“Freddie,” I said, hating the longing in his voice. He had to know I felt the same way.
“No, wait.” He gulped. “You said you’d get a drink and come right back. I waited for what felt like an hour before I saw you leave the party with another guy. You were all smiles and using the same touches with him. It…sucked. I know we only talked for a bit, but I’d thought we hit it off, and to see you leave with him,” he paused, giving me a soul-crushing look that made me feel sick.
Another instance where my actions hurt someone unintentionally. Like Naomi all over again, only this time I remembered being disappointed when I couldn’t find him to say goodbye. It all happened so fast. To think I’d caused him to doubt himself this whole time? I hated myself for doing that to him.
“It really set my confidence back again and solidified that I’m incredibly boring.”
“Oh my god,” I said, reaching over to grip his shoulders. “I didn’t leave with that guy. He was the boyfriend of one of the girls on the dance team, and he was sloshed. Like, needed to get his stomach pumped sloshed. I helped get his ass into a car, and they took him to the hospital. Freddie, I felt those things too that night. I went back in to find you, but you were gone.”
If there was a competition of who could best impersonate a statue, he’d win in a landslide. His face froze on an expression I could only describe as shock. I rubbed his shoulders a few times and smiled, a genuine grin that made my insides get all weird. “Is that why you always looked at me like you hated me?”
“I never hated you,” he said, snapping out of his trance. He placed his hands over mine, leaving them there for a second before removing them from his body.
In a way, that felt like a rejection even though I wasn’t asking for anything. It felt important to add more to the emotional firepit I was dancing in. “I was into you that night too.”
Half of his mouth quirked up in a smile, the change from serious to content enough to make me want to kiss those damn lips. “That’s what I meant by my comment. Even as friends…if you choose someone else when you said you’d give me time, it would hurt.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I know that now.” The grin reached his eyes, and I wondered for a moment, what it’d be like to have Freddie as a boyfriend.
He’d be loyal, and kind, and funny. He’d probably kiss the same way he studied, and just thinking about his focus sent a shiver down my body. We had to get out of this fucking classroom.
“Now that we got it settled, bud, let’s get into shenanigans.”
“Ah, yes. My favorite thing. Shenanigans,” he teased, making me laugh.
“Oh, you’re going to regret saying that, big guy.” I patted his arm and started walking toward the door. “It would be an honor to corrupt you a little, Frederick Brady the Third. Now, let’s go.”
CHAPTER
TEN
Freddie
I was into you that night too.
As Cami dragged us from bar to bar, those words were ingrained in my head like they were etched there with a damn pickaxe. We were at our third bar, and she took my hand and dragged me to the counter.
“Hydration.” She patted the stool next to her and smiled up at me, showing all her teeth. “Key to surviving the parties is more water than drinks.”
Another thing that surprised me about her was how intentional she was. She never drank anything she didn’t see opened herself and always pointed out the exits.
“Is this another one of Cami’s Rules?”
“Yes, in fact, it’s item number two.” She held up her fingers and ordered tall glasses of water from the bartender. She crossed one leg over the other so her dangling foot hit my thigh.
I didn’t hate it there.
“What else is on your list?” I took a large swig of the water, unsure when or how I’d gotten a little tipsy. I could feel it in the tingles across my face and my constant urges to touch Cami. My inhibitions were weakened, loosened, gone like the wind when I drank, and there was very little holding me back from all the reasons why I shouldn’t touch her.
I needed my own set of rules.
I was leaving at the semester to go on an internship in the city.…working with my uncle and being close to my parents. It’d launch my career. I’d become someone. My stomach twisted thinking about living alone in one of the busiest places in the country while my close friends would be here. Seeing Cami like this, free and beautiful and honest… I didn’t want to walk-away.
But she didn’t do relationships, and that’s all I did.
Oh, and the fact I was boring so she’d never be into me now.
Better. The list cooled the raging lust I had, and I downed the entire glass before looking at her.
“Big guy, you alright?” She frowned. “Should we head back?”
“Nonsense. I want to see the rest of your list. It’s a must!”
She laughed, a real genuine giggle, and hit the counter. “A must, you say. Then it shall be done!”
The sparkle returned in her eyes. The one that made me want to yank her to my chest by the strap of her workout bra.
“Cami-girl!” a loud, deep voice boomed from the other side of us, like an unwanted bout of thunder. It dampened the mood and put a real cloud over me. Of course this would happen.
A very jacked and handsome guy headed straight toward us. He easily matched me in size, but the dude had arms strong enough to break the bar top.
“Jake! Hey!” She beamed at him, and he leaned over to give her a hug. She gripped him right back, his hands coming down on her exposed midriff, and I wished this water were vodka.
“You look good. Can’t wait to see y’all dancing at the game Friday. You hitting up Jackie’s after?”
“If we win, absolutely. You know I can’t miss a J5 Party.”
“Right on.” The guy glanced at me and nodded. “Hey.”
“Heya,” I said, like a total idiot. I tried to say hi and hey, and that weird sound came out, and oh my Jesus. Cami was too cool for me and what was I doing here? Hanging with her? Acting like this was normal for me?
Jake laughed and hit my back before saying goodbye. There was nothing overly flirtatious about the exchange, but my neck sweat from overhearing it. The guy had to play football.
“Heya?” she said, nudging my shoulder with hers and letting out another pleased giggle. “What was that?”
“I don’t know.” I glanced down at the coaster on the bar, wishing I were back at the dorm and away from all of this extra-ness. It wasn’t me. “Uh, I should—”
“Rule number three—where there is a DJ, you always request your favorite song. Come on.” She slid off the stool, pressing her chest against my side as she looked up at me. “I’ll request Heya by Outkast. Just for you.”
I snorted. There was no other way to describe the sound that came out of me at the perfect timing of her joke. Her smile grew, and her eyes did that shimmering thing again, only it was all directed at me. “You little devil,” I said, my voice dropping lower than intended.
She scrunched her nose, and maybe it was the sway of her hips, or the sparkle in her eyes, or the fact I just liked her that I got out of the stool and totally forgot about my horribly embarrassing moment.
Her hand closed around mine as she dragged us toward the DJ booth, and suddenly, I could picture how dating her would be. Her pushing me outside of my comfort zone and me being the support, the person she could count on. I longed for it, to be hers.
Damn beer making me imagine things.
She bent over to talk to the DJ, not once letting go of my hand, and he nodded at her. I imagined it’d be hard to say no to someone like her, so confident and beautiful. Even now, still wearing her dance gear and her hair in braids, she shone.
She said something to me, but I couldn’t hear over the upbeat techno song blasting over the speakers, so she stood on her tiptoes, gripped my arm for balance, and said into my ear, “I’m having him dedicate the song to you,
big guy.”
I was going to hyperventilate. Her lips touched my ear. Her perfectly painted lips brushed against my body, making goosebumps explode down my neck and arms. I was pretty sure I nodded, but I wasn’t positive. My mind was exactly on her o-shaped mouth and how good it would feel on my skin.
She yanked my hand again and started dancing in a super cool rhythmic way that made no sense to me. Her hips and stomach were mesmerizing, and at one point, she attempted to make me dance.
I did not dance.
“Freddie, shake your hips.” She grinned up at me and placed her fingers on my waist, trying to move me from side to side. “Back and forth.”
I shook my head like a petulant child. Couldn’t she see I was a hot ass mess? I was still thinking about her touching my ear, not dancing with her when everyone around us moved in sensual ways.
She didn’t listen to me. She shoved me harder, her smile growing when she pinched my waist. Cami Simpson pinched me. “Hey!” I yelped.
“Item number five: must always dance!” She did a goofy shoulder dance that almost had me smiling, but I remained strong for the rest of the song. Not letting her force me or convince me to suddenly bust a move.
I had no moves to bust, only a muscle or two. When it ended, I walked off the dance floor, unsure if I needed another water, another drink, or to slap myself in the face to snap out of the Cami-induced haze.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen her dance before. She was hard to miss on the field during football games. My attention had drifted to her quite a few times over the last year but her dancing right in front of me was pushing my limits.
I yawned, running my hand over my face just as Cami caught up to me. Her eyes had that sparkle, and she elbowed my side playfully. “Should we get you back? Past your bedtime?”
I checked my phone, ignoring a message from an unknown number. It was midnight.
“No, I was just up early today.”
“I’m tired too. One more stop on our fun friend night then I’ll make sure you get home nice and safe. I’m a real gentleman.”
I smiled, charmed at her being kinda dorky with me. “So considerate.”
“Thank you.”
We left the bar, not holding hands. That seemed to be an inside the bar only thing which was fine with me. It was sweaty and hot anyway.
The late summer air was humid as hell, and my shirt stuck to my skin in an uncomfortable way. Despite all of the things that put me outside my comfort zone, tonight was the most fun I had in a while. Instead of the dread of heading back to the dorm, there was a lightness in my step. Didn’t take a genius to know it was because of Cami, but I didn’t let myself overthink as to why.
That was dangerous territory.
“I’m going to do it,” she said, her voice just above a whisper and deadly serious. “I’m going to agree to be co-captain for two reasons. The first—our team needs it. It’s not fair to all the girls for me to keep up this grudge with Audrey. The second—legacy. Daniella needs training on how to lead. If we work together for the year, then the team will be in great hands after I graduate.”
“I think it’d be a shame if you weren’t a part of something you love with your whole heart. I’m glad you came to a good decision,” I said, feeling a warmth in my chest as she stopped and smiled up at the stars.
“Thanks to you.”
“Me?”
She nodded and glanced up at me with gratitude swirling in her large brown eyes. “I needed this. A buddy. A friend to distract me from the emotions and let me focus on the real question: can I quit the dance team? Which the answer is no. So, thank you, Freddie.”
“I didn’t do anything, really.”
“You were with me.” She shrugged, like those four words didn’t make my world rock.
Was that all she wanted? Someone there for her?
I had my parents, Camden, even Michael. Who did Cami have? We kept walking in silence back to the dorm, but I kept thinking about those words. The fact she was into me a year ago and her confession of being lonely were enough to flatten me.
We got to an intersection, and instead of going right toward the dorms, she went left.
“Where are you heading?”
“I told you, one more stop.” She had that bewitching look again, like she knew an inside joke that I didn’t. “It’ll be worth it. Trust me.”
“Is there food?” I rubbed my stomach, still feeling the drinks and damn well knowing I’d wake up feeling like crap if I didn’t put something in there to soak it up.
“Guess you’ll have to see. It’s item six on my list—must stop at Timmy’s place.”
I knew better than to ask what Timmy’s place was since she was almost skipping with excitement. I liked seeing this side of her, getting to learn her list and her favorite spots on campus. I wouldn’t call the tunnel one of my favorites, but it was definitely a part of my story. If Timmy’s was part of hers… then I was all in.
“I found this place by accident a few months ago. I’m furious I only discovered them my final year here. But the good news is that the studio I dance at has potential for me to work more hours. If that happens, I can save up for my studio and then I can come here all the time.”
“Save up for a studio?”
“Oh.” She winced and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “That’s what I plan to do. Open my own dance studio for all ages and levels. I want to have team competition and have a dance therapy option too. There are so many young dancers with so few choices in town.”
“You want to stay here?”
“Yes. This has been my home my whole life. I love this city.” She clapped her hands and pointed to an unmarked door with just a light above it. There were two shops on either side, but this door was just black. “Here we are.”
This city. Not Chicago. I shook my head, my thoughts jumping to conclusions it had no business doing. My future was set. She wasn’t a part of it… right?
“Um, is this a sex club?” I asked, my beer brain being a real dingus.
She stopped walking, narrowed her eyes, and blinked. “I thought you’d be okay with it? They make you sign this NDA, but it’s no big deal. We should strip out here though before going in.”
She gripped the edge of her bra, and my breath caught in my throat, needing her to finish the movement and remove the tiny piece of clothing she’d been wearing all night. My mind tried telling me her tone was off and she was joking because why would there be a sex club right here? Why did I even say that?
“My god, Freddie, I’m fucking with you. You should see your face right now.” She tilted her head back and laughed, deep and loud, drawing stares from others walking on the street. “Come on, big guy.”
My face burned, and my palms were drenched. A sex club with her would straight up kill me. From lust alone. A month ago, the thought of going in one wouldn’t have computed, but with her? I’d do almost anything.
She took my hand in hers again and opened the unlabeled door. She had no idea why my face was twisted like that. None. It was all from her little tease.
She pulled me into a dark store that played soft jazz and smelled like chocolate perfection. Gelato and coffee and cookies covered the counter, and she glanced back at me with the light shining right behind her, giving her an angelic look. “This is my secret place. I only allow myself a small each time, but unnnh it’s the best thing you’ll have in your mouth.”
She went up to the counter, pulling me with her when a familiar laugh had me turning my head. I knew that laugh. Not super loud, but it was deep and raspy. There was no way… not here though.
But when my gaze landed on the table to my left, I couldn’t believe it. My ex was here.
Maddie was here.
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
Cami
“Hey, Cami,” Timmy said, the owner and creator of the best place on campus. He was a thirty-something guy covered in tattoos with long hair he wore in a bun. He’d dropped out ten years ago and st
arted this place because baking was his thing.
“Got a virgin for you today,” I said, smiling as I glanced at Freddie, but his attention wasn’t on us. He was staring at a table to his left where a pretty girl looked back at him with wide eyes.
An unwelcome shot of jealousy went through me, which was not something I felt often. I envied others’ successes, but jealousy was more about not sharing my toys. Freddie wasn’t mine, yet the thought of this girl knowing him, holding his hand, and getting his secret tunnel tours made my jaw tighten.
“Freddie?” I said, hoping he’d turn back to me. I really needed him to remember he came with me. It just seemed important.
But he didn’t. He stood still as a statue and eyed the woman. She got up out of her seat, and I tugged on his arm. “Hey, do you want anything?”
“Um, no,” he said, shaking his head as he barely glanced at me. He immediately dropped my hand, like he couldn’t stand to be seen with me as the woman approached. My stomach soured, and the thought of eating gelato didn’t seem as fun anymore.
“For you, Cami?” Timmy asked, his dark brows furrowed as he studied Freddie. I didn’t blame him. The giant man drew attention, and he’d basically thrown my hand from his. It was weird. Plus, I never brought anyone here with me. It was my thing.
“Um, just a small vanilla, please. To go.” My tongue felt too large for my mouth as my stomach churned in a horrible way. I chewed on my lip when Freddie walked away from me and met the pretty girl halfway to the small booth section. I paid for the treat, got a spoon, and tried not to feel gross inside.
It wasn’t new for me to be dropped when something else came along. I was a temporary, shiny toy for people.
You’re more than that. Freddie wasn’t cruel, and I should give him the benefit of explaining who this girl was because from his tightened fists at his sides and bunched up shoulders, she mattered somehow.
From the Top (Central State) Page 9
