The Debutante's Secret: Western Historical Romance (The Debutantes of Durango Book 2)

by Peggy McKenzie

  “I'm sure your mother loved you very much and she would be here if she could. Does it make you sad to think about her?”

  Grace sat quietly for a few heartbeats before she looked up at Roxanne and said, “It used to make me sad, but I think I’m forgetting her. I can't remember what she looks like. Is that bad, Miss Roxanne? Am I a bad girl because I don't remember what she looks like?” Grace's voice cracked with emotion and Roxanne could see the tears pooling in her innocent blue eyes.

  She pulled Grace to her and hugged her tight before letting her go and catching her gaze. “No, sweetheart. It doesn't make you bad at all. You are a wonderful little girl. It's not your fault your momma isn't here.”

  Grace looked up into Roxanne’s eyes. “That's what my Papa said too.”

  “Well, your papa is absolutely right. Now, why don't you help me put my things away, and then you can show me the horses.”

  “And the kittens?”

  Grace's excitement was contagious. Roxanne helped her down off the bed. “Yes, most definitely the kittens.”

  An hour later, Roxanne had managed to put away her things, despite the assistance of her little helper. “Now, how about you show me the horses.”

  “Papa said I couldn't go to the barn unless he was with me,“ Grace informed Roxanne.

  “I think maybe it would be alright if you went to the barn with me. If you’re worried about it, then we can go ask your papa.”

  “Okay, let's go ask him.” Grace pulled on Roxanne's hand and led her through the house and out into the bright sunshine. Roxanne couldn't help but laugh at her new charge's excitement. Grace was so resilient after what she must have gone through these last few months. Roxanne had to admit she admired the little girl’s ability to face adversity.

  Roxanne heard Alex's voice shouting at someone behind the barn. “I hear your papa. Let's go see what he's doing, shall we?”

  Roxanne held Grace's hand as they walked through the open door and into the cool dark barn. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust when she heard Alex shout, “Look out! Get out of the way!”

  She had no idea why he was shouting at her, but the desperation in his voice told her she needed to move—and quick. She grabbed Grace’s hand and fell into an open stall just as a horse thundered past them and out the barn door she and Grace had just walked through.

  Alex arrived seconds later and rushed to help her and Grace to their feet. “You nearly scared the life out of me. Are you two alright?” he asked her, lifting Grace up into his arms. Her little arms hugging him around the neck as she buried her face in his shirt. He held her tight.

  Roxanne could tell by his expression he was scared to death and she hurried to assure him they were perfectly fine. “Yes, yes. We are alright. Just a bit frightened, that's all.” Roxanne began wiping the dust off her clothes.

  She glanced up when she heard Alex breathe a sigh of relief and watched as he murmured soothing words to Grace, telling her she was safe and what a brave girl she was. After a few minutes, he gave Grace a peck on the cheek and set her back down on the ground. Taking over the care of Grace, Roxi began brushing the dust from her clothes too.

  “I'm very relieved everyone is okay. And I appreciate you getting my daughter out of harm’s way, but do you mind me asking you a question?”

  “Of course not.” Roxanne paused her attempts to set Grace’s clothes to rights and looked at Alex. His hand trembled as he ran his fingers through his hair, then he looked her straight in the eyes and scowled.

  “What the hell are you doing in my barn?”

  Alex knew from the shock on Roxanne's face, she hadn't been expecting that question. His heart had nearly stopped when he saw her and Grace standing in the doorway directly in front of the runaway colt.

  The one-year-old filly Alex was working to halter break pulled back on the lead rope and broke it. She had nearly run Jeremy over when he stepped in front of her to try and stop her from getting out of the corral.

  Alex had given chase and had planned to close the barn door before the filly figured out that was the way to freedom. He wasn't as fast as his little filly and she disappeared through the barn door before he could stop her.

  Roxanne’s stunned look tempered his emotions. “Are you saying I—we are not allowed in the barn?”

  “No, I'm not saying that. Exactly. I'm just saying you should ask if it is okay... I mean if it's safe first. Besides, aren't you supposed to be getting settled and teaching Grace her lessons?” He knew he was coming off as a real ass. That wasn’t his intention, but he couldn’t seem to help himself at the moment.

  “Grace wanted to show me the horses and kittens and I didn't see any reason why a visit to the barn wouldn't be permissible.” He could tell his new hire wasn’t pleased by his impromptu scolding.

  Alex recovered a bit from his scare, but he wasn't ready to concede. After all, he was right. She was supposed to keep his daughter safe from the dangers of his work, not bring her into the very situation he had been worried about.

  “I think it would be smart to check with me before you put my daughter into future danger.”

  He watched Roxanne’s eyes round in shock, then quickly squint. Uh-oh.

  “You think it would be... smart?” Her confusion turned to anger and she glared at him over Grace’s head. “Mr. Harp.”

  He noticed they were no longer on a first name basis.

  “I’ll have you know, I am not a child. And I am highly offended you are questioning my intelligence. One would not expect a random visit to a barn to include the unexpected danger of a runaway horse. You are the one who placed us in danger by your inability to control your animals. Now, since it is obvious Grace and I are fine, don't you think you should be going after that horse?”

  He saw the flush of anger in her cheeks, the tilt of her chin, and the flash in her eyes and he began to reevaluate his opinion of this sweet little schoolteacher. There was a fire there—a spark of independence he hadn’t seen before. He had to admit there was something about her that made him want to get to know her better…but now was not the time for that sort of nonsense.

  He gave himself a mental shake. What had gotten into him? It wouldn’t do to get off on a bad foot the first day with Roxanne. After all, if she decided to go back to town, he would be right back where he started—a single dad with a ranch to run.

  “I’ll apologize for my less-than-tactful way of expressing my concern, Roxanne, but be that as it may, I would appreciate it if in the future, you would let me know ahead of time your plans to visit the barn. As you pointed out, I can’t always guarantee I will be able to control my animals. I hope you understand.”

  She stood next to Grace with one hand on his daughter’s shoulder and the other firmly fisted on her hip. It was clear she had not been expecting him to question her intelligence. He supposed he could have phrased his concerns a bit kinder. He’d have to work on that.

  “I certainly do.” She stiffened her back. “If you are done calling my intelligence into question, Grace and I will return to the house and start her lessons. We’ll be out of your way and you can go after that horse. It’s probably halfway to Durango by now.” She raised an eyebrow in question.

  He found the gesture appealing. And frustrating. Both equally unsettling. “I'll get Jeremy and we'll head out after the filly.”

  With a final reproachful look in his direction, she took Grace’s hand. “Now then, let’s go back to the house.”

  “But I want to see the kittens,” Grace objected.

  “Some other time, sweetheart. You heard your father say we have to ask permission first.”

  Roxanne stabbed him with a glare and led his daughter toward the house. He felt like a first class heel.

  Why had he been so angry with Roxanne? He had been terrified when he saw the two of them standing in the doorway knowing full well that colt wasn’t going to stop before she trampled them both under hoof. But that wasn’t Roxanne’s fault.

  He sto
od rooted in place and watched the gentle sway of Roxanne’s backside disappear out into the bright sunshine. She was a very beautiful woman and he was a red-blooded male. So what if he was attracted to her? That was understandable, he rationalized.

  But, now that his temper had cooled, he couldn’t deny Roxanne’s pull was more than physical beauty. He had known many beautiful women in his life, and never gave most of them a passing glance. Kate was beautiful…on the outside, but her heart was black as night.

  No, there was something about this woman that connected to his soul deep down inside where he lived. Deep down where he kept his hurts hidden and his self protected.

  He shook his head in denial. That was a dangerous notion and one he needed to stamp out right now. He didn’t need any more emotional upheavels and he damn sure didn’t need a distraction. His plate was full with trying to make this ranch a success. If the ranch failed, then he failed and that was something he could ill afford. He’d die before he went back to his father’s bank with his tail tucked between his legs.

  Roxanne was here to cook, clean, and keep his daughter safe. It was her job to teach Grace and it was his job to protect Roxanne’s reputation. After all, he had given his word.

  Besides, he was a married man despite his unintentional ruse as a widower. There was no place for them to go except to hell if he followed his desires instead of his common sense. And he prided himself on his common sense.

  He watched the spot where Roxanne and his daughter had disappeared for another few seconds and then turned on his heels and headed in the opposite direction. “Jeremy! Saddle up. We've got a horse to catch.”

  Jeremy called out from the corral where he kept his saddle horses, “Yes, sir. I'm already on it.”

  Alex hurried to help Jeremy saddled the pair of horses. “Did you see which way she went, Mr. Harp?”

  “Yeah, she took Grace back to the house,” he said without thinking.

  “What?” Jeremy stopped cinching the horse's saddle and turned to give him a strange look.

  “Oh, the horse. Yes, she headed toward the watershed. That's where the mares are. We'll start there.”

  Jeremy nodded and turned back to his task. Alex tried to get a grip on himself and banish all thought of Roxanne from his mind. But images of her with his daughter hand in hand punched him in his gut. Protecting Grace, teaching Grace, loving Grace—those are things a mother should be doing. Without warning that thought led his mind to his big four-poster bed where Roxanne was now sleeping—alone.

  “Damn it.” He cursed out loud.

  “Don't worry, Mr. Harp. We'll find her and when we do, you can hobble her. That’ll get the filly’s attention. Then, you can teach her to do exactly what you want her to do.”

  He nearly choked on Jeremy's words. They were much too close to the inappropriate visions swimming around inside his head.

  He shoved his foot into the stirrup and pulled himself up into the saddle. Without another word, he reined his horse in the direction of the mares. Once he cleared the corral gate, he leaned forward and spurred his mount to stretch out into a fast gallop.

  He wasn't worried he wouldn’t find the horse soon enough. He had a pretty good idea where she was.

  He slapped the reins against the horse’s rump and encouraged the fleet-footed mare to run faster. No, he wasn't worried about the horse. He was worried about his whole world collapsing in on him if he couldn’t get a handle on these unexpected feelings for Roxanne.

  Everything he was working toward depended on Roxanne Sheffield. Everything. His ranch. His daughter. His future. He could ill afford an inappropriate attachment that would tarnish her reputation and damage his good name.

  And that’s exactly what would happen if he failed to resist the pull he felt when he was near Roxanne. He had a wife, albeit an unwanted one. He was not in a position to even entertain an involvement with Roxanne.

  Besides, he had made a deal and he would not betray his friends, John and Regina, by going back on his promises to protect Roxanne’s reputation.

  “There she is, Alex,” Jeremy pointed to the filly in the distance, running the fence of the far pasture. “She’s trying to find a way to get in to the pasture with the mares and their foals. If she gets in, there’s gonna be trouble.”

  Alex knew his hired hand was right. The mares would protect their babies from the unwanted interloper and the little filly could come to great harm if he and Jeremy didn’t intervene.

  Thoughts of Roxanne returned with a vengeance as Jeremy’s meaning drifted from his horses to his heart.

  ex knew if the filly got in with the mares, the mares would become aggressive to protect their babies.“Yeah, if she gets in, there’s gonna be trouble.”

  Chapter 6

  Two weeks had passed since Roxanne and Grace had collided with Alex in the barn. Since then, they had quietly staked their territories. Roxanne stayed close to the house and gardens while Alex stayed outside. He only returned to the house to eat his meals and visit his daughter. It was an amiable unspoken agreement, but a lonely one she had to admit.

  Roxanne woke early each morning and took her place at the table in the kitchen's bay window. Her routine of rising before anyone else allowed her the solitude she craved to scribble notes in her journal. She was surprised at how quickly she was growing to love this wild and beautiful country. She tried to capture every detail of this place so when she returned to Boston in the fall, she could remember the magic of this place.

  “Good morning.” Alex's deep voice startled her quiet reflection, but it was not an unwelcome interruption. In fact, she realized she looked forward to his company.

  “Good morning, yourself.” Her heart danced a little at the sight of him. His light-colored hair brushed the collar of his shirt while his blond beard gave him a wild, untamed aura about him that made her breath catch.

  “Are you ready for some breakfast before you start your day?” She rose and pulled the coffee pot from the stove in order to have time to collect herself. She inhaled a slow, deep breath and exhaled as she filled his cup waiting for his answer.

  He sat at the table in his usual place and sipped the hot black coffee before he answered. “No, I've got to take the wagon into Durango this morning and buy some fencing supplies. I'll grab a bite while I'm in town.”

  Roxanne was surprised at her disappointment and quickly dismissed it as a symptom of her isolation here on the ranch. In truth, she had had very limited adult conversations since Alex had kept to himself more than she thought possible since the barn incident. He ate his meals with her and his daughter and he spent some evenings on the porch swing with them, but he had kept his distance from her—and she had to admit it pricked her ego more than a little bit.

  “I see. I wish I had known you were going to Durango today. I could have used a trip into town myself.”

  “Write down what you need, and I'll be happy to pick it up for you while I'm at the general store,” Alex offered and quickly emptied his coffee cup.

  “More?”

  “No, I've got to get going. I want to get back before noon. There's a lot of work to do today and I can't get started until I get supplies.”

  “Perhaps the next time you go, I can catch a ride into town.” She could have used a visit with her cousin, but she would wait for a better opportunity. If she insisted on going today, she would delay Alex in getting his supplies and she didn't want to be the cause of disrupting their amicable truce.

  “I'll be happy to get whatever it is you need—”

  “No, Alex. It isn't things for the house that I need. It's people.”

  “People? I don't understand.” The confusion on his face was so adorable.

  ”It has been two weeks since I've had a conversation with another female. Or rather an adult female. Although Grace is a joy to be around, and I love her spirit, she doesn't have quite the conversational skills I'm accustomed to when chatting about women things.”

  “Women things?” He loo
ked a bit flummoxed at the word.

  “It isn't a bad word, Alex. Women things. You know. Dresses. Hats. Social gatherings. Cooking. Children. Gossip. All the usual things women talk about when the menfolk aren't about.” She hid her amusement behind her cup as she took another sip of coffee.

  “Ah, women things. Of course. I understand,” he breathed a sigh of understanding. “You are a city girl and you aren't used to the quiet solitude of this place. I find the quiet gives me peace and allows me to think better than the busy streets of town. I suppose a woman such as yourself could find this kind of solitude…oppressing.”

  “Such as myself?” Roxanne smiled at his assumption. “Just because I choose to live in the city, doesn't mean I don't appreciate solitude now and again. But even you have to admit a trip to town on occasion is a welcome relief from the lack of human interaction.”

  He grinned and nodded. “I suppose that is true enough. The last three months I was here alone waiting on Grace and Kate—”

  Roxanne watched Alex struggle with his unintentional mention of his wife and her heart ached once again for his loss. He must have loved her very much if he still couldn't speak her name without hurting. A tiny prick of something made her envious of the dead woman. Deep down, she knew what that something was, but there was no place in her life for those kind of feelings for a man like Alex.

  As soon as the thought materialized in her mind, she pushed it away. She wasn't a jealous person by nature and especially not of someone who was deceased. That was a ridiculous thought.

  “I’m sorry for your pain, Alex, but it will fade in time. Time heals all wounds, or so I've been told. I, myself, have never experienced the such a deep loss of someone I loved so deeply. Therefore, it wouldn’t be fair of me to say I understand your pain, but in time, the pain will lessen and those lonely places in your heart will fill with lovely memories of your life together with—”

  “I need to get goin'.” Alex stood abruptly and turned toward the kitchen door. Roxanne watched him hesitate, his hand on the door's knob. “Sometimes memories are deceiving. They make you believe things were better than they were. Sometimes, memories can fool a person.” His voice vibrated with his emotions.