From the Top (Central State)

by Jaqueline Snowe

  He didn’t have to say it. He knew. He knew me and what this meant.

  Words were still tough to form as Daniella led me out into the hall. But as we neared the door, I realized I only wore Freddie’s shirt. “Damn! Let me put clothes on.”

  “Only you could totally pull off a boyfriend tee. Seriously.”

  “Right? It’s not even fair how you can make a bag look good, C.”

  C.

  A nickname?

  Me?

  Naomi had all the nicknames growing up, never me.

  I was going to burst into tears of … something. Happiness. Hope. Like I maybe I had someone who picked me? It wasn’t until I got into my room and put on shorts and a tank that I realized they’d called Freddie my boyfriend.

  Instead of my usual freak out at the mere thought of commitment, I smiled and chewed my bottom lip. We weren’t anything close to that, but still…If I was going to break my anti-relationship mindset for anyone, it’d be with him. Without a single doubt.

  After I was hydrated and fed, Daniella led the team in a plan of action at Vi’s apartment. They weren’t going to walk away from the team—thank God. That wasn’t fair to the school or to them, but we were going to stage an intervention with Audrey.

  It seems I wasn’t the only one who noticed her picking on me. She’d made comments to the other girls about me, isolating me from them, letting the girls think I didn’t like them. My blood boiled at her actions. Truly.

  I might’ve partied a little too much and wore a lot of makeup, but I’d never done anything wrong enough to warrant this shit.

  “So, Monday, we go to her office at nine and won’t leave until we hash it out. Her style is unacceptable, and I think we have a case to go to the Dean of Athletics, huh?” one of the girls said.

  “Possibly. She’s always been so level-headed, so that’s why this is so weird. Did you do something to piss her off? Even if it was small?” Vi asked, tapping her fingers along her jaw.

  “Not that I know of.” I met Daniella’s eyes, and a rush of gratitude went through me. She was the reason the girls were here for me. She’d told them about how I helped her and took care of her, and that was why they started talking about Audrey.

  Daniella had set them all straight, and it was crazy how every negative thought I had about her disappeared. She was being a real leader right now, speaking up for what was right and standing by her teammate.

  Shit. My eyes were going to maybe sting again.

  “This won’t happen. Not anymore. You’re one of us, Cami. You have been since you were a freshman. We’ll get this figured out, okay? I promise.” Daniella put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed, the fierce look in her eyes making her seem older. I nodded, and someone ordered pizza.

  Then Vi put on Real Housewives.

  An hour went by, then another one, and soon enough, it was evening. In all four years I had been on the team, at Central State, we’d never had a full-day bonding that wasn’t scheduled or part of camp. There were cliques within the team who hung out constantly, but that wasn’t something I’d experienced before. It was unsettling and weird and wonderful.

  “So, Cami, how long have you been with that Henry Cavill look-alike?” Vi asked.

  “Freddie?” I choked on the water and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Oh, we’re not… together.”

  “Okay, okay, okay, I get it,” Vi said, smiling. “You were wearing his shirt and looked mighty comfortable with him. You had the geef vibe going on.”

  “Geef?”

  “Girlfriend. GF. Geef. Sorry, my partner and I use that lingo all the time, and I forgot other people don’t.” She shrugged, and someone else called her name, distracting her from our conversation.

  Was she right? Did I have a girlfriend vibe? My skin warmed, and I chewed my lip, loving the hell out of this hangout but secretly wishing I was able to get garbage food with Freddie.

  I twirled my phone on my palm, trying to think of something clever to text him. It wasn’t like I could just say hey…well, I guess I could? But he could be busy. He could be studying at our spot, and ugh. A pang hit my chest.

  It had only been eight hours, but I missed seeing him already. This was becoming too much, and I needed to step back. I had a team supporting me for the first time, and I was thinking about some guy when I had no idea where I stood with him.

  I shook my head, set my phone down, and pretended to be invested in the TV show. It lasted thirty minutes before my phone buzzed, and my heart leapt in my throat. Freddie!

  Naomi: Hey, hey! I know you’re probs going to a party already but we’re having a movie night if you wanna head over!

  Cami: Damn. I’m with the dance team. We’re bonding and shit?

  Naomi: I love that!

  Naomi: Okay, well, what do I have to do to get you to come to trivia with us Tuesday? Mona backed out. Plus, I miss your face.

  Cami: You have the same one. Look in the mirror.

  Naomi: Ha. Don’t leave me hanging. Michael and his buddy Freddie are coming, and they know way too much random shit. It’s fun. I SWEAR.

  My heart lurched in my chest at the thought of hanging out with Freddie with my sister and her boyfriend. It’d be almost like a date? A double-date? No. A friend hangout. That was it. My thumb paused over the screen just as a text came through of a large cheeseburger.

  Freddie: I have a sympathy hangover for you and am eating this burger in your honor.

  My smile almost hurt my face. Keeping my distance was impossible, and I’d just figure out what to do about these feelings later.

  CHAPTER

  SIXTEEN

  Freddie

  My left leg bounced up and down so much it made the condiments on the top of the table clink together at the small sandwich shop. The ketchup kept hitting the salt, so I moved them two inches apart. It didn’t prevent the nerves, but at least the annoying sound stopped.

  Maddie is coming.

  It had to be done. It wasn’t fair to myself or Cami if I continued down whatever path we were on without closing this one. Because one thing I knew, without a doubt, was that I had feelings for Cami. Large ones. Slightly terrifying ones if I were honest with myself. Her spending time with the dance team yesterday was probably for the best. It gave me space to get my head on straight and set up this meeting with Maddie.

  “Freddie, hey,” a familiar voice pulled my attention to the right just before a warm hand landed on my neck. Maddie grazed her fingers over the back of my head, sending uncomfortable goosebumps down my body.

  I didn’t want her touching me.

  My jaw tensed, and I gestured to the spot in front of me, ignoring the heavy beat of my pulse that seemed to radiate all the way to my fingertips. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I used a napkin to wipe it and adjust my glasses as she sat. Confrontation was in my top three least favorite things in the world, and this one was long overdue.

  Even when she’d dumped me and broke my heart, I’d let her walk away because she made it clear that she was out of my league from the start.

  “I’m so glad you called me, babe. I’ve missed you.” Her face crumpled into a million soft lines as she reached over and placed her palm on the top of my hand. Her touch made me squirm, and I pulled my hand away.

  “You look good. How are your classes? And Camden? We have so much to catch up on.”

  She laughed and smiled at the waitress. “I’ll have an iced tea. An Arnold Palmer for you, babe?”

  “Um, no, I’m okay.” I already had a drink on the table, and even though she ordered my favorite drink, I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of remembering that. “My water is fine.”

  The waitress left, meaning Maddie and I were alone in the back corner. Why did I choose somewhere so secluded? I ran a hand over my jaw and cleared my throat, unsure of where to begin. She wanted to chat, and I needed to say all the things I’d held back. But how did I start?

  “Maddie,” I said, my voice coming out more in contr
ol than I felt. “What is your goal here?”

  “To talk to you.” She frowned. “To talk about us.”

  Anger flared under my skin, causing my grip on the table to tighten. “There is no us. Stop acting like there is.”

  “Freddie,” she said, her voice a little chastising. “I know I messed up, okay? I’ve thought about my mistake a million times this past year, and I want to rectify it.”

  “You told me I was boring and then you dated four different guys? How am I supposed to believe you?”

  “You’ve been keeping tabs on me, huh?” She smiled, a triumphant look in her eyes that was nothing like the expression Cami had. When Cami had a mischievous expression, it was amusing and fun. Like she had a secret she wanted to tell me.

  Maddie was manipulative.

  “No.” I put the palms of my hands on the table and kept them still. “Camden has, and he made sure I knew about all the times you were dumped. I’m not a consolation prize, alright? I’m not the guy who waits around for you to figure your shit out.”

  Her cheeks turned red just as the waitress returned, and she gave her a tight smile. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. “I didn’t know what I wanted! I thought I needed danger, excitement, I don’t know! You had your routines and your weeks planned. I felt… Now I do. I want the safety we had and your weird little Skittles thing.” She gripped my hands hard as she leaned over the table. “We talked about life after school. Living together. I still think about that. If there is even a small part of you that wants this…please, give me another chance.”

  Two months ago, this conversation might’ve gone an entirely different way. Dating was hard for me, and for three years, I’d thought Maddie was the one. I ignored all the red flags because I loved her. But with distance, those flags grew larger and large until they were huge yellow targets I couldn’t avoid.

  I took a deep breath, letting go of the resentment, and spoke straight from the heart. “You hurt me, Mads. You pulled the rug out from under me and hit every insecurity I ever had. I’ve gone over all the things I wanted to say to you this past year, but after seeing you now, none of it matters.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That I’m over you. Us. What we used to be.” I leaned back in my chair, the tightness around my shoulders loosening as the conversation wore on. My pulse raced, sure, but this felt right. Overdue.

  “Is it cause you’re with someone else?” she asked, her posture going straight and the soft lines around her eyes tightening.

  “No. It doesn’t matter if I’m seeing anyone at all. I met you here today because I need this chapter closed.”

  She swallowed hard, and her eyes misted as she played with the straw in her drink. I used to do whatever I could to make her smile when she was sad, but her pouting seemed different this time. Performative. I adjusted my glasses and scooted the chair back. It caused a terribly loud scraping sound, and her gaze darted to me. “You’re leaving? I just got here!”

  “We’re not going to be friends, and I said everything I had to. What’s the point in staying? My mind isn’t changing.” I stood up, made sure my clothes were smooth, and pushed the chair back in.

  “You’re… different.” Her eyes flashed with interest, and she rubbed her collarbone with her forefinger. That was always her tell when she was attracted to someone, and irritation prickled my skin.

  “Goodbye, Maddie.” I didn’t look back as I left the sandwich shop, excitement making me walk with a little skip to my step. No more baggage with Maddie. No more knots forming in my chest when I heard her name or thought about seeing her again.

  Camden had always pushed me to confront her, but that was more his style. I was quiet, calm, and passive. Yelling and big showdowns weren’t my thing. The conversation with her put an end to all that garbage, and my soul seemed lighter.

  While having that talk with Maddie wasn’t entirely because I wanted to kiss Cami, it definitely sped up the process. With the purpose of visiting my neighbor, I walked fast back to the dorms, ignoring the way my shirt stuck to my skin the second I entered the hallway. I knocked on her door and waited.

  I didn’t have a plan besides seeing her…which was very anti-me. Plans were who I was, my kink. My breath lodged in my throat as her footsteps padded toward the door and the handle twisted. Every muscle I had tensed as I froze, desperately wanting to see her with an unexplainable pull.

  She wore a red dress with a tie on the side, and her entire face lit up when she opened the door. Those two seconds of witnessing the joy I brought her was one of the best feelings. Her lips were bare as they curved up, but it was her eyes that reeled me in. The dark brown gaze teased me. “Freddie,” she said, her tone going higher than normal, and without thinking, I closed the distance between us and cupped her face.

  She sucked in a breath as I ran my thumb over her bottom lip, the softness of it almost enough to ruin me. Such a strong, sassy woman who was so misunderstood. But I knew her.

  “What are you…” she whispered, her pulse racing at the base of her neck as we entered her room and the door shut.

  “Have you been crying?” I asked, my skin getting way too tight for my body as need prickled all over me from being near her. Cami’s vanilla and peaches scent made my mouth water, and I took a deep breath as I waited for her answer.

  “Um, no?” She blinked a lot, her hands coming up to grip my t-shirt. She looked back and forth between my eyes, her breathing getting heavier as I moved my hand to her neck.

  “Are you drunk?”

  “No.”

  “Sad?”

  She shook her head, chewing her lip as confusion clouded her eyes. “Why are you asking—”

  “Then I can kiss you now. No wait,” I said, my face burning. “Can I? I mean, can I kiss you now?”

  Cami wet her bottom lip with her tongue before she nodded. “Yes.”

  My body trembled as I ran my hand over her neck, throat, then back up to her cheek. Her skin was smooth and warm, and I could stare at each freckle and eyelash for hours, just studying the way her expressions told a story. Nerves twisted my spine, and my stomach ached with want and uncertainty, but I shoved it all to the back of my mind and focused on this beautiful woman.

  “Freddie, stop staring at me and do it.”

  I fought a grin and finally brought my lips to hers.

  The second our mouths touched, liquid fire flowed through my veins. My heart threatened to jump out of my chest to join hers, and I couldn’t get enough of her.

  I wrapped my arm around her back, pulling her trim body against mine so I could feel each beat of her heart, and I moaned against her lips. Her tongue greeted mine hungrily, and she tilted her head back, giving me more access. I nipped at her pillow-soft lips, wanting to savor the cherry flavor of them for the rest of my life. Her mouth was delicious and enticing, and my body trembled as our mouths meshed together. Cami kissed how she lived, boldly, with fire, and I was putty in her hands.

  “My god,” I said, my voice shaky as I rested my forehead against hers. Her minty breath hit my face, and she let out a tiny sound of pleasure.

  There wasn’t even any touching and all my blood was heading south.

  I craved more.

  I kept one hand on her lower back and brought the other to the cup her head to tip it back, giving me the angle I wanted. She looked up at with me, heat swirling in her eyes, before I kissed her again, holding her gaze.

  She opened her mouth and teased the outside of my lip with her tongue, sending a shudder through me, and I snapped. Instead of being gentle, I devoured her. She tasted like mint and cherry, and every stroke of her tongue got me hotter.

  This wasn’t a slow, sexy kiss. It was messy with teeth and tongue and desperate sounds escaping my throat. “Cami,” I said, unsure if I was begging or thanking her. She didn’t respond though.

  She pushed me backward until I sat on her bed, her warm, tight body sliding onto my lap. My cock twitched as she s
traddled me.

  “The amount of times I envisioned you in my bed… this doesn’t come close.”

  “Yeah?” I grinned, running my fingers up her bare thighs and almost combusting at feeling her skin. She was just as hungry too. She rubbed her hands all over my shoulders, my chest, up my head and through my hair. Her swollen lips teased me, and I groaned when she lowered her head and kissed my neck. “Shit,” I hissed.

  “You smell so fucking good, Freddie.” She brought my earlobe into her mouth and bit it, sending a jolt through my body.

  “Behave,” I said, pulling her back up so her face was inches from mine. She had her mischievous expression again, but this time, her reddened cheeks were from our kiss. From me. “Look at you.” I ran a finger over her mouth, neck, and down the center of her chest where her dress dipped low. “So pretty. So perfect.”

  She shuddered on my lap, the movement causing her to rock against my erection. She panted as I undid one button on her dress, right at the top. She squirmed as I stared at the way her collarbone stuck out and how she had a cluster of freckles right below her shoulder.

  If she thought this was going to be quick, she had no idea. I’d waited over a year to taste her, and I wanted this to last. I undid another button, bending lower to kiss her neck, down her shoulder, and just above her chest.

  “Wh-what are you doing?”

  “Getting to know your body.”

  “Get to know other places first, please.” Her voice was husky, and the fact she was so turned on made me grin against her skin. Me. The boring giant had Cami Simpson turned on.

  “Mm, I’ll take my time.” I undid another button and sucked in a breath at the red lacy bra she wore. She wiggled on top of me as I slowly ran my hand up her spine and pulled her in for another deep kiss. This time she relaxed into me, sucking my tongue into her mouth and full on grinding her hips. I gripped her waist, enjoying the fact she was sitting on my lap, when she reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled.