Alpha Hero: The Complete Series

by Hope Ford

  I can’t stop myself from checking my watch again. April disappeared into the bathroom almost five minutes ago.

  I know I should walk away. I know that she doesn’t want my help or heck, maybe she doesn’t want to even look at me. I’m sure just the sight of me makes her think of Allen, her deceased husband, the man who I’ve worked with at the fire station for the last five years.

  I still can’t get it off my mind what she said. She and Allen had been talking divorce for a few weeks before he died. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. He never said anything. But really, anyone could have guessed by the way he was always hitting on other women that there was something going on. There were times I just had to get up and leave the bar I was at with him. It was obvious none of the guys were comfortable with it. We all knew he was married. Hell, April is a good woman and I hate to speak ill of the dead, but she didn’t deserve the treatment he gave her.

  I look at my watch again. Ten minutes since she ran in there. I look around and when I don’t see any women coming this way, I knock on the door, open it and call her name.

  “April? You okay?” I swing the door open and she’s sitting on a chair in the corner. Looking around the room, I can’t help but compare the ladies’ room to the men’s. They are nothing alike.

  She’s sitting with her head in her hands. My first instinct is to walk over to her, pick her up, and then hold her in my lap, soothing her and making her forget everything that’s happened in the last month and a half. Her husband dying, moving out of her home and back into her mother’s. If anyone deserves a break, she does.

  I squat down in front of her and brush her hair from her face. “April, talk to me, honey.”

  She looks up at me then, the first time she’s even acknowledged that I walked into the bathroom. Her blue eyes are pooled in tears and my heart breaks just looking at her. “I’m a horrible person, Terry.”

  Her words catch me off guard. Staring into her eyes, wanting her to know I’m sincere, I tell her, “I can honestly tell you that I know you’re not a horrible person.”

  She shakes her head side to side. “You don’t know, you, uh, really don’t know.”

  She stands up and walks around me and stands at the sink, her hands locked on the counter and she’s staring back at her reflection in the mirror. She’s looking at herself in disgust.

  I walk up behind her and our eyes meet. “Then explain it to me. Make me understand.”

  She starts to talk, but then closes her mouth. “You’re the last person I should be saying this to. You’re his friend, his ‘brother.’”

  She sniffs and I hand her a tissue from beside the chair she just left. I watch as she wipes her nose. “You can talk to me. I won’t judge you. I won’t think bad of you. I’m sure whatever you’re feeling or whatever you think you’ve done is not that bad.”

  She turns to face me and leans back against the counter. She’s looking straight at me, and I know whatever she’s about to say is torturing her. I don’t want to think the worst, but I brace myself for what’s coming.

  “We, uh, Allen and I have had problems the last few years. I knew about the drinking--of course I didn’t know he was doing it on fire calls – and I knew about the women. I confronted him many times and he would tell me it would never happen again. We had one last ditch effort to save our marriage around two months ago. I told him it was his last chance. I put everything into that weekend, trying to reignite our relationship. It lasted one weekend and then he was back to his drinking and back to the women. We’d been fighting since. Fighting about the divorce, fighting about the money, God, fighting about everything. When I heard he died, God, I was upset. I still don’t know how to process all of it.” She’s looking at me and I know she’s waiting for a reaction, but I don’t give her one. I stand here silently letting her talk. It’s obvious that she hasn’t had anyone to talk to about this.

  When she doesn’t continue, I tell her, “Go on.”

  She looks down at her hands then. “Well, it’s not like I was happy he died or anything, there’s a part of me that still misses him, but I’m not mourning him like a wife should be.”

  She finishes then and no matter how much I want her to, she doesn’t raise her eyes to mine.

  I reach out and lift her head with my finger on her chin. “And you feel guilty?”

  Her eyes well again and she nods her head.

  I can’t stop myself then. Nothing could stop me. I take her in my arms and hold her tightly against me. This woman has the biggest heart and she’s hurting so bad right now. I couldn’t turn her away even if I wanted to.

  We stand there for I don’t know how long, her generous curves pressed against me. Her closeness makes my thoughts go wayward. If she was anyone else, fuck if I was anyone else and it was another situation, I would make this woman mine. I would never let her hurt like this again.

  When she pulls back, her face is dry, but her cheeks are flushed. I know she’s embarrassed, but she shouldn’t be.

  “You’re not guilty for the way you feel. You said it yourself, you gave him a chance. And yes, he was my friend, April, but no one, especially not you, deserves to be treated like you were. It’s understandable… the way you’re feeling. No one can fault you for it.”

  She nods her head at me, but I can tell by the look on her face she doesn’t think I’m telling her the truth.

  The room is silent while we stare at each other. Then the sound of her stomach rumbling breaks the silence, and we both laugh.

  “How long has it been since you ate?” I ask her.

  2

  April

  I still can’t believe that I let him talk me into leaving Mack and Jane’s engagement party. I should have stayed. I know that Mack is dealing with a lot of guilt over Allen’s death, even though he has nothing to feel guilty for. But still, I feel bad for leaving, even though I know I won’t make it through the night. I think Terry knew that staying would be too much for me, so he went and made an excuse and whisked me away from the party.

  He didn’t even ask me what I wanted to eat. It’s obvious that I don’t want to make any decisions. At this point, I don’t even want to think. I don’t want to worry about what Mack or any of the other firemen are thinking that I’m leaving with Terry. I don’t want to think about anything. I feel like I’m barely existing anymore and I hate it. I know I need to get out of this rut I’m in. I need to turn it around and take control of my life. I take a deep breath and let it out, exhaustion taking over. Yeah, I’ll turn my life around tomorrow, I think.

  He stopped and picked up a pizza and took me to my house – well, to my mom’s house. He and a few of the other guys from the fire department helped me move back into Mom’s a few weeks ago.

  When we get out of his truck, he says, “I hope your mom’s hungry. I got plenty.”

  I open the front door and hold it open for him. “She’s working the night shift tonight, but I’m sure she’ll enjoy a slice for breakfast tomorrow.”

  We go straight to the living room and after I grab a few plates and drinks, we dive into the pizza. I haven’t been hungry lately, but somehow I’m ravenous now. After a slice and a half, I set it down, knowing I’m about to get queasy. I’ve been sick off and on the last few days, but I’m sure it’s from my nerves.

  “You okay?” he asks me as he takes another slice.

  I nod my head. “Yeah, I’m fine. I haven’t had much of an appetite and I don’t want to overdo it.”

  He takes a bite, then sets his plate down on the coffee table and leans back on the couch. Flipping the television on, I try to avoid his stare. I know he’s trying to see what I’m thinking, but damn, if he only knew. I don’t know why he stayed here. I don’t know if he’s worried I’m going to do something stupid or what. We’ve always been friendly with each other, but it’s not his responsibility to watch out for me. I’m about to tell him so when he catches me off guard and asks me about school.

  “How’s school going?
It’s your last year, isn’t it?”

  I shrug my shoulders, and without explaining everything, I tell him, “I’m finishing this semester, then taking a break.”

  I look away then and keep flipping through the channels. I don’t want to tell him about the debt that Allen left behind, or the fact that I had to give up my part-time job to take on a full-time one. I’ve already dumped enough on the guy tonight, I don’t know how much more he can take before he starts running from the place. I started college three years ago, right before I met Allen. He knew that I wanted to be a teacher and seemed to support me in the beginning. But the last year, he was always on me to find a better job and telling me that school was a waste of time. I cringe just thinking about the fights we had about it.

  I look at Terry out of the side of my eye and he’s staring at me. I always liked Terry. He’s one of the good ones. I finally get the nerve to look at him. “Why are you staring at me?”

  He opens his mouth and closes it quickly. Instead of answering me, he turns to watch the TV, and I take my turn in looking at him. His blond hair is long over his forehead. His face is one for magazines and the guys always joked about how they couldn’t find a woman with him around. I can see that. He really is handsome. The tattoo on his forearm reminds me of the night I went with them all to get tattoos. Even then, Allen hit on one of the artists and Terry spent the night talking to me. I won’t lie and say I don’t appreciate him. He’s been good to me, and he didn’t have to be.

  We spend the next hour watching television and talking. He talks about the fire department and we talk about Mack and Jane meeting and getting married. It’s quick, but anyone that’s been around them can see how much in love they are. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous. They really seem to be perfect for each other.

  “What’s that look about?” he asks me. I swear he’s the first man that seems to be really interested in what I’m thinking.

  I turn back to the television. “Nothing. I’m just happy that Mack found Jane. She really loves him.”

  I hear the wistfulness in his voice when he says, “Yeah, they are good together.”

  I look over at him then. I’ve never known him to have a girlfriend. I remember Allen mentioning him going on a date or something, but I don’t remember there being anyone serious. It makes me wonder if he’s wanting to settle down. The way he talks about Mack and Jane makes me think so. I fold my hands together in my lap and lay my head on the back of the couch. I wonder what kind of women he likes. What’s his type? I smooth the shirt I’m wearing and look at my wide thighs and pooched belly. I’m sure the women he dates are thin and beautiful. I stretch the material of my shirt over my legs as I pull them up under me. I look back over at him and his head is resting on the back of the couch. His hooded eyes are on the television. Looking at him, I can’t help but think that he’ll make someone a good husband one day.

  The last thing I remember is closing my eyes and thinking about how my life is going in a completely different direction than I’d dreamed it would.

  3

  April

  I snuggle deeper into the warmth, wanting to bury myself into it. I move my legs, stretching into the heat when a groan wakes me up. Foggily, I open my eyes, and I’m staring at the blurred lines on the television. There’s a steady thump, thump, thump under my head and I raise my head, shifting my body at the same time. The groan happens again, but this time, there’s hands on my ass, squeezing me, pulling me down. I’m lying on top of Terry. I gasp and then close my eyes and mouth quickly, hoping not to wake him up. I open one eye and peek at him through a hooded lid.

  He’s asleep as far as I can tell. I stare up at him, my chin resting on his hard chest. He’s breathing in and out, a steady rhythm that comforts me. I don’t know how we ended up here, but I know it’s going to freak him out. Hell, it’s freaking me out.

  I start to slide off of him, but he grunts this time, holding me still, and he whispers my name. Startled, I look up at him right when he opens his eyes.

  I should move. But I’m hypnotized by the look on his face. The look he’s giving me fills my soul. I can see the heat in his eyes, and now I can feel the hard bulge of his cock pressing against my thigh. I should get up and move away from him, but I can’t. I haven’t felt a closeness like this in quite some time, and the feeling I have right now, of being safe and the fact that he’s attracted to me, is making me crazy and has me thinking all kinds of things I shouldn’t be.

  “Terry?” I ask him and I know he can hear the shiver in my voice. It’s like a loaded question: What are we doing here?… I know we should stop… but I don’t want to.

  The flex of my hips pushes down against his hardness and he moans again. His hands slide up my rear, across my back, over my shoulders and cup my face.

  He says exactly what I’m thinking. “I want this, April. I want you. But I know it’s wrong. I know it’s too soon. You need to tell me. Just say the words and I’ll walk out that door.”

  His heart is thundering underneath me, his nostrils flare and his eyes are wide. It’s like he’s wide awake and not been sleeping for hours.

  I know it’s wrong, but I can’t fight this… I don’t want to.

  I close my eyes, working up the courage to say to him how I feel. “I know it’s wrong. But I don’t have the strength to send you away, Terry. Not tonight. Just give me tonight… then we’ll go back to the way things were.”

  I can tell he doesn’t like the idea. I can tell just by the way his face pinches that he wants to argue with me, but before I can question him about it, he nods his head, leans down, and captures my lips with his.

  I don’t know what I expected, but it isn’t this. His hands cradle my head while he nips at my lips. His tongue strokes the seam, begging for entrance. When I part my lips, his tongue pushes into my mouth and I groan at the contact. He turns his head to the side, gaining better access until he’s devouring me and any thoughts I had of this not being a good idea flee from my mind.

  I can kiss him for hours, but I don’t want to wait. I pull away from him, grabbing his shirt and trying to pull it up over his head. But it’s an impossible feat with me lying on top of him. Getting on my knees, I straddle his body and raise up until only our lower halves are touching. I grind my sex into his hard rod because these horny feelings are almost too much to bear.

  He pulls his shirt up and tosses it to the floor. He reaches for me and pulls my shirt off and then reaches for my bra. I don’t have time to be self-conscious. His gaze is hungry and there’s no stopping him or what he’s after. As soon as my bra falls down my arms, he has my breasts cradled into his hands. I arch my back, pushing into him. When his thumbs graze my hard, pointy nipples, I gasp and push myself further into his hands. He sits up, wraps his lips around my nipple and my whole body burns at the feeling.

  He gives them each attention, moving from one breast to the other, and never before have I felt so cherished.

  In a frenzy, I stand up and remove my pants and underwear until I’m standing over him, naked. The urge to cover myself, to hide the bulge of my stomach is there and I’m about to do so until I look into his eyes. There’s no faking what I see there. He’s looking at me with desire. His gaze goes across my chest, down my stomach and to the very core of my sex. He can probably see my desire dripping down my legs. I kick my feet wider apart, wanting him to see it, wanting him to see what he does to me.

  His hand goes down to his jean-covered cock and he adjusts himself. “Fuck, honey, you’re perfection.”

  I smile at him, because his words are perfection. They soothe me and give me the confidence to do what I want to do.

  I trail my finger across his hard nipple down to his belly button and down his hairy happy trail. I flick the button on his jeans and slowly pull down his zipper. He’s holding his breath, and it feels like his body is vibrating under my touch.

  I slide my hands to pull down his jeans, but I guess I’m not doing it fast enough be
cause he grabs on to them and pulls his pants and underwear down in one fast swoop.

  Once they’re off and he’s kicked them to the floor, he reaches for me, pulling me down on top of him. With our bodies pressed together, his cock is seated between my thighs. I want to taste him; I want to make him as crazy as I feel right now.

  I try to slide down his body, but he grasps my elbows, stopping me. He shakes his head. “No way, honey. I already feel like I’m going to burst. I have to get inside you.”

  The smile forms on my face before I even consider stopping it. He sounds serious. The look on his face convinces me that this – me specifically – is what he wants, what he has to have right now.

  I spread my legs and move across him, his cock sliding across my wet folds. His mouth opens and a guttural groan fills the air.

  “I can’t wait. I have to have you.”

  He grips his hard, angry cock in his hand and strokes it twice. I lift up, opening for him, wanting him inside me more than I want my next breath.

  When the bulb of his cock enters me, I tighten on him and slowly lower my body, then raise up, then back down again, coating his cock with my juices. Only when I’ve completely impaled myself on him do I release the breath I was holding.

  Once we’re joined, and I look where our bodies are connected does it hits me, exactly what we’re doing and I can’t stop the feeling that this is wrong. I lift my head, meeting his eyes.

  He cups my jaw and gives me a knowing look. “It’s okay, April. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to get what you want.”

  His words hit me because it’s the same thing I’ve been telling myself for several months. Any time I started to feel bad for wanting a divorce, or the choices I’m making, I would tell myself that I deserve to be happy too.

  It hits me. This man knows me, and it may only be for one night, but I’m not going to walk away from this. Not tonight. Tomorrow, we will go back to normal, but tonight, it’s my turn for happiness.