Joint Venture

by Tey Holden

  As Karen was going downstairs, she heard a door open and smash against the wall, and what appeared to be lightning bolt going down the staircase, Alex flew downstairs, practically skipping three steps at a time and jumping the last four. Karen panicked, thinking that she might have been too harsh on her and ran after her. She stopped when she saw where Alex was headed. She was running towards the ‘thinking tree’ where she knew Addy would be.

  With the years, and because of the many frequent visits and talks under the tree, they had placed a bench under it. Addy liked to sit there to think looking at the distant ocean. She always said she liked it there because some of their most important conversations and decisions had been taken under that tree. She had even agreed with Karen that, in another life, this is where they would meet again. Karen observed the scene from the distance, and saw when Alex dropped to her knees and bent her head against Addy’s lap. She also saw when Addy hugged her, and later when they began to talk. Karen went back into the kitchen poured herself a glass of wine and wiped her tears. She later went out to the patio and sat looking at the only view she ever cared for in life, her wife and her daughter.

  ***

  “Why weren’t you the one who had me? Why did you ask mom to have me and not you? Did you think she’d love me more if I was her own flesh?”

  Addy laughed. “Oh no, Alex. She would have loved you just the same. The Lord knows I would have had you myself if I could have! If only to spare myself from the grief of your mother’s nine months of pregnancy, she was unbearable!”

  Alex smiled. “I can imagine. The big baby having a baby.”

  “Exactly, that’s just how it was! A living hell! You see what happened was that I had an early menopause, and I could no longer have children.” Addy smiled. “Your mom would have loved you just the same, if I had been your biological mother. You would have been something from me, and that would have made you precious to her, just like you are precious to me. You are lucky I was around because even if you made it, thanks to formula milk for the first three months, you wouldn’t have survived your first solid food feeding.” She paused and chuckled. “It seems as if it was just yesterday. It was a mess every time she fed you. I still think that somewhere in the cottage’s kitchen there might be remnants of dried out baby food.” They both chuckled.

  “First, she expected you to open your mouth readily, which you never did. I had to put the little spoon on your lips and pry them open for you to taste it. We were doing just fine, and then she wanted to try again.” She paused to chuckle. “She thought she was doing just fine and was all excited about how you were opening your mouth and letting the food in. When I looked I was horrified, but was too late and the unavoidable happened.” Addy laughed again and Alex smiled. “She didn’t notice that you were not swallowing and that your cheeks were full.” She inflated her cheeks to demonstrate and Alex laughed.

  “Oh no! Did I spit it out?”

  “Now tell me, how could a bright woman like your mom not see that coming? I think she was too excited thinking that it was all going too well. You sprayed your mother with carrots all over her face and hair. Then as she was trying to wipe her face and yours, in the commotion, you were too happy playing in the mess and accidentally pushed the bowl to the floor, creating more of a mess. Everything had carrots! Your mom was so desperate that she started to cry, and when you saw her crying you started to cry also. It was like a scene from a comedy. I told her to take you upstairs to bathe you and I stayed downstairs cleaning the mess. When I went upstairs, she had you in the shower with her and was giving you a lecture on how to eat carrots.” I stayed outside listening to the conversation.”

  “What was I doing? I couldn’t have understood.”

  “Oh, the lecture on carrots went on to how you shouldn’t put the soap in your mouth and not splattering her with water in her eyes, or pulling her hair. I could write books on your mom’s happenings with you.” Addy paused to laugh. “Talking about books, she bought all the books she could find on babies and read them all and still she couldn’t get her act together. Poor thing!” They were both laughing. Karen was watching from the house. She was delighted to see them talking and laughing. Karen continued to sit on the patio and drink her wine giving them some extra time alone.

  “Your mother was of the opinion that babies shouldn’t be handed out just like that. She thought there should be classes to prepare people for parenthood and testing, to certify people as appropriate parents.” Addy laughed.

  “That sounds like mom, alright. Wouldn’t she have flunked all the tests?”

  “Oh no! She would have passed them all with an A plus!”

  “I don’t get it then.”

  “Your mother was a talking encyclopedia on children. She knew everything. Except that she couldn’t understand that there are things that are not in any book. Everybody is different. No child is like another. You have to go with your instincts and your gut sometimes, and as you know, Ms. one, two, three cannot skip from one to three because we need to have that two!”

  As they laughed, Karen joined them, and sat next to Addy on the bench. Alex was crossed legged on the ground. “What’s all the laughing about?”

  “Mom, you were a disaster raising me!”

  “True. You are alive because of this woman here.” She took Addy’s hand. “Although there were moments when I doubted her too. Do you remember that time when I had to mop the floor after I gave her a bath?” She faced Addy and Addy nodded laughing. “You made a mess while I was bathing you. There was as much water on the floor as in the tub. I wrapped you in a towel and took you outside the bathroom and left you with Addy so that she would finish you up drying and dressing you, and I could go back to mop the bathroom floor. When I came back into the room I found Casper and mother battling a sandstorm of baby powder.”

  Alex laughed, and Addy picked up the story. “You took the baby powder in a second that I turned to get your diaper and before I knew it, I had a winter wonderland in front of me. You shook that thing mercilessly, practically emptying the bottle before I could grab it.”

  Karen chuckled, and Addy continued. “You had baby powder even on your eye lashes, and everywhere! We didn’t even know how to get you cleaned up. We were afraid you’d get the stuff in your eyes.”

  “So, what did you do?”

  “Your mom put her hands under your arm pits and lifted you up and held you, she told me to turn on the shower. I got the shower ready and since she was already all wet, from your bath, she got in with you dressed and all, and that’s how we got the powder off of you.”

  “Mom! Clothed and all?”

  “I couldn’t risk you rubbing your eyes with your hands and getting all that stuff in them!”

  “Did I cry in the shower?”

  “At first you did, but when you saw me all wet, you started to like it and then laughed. Addy, stood next to the tub and got all wet too and eventually got in the tub also. You were having a ball laughing and playing with the water, and us with you.”

  There was a moment of silence, as Alex looked at them smiling. “I’m really sorry. You guys are awesome parents. I love you both.” She got up to leave but first kissed Addy and then she was going to kiss Karen, but stopped. “I don’t know about you, though.” Karen smiled at the younger image of herself.

  “I may have to take you back on a trial basis.” Alex said raising her eyebrow ‘the Addy way,’ which only made Karen grin more. “What the heck! I’ll take you back. I think you’d pass any test!”

  She kissed a smiling Karen. As Alex left for the house, Karen spoke again. “You did a good job raising that kid, Addy.”

  “We did, Ker. We did.”

  Alex left laughing. She yelled from the distance. “Don’t come home too late! And no making out under the tree! I can see you from the house!”

  They laughed and held hands. Karen brought Addy’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “Green eyes, what a good run we’ve had.”

  Karen turn
ed. “Amazing.” They held each other’s hands and kissed.

  ***

  Later that night, Addy got in bed and, as usual, cuddled to Karen. “I still can’t believe you told her.” Addy rolled her eyes as she spoke.

  “I had to. She’s old enough to know her story. “Don’t worry, I told her I love her first, and then I told her that it was you who wanted her.”

  “Was she hurt?”

  “She was so shocked. I didn’t stop to consider her feelings.”

  “You were punishing her with your words.”

  “Yeah, I guess I wanted her to hurt as much as she hurt you.”

  “Ker, you have to remember she’s a kid.”

  “She was disrespectful and no one disrespects you, not even her. Much less her!”

  “Sssh! Don’t get excited.”

  “Are you satisfied with her apology? Did she make amends?”

  “Yes, all is well. She’s my baby.”

  Karen hugged her tight and kissed her. Then they heard the call. It had been a long time since either one had been called in the middle of the night. “M’Addy?”

  Addy immediately sat up in bed, startled. “Yes sweetie?”

  Karen raised her head, in expectation of whatever was going on.

  “Can you come and stay with me for a little while? I can’t sleep.”

  Addy smiled and bit her lip. Karen protested. “I can’t believe it! She’s too old for this crap!”

  “Sssh! I think she’s still hurting.”

  “Why don’t you come over here with us? Come on, I’ll make room for you here on my side of the bed.”

  Karen couldn’t believe it. “That girl is lucky to have you as a mother. I would have given her up for adoption a long time ago!”

  Addy swatted her on the butt and scooted toward the inside of the bed, making room for Alex on her left side. She thought it would be better to keep Alex away from Karen. Karen pretended to have gone back to sleep.

  Alex laid on her side and cuddled to Addy like she did when she was a little girl. “It’s been a long time since I’ve held you so close.” Addy hugged her and Alex wiggled in her arms. “Your hair smells all fruity and nice, Little Bit.”

  “M’Addy? Will you ever forget what I said today?” Alex wished she could delete the hurtful words forever.

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “M’Addy! But I didn’t mean it, and I said I was sorry.”

  Karen, although pretending to be asleep, was listening.

  “I know you didn’t mean it, but you can’t ever take back some things. It’s like with trust, once you lose someone’s trust it’s very hard to get it back. It is possible, though, but it’s an uphill battle. It’s also like in a trial, when evidence is not admissible and the witness has already said it and the judge instructs the jury not to take that testimony into consideration. Since they already heard it, I’ve never understood how they could not consider it.”

  “What must I do to redeem myself in your heart?”

  “That is very simple, you must be my daughter.”

  “But I am already.”

  “Well, we certainly have a piece of paper that says so, but I guess that because of what you said, you are going to have to convince me through your actions, that you indeed want to be my daughter.”

  Karen smiled thinking that Addy was a genius, and that she would now make Alex give her an unconditional allegiance for life. Karen pinched Addy’s butt lightly, and Addy swatted her hand away making Karen smile. Of course, in the dark and under the covers, Alex was unaware of this activity.

  “I do, M’Addy. I’ve always wanted to be like you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I’ve always thought you were funny, and made friends with everyone, and knew about everything, and what you didn’t know, you’d find out immediately. I remember you saying that you didn’t want to be thought of as ignorant, and that true ignorance was not lack of knowledge, but rather not doing anything about not knowing.”

  “I can’t believe you remember all of that.”

  Karen was also surprised. Addy had been a very effective teacher. Karen blew air directly onto Addy’s neck and Addy moved her hand back and pinched Karen’s thigh. Karen made a muffled sound.

  “Is Mommy snoring?” Alex seemed surprised.

  “Maybe, she does sometimes.” Karen hated when Addy suggested that she snored. She pinched her butt again, and Addy put her hand behind her and pinched her again. This time the pinch elicited a higher pitched sound.

  Alex raised her head to check on her. “I don’t know how you can sleep with her making those sounds. I think she should have a sleep study done. Maybe she has sleep apnea.” Addy smiled thinking that Alex had no idea the sounds she could make Karen make.

  Alex went back to her retelling. “I remember lots of things, M’Addy. Sometimes it’s as if I was hearing you saying things. I always remember everything you say.”

  Karen thought, that she could say the same thing. She remembered years back, before they got together when she went to see JP in New York and he had introduced her to a redhead, funny she couldn’t even remember the woman’s name. She only remembered the woman undressing and then the naked woman with a Brazilian wax job inviting her to bed and how, having all of that in front of her, all she could think of were the sweet chocolate brown eyes that made her melt and her voice, her adorable sweet voice. Karen tightened the grip on the arm she had over Addy and came closer to kiss her neck. Addy got goose bumps and swatted her thigh gently and then rubbed it. Karen took her hand and held it to her thigh.

  “Well, I guess that is a good sign that you think of me as your mom. I mean if you remember what I’ve taught you over the years, that is indeed a good sign.”

  Her statement made Alex happy and she wiggled in her arms.

  “Sweetie pie, why don’t you go to sleep? It’s kind of late already. “

  “Okay.”

  Addy thought she would go back to her bedroom, but she didn’t.

  “I love you, M’Addy”

  “I love you too, sweetheart.”

  Karen again kissed her neck, and Addy took her hand and kissed it. Then they all went to sleep.

  ***

  It was in her sophomore year that Alex and Brooke met. The news had spread around school that there was a weird new girl in school. Immediately after, the grapevine declared her to be gay, and the girl was ostracized. Isolating her was apparently not enough for the conforming crowd, they also had to make fun of her. They made fun of the way she dressed, the way she walked, the way she talked, and in short everything about her became a joke.

  Alex was everyone’s friend and with the years everyone had come to accept the fact that she had two mothers. It was a matter of no consequence. It was so acceptable that it was a forgotten matter. So, when they began to make fun of Brooke in front of Alex, they didn’t realize that they had touched on a subject, which affected her intimately.

  Alex, at first, said nothing to stop the conversations. She had learned that everyone was entitled to their opinion and learned to respect different points of views. As long as things didn’t get hurtful, she thought people could speak their minds. However, she never liked to make fun, or ridicule people. She also didn’t see anything wrong with the new girl, and began to be annoyed at the way people were talking about her.

  “You guys have to stop this.” She clearly told her friends. They looked at her in wonderment. Alex was very popular and no one wanted to be on her bad side. “Judging and making fun of people is not right. You have to let people be however they are. I’m not going to be part of this. If you want to criticize her, don’t do it in front of me. I don’t like it when you do.” Alex got up and left. Everyone became serious and looked at each other. “Guys, we forgot that her moms are lesbians.” One of her friends observed.

  “Ugh!” One of the girls commented. “I still don’t get that woman love woman stuff.” No one said anything else for fear of falling in disgrace with
Alex, or with any of the others. At that age, everything was about being like your peers and needing acceptance.

  At lunchtime that day, Alex sat at the table where Brooke was sitting. “What are you doing?” Brooke asked.

  “Sitting to eat,” Alex replied.

  “Are you crazy sitting here?” Brooke looked around.

  “No, why? Is someone sitting here? I didn’t see anyone.”

  “Haven’t you heard? I’m the school lesbo. If you sit there everyone will think you are a lesbian too, or that you are my girlfriend, or something, and your life will be ruined.”

  “But I’m not your girlfriend. How could I be? You’ve only been here a week.”

  “The truth doesn’t matter. It’s what everyone thinks that matters.”

  “That doesn’t make it real, and besides, I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

  “What? What do you want? Don’t tell me you are gay?”

  “I’m not. I just don’t go by what people think. I think that I am who I am, and if they don’t like it, it’s their problem.”

  “Who the hell are you? Why are you here? Are you looking to have a lesbian experience?”

  “Nope, all I want is to sit here and have my lunch.”

  “Are you out of your mind?”

  “I thought I had already clarified that! No, I’m not out of my mind. I would just like to eat. Do you mind?”

  “Okay, come clean. Is this some sort of dare someone put you up to? To sit with the lesbo, and make her drool over you? The pretty blonde tempting the lesbo?”

  “Look, if it’s going to make you feel better. The fact that you are a lesbian doesn’t bother me at all. So, just shut up and eat, okay? And no, no one’s dared me to do anything. I’m not that stupid, or shallow. And no, I’m not looking for the lesbian experience. You are not my type, anyway. And don’t call me pretty blonde, or I’ll have to beat some sense into you.”