’s one of the only ways you can tell Jordan and Logan apart since they’re twins, that and the fact Jordan always has facial hair.

  His hand is behind his head as he seems to be resting peacefully. It’s interesting to see him like this, so calm, relaxed and unguarded. When he’s awake he isn’t any of those things.

  I inhale a deep breath as the reality of what I did last night hits me. Everything I tried so hard to distance myself from came crashing back in. I could blame it on the alcohol, but I’d be lying. I wanted this. I craved being in bed beside him more than anything else. Yet I can’t ignore the fact I’m afraid. I’m terrified he’ll break my heart in half yet again. The last time crippled me and I know I wouldn’t be able to survive it again.

  That isn’t the only thing that concerns me though. There’s always some element of danger that surrounds the Steele family. For goodness sake, Brooklyn was kidnapped when she was dating Logan a few years back. I know they’re multi-billionaires who have a variety of businesses and make cold hearted decisions to further their empire, but it doesn’t make sense to me. The amount of danger that seems to be around them that is. I don’t think other people in their stature have this many security guards watching over the family.

  “Morning, Bunny.” Jordan mutters, yawning at the same time.

  I smirk, not even complaining about him using my old pet name. “Morning,” I think about saying something else, but stop myself. I have so many questions I’ve never had the courage to ask, but maybe now isn’t the right time.

  Jordan turns over on his side, places his hand on my hip and stares into my eyes. “What’s on your mind?”

  I’d be shocked if we were on a first date or had just met, but knowing one another means he’s read every chapter in the book that makes me who I am. “I hate how you do that.”

  He cackles, “Yeah, best you get over it.”

  “I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be honest. Promise me you won’t give me some bullshit, alright?�
� I say, not wavering my eyes from his own. If we start this off again with a lie, I’ll never be able to trust him.

  “I promise.”

  “Why is there so much danger that surrounds the Steele family? I don’t understand it. I can tell there’s something you’re not telling me, and I’ve felt this way for such a long time.”

  “I knew this day would come and I’d always planned about lying to you when it came to the bitter truth about my family. But I can’t do that. In fact, I won’t. And I need you to know that I’m not going to lose you again, Lace. Even if you fight me every step of the way I’m going to make sure at the end of every day you’re in my bed, by my side in every aspect. More importantly, I need you to fully understand I’m going to protect you.”

  The last bit of what he said causes my heartbeat to quicken a bit. I take a gulp, “What’s that supposed to mean? You’re going to protect me? So, there is dangerous stuff that surrounds your family?”

  Jordan nods, “We have a successful enterprise and invest in a lot of legitimate businesses, but that isn’t the only business we have. Our father started another type of business back in the 1970s.”

  I don’t even try to mull around in my mind, thinking of what it could be. “Please continue.”

  “We’re gunrunners, Lacey. We transport guns for various mafias, motorcycle clubs and anyone else who needs them. We’ve also moved into selling them as well as of recent. Allow me to apologize for holding this back for so long, but it’s something I didn’t feel you needed to know until recently, especially if we’re rekindling our romance.”