Rock Me Deeper (Licks Of Leather Book 5)

by Jenna Jacob

  Clearly, she wasn’t going to say more. But a huge part of me ached to know about her life, about the life we’d once planned to share until I fucked everything up and left her behind.

  “Okay, we’re at Wilshire and Doheny. Where do I go from here?” Ross asked.

  Her tone of voice and expression softened exponentially as she directed the drummer down a couple of side streets.

  “There,” Caris pointed. “The dark gray clapboard with the white picket fence.”

  Cocking my head, I sized up the house. It looked nice enough, but there wasn’t a single light on, inside or out. As Ross swung the SUV into the driveway, I noticed a piece of paper taped to the front door.

  “Thanks for saving me from that madman and dropping me off. It was nice to meet you guys even if the circumstances weren’t ideal,” Caris said to the others. “I hope the restart of your tour goes without any more wrecks.”

  “You know about that?”

  “The whole world knows,” she said with a tight smile.

  It only matters that you know, angel.

  “Maybe, but that means you’ve been keeping tabs on me all these years.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself. I simply like the way Burk sings.”

  Ouch. Her insult stung, but I knew when she quickly looked away that Caris was lying her ass off.

  “Why, thank you, darlin’,” Burk preened.

  After Ross put the SUV in park, Caris reached down, gripped the door handle, and paused. An awkward pall we hadn’t shared when we were young, filled the air, and made me itch. My heart was screaming, Don’t let her go, but I had no right to try and make her stay.

  She tucked the sheet around her tighter, opened the door, and sent me a weak smile. “Take care, Syd.”

  Before I could stop her, Caris bolted off my lap, closed the door behind her, and scurried up the porch steps.

  Burk leaned forward and arched his brows. “Time to start talking, Syd.”

  “Later,” I mumbled, turning my focus back on Caris.

  My brain was spooling with a hundred reasons I should let her go, but none of them seemed important enough. I watched her pluck the note off the door, step out from under the porch, and tilt the paper toward the streetlight. As she read the note, Caris’s eyes grew wide and she paled. When she looked up at our SUV, a look of panic skipped over her face.

  “Something’s wrong.” I launched out of the SUV and sprinted toward her. “Caris?”

  “She left me. Monica packed my bags, took them with her, and flew back home.” A fat tear slid down her cheek. Caris angrily swiped it away, then wadded up the note and threw it on the ground. She raised her head toward the night sky and sucked in a deep breath, then let out a furious growl. “Why the fuck does everyone always leave me?”

  I knew she’d probably kick me in the balls, but I was willing to take the risk and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m not leaving you this time, angel.”

  Caris didn’t try and fight me. Instead she buried her face against my chest and quietly sobbed. Panic spiked. In all the years we’d spent together as kids, she’d never thrown in the towel or surrendered. Maybe she’d simply reached the end of her rope tonight. Or maybe Zattman had actually broken her spirit. Either way, I intended to do what I should have done long ago—take her with me.

  Chapter 2

  Caris

  I tried to stop the tears but couldn’t pull myself together.

  After all this time, after all I’d endured for Syd, his protective embrace, familiar spicy scent, and the decadent heat of his body spilled warmth and light into the empty, dark recesses of my soul. Seeing him, touching him, and hearing his voice for the first time in forever felt like coming home.

  Though I knew, by tomorrow, I’d be a distant memory to Syd again, it didn’t keep me from savoring these few precious moments of bittersweet perfection.

  Once upon a time, we’d been partners in crime. But Syd was a rock god now with millions of fans and, no doubt, millions of willing women falling at his feet.

  I was nothing but an ugly reminder of the seedy life he’d left behind.

  I hadn’t meant enough to him when we were young—which damn near killed me. The fact that he’d never once tried to find me proved I meant even less to him now.

  That sad reality didn’t stop me from branding these few blissful moments with Syd to all the others locked inside my heart. I had no clue how much time I had left with him. I only knew it was going to be depressingly miniscule.

  While Syd was off trotting the globe, performing for his fans, I’d be home, waiting tables at Café Trudy, making ends meet off my measly tips, and grieving all his broken promises and my own unachievable dreams.

  “Let’s go, angel. You’re coming with me.”

  “I-I can’t, Syd,” I sniffed. “I need to get back home.”

  “Well, you can’t get there tonight, not dressed in a sheet.”

  “I can’t very well go traipsing into some swanky hotel like this, either.”

  “I’m going to fix that,” he assured with conviction.

  He wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs, then gently led me back to the SUV. Sliding in first, he lifted me onto his lap, then cradled my head against his shoulder.

  “Where to now?” Ross asked, as the others peered expectantly at Syd and me.

  “The hotel,” he announced, then jerked his chin at Ozzy. “Caris and Mia look to be about the same size, right?”

  “They do. What do you need?”

  “For you to call Mia and ask her to bring some clothes to the lobby.”

  “Be happy to.” Ozzy sent me a reassuring smile before pulling out his cell phone.

  Though he was talking softly, I heard him tell his girlfriend, Mia—the up-and-coming rock goddess Phoenix—where and how they’d found me. I was beyond grateful they’d rescued me but embarrassed that she was privy to my ordeal. I couldn’t stress over that now; I had a shitload of more pressing problems to deal with, like how to get home without money, clothes, or ID.

  “Are you doing okay?” Syd whispered in my ear. I nodded. “After I get you settled in my suite, I’ll talk to the hotel manager and find a doctor to come—”

  “I’ll take care of that,” Darren interrupted. “You stay with Caris. She doesn’t need to be alone right now.”

  I didn’t but I wasn’t going to confirm his suspicion. I might have broken down in front of Syd, but I didn’t want the others to think me weak.

  “I’ll be fine. I don’t need a doctor.”

  “You do,” Syd challenged. “Some of your wounds look infected.”

  “Bring her to New York with us tomorrow. I know a doctor who’ll check her out and keep his mouth shut,” Ross interjected.

  “New York?” I gasped, jerking upright. “I-I can’t go to New York. I have to get home.”

  “Caris, you’ve just been through a major trauma. Let me take care of you while your mind and body heal,” Syd tried to reason.

  “I don’t have time for that. I have rent and bills to pay.”

  “I’ll cover your—”

  “Don’t.” I held up my hand to cut Syd off. “Don’t even suggest it. I can take care of myself.” He arched his brows. I knew he wanted to call bullshit to my claim since he’d found me naked and tied to that fucker’s bed. “Don’t go there, either. I’d planned to escape. I was just waiting for the opportunity to present itself.”

  Okay, that was a lie, but again, weakness was and always had been the enemy.

  “I’d love to hear how you’d planned to do that…later,” Syd drawled dryly as Ross brought the vehicle to a stop.

  Ozzy dashed out of the SUV and jogged into the lobby. Seconds later, Mia—with her signature purple-streaked blonde hair blowing in the breeze—hurried toward the car. She had some clothes clutched to her chest and Ozzy’s arm protectively slung around her waist.

  As the valet attendant stepped toward the vehicle, Ross climbed out and escorted him away. The door besid
e me swung open. Mia bent down, took one look at me, and wrinkled her face in sympathy and pain. Then like a petite drill sergeant, she ordered all the men out.

  “I’ll wait for you on the sidewalk,” Syd assured before easing me off his lap and onto the empty seat Darren had vacated. As he stepped out, he looked down at Mia. “Her name is Caris. She’s a friend of mine.”

  “From which tour?” Mia quipped sarcastically.

  Syd bristled. “She’s not a groupie. We grew up together. She’s…special.”

  Mia’s judgmental expression melted away. With a sober nod, she cautiously eased onto the seat beside me.

  “Hi,” she said cautiously as if expecting me to bolt out the other door of the vehicle. “My name is—”

  “I know who you are. I’m a huge fan.”

  “I’m honored, but heartbroken you had to cross paths with Zattman.” She glanced at my wrist and sucked in a hiss. “That fucking bastard is—”

  “Pure evil.”

  “He is. I’m just glad you made it out of there alive.”

  “Me, too.” I glanced down at the blood-stained sheet, desperately trying to shove down the memories of his maniacal torture. When I looked up again, Mia’s eyes were brimmed in tears.

  “He got ahold of me, too,” she softly confessed as she lifted a black T-shirt off her lap. “But that information isn’t for public consumption. At least not yet.”

  Before dropping the sheet, I nervously glanced around to see if anyone was watching. To my surprise, the guys were standing with their backs around the vehicle, blocking all the windows with their wide shoulders.

  “They can be rude and obnoxious at times, but when it really matters, they’re gentlemen.” Mia winked.

  Obviously.

  When I unwrapped the sheet from my chest, Mia gasped. A tear slid down her cheek “Oh, honey. That motherfucker really worked you over, didn’t he?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re safe now,” she assured as she gently slid the T-shirt over my head. “The bastard has gotten shitloads more vicious. Taking him down will be the best day of my life. I’ll make sure he pays for what he did to you, to me, and all the other women he’s abused.”

  The strength and conviction in Mia’s voice stoked the fire of my own determination.

  “Is that why the guys broke into his house? To help you find a way to take him down?”

  Mia arched a brow. “Did they tell you they broke in?”

  “Well, no, but…when they found me, they were all wearing ski masks. I’m not a rocket scientist or anything but…”

  The rock diva threw her head back and laughed. “Good point. Yeah, they were there to retrieve some…evidence.”

  “He took pictures of you, too?”

  Mia nodded and gently slid a pair of baggy sweatpants over my torn and bleeding ankles before easing them up my bruised and cut-up legs. “We need to get a doctor to check you over, sugar.”

  “I’ll be fine. After I fly home, I’ll make an appoint—”

  “Oh, my god,” Mia drawled dramatically. “I’ve finally found a soul sister!”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Girl, you’re as hardheaded as I am. Poor Syd, he’s toast. But I can’t wait to see him squirm when you get all up in his face.” She laughed again.

  I simply smiled. I didn’t want to burst her bubble and tell her I wouldn’t be around long enough to get up in his face or make him squirm.

  As Mia bent and slid a pair of tennis shoes on my feet, I bit back a howl of pain and slid the pants over my hips. Nerve endings pulsing in pain, I closed my eyes and sucked in several deep breaths. Though the clothing she’d brought was light and cottony soft, every nerve ending in my body throbbed from the weight of the fabric.

  “Are you ready?” she asked long minutes later. I lifted my chin and nodded. Mia tenderly wrapped her arms around me and gave me a gentle hug. “You’re a survivor, sugar. We both are. But don’t be so headstrong that you don’t get professional help to deal with the mental aftermath. You might not think you need it, but you will. Trust me on this.”

  Her kindness drove a wedge of gratitude blocking my throat. Nodding, I swallowed tightly. “I will.”

  Jack Daniels was a great shrink. He’d gotten me through every other trauma in my life. There was no doubt he’d see me through this one, as well.

  “Good. Let’s get you upstairs. I’ve got some clean pajamas you can wear when you’ve finished a long, hot shower. While you’re doing that, I’ll make sure Syd orders you some food. How’s that sound?”

  “Heavenly. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. Getting away from that sack of shit is easy compared to the tricks your mind will play on you in the days to come.”

  Mia’s warning sent an ominous chill wending through me. She had no idea how proficient I was dealing with the tricks a mind could play. But the less any of them knew about my life the better, especially Syd.

  After Mia and I eased from the SUV, Ross tossed the keys to the valet, while Syd quickly stepped in beside me and wrapped a protective arm around my waist. His touch seared me, made my nipples ache, and made me yearn for things I couldn’t have again.

  While the others circled around us like a human barrier, Mia eased in close and murmured, “Keep your head down until we’re inside the elevator. We don’t know if the paparazzi’s lurking.”

  The possibility of Zattman putting two and two together if he saw me with the rock stars erased the arousing tingles of Syd’s touch. Tucking my chin, I shielded myself beneath a shroud of dark tangled hair. Not only was the paparazzi a concern, I feared my face was as mangled as the rest of my body and didn’t want any hotel worker calling the police.

  Syd cinched me tighter, replacing my troubles with another rush of longing. God, I’d give anything to turn back time to the night we’d met to relive those glorious, dangerous days again. As I was swallowed up in bittersweet memories, we entered the lobby and briskly strode across the shimmering gold and bronze tiled floor. Once inside the elevator, I lifted my head and watched Burk extract a stack of manila envelopes from beneath his shirt.

  “After Sofia and Harmony go to sleep, Ross and I will sort through these tonight.”

  Mia reached for the photos. “No. I’ll go through them.”

  “You will not,” Ozzy barked, yanking them away. “They’ll make you start having nightmares again. I’m not letting you relive the things that cocksucker did to you.”

  Forcing down the bile rising in the back of my throat, I gaped at the stack of envelopes. “Are all those photos of other victims?”

  “We don’t know yet, but we think so.” Darren grimly nodded.

  “I’ll do it,” Syd stated softly. “I’ve seen more horrific shit in my life than you can imagine. I’ll find your photos, Mia.”

  “And mine? Will you find mine, too?” I whispered.

  Syd reared back as if I’d slapped him. The blood drained from his face. His nostrils flared. Then he clenched his teeth so hard the muscles in his neck and jaw twitched. A long second later, he gave me a curt nod.

  “What horrific shit have you seen?” Ross scowled.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Syd replied. His emerald eyes were a smoldering mixture of rage and anguish as he ripped the envelopes from Burk’s hand.

  The lead singer cocked his head and studied Syd intently. “You and I are going to have a long talk real soon, brother.”

  “No. We’re not,” Syd said pinning the lead singer with an icy glare. “I’m going to find Mia’s and Caris’s photos, then we’re going to hand the rest over to Reed and let him do his magic.”

  I didn’t know who Reed was or what role he played in bringing Zattman down, but I made a mental note to ask Syd once we were alone.

  “What if Reed needs all the photos?” Mia asked.

  “He won’t, baby,” Ozzy soothed. “We have enough evidence now to put Zattman away forever.”

  “Hopefully, another inmate will do the
world a favor and shank his sick ass a couple thousand times,” Darren snarled.

  The others mumbled in agreement. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn’t the only one who wished the demented prick dead. When the doors opened, the others held back, allowing Syd to lead me off first.

  Mia sent me a supportive smile. “I’ll bring those pajamas by in a sec.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll contact the hotel manager,” Darren said grimly.

  “I guess that leaves me to call Quinn. We need to update him on what’s happened, without implicating ourselves, of course.” Burk turned toward Syd. “Call me when you’re ready to go through the photos. I’ll come down and help.”

  The man’s tone brooked no argument. Syd didn’t offer any resistance, simply nodded and ushered me down the hall.

  “I take it Burk’s in charge of you guys?”

  Syd chuckled. “No, he’s just bossier than the rest of us.”

  “Bossier than you?” I teased even though I was still hurt and angry with Syd.

  I was tired of the hateful barbs rolling off my tongue. Tired of hosing down my emotions in ice. Tired of trying to guard myself and the feelings he resurrected within me. But mostly I was tired of the uncomfortable awkwardness filling the space between us.

  Oh, I’d spent years dreaming of ways to inflict him with twice the heartache and misery he’d caused me. But it all felt pointless now. Syd’s actions tonight had snuffed out the decade-plus fire and retribution that had been burning in my soul.

  Without asking for anything in return Syd had saved me from Zattman’s house of torture and certain death. Saved me from Monica’s betrayal. Saved me the embarrassment of strolling through the lobby of a five-star hotel in a blood-crusted sheet and offered me safe shelter for the night.

  We’d been inseparable and hopelessly in love when we were young. But time and circumstance had changed us, changed everything between us. Though I’d never been able to erase my time with Syd, I wanted to try to close and lock that door for now. Maybe then we could forge some middle ground for the few hours we had left together. And if I was lucky, when the sun came up, I’d finally be able to put the past behind me, where it belonged.