Joy in the Journey

by Diane Greenwood Muir

  "He didn't say anything to me," she replied.

  "We're waiting to hear from Lori up at Sutter's Farm. If she'll participate, it will be a big draw."

  Lorianne Sutter owned a large organic farm on the northeast side of Bellingwood. Her husband was in prison after he murdered two of their seasonal workers a couple of years ago. Her daughter, Ariel, was the same age as Elijah, but didn't have much to do with him. Lorianne wasn't a pleasant woman, but even as she dealt with the fallout from her husband's activities, she managed to keep the farm going. Polly would never be friends with her but respected how hard she worked. That farm was going to be successful and Lori was willing to put in the hours to make it happen.

  "You can't do it without her?" Polly asked.

  "We could, but why not bring in the big guns? With Lori on board, we'd have a name that would allow us to reach out to other growers and vendors."

  "You guys couldn’t just start with a small event, could you."

  "Eliseo!"

  They both turned to see Noah standing in the doorway of the barn.

  "My boss is calling for me," Eliseo said. "Don't want to disappoint him."

  "What time do you need him to be finished this morning?"

  Eliseo shook his head. "I'll keep him all day if you like. We have plenty to do in the barn and up at the main building. Noah would be helpful. We'll feed him. Maybe I'll take him to the coffee shop for lunch."

  "Then let us know when he's ready to come home." Polly had tried to offer Eliseo money to feed Noah in the past and had been rebuffed. Loudly and insistently. She wasn't going to make that mistake again. The little boy had fun working here and if Eliseo believed that Noah could be helpful, this was the right place for him today.

  "Why don't I bring him home. I'll deliver the tables and chairs for tomorrow's reception at the same time. Will Hayden be there to help unload?"

  "Absolutely. But if you run out of time, Henry and the boys can pick them up tomorrow."

  "We'll see what happens."

  "Thank you for making this a good place for Noah," Polly said. "I know what you did for Jason and it's wonderful that you're doing the same thing for one of my boys."

  "My only problem is that they leave me."

  "Where's Jason this morning?"

  "He'll be in later. Elva needed help, so he started the day at the stables."

  She nodded. "I'll get out of your hair. Thank you."

  Now she needed to get home and make sure that her oldest daughter was up and moving. Last night, Rebecca had asked if they could go up early enough so she could get something to drink at the coffee shop before starting work. Polly could buy her a drink. She knew that the idea of having a fancy drink cup at your workplace was special. Last night Rebecca and Cilla had spent a long time in her room going through her wardrobe as they looked for clothing that would be both professional and hip. Because being hip in a gallery was very important.

  Sometimes it was hard for Polly to see anything but the scared little girl who had watched an ambulance carry her mother away from their little house. But then she ran right into the nearly sixteen-year-old confident young woman whose future was bright and exciting. So many things had changed.

  The dogs were outside again when Polly drove into the driveway. They waited and then rushed forward to greet her. "What are you two doing outside? Did Cat grow tired of putting up with you while she got the kids moving?"

  Han yapped and Obiwan wagged his tail as they headed up the steps.

  Elijah and Caleb were seated at the kitchen island, plates full of pancakes in front of them.

  "You're home," Elijah cried. He put his foot on the lower rung to jump to the floor and Polly stopped him.

  "Sit still. You're eating," she said. "I'll come over and say good morning to you. Where's JaRon?"

  "He's helping with Cassidy."

  "Do what?" Polly had looked in on Cassidy before she left with Noah, and the little girl was awake and playing with her dolls. She knew where Polly was going and that she'd be right back.

  Caleb looked away. "One of her dolls was in the toilet. She said she needed a bath."

  "I see," Polly said, gulping back laughter. "And how bad was the mess?"

  Elijah's eyes grew huge as he spread out his arms. "It was sooooo big. There was water everywhere. Hayden said that me and Caleb were making it worse so he sent us downstairs."

  "I wasn't gone that long."

  "Cassidy cried. She got in trouble."

  "You two know that you aren't supposed to put things in the toilet."

  "Except our poop," Elijah said. He looked at Caleb sheepishly. Last year, during the period when the boys weren't getting along, there had been some fights in the bathroom with toilet paper and other sundry items getting stuffed into the toilet while blame was passed from boy to boy. It hadn't been pretty. Even Henry had gotten a little loud with that one.

  "That's right," Polly agreed. "Do I dare go upstairs?"

  "I wouldn't if I were you," Caleb said with great solemnity. "Cat was mad. That's why JaRon stayed. He took Cassidy back in her room so she could get cleaned up, too."

  "Hmmm. Maybe I'll just stay down here and make more pancakes. Do the two of you want any more? We're going to be busy cleaning up the foyer today. You'll need your energy."

  "I can't believe you're going to make us work on our vacation," Elijah complained, though he maintained a smile on his face. Good thing. Polly didn't want to have to assign more cleaning tasks to the boy.

  "I'm just that mean," Polly said. "But you made the mess, so no complaining. Now, more pancakes means more energy. Yes or no?"

  Caleb shook his head. "I'm full."

  "I could eat another one," Elijah said.

  Rebecca came into the kitchen carrying a basket filled with what looked like sopping wet towels. "It's a zoo up there today. Good thing I wanted to get up early."

  "How are they doing?"

  "I think Hayden nearly has everything out of the toilet."

  "Wait. There were more things in there than a dolly getting a bath?"

  Rebecca laughed out loud. "Lots more things. Doll clothes and one of her doll beds. She tried to wash a teddy bear and one of those fabric books that you made for her. Some of it is just gone, never to see the light of day again."

  Polly dropped her mouth open. "I was only gone for a short time. That girl was motivated."

  "Yeah and she did it in Heath's and my bathroom, too. Glad I took a shower last night."

  "How mad is Cat?"

  "I think she's finally able to laugh about it. Hayden isn't quite there yet. He keeps telling her that they are training for their own marathon and that's the only thing getting him through some of this." Rebecca laughed again. "I'm hiring a nanny when I start having kids." She pressed Elijah's back with her elbow. "You wanna come live at my house and be my nanny and raise my children?"

  "Will they be like me?" he asked.

  She was still laughing when she headed for the porch.

  "Do you want pancakes, Rebecca?" Polly called out.

  "Just two, please."

  Polly flipped a pancake onto Elijah's plate and glanced at Caleb. "Are you sure?"

  He rubbed his belly. "I'm really full."

  "Good for you."

  At the sound of feet coming down the back steps, she turned to wait. When Cassidy saw Polly, she ran toward her and tears erupted.

  "I'm right here, Cassidy," Polly said, bending down to take the little girl into a hug. "I hear you've had a rough morning."

  "No go," Cassidy said.

  "No go? What do you mean by that?"

  "No go," she wailed. "No go. No go. No go."

  Polly looked at JaRon. "What is she talking about?"

  "I dunno." He avoided her eyes as he slunk around the island to stand beside his brother.

  "JaRon, come here," Polly commanded in a tone that was sharper than she intended, but she had a bad feeling about this.

  "I didn't do nothing," he said, comi
ng around behind her. "She was bad. She made Hayden and Cat really mad."

  "What is she trying to tell me?"

  "I dunno." He still refused to look at Polly.

  Polly reached over, lifted his chin and held it until he looked up. "Are you being honest with me?"

  He glanced away.

  "JaRon, honey, did you say something to Cassidy to scare her into being good?"

  "Cat and Hayden were really mad," he said. "I never seen them so mad. There was water everywhere and she did it." He pointed at Cassidy, who, in turn, wailed louder.

  "I thought you were supposed to be helping her. That's what your brothers told me you were doing upstairs."

  "I didn't do nothing bad. She did. She's gonna get us all in trouble. Hayden …" He stopped.

  "What did Hayden do?"

  "He asked if I helped her."

  "Did you?"

  This time, JaRon did look up at her in shock. "No! I wasn't getting in trouble for that again."

  "Did you know that Cassidy was doing something wrong and not stop her?"

  He glanced away again.

  "Rebecca," Polly said. "Would you take over making the pancakes? JaRon, Cassidy and I are going to the office."

  At those words, JaRon started crying, too. Polly took his hand and though he didn't make her drag him, he walked as slowly as possible.

  She closed the door to the office and pointed to the two chairs in front of the desk. JaRon climbed up into one and Polly lifted Cassidy into the other.

  "I want the truth, JaRon. Right now. Did you know that Cassidy was doing something wrong and not try to stop her?"

  He shrugged.

  "Words, JaRon."

  "She wanted to do it. It's not my fault."

  "And when everything fell apart, what did you do then?"

  "Took her into her room."

  "Why?"

  "She was all wet."

  "And why else?"

  "To tell her that she was in trouble." He spoke so softly Polly could barely hear him.

  "You didn't think she already knew that when Hayden and Cat were upset?"

  That got her another shrug.

  "So you watched her, then you made sure she knew that she was in trouble. And then what did you say?"

  "That you would be mad at her."

  "Did you ever tell her that I would make her go away because I was mad at her?"

  "Not like that."

  "What did you say?"

  "That you …" He started crying again. "That you didn't like bad little kids."

  "Why, JaRon? We've been through so much here. Why would you say something like that?"

  "Because you love her the best. You take her everywhere. She shouldn't have come here."

  Polly sank to her knees between the two children. Things could go along normally with these kids for months and she would start to relax, but then the smallest thing would trigger their fears of abandonment again. This was the first real break since Christmas where JaRon had seen how much time Polly spent with Cassidy during the day.

  "Cassidy, I want you to pay attention to me," Polly said. "I love you. If I get mad at you, that doesn't mean I don't love you. Hear me say those words. I love you. Can you say them back to me?"

  Cassidy shook her head.

  "I love you. I will always love you. You can not make me angry enough to send you away. Ever. JaRon." Polly waited until he looked at her. "How many times have I told you that same thing?"

  "I dunno."

  "It was one of the first things I made sure to tell you and Caleb, wasn't it? I love you and there is nothing you can do that will change that. You are little kids. You are going to mess up. You are going to make me angry because you don't listen, because you do bad things, because you are mean to each other, because you are mean to other people. There are any number of ways you'll make me angry. But that doesn't matter at all when it comes to how much Henry and I love you. We won't stop loving you. I promise." She brushed tears off Cassidy's cheeks. "You aren't going anywhere without me or someone in this family who loves you. You don't have to leave us. Do you know that?"

  Cassidy sat forward and put her arms around Polly's neck.

  "Now, Cassidy, do you understand that putting things in the toilet is wrong? It just makes a mess. If you want to give things a bath, you need to find someone to help you. We can figure out a better way. Why don't you go on back to the kitchen. Rebecca is making pancakes. I'm going to take a few more minutes with JaRon. We'll be there soon."

  Cassidy sent JaRon a look of fury.

  "Whoa," Polly said. "I guess I forgot something here. JaRon, I want you to tell your sister that you're sorry you let her get into trouble and that you tried to scare her."

  "Sorry," he muttered.

  "Nope. Look her in the face and tell her that you are sorry."

  He heaved a big sigh, then looked at Cassidy. "I'm sorry."

  "Neither of you will like this, but now you have to hug her."

  "Really?" JaRon asked.

  "You know me," Polly said. "We've been down this road before. Hop on over here and give her a hug. And Cassidy, you be nice and hug him back. He's your brother and you will treat each other with respect."

  After they'd finally gotten through that, Polly put Cassidy on the floor and sent her off to the kitchen. She sat down beside JaRon and put an arm around his shoulders. "You kinda liked being the youngest in the family, didn't you."

  He nodded.

  "And I'll bet you miss crawling up on my lap and hugging me when things feel scary."

  Tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry."

  She reached over and lifted him into her lap, then held him against her as he cried. "It's so hard learning how to be a good brother. When you're the littlest, you get away with things. It's everyone else's responsibility to take care of you. It doesn't feel the same having a little sister in the house, does it?"

  He shook his head against her shoulder.

  "You know, JaRon, one of the things I love the most about this family is that there are so many of you. I didn't grow up with any brothers or sisters. There wasn't anyone around to take care of me or to get me into trouble. I didn't have someone that I could talk to at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. I didn't have anybody to play outside with me or help me dream up stories or look outside at the stars at night. Sometimes I walk past your bedroom and I hear you in there laughing with Caleb while the two of you are trying to go to sleep. It's the best sound in the world. We have something very special in this family and I'm glad that you are part of it."

  "Cassidy too?"

  "You bet. I'm glad she's here. You two aren't always going to get along, but someday, you're going to be thankful that she's your sister."

  He looked up at her with a grimace.

  "Okay, it might not be today. But someday. I promise. Now, let's go get some pancakes."

  JaRon jumped off her lap and headed for the door.

  "And honey?"

  He stopped.

  "You do understand that there will be punishment for your actions this morning, right?"

  His little body slumped in on itself. "I have to clean a bathroom?"

  Polly caught up to him. "I think that you and I are going to clean Cat and Hayden's bathroom for them. We're going to make it sparkle."

  She and JaRon got to the kitchen and found Cassidy sitting on Hayden's lap.

  He turned to JaRon and put out a hand. "I need to apologize for freaking out upstairs. I shouldn't have yelled."

  "I didn't stop her," JaRon said. "Sorry."

  Everyone in the room turned to Cat and she laughed. "It's totally my turn for sorries, isn't it. I was really mad and I shouldn't have let it get to me like that. It's just water and that can always be cleaned up. Hayden and I aren't very good at being parents yet, but we'll keep trying and sometimes I will have to apologize when I lose my head. I'm sorry to all of you that you had to hear me be so angry."

  The doorbell on the side door rang and dogs
barked as everyone jumped.

  "Who's here?" Polly asked.

  Elijah had jumped down from his seat and was already on the porch. "It's Andrew!" he shouted.

  The other two boys rushed to the porch and Polly heard Andrew speaking to them as he came in to the kitchen. "Am I in time for breakfast?" he asked, holding up a bag from Sweet Beans.

  "We have pancakes," Rebecca said. "What did you bring?"

  He gave Polly a wry grin. "It looks like I'm late. But really I'm early. Jason came through town and stopped to get some breakfast sandwiches since Noah is at the barn with Eliseo. Mom made a bunch up for me to bring over here. Is it okay that I'm here now?"

  "It's perfect," Polly said. "Since we’ll be working so hard today, I think having breakfast sandwiches on the menu is a great idea. It doesn't matter if you eat one now or have one later when you get hungry." She tapped Cat's shoulder. "JaRon and I are going to be cleaning your bathroom for you today."

  "Why?" Cat asked.

  "Because I was bad," JaRon said.

  Elijah giggled.

  "What?" JaRon demanded.

  "You got in trouble; you got in trouble," he sang out.

  "Check that," Polly said. "JaRon and Elijah will be cleaning your bathroom. They're going to make it sparkle."

  "What?" Elijah demanded. "I didn't do anything."

  Andrew poked at him. "Even I knew you were going to be in trouble with that one." He smiled at Rebecca. "Are you ready for another day at the gallery?"

  "I can't wait," she said. "Mr. Greene is so good to work for. Thank you for telling me about the job.” Rebecca allowed a shiver to shake down her body. “I keep saying that because I can’t believe it has happened. Polly, can I show Andrew what I was working on last night?"

  "Why don't you go get it and bring it down to the office or the library," Polly said.

  Rebecca nodded and took off.

  "We still have pancake batter," Cat said. "Andrew, do you want any?"

  He shook his head. "I ate at Mom's place. Thanks, though. Where am I starting today?"