I’d let her go today and try again in the morning. Because even though there was a chance there was nothing to save, I had to keep trying. Cami was a gift, the person I wanted a future with, and I’d just have to earn her trust back…no matter what it took.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Cami
Audrey looked like hell. She’d always been put together and cute AF, but she was a hot ass mess. She’d lost weight and let herself go. A part of me felt like she deserved this, a little what goes around comes around. But it didn’t last long.
We walked shoulder to shoulder, and with one more look to my right, I found Freddie watching us. He nodded, his lips forming a tight smile before he shoved his hands in his pockets and headed in the opposite direction. God, my body was in overdrive with him being here, the look on his face when he saw me… like he cared for me. I had some time away from our argument, and we had some things to discuss. But… later. Audrey wanted to apologize?
It was all too much.
I needed to focus on one thing at a time. Audrey. Then Daniella’s party. Then… Freddie. I exhaled and kept my face neutral. Audrey had been a good coach for three years, but that didn’t excuse her irrational behavior that harmed me and the team. I wasn’t sure if I could forgive her, but I would hear her out.
I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but her apology meant a lot. Closure of sorts. I cleared my throat once we left the stadium. There was a black bench donated by a sorority house, and I gestured to it.
She sat down first and crossed her legs. She tapped her fingers against her knees as I joined her. I wrapped my arms around my bag, grounding myself. I wasn’t going to make this easier. She’d have to speak first.
“Cami,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
She cried, putting her face in her hands and leaving me completely unsure of what to do. I refused to comfort her. I locked my fingers. “Why?”
She sucked in a breath, wiped her nose on the back of her arm, and faced me. “You’re so…perfect, Cami. You’re beautiful—you have the face, the body, the moves. You had an attitude on your shoulders that I didn’t like. I wanted to knock you down to see what you’d do.”
“Then you don’t know me at all.” My words came out sharp and jaded. “Kinda fucked up that you, as a coach, wanted to knock me down.”
“I don’t regret naming Daniella captain. You two as co-captains is the best thing for the team. With you graduating next year, you could guide her and the team’s future.” She bounced her knee up and down, grimacing. “I’m so sorry I blamed you, accused you, and treated you how I did. It’s the lowest moment of my life. I should’ve never let my personal life infiltrate into my coaching.”
Hearing her say the words didn’t make everything better, but I didn’t feel unsettled anymore. “Thank you for apologizing.”
“I can’t sleep, eat. I broke it off with my piece-of-shit boyfriend who was cheating on me with my roommate.” She pulled on the ends of her hair. “That doesn’t matter to you though.”
“I want you happy, Audrey. You were good to me for three years.” I sighed and patted her shoulder. “You gotta get your life together.”
“I know. I moved in with my parents again, and I’m going to a therapist. I have a long way to go, but I trusted the wrong guy. Let him overtake my life.” She leaned back and wiped under her eyes. “I said things to you that are unforgiveable, and I understand that. I was in a position of power and abused it. My biggest regret is hurting you. I need you to know that.”
I nodded, feeling the conversation coming to an end. “I’m glad you’re talking to someone. Really.”
She sniffed, stood up, and gave me a watery smile. “Seeing the girls rally behind you was amazing. I hope you found your place now. There are always silver linings in the low moments.”
She waved and headed off toward the parking lot, leaving me alone. I took a few seconds to digest our conversation, the knot in my stomach loosening just a bit. This was good—closure. With her and the senior year that took a million left turns. I brushed off my shirt and jeans and kept my head up.
I needed to stay busy, or I’d think about Freddie. While Audrey had done something more extreme, Freddie essentially did the same thing. Judged me and assumed I was someone I wasn’t. The sort of person who’d sleep with my coach’s boyfriend as revenge.
A person who couldn’t handle the truth that my boyfriend wanted to leave town. I would’ve supported him either way. I understood it was his choice and that Maddie fucked him up, but I was so goddamn sick of people not trusting me. I put my headphones on and marched past the busy road toward the quad when a familiar, tall figure raised a hand in a wave.
My breath caught in my throat. Freddie.
“Hey, hi, uh,” he said, frowning and rubbing the back of his neck. “This isn’t what it seems like.”
“What does it seem like?” My heart pitter-pattered against my ribs like a downpour, and I couldn’t stop staring at him. His gorgeous face, laced with worry. His glasses and jawline. He looked tired and torn up. Despite being put together, the turmoil in his eyes matched Audrey’s.
“I saw your coach walk by crying, and it’s late and dark, and I didn’t know if you’d be upset or alone. I’m… I can walk you? To be safe? Wherever you’re going? I can follow behind you or across the block.” His throat bobbed, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Are you okay?”
He was so charmingly awkward, and I so badly wanted to leap into his arms. My feet twitched with movement. I wasn’t done being upset or mad at him, and Audrey had solidified it. “I’m fine. Just another case of someone making judgements about me without talking about it with me.”
“Cami.” He closed his eyes tight. “I did the wrong thing and said the wrong words. Can I please just make sure you’re safe?”
“You don’t want to hash this out?” My adrenaline pumped through my veins, and I had that wild streak in my blood, the energy that made me do dumb things. Sneaking around, drinking tickets, dancing on bar tops, and doing body shots. The crazy girl already had so many opinions about her, so why bother trying to change my reputation?
“Of course, I do. God, I miss you, and it’s been a day. My whole body hurts thinking about how upset you were…are. But you probably had a tough conversation with your coach and want to have fun?” He blinked fast and kept looking between my eyes.
“What if I do?”
“What if you do, what? Want to talk or want to have fun?”
“I’m not sure, Freddie. You hurt me, and I don’t know what I want, alright? I have this… uncomfortable urge inside me to do something dumb. I mean, what’s the point? I try to be better and change everyone’s perception of me, but it didn’t fucking matter. You, my sister, my coach… everyone already made judgements. So why bother?”
“Stop. This isn’t you. This isn’t my Cami.” He shook his head back and forth, hard. “You can be mad at me, your sister, and your coach. Be mad at all of us, but don’t for one fucking second put yourself down.”
“Your Cami?” I shoved his chest. “You don’t get to say that. If I was your Cami, then you would’ve told me the truth. Included me.”
He exhaled, his nostrils flaring, and he put his hands on his hips. “You’re right. Now, what do you need to do?”
“Wait, what?”
“Tonight. You want to do something dumb? Name it. I’m in. I’ll do it all with you.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“How what works, exactly?” He stepped closer to me, his intense gaze moving to my mouth. “I’m going to fight for you, every second of every day. I need you to understand that. I fucked up, and I’ll own it. I fell so hard for you but was so afraid of disappointing my dad that I hurt you.”
What? Disappoint his dad? This was new. He couldn’t disappoint anyone--he was thoughtful and kind all the time.
Shit. This is happening. I gulped, the air seeming thicker than the usual crisp fa
ll night. Crickets chirped around us, and the lingering fans still hung outside the stadium chatting loudly. I could only blink, the threat of emotions seconds from spilling.
Too much.
“I—I,” I said, unable to form words. I shook my head and focused on the sidewalk. I wasn’t ready to talk about this. Us. The hurt, the mistrust. Not…yet. “Freddie.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He cupped my face and gave me a half smile before taking a step back. The warmth of his touch lingered on my cheek. “We don’t have to talk now. I meant what I said. Every day, I’ll fight.”
I sniffed, the ball of emotions wedging itself in my throat. “I have to uh, head to Daniella’s. She’s having a small party.”
“I’ll walk you there.”
I shrugged, held my bag tighter, and headed toward her apartment. Freddie stayed next to me, not once touching me or saying a word. Each step rustled his jeans, and the breeze picked up his clean, woodsy scent every few seconds. The ten-minute journey went faster than I would’ve liked, and he brought me up to the door.
“Thanks for letting me walk with you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at me like he was trying to see into my head. “Have fun and do what you need to do. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
I couldn’t respond or move. Do what you need to do? Did he mean… go wild? Have fun? “Aren’t you worried about what I’ll do?”
“No.” He smiled. “Because I know you.”
Then, Freddie left the lobby of the apartment building and disappeared onto the street. If he was trying to get me to miss him, it worked. I wanted him here, even if I wasn’t ready to talk.
He said he loves me. Twice.
With a shaky breath, I went into Daniella’s and told the girls everything. We were having a team-only party with vodka and our favorite dance movies, but Freddie didn’t need to know that. However as the night wore on, I couldn’t help but wonder what he meant about seeing me tomorrow.
I was looking forward to it.
“I can’t believe you talked me into doing this class with you.” Daniella groaned as we arrived at the southern part of the quad. In the spirit of team bonding and fundraising, I put together a schedule of teaching Zumba classes and charging two bucks per person. They’d be forty minutes long and right on the quad.
I loved running these classes. Plus, they raised money and spread awareness of our team. “You’ll be great. I bet we get a decent crowd.”
“Everyone was talking about it on socials, so hopefully.” Daniella yawned big. “Feel any better about Freddie?”
“Mm.” That was a non-answer, but I wasn’t sure. I’d thought about him all night and what happened. He’d always been clear about his baggage and issues with Maddie, just as he knew how my reputation hurt me. He’d messed up, owned it, and was willing to fight for us. Was I?
I could picture being with Freddie next year. Starting my own business and coming home to him. Sharing dinners with him, going on trips. He fit into my life, but how many times would baggage enter our relationship?
“Well, this should be interesting.” Daniella arched a brow and jutted her chin toward the back of the small crowd. I followed her gaze and sucked in a breath.
Freddie was there.
So was Michael, Van Helsing, Cal Holt…ten hockey players were here. Freddie waved at me with a silly grin.
He wore athletic shorts and a gray shirt, looking way too good. He walked toward me, almost tripping on his own feet. “Cami, hi.”
“Hey?” I eyed him, unable to stop my laugh. “Are you… attending the session?”
“Yes.” He nodded so fast, looking quite proud of himself. “I got Michael and some hockey guys too. Here, I have their funds.” He shoved money at me as the tips of his ears reddened.
“Freddie, you don’t have to do this. I know you aren’t coordinated.”
“I’m not. Not at all. I’ll embarrass myself, but that’s the point.” He gulped. “I told you I don’t dance, but I didn’t do a lot of things before you. I want to be this guy, the one to try new things with you. So, I’m doing Zumba.”
“Alright.” I smiled at him, but his face softened. “What?”
“You look beautiful. It’s really hard to not kiss you right now. I should…get back there. Yes.” He ducked his head, a blush tinging his cheeks.
It was so goddamn cute and reminded me why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place.
Daniella looped her arm around mine and leaned toward me. “Any guy going through Zumba deserves a second chance.”
“I was leaning that way already.”
“Good. He seems like a great guy who just made a dumb choice. Tell me, if he does move to Chicago, would you really do long distance?”
“Yes.” I stared at Freddie as he chatted with Michael. “I would. I love him.”
She let out a little holler as everyone faced us. Daniella set the stereo up and introduced us, but I kept my eyes on Freddie. He stared back at me with a goofy grin and bright red cheeks.
“Okay y’all, we’re going to practice some moves for those beginners. Shuffle left, shuffle right, back step, back step. Hop, hop, hop. Hips, hips, arms, arms, pop, snap, thrust. Alright?” I modeled the moves twice. “From the top!”
Watching the crowd of thirty was hilarious. So many missed beats and flailing limbs. Daniella and I each wore huge smiles as we went through the motions again. The third time, we blasted the music.
It was a crisp fall morning, but sweat still beaded my forehead as we danced. I couldn’t stop watching Freddie and how he moved so badly. He was three beats behind everyone and ran into Michael five times. For whatever reason, it was the sexiest thing to see him trying something so far outside of his comfort zone for me. His gaze met mine, and he grinned so big, my stomach burst into butterflies.
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the class to be over. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him I loved him too and that we’d be okay. That I could visit him up in the city on weekends when there wasn’t a game. We’d make it work and be happy in our own way. I could dance, and he could explore the city. He understood me so well and I him—we made each other stronger and better.
The rest of the class went by slow, but when we finished, everyone clapped and cheered.
“Yo, that was sick!” Van Helsing, the hockey captain said. He walked up to Daniella and fist bumped her. “Nice work, D.”
She rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”
“I mean it. This is cool.” Van Helsing high-fived me too. “Simpson.”
I nodded, curious at how his gaze kept moving toward Daniella. He stepped closer to her. “We still sharing a ride home for the holidays?”
“Seems like my only choice.” She met my eyes and shrugged. “His sister and I were best friends in high school. I’ve known Van a long time.”
“Don’t say it like a bad thing, D.”
“It is a bad thing.” She elbowed him. “I know too much.”
“Nah.” He pulled her in for a half-hug, making her yelp.
“You’re sweaty and gross. Stop!”
I had a million questions for her, but my attention moved to Freddie. My wonderful, out-of-place, gentle giant who stood with his hands on his hips and sweat dripping down his face. He approached me with hunched shoulders. God, he was so tall, I loved it.
“I can’t believe you went through the class.” My cheeks hurt from smiling. He was so horrible that the memory would bring me joy for weeks after this. “You were terrible.”
“I know. Michael cussed me out twice.” He let out an awkward laugh and swallowed so hard his throat bobbed. “You make it look so easy.”
“I am trained to do this, ya know.”
“Very obvious.” He ran a hand over his hair as his gaze moved from my eyes to my lips, lingering there to the point my skin heated. “Are you doing okay?”
The gentleness to his tone had me moving closer to him. “Better now.”
“Good. Good.” He nodded a
nd matched my step so our feet were an inch apart. “I really hope you got everything you needed from Audrey. I know what she meant to you and how badly it hurt.”
“I did, yeah.” My throat got all weird and clogged with emotion as he reached out a hand, but it never connected with me. It fell against his thigh. “I still can’t believe you came to this class, Freddie.”
“I told you.” He breathed heavy and wiped his glasses on the hem of his shirt. He put them back on his nose. “I’m on my sorry-tour for forgiveness. You want me to dance on a table for you? I will. Dye my hair? Get a piercing? Okay, maybe not that. Well, if that’s what it takes, then yes. Name it. I love—”
“Freddie?” I stood and wrapped my arms around his sweaty neck. He stilled and moved his hands to grip my waist. His hands almost met around my lower back they were so big, and I pressed my chest against him.
“Yeah?” he whispered, his entire body tense.
“I love you too.”
He trembled before dropping his lips to mine and kissing me. His mouth was warm and salty but safe and perfect. My pulse raced as he slid his tongue against mine, tasting like mint. He pulled me tight against his chest, pressing his hand along my spine as he groaned into my mouth. “Thank fucking God,” he said between kisses. He kissed me harder, his teeth clashing against mine in a perfectly messy Freddie way. Like he couldn’t kiss me enough, like he loved me.
I giggled against his mouth, and he cupped my neck, deepening the kiss to the point my thighs clenched. God, he knew how to make me turn into a puddle. I didn’t want to stop, but after some of the guys whistled, I rested a hand on his shoulder and pulled back. “Hell of a kiss, big guy.”
“Yeah.” He blushed, rubbing his thumb over my wet bottom lip. “I missed you, your mouth, your everything. Please tell me we’re together again?”
“Yes.” I grinned against his thumb, and he picked me up, twirling me around and everything. “Oh my God, put me down.”
From the Top (Central State) Page 23
