Dealing in Dreams

by Lilliam Rivera

  “Everyone is afraid of the Ashé Ryders even if they’ve never met one before,” I say. “A charm won’t entice me to leave everything and everyone I love for Cemi Territory.”

  I feel the need to defend the toilers. They are not as weak as she’s implying. I’ve walked close to the borders many times. I can hear the wild cries and moans coming from Cemi Territory. Fires burning bright. There is only discord. Even Déesse has spoken on the true horrors that await those who choose Cemi Territory over Mega. Unbridled violence. Who wants that?

  “How old were you when we took you in to train?” Déesse asks.

  Before I can answer, the assistant pipes in. “She was seven years old. Father and sister are missing,” the assistant says. “Mother is dead.”

  I want to throttle the assistant. No one speaks about my family, and here she is spilling my personal history. My blood family doesn’t exist. They are only whispers. I don’t even have a solid recollection of my father. Not a vision, not even a feeling. As for my sister, she comes to me only in one flimsy dream.

  “Where is your family?” Déesse asks. “Where did they go?”

  “They are dead,” I say. “The LMC is my only family.”

  “What happened to your sister?”

  “The LMC are my sisters,” I say. “I only have the LMC and Mega City.”

  Memory is a tricky seducer. It dances with you, flirts with you. Ultimately you are alone. These dreams of my sister are a cruel trick meant to sway me away from my goal.

  “I don’t know what the Ashé Ryders are up to. How many are there? What are their plans for Mega City? These trinkets are an indication that innocent toilers are being used by them,” she says. “What do you think we should do?”

  Déesse is asking me for my opinion. Strategy, like a soldier in her army. I am this close to fulfilling my true role. I take my time in responding.

  “We need to venture into Cemi Territory and find what the Ashé Ryders are up to,” I say.

  Déesse’s smile returns. “I need an aggressive crew to do this. This is no ordinary mission. A crew must infiltrate the Ashé Ryders and report back to me,” she says. “We need to know what they are trying to do.”

  “Mami—I mean, Déesse—can I go? Please, I’m not feeling well.” Sule stands from her chair, forgetting she’s elevated, and falls to the ground.

  Déesse ignores her daughter’s request. Sule is an idiot for asking. I detest her. Déesse sits here giving me a real talk and Sule can’t even shut up for a second. I can see it now. Sule is an addict. The heavy makeup tries to conceal the gray skin. How long has she been in this state? Perhaps this is the reason why Déesse has such sympathy for addicts when her own daughter is unable to get off the sueño cycle.

  “Mami?” Sule asks.

  The assistant casually hands Sule a sueño tab. Sule’s eyes meet mine. There is a rage in them. She wants to check out right in front of her mother. No wonder she is such a failure as a daughter. What does it mean to be unable to fight or lead? Déesse is all-powerful, flawless and true. Sule, on the other hand, cowers behind drugs.

  Sule takes the sueño tab. She even grabs my glass of water. After swallowing it, she goes back to her seat, which is now grounded. Her focus returns to her shoes. It won’t be long before she rides off on her sueño trip. To see her in this state makes me feel sorry for Déesse and Santo. What a burden she must be to her family.

  “You can count on the LMCs to take care of business,” I say. No pause. No half stepping. “We’ll travel to Cemi Territory and find the Ashé Ryders. We will take care of it.”

  Déesse brings her chair down. “This won’t be an easy task. The skills you’ve learned patrolling Mega City won’t come into play in Cemi Territory. It’s a whole other beast. You understand, don’t you?” Déesse gently lays her hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure you are ready?”

  “Yes, Déesse,” I say. “We’ll enter Cemi Territory for our people. We will look for the Ashé Ryders and gather as much intel as possible. The LMCs are the strongest crew in Mega City. We are meant to lead the way.”

  “Find the Ashé Ryders. Gain their trust. Let them think the LMCs are abandoning Mega City. I know you can fake a fight. I saw it with my own eyes,” she says. “I have faith in the LMC and in you, Chief Rocka. You are our hope. Return victorious and you and your whole crew will be welcomed into the Towers.”

  Déesse’s word is bond. Now my word is bond. The LMCs must carry this mission. We must protect the city no matter what.

  “We won’t fail you,” I say.

  Those freckles. She practically glows. Soon I will be near her. The Towers are within reach. My heart soars. It’s really happening.

  “The sooner you leave, the quicker we can welcome you back,” she says. “What do you think? Seven days to go there and come back—that should be more than enough time.”

  Then she hands me back the necklace. “You’ll need this.”

  Déesse programs the chairs to exit first. Déesse follows and then the assistant. Sule lingers behind. It’s funny how the assistant and Déesse both pay Sule no mind. How far is she into her dream state? It doesn’t seem too far. Sule looks sad.

  “Such important decisions shouldn’t be made in haste,” she says.

  What in Mega is she talking about? It must be the sueños. I have the strongest urge to hurt her. She better not ruin my chances with her cryptic statements.

  “Ashé Ryders,” she says with a chuckle. For a few seconds Sule closes her eyes, relishing the trip she must be embarking on.

  The assistant reenters the room. “Come, Sule. She’s waiting.” The assistant places her hand on Sule’s arm to guide her to the door.

  “Take care of yourself,” Sule says.

  A princess with everything at her fingertips squanders away her opportunities in fabricated hallucinations. No wonder Santo never speaks about Sule. I will never be a burden to anyone. The LMCs can face whatever comes our way. We do so because we have no choice. Sule can hide behind her mother.

  I won’t lie. I’m scared. I’ve never crossed the border. Here I am about to head to the worst place ever. Cemi Territory swallowed my sister. Probably took my father, too. I’ve never understood what would make a person enter Cemi voluntarily. There are no boydegas. No papis. No fun. Just hardship. Who would choose that? Deep down I believe my sister and father are dead. There’s no grief for that loss. It happened so long ago. Blood family doesn’t necessarily equate a connection. I saw this happen in the training camp. The closer you are to your family, the harder it is to become a fighter. When I entered the camp, I came completely alone. My focus was razor sharp. Other recruits wanted to run back to their parents. Babies. Searching for comfort when there was no room for softness.

  I would never have imagined a simple throwdown with a crew would lead me on this insane mission. Am I capable of lying on such a scale? To pretend to be an Ashé Ryder ally? There’s no question. I must.

  First I need to find the ANT.

  CHAPTER 8

  QUEENS OF THE UNDERGROUND

  How to begin? Hit the station first, and then tell my crew.

  When my crew entered the healing room, they knew right away not to ask questions. It wasn’t the time nor the place to hatch out what Déesse just proposed. Instead, they helped me gather my things in silence. We quickly left the room. Now we are on the streets, and I’m trying desperately to wrap my head around what the necessary action should be.

  Find the ANT. Travel to Cemi. Locate the Ashé Ryders and pretend to join them. My life revolves around evading dangerous scenarios. The future seems so hazy when it should be crystal clear. I’ve done everything by the book. In the training camp, if they asked for twenty push-ups, I did thirty. When learning how to fight, I would pick the biggest girl even when I knew I would get beat down for being too small. I did what I had to do to stand out.

  After leaving the camp, I joined a couple of crews to gain experience, take notes. Soon enough I ventured out on m
y own. Throwdowns upon throwdowns. I risked my body until everyone in Mega knew who the LMCs were. I’ve managed to overcome each obstacle thrown my way.

  Now this.

  How much longer can my dream of living in the Towers be kept from me? This must be the last test. My final obstacle before I can rest.

  The streets are eerily quiet, which causes me to tighten my guard. We left the healing center right at the start of breaking night. We don’t have to travel far. I continue to feel on edge.

  A wall that once proclaimed our victories has a pink slash across our names. Deadly Venoms are claiming space and scratching us out. With one major loss, our rep is taking a hit. Only shows we need to do right by Déesse or we will never be back up. Without me having to say a word, Smiley covers up the names with new ink. THE LMC FOR LIFE.

  Nena bumps into me. She walks so close it’s as if she’s afraid to lose me. She should stay in Mega City. Oversee our home. Nena is so green when it comes to fighting. She needs more training. There is not enough time. Then again, we might need her. The more fists the better.

  Nena smiles at me. Those big, innocent eyes of hers. How will she react when I tell her we’re heading into Cemi? What will my soldiers say? Will they tell me I’m a fool? Will they say no to the plan? I wish I didn’t have to make these types of decisions.

  We reach a gate that blocks the entrance to the 183rd station. Truck and Shi pry open the gate to create a gap large enough for us to squirm our bodies through. Inside, it is completely dark. We stand still until we adjust to the darkness. Soon we are able to make out the stairs leading down to the tunnel. Nena uses her mini-blowtorch to light the way. We listen to make sure there are no signs of toilers trying to move in. We’ve found one or two stragglers before and kicked them out. That’s how Nena came to us. Soon after Manos Dura was iced, Nena showed up asleep on the second step, curled up like a lost puppy. Truck threw her out. Nena came back the next night and the next. She was determined to be accepted into the LMC. Every night Truck sent her flying. On the sixth day, I let her in. Truck was angry with me when I made the decision. We were grieving over Manos. Nena appeared when I needed to go beyond the hate that wanted to consume me. When I focused on Nena, the feeling of hopelessness dissipated.

  More steps lead further down. The perfumed smell that recently emanated from Déesse in the healing room is now replaced with rust and rotting rodents. We eventually reach a cement wall. For most stragglers, the adventure to try to set up house in our station ends at this point. Once they make it here, the station appears to have no further access.

  Smiley hoists Nena up. Nena lifts an unsuspected grate hidden behind a pile of broken cement. She pushes her body through the small grate and disappears. The sound of dripping water can be heard in the distance. It was Shi who located this station for us. She managed to dig deep in the Codigos archives and find this unassuming place overlooked when walking aboveground. We didn’t create this tunnel. I’m pretty sure it was a random old-schooler who did it. With Shi’s help we were able to locate the right openings, create new traps, and make it our home.

  “She’s taking too long.” Truck shakes her head. “Manos used to make it to the other side in less than five minutes. She’s too slow.”

  A couple more minutes pass before Nena dislodges a side entrance visible only to the LMC. To enter we must go down on our knees and crawl. It’s a complicated procedure to get to the place we currently call home. It’s worth it. When the LMC first started, we lived in crowded stations with hundreds of other families. There was no privacy. You had to hold tight to your belongings because people would easily steal them.

  The LMC moved from there to other stations. Crews tried to bum-rush. Mini battles played out. It took a few tries before we located this one. It was empty. Within a couple of days we cleaned house and moved in.

  “Fix that.” Truck points to the broken glass spikes sticking out of the ground. Smiley kneels and replaces the spikes with new ones. Once we pass through a short hallway, we drop down to an open space. A few more feet left.

  For the past six months, the steel car bearing a faded letter “D” on the side of it has been ours. Along with the concrete and steel, there is actual growth down here. A slew of plants manage to grow inside. Shi says it has to do with these panels installed in the ceiling. She said they were once called heliostatic panels and they somehow deliver sunlight from above ground. The plants add a nice bit of green even though we barely tend to them. Smiley thinks they are just glorified weeds. Funny how even in the darkest of places, life manages to break through.

  The LMC pile into the rusty car. They light candles and place their offerings on the altar. Mementos from before they became an LMC are gathered in a corner. Smiley puts a sueño tab by the image of her mother. Truck drops a blue stone by a crude sketch of her brothers. Shi leaves a piece of paper with a word on it that only she knows. Nena drops a food pellet in front of a ragged worn doll. I cut a piece of my head wrap and place it on a fabric once part of my mother’s dress.

  “Line up,” I say. My voice sounds hoarse. I’m still in pain from the throwdown, and I have a pulsating headache. Why does it feel as if weeks have passed me by? Manos. The ANT. The throwdown. And Déesse’s mission. So much. I must find the right words. I will use anger to give me courage.

  “Las Mal!” I shout.

  The girls respond, “Criadas!”

  I say it again and they yell back, louder each time. Their voices echo against the steel walls. Why can’t our voices create a ghost army of LMCs?

  I stare hard at each of them.

  “Most of you have been rolling with me for the past five years. Have you got trust for your chief?”

  They shout back, “Hell yeah, Chief Rocka.”

  I pace in front of them. Giving each of them the business. They are either with me, or I go on this search without them.

  “A threat is coming to Mega City, and it’s on us to track it down.” I pull out the Ashé necklace. “This holds the key.”

  Each hard face looks straight ahead except for Nena, who sneaks a look at the azabache she helped discover. Our eyes meet, and she quickly goes back to her stance.

  “An unknown ANT came to Mega City wearing this medallion. When we did a Codigo search, he turned up with no history. No family. No name. No ties to a specific crew, except for one we swore no longer existed. The medallion is called an azabache,” I say. “This necklace belongs to the Ashé Ryders.

  “Déesse believes the Ashé Ryders are coming through. We don’t know the plan. We don’t even know how many are in Cemi Territory. It’s on the LMC to uncover what the Ashé Ryders are up to. If they pose any type of threat to Mega City, our people need to know.”

  “The ANT is now on our radar. Find him first. Then we head into Cemi Territory to infiltrate the Ashé Ryders. We gather as much intel as we can and return to Mega within seven days. When we’re done, we’re good to go to the Towers. Déesse gave me her word.”

  I let my talk sink in. No one blinks.

  “Open floor,” I say. “Speak your mind.”

  Smiley is the first to step forward. This doesn’t surprise me. She’s the talker of the bunch, and she will quickly be forthright.

  “Why go to Cemi Territory?” she asks. “Only degenerates live there. The Ashé Ryders, if they even exist, are probably a bunch of wannabes. What does it matter? Our borders are guarded by Déesse’s army, and it can’t be beat.”

  Smiley turns to Shi to see if she will back her up or not. Shi won’t lie. She doesn’t make her decisions by gut. She only goes by intel.

  “I’ve been following the rumblings, and they’ve recently shifted,” Shi says. “There’s a definite uneasiness on the streets. The stories have been a steady flow since a little before our throwdown. People are starting to fear that the Ashé Ryders are coming to invade the city.”

  “The Ashés aren’t real,” says Nena. “Right, Chief Rocka?”

  Her voice quivers a bit. I can’t ha
ve this weakness, not when I need every ounce of courage.

  “If they aren’t real, then there’s no problem,” I say. “We need to find out for ourselves. That means locating them. It also means if they are real, we have to pretend we’re down with their cause. Gather information. Then bounce without getting caught.”

  Truck keeps quiet. She will listen to everyone first. Her mind is racing. So is mine. I’m a tightwire about to snap. To go through these variables with my crew is making me doubt my decision.

  “We are going in there blind,” Smiley says. Her grill glows against the candles. “We don’t know how many are true Ashés and how many are just renegades talking a big game.”

  “Why doesn’t Déesse send the Deadly Venoms instead?” Shi asks. “Why us?”

  I give it to them straight. What has been rolling in my head since I spoke to Déesse.

  “We’re the baddest. You don’t send a weak-ass troop to take care of business,” I say. “You send the best, and that’s us. The LMC. There’s no doubt in my mind this is the reason why.”

  Shi looks at Smiley. They contemplate what I’ve said.

  “Or, maybe, we are the ones who lost the bet.” Smiley says. I knew she would voice the concern rattling everyone.

  “How are we going to pretend to be down with the Ashés?” Smiley shakes her head. “That’s traitor nonsense.”

  “It’s not as if you don’t spend your soldiering days lying to get what you want,” I say. “It’s your specialty.”

  “What if we don’t go?” Shi asks.

  “You can stay in Mega City,” I say. “It also means you are no longer an LMC.”

  “For real?” Nena says, barely above a whisper.

  I walk up to her. Her scared face so close to mine. “For real.”

  “Right,” Smiley says. “It’s this hell or Cemi hell. What do you say, Truck?”

  We look at Truck. Her mind churns the possibilities in her head. She stays erect and tall in her buffalo stance. It’s hard for me to read her. She’s mulling everyone’s words. Weighing the options. What makes sense for our crew? I value Truck’s opinion the most. If she doesn’t agree to go with me, I’m not sure what I will do.