Fooled & Enlightened: The Englishman's Scottish Wife (Love's Second Chance Book 16)

by Bree Wolf

  I understand that now.

  Please, give us a chance. I’d like to come visit you. Do you have lots of trees in Scotland? Back home, at Huntington House, I have the perfect climbing tree. Perhaps one day we can climb it together.

  Collin

  When he’d read the final word, Nathan slowly lowered the parchment and inhaled a deep breath. As simple as his son’s thoughts were, they still held a profound truth and Nathan doubted he could have phrased it any better himself.

  Family was forever. It could never be lost, but found at any time and any place by a simple offer and its acceptance.

  Beside him, Niall didn’t move. He sat stock-still, his hands clamped together and his gaze directed down at the churning waves rolling against the cliff face.

  “I came here,” Nathan said gently, “because I realised that I’d never once spoken to you. Not a single word. And that was wrong.” He folded up the letter and placed it between them. “I love your mother. I’ve always loved her, and I wish for nothing more but to see us all as a family. But,” he swallowed and his gaze rose to look upon Niall, “we will not move forward without your blessing. You have my word on that.”

  For a long moment, the boy remained still. Then his head rose, and he turned sharp eyes on Nathan. “If it wasna for ye, my father would still be alive today,” Niall grumbled, pain more than anger darkening his voice. “Then we’d be a family.”

  Nathan nodded. “I know how you feel,” he said gently. “I lost my parents when I was about your age, when I wasn’t yet ready to be without them.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. Never had he spoken of this to anyone. “All of a sudden they were gone, and yet, the world kept turning and life moved on. A part of me thought that there had to be some kind of hole left behind, that their absence needed to have some effect.” He shook his head. “But they were simply…gone. Everything else remained the same.”

  A slight quiver came to Niall’s jaw, and he dropped his gaze.

  “I remember how my father and I used to ice-skate in winter,” Nathan continued, his tone gentle and wistful, willing himself to feel the pain and sadness instead of retreating to anger and disappointment. “We would stay out for hours until we were frozen stiff. But it was so much fun, that I simply didn’t want to go inside. One winter, I wouldn’t listen to my father’s warning and rushed onto the ice. But it had grown too thin and I broke through.”

  The breath lodged in Niall’s throat, and his head rose ever so slightly.

  “My father jumped in after me,” Nathan continued his story, surprised to feel a smile tug on his lips at the memory of his father. “He pulled me out. He saved me…but then he got sick and I was afraid he’d die, knowing it would have been my fault.” His father’s image before his inner eye was a bit blurred from lack of use, but Nathan could still remember the laughter that had always stood in his eyes. Why on earth had he allowed so much time to pass without remembering his parents? Maggie’s loss had indeed made him fearful, terrified of good things turning bad.

  But no longer.

  “Did he?” Niall asked quietly, his gaze still focused on the distant horizon.

  “Not then,” Nathan replied, encouraged that the boy would speak to him. “We still had a few more years together before I lost him.” He sighed and then turned slightly, looking at Niall in a more obvious manner. “Losing my parents destroyed me,” Nathan told him honestly, “and the only reason I found happiness again was your mother. She was there my whole life. She was the one who held my hand, who soothed my tears, who told me that all would be well. She was my friend, my family. She was everything to me.” Nathan drew in a slow breath. “And then I lost her as well.”

  Niall’s shoulders slumped and his head once more dropped, his eyes now closed, utter sadness clinging to his features. “She never wanted this life, did she?”

  Finally the moment had come that Nathan had been waiting for. The moment that revealed what lay at the root of Niall’s anger for it was nothing other than fear. Fear that his mother did not love him. Fear that she regretted that life had led her to him. Fear that he’d spend the rest of his life, knowing she’d rather be anywhere else but here.

  Turning to look toward the tree line where Maggie stood with her arms around his mount’s neck, her eyes fearful as she watched them, Nathan sought her gaze. Then he lifted a hand and waved her over.

  For a second, Maggie tensed, but then she began moving toward them.

  “Niall,” Nathan said gently, turning back to the boy by his side, “I know that you think your mother regrets the turn her life has taken, and a part of her does.” Niall’s gaze rose to meet his. “As do I. A part of me wishes I could have spent these past ten years with her. I do.” Niall’s jaw began to quiver. “It is the truth, and yet, neither one of us would ever want for life to have taken a different path. Neither one of us would ever choose a life without our children. Neither one of us regrets walking the path that led us to Collin, to Blair and to you.”

  Tears gathered in Niall’s green eyes, and he pulled his legs up onto the ledge. His arms came around them in a tight embrace, and he rested his chin on his knees.

  “What happened happened,” Nathan told him with a sideways glance at Maggie, who was no more than a few steps away from them, the look on her face a mix of caution and careful hope. “We can never have everything, not in one life, but we can try our best to find happiness with the people we share it with.” He looked deep into Niall’s eyes. “Your mother loves you, and she would give me up in a heartbeat if it came down to a choice between me and you.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  A Son’s Permission

  Maggie’s feet stilled as she heard Nathan’s words. She knew them to be true, but they shocked her nonetheless. It felt strange and wrong in some way to rate the love one had for the people in one’s life, and yet, she’d always known that nothing in this world would ever match a parent’s love for their child.

  “Do ye truly believe that?” Niall asked Nathan with a sniffle, his lower lip trembling. “She always wanted ye.”

  “I know it to be true,” Nathan told her son in a strong and clear voice, leaving no room for doubt.

  Maggie strode forward, then sank to her knees by her son’s side. “He’s right.”

  Niall looked up in shock at finding her next to him. He jerked around, and his balance on the cliff’s edge teetered for a second. However, Maggie’s hands instantly closed around his shoulders, pulling him into her arms. “I love ye, mo chridhe. I always have and I always will. Never ever doubt that.” Her gaze rose to meet Nathan’s as he pushed to his feet. He cast her a warm smile and then moved away, giving them time alone.

  “I dunna wanna leave here,” Niall whispered, fear echoing in his voice as he clutched her arms more tightly. “He didna come to bring ye back?”

  Maggie sighed. “No, he didna. He came because he missed me.” Even though she felt a slight cringe go through her son, Maggie knew that only the truth would set them on the right path. “He came to speak to ye.”

  Niall drew in a slow breath. “We can stay in Scotland?”

  Maggie hugged her son tighter. “Of course, we can, mo chridhe. I could never leave here.” And she would never rip her children from their home.

  Never.

  No matter what.

  Niall sank deeper into her embrace then and, for a long time, mother and son sat up on the cliff, arms wrapped around the other, savouring the moment that had been a long time coming. “Why did ye come here?” Maggie asked as Niall had calmed, his hands still locked with hers.

  “To remember Father,” her son whispered. “‘Tis the last place I know he was. But I wasna here. I didna see him.” He looked up at her. “I tried to picture how he saved Moira, how he fought the wolf.” He sniffled. “I miss him.”

  Maggie nodded. “Aye, I miss him, too.”

  For a heartbeat or two, Niall’s gaze remained on hers as though to see if she truly meant what she said. Then he sighe
d. “Do ye…do ye think I’ll forget him some day?” His round green eyes met hers, a desperate plea in them.

  Hugging him closer, Maggie smiled at him. “Nay, never. He was yer father, and he always will be. Ye’ll never forget him, and neither will I. He’s a part of our family and nothing will ever change that. I promise ye.”

  Smiling at her, Niall snuggled deeper into her arms, and Maggie could have sat up there on the cliff top forever, her son in her arms and her eyes gazing at the soft glow of the sun as it slowly sank lower toward the horizon. It was a perfect moment. It rang with hope and possibilities, and Maggie knew that going to England and confronting her past had been a wise decision.

  It had brought her heartache, aye. But it had also led her back to her son, and Maggie would have walked through hell and back to see Niall returned to her arms. It had been worth it. He was worth it; that had never been in doubt.

  A soft whinny drew her attention and, as Maggie turned to look over her shoulder, she saw Cormag, Finn and Garrett dismount. They exchanged a careful look with one another before striding closer and toward Nathan. He greeted them kindly, and Cormag gave him a short nod. No one in the world would have considered this small gesture a sign of acceptance; however, Maggie knew the stoic leader of their clan. He rarely spoke much, but his eyes were as sharp as a hawk’s. It would seem it had taken him no more than a second to assess what had happened up here on the cliff top, and he’d deemed it right to acknowledge Nathan’s role in Niall’s recovery.

  Maggie was more than reluctant to release her almost claw-like hold on her son. Still, the light was slowly fading and they needed to return to Seann Dachaigh Tower as soon as possible. And so she settled Niall on his pony and was rather surprised when Garrett stepped up to her and said, “The Englishman asked me if ye could ride back with me.” His brows quirked upward in question.

  For a second, Maggie was confused herself, but then she noticed the way Niall’s gaze moved to Nathan and how Nathan nodded to her son in return. Aye, something had happened between the two of them. It seemed they’d reached some kind of understanding. If only she knew what it was.

  The way back was long and arduous, and Maggie began to worry when she saw Niall’s eyes close more and more often. His hands gripped the pony’s mane tightly, but his head occasionally began to roll back as exhaustion overwhelmed him. When he almost slid off his pony, Finn pulled him up into the saddle in front of him, holding him securely in his arms as Niall’s pony trotted after them.

  Darkness had fallen by the time they crossed under the large front gate and entered the fortress’s courtyard. Dismounting, the men handed the animals to stable hands, who led them away. Niall yawned loudly, stretching as his feet reclaimed solid ground.

  Putting an arm around his shoulders, Maggie pulled her son into her arms, delighting in the soft smile he cast up at her. “‘Tis off to bed with ye,” she whispered, ruffling his wild, auburn hair. “Ye look asleep on yer feet, mo chridhe.”

  Then she noticed Nathan speaking to Cormag in low tones. Maggie couldn’t hear what was being said, but after a moment, their clan’s taciturn leader nodded in acquiescence to something Nathan had said. A grateful smile touched Nathan’s lips before his eyes met hers. Then he started toward her.

  Maggie held her breath, her hands tensing on her son’s shoulders. What would happen now? What had Nathan and Niall said to one another on that cliff top?

  Running a hand through his hair, Nathan cast Niall a quick smile before looking up at her. “Your laird has granted me a guest chamber for the night,” he told her, his gaze guarded and the smile on his face looking strained. “I’ll be off in the morning.”

  Maggie’s heart stopped. “Ye’re leaving?”

  Nathan’s jaw clenched despite the smile on his face, and she could see that he was trying to be brave. For her. For Niall. For himself. “Yes, I need to return to London.” His blue gaze held hers, and she felt the sudden need to sink into his arms and weep. Why was it that they always had to say goodbye to one another?

  “Will ye…?” Maggie swallowed the sob that rose in her throat. “Will ye come back?” Oh, it was wrong of her to ask that, but she couldn’t help herself!

  Nathan inhaled a slow breath, his eyes never leaving hers. She could see the longing in the intensity of his gaze, the wish to remain where he was, but she knew they could not go against Niall’s wishes. It wouldn’t be right. Was that what the two of them had talked about up on the cliff top?

  “Ye truly love her, do ye not?” Niall suddenly asked, his wide green eyes looking at Nathan.

  Maggie blinked, and Nathan lowered his gaze to Niall. “I do, yes.” He inhaled a slow breath. “But I will not break my promise. I gave you my word and I will keep it.”

  Niall nodded, his gaze thoughtful before he turned to look at her. “I want ye to be happy, Mamma,” he whispered with tears in his eyes.

  Maggie pulled him into her arms, once more delighting in the way his little arms closed around her as well. “I know, mo chridhe. I know. I want ye to be happy as well.”

  Looking up, Niall smiled at her. Then he stepped out of her embrace and turned to Nathan. “I willna give ye my blessing to marry her,” he said, and Maggie felt her breath lodge in her throat. “But I will give ye my permission to court her.”

  Nathan stilled and, for a second, he stared at Niall as though in shock before his gaze darted to meet hers. Then a shuddering breath made it past his lips and his gaze dropped back to Niall’s. “I thank you, Niall, and I commend you on your decision.” A soft smile quirked up his lips. “One can never be too careful where one’s family’s welfare is concerned. You’re cautious, and that’s wise. I thank you for this chance to prove myself, and I promise I will do everything within my power to make your mother the happiest woman on earth.” His smile deepened then, and Maggie felt her hands rise and fall as they rested on Niall’s shoulders, his breath deep and at peace. “But I will need your help,” Nathan told her son. “She needs us all to be happy.”

  Like Cormag, Niall nodded in acquiescence and Maggie could have wept with joy. She saw the same urge to dance with happiness in Nathan’s eyes, the need to be close, to hug and celebrate, to kiss and forget the world around them.

  But they did not.

  Niall had given them a chance, and they would not ruin it. They would take things slow for all their sakes. Get to know one another. Share in each other’s lives. And perhaps one day, Niall would give them their blessing.

  And so they bid each other good night and retired to their respective chambers. Apart, but still together, knowing that tomorrow would not witness yet another goodbye, but be the beginning of something new.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  A Son’s Blessing

  Autumn was well on its way, and Maggie once again found herself busy preparing for the harvest festival. The great hall needed to be decorated and she was relieved to have Claudia, Emma and Moira to help her. Lately, the other three had been strangely occupied, always busy with some errand or other, that Maggie could not help but feel as though they were excluding her from something. Still, today, everything was as it should be and the four women chatted happily as they sat together, using straw, thread and all kinds of fruits and nuts to create centre pieces for the rows upon rows of tables within the large chamber. Smaller, lighter creations were even hung on the chandeliers dangling from the tall ceiling. A warm fire burnt in the hearth, and the air outside whispered of the coming frost.

  “When will Nathan return?” Emma asked as she sliced into a pumpkin.

  “Any day now,” Maggie replied, feeling a deep restlessness to have him back here with them. Every time he left, she felt a mild echo of their previous separation and had to remind herself that life was different now.

  “How are things with his son?” Claudia enquired, glancing to where her own sons were playing with Kenna and Blair.

  Maggie smiled. “His last letter sounded very promising. He seems utterly taken with his son
and−”

  “As he should be,” Moira interjected, bouncing her own son Liam on her knee. The boy was not yet two years old, his curls the same raven-black as Cormag’s and his eyes shining in the same sky-blue as Moira’s.

  “−and he says he’s beginning to feel more and more like a father,” Maggie finished with a smile at mother and son. “‘Tis all still new to him.”

  “But he’s doing a fine job with Blair and Niall,” Emma threw in, and a twinkle came to her eyes. “Niall seems quite changed.”

  Maggie nodded with a longing sigh as she remembered the many moments she had witnessed between Nathan and her children. While Blair had never hidden her affection for Nathan, quickly adopting him as her own, Niall had been cautious. Still, Maggie had often seen a rather yearning look in his eyes whenever he’d watched Nathan carry Blair on his shoulders or chase her across a meadow.

  Indeed, these days, nothing remained of the bitter and jaded man Maggie had met in London only a few months ago. As though the past ten years had never been, Nathan had found a way back to his youthful self, the man he’d once been and thought lost for good.

  And now, finally, he was courting her.

  With Niall’s blessing.

  Every day, Nathan found a way to leave a flower on her doorstep or her windowsill. Sometimes he even presented it to her himself, a wide grin on his face and a deeply alluring look in his blue eyes. More than once, Maggie had felt close to swooning into his arms, but Nathan had been rather adamant about keeping his promise to Niall. He was respectful, charming and kind, but he kept his distance, never once crossing the invisible line that Niall had drawn around her.

  It was a matter of trust, and Maggie could see every time Nathan addressed her son that he wished for it dearly. It was as though he himself still held doubts and regrets and Niall’s verdict would erase them all…if he could manage to win her son’s heart.