I didn’t know what that meant exactly.
“We’ll hang out soon. Now, you should go get ready. I need to head home and do the same.”
“And then we can talk about a puppy!” Joshua threw his hands up into the air.
“Joshua Bristol,” Dakota snapped, even though there wasn’t much anger in her voice.
I held back a wince. “Probably not the best thing to say in the morning before your mother has her coffee. And you shouldn’t have mentioned it in front of another person.”
“I was just trying,” Joshua said, a twinkle in his eye.
“Yeah, and you crashed and burned.”
“Fine, no puppy. Ever.” He let out a put-upon sigh before running to the back of the house, presumably to get ready for his day.
I held back a laugh and shook my head. “I’m not going to encourage him,” I said, and Dakota just ran her hands over her face.
“Macon, about last night—”
“No,” I cut in, taking a couple of steps forward.
I checked over my shoulder to make sure that Joshua wasn’t around, and then I slowly lowered my lips to hers, holding her chin with my thumb and forefinger as I did.
It was a bare brush of lips, a mere intake of breath, and then I stepped back.
“We’re going to talk. You and me. We just fell asleep last night, like normal people do. Like friends. But that kiss in the park? And what I feel right now? I don’t think it’s only friends.”
“I don’t know what I want, Macon,” she said honestly.
“Neither do I. I already said before that I wasn’t going to hurt either of you. I’m not taking that back. So, let’s figure this out.”
“Macon,” she whispered.
“Don’t. Let’s call it a good morning. I am going to be late for work if I don’t leave. And I know you have some babysitter issues to deal with.”
“Oh, God,” she said into her hands. “I know Constance’s parents called last night before we fell asleep, but I still don’t know what I’m going to do. She’ll need time to heal, and I’m so happy she’s going to be okay, but I don’t have either of my normal babysitters anymore.”
“You know Myra is taking care of it.”
“Oh, right. How could I have forgotten Myra?”
“We’re both a little discombobulated this morning.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Myra said she’d be here soon.” I looked down at my phone and cursed. “Actually, she should be here any minute. And while I don’t want to be here when she shows up, you know Joshua is going to mention it. So no use keeping anything a secret.”
“I wasn’t planning to keep it a secret, especially since the interrogation wouldn’t be worth it.” Her eyes widened, and she shook her head before I could speak. “Not that you’re not worth it. I don’t know. I need coffee. And I can’t think. You should go so I can think.”
“I can do that. But we’re going to talk.”
“Okay. I guess so. I’m so confused.”
“Go get ready. Myra will help out for the day. And I’m always here if you need me.”
“I know you are, Macon. And I think that might be the problem.”
And on that note, I walked away, knowing if I stayed, we’d say something we’d likely regret because we weren’t ready. I knew she needed some space. And hell, so did I.
Being with Dakota would be like setting up for a ready-made family. I didn’t know if I was prepared for that. I liked Dakota, had been falling for her for a while. If I took the next step, it wouldn’t just be her and me in the relationship. Joshua would be part of it, but also our friends and family. It wasn’t as easy as a single date or our need and desire.
It was so much more.
And that was why we needed a minute.
And yet, all I could think about was how good she felt in my arms. She tasted like sweet sin, and I wanted more.
It probably wasn’t smart for me to dwell on that.
But I didn’t care.
* * *
I made it home and showered quickly and was only ten minutes late for work. My admin gave me a look but didn’t say anything. I was never late, was usually early, so I was grateful that they didn’t hound me because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say.
“Oh, you’re here,” Jeremy said when I got back to our office area.
“I am. Sorry. Long night.”
He studied my face for a moment before looking down at my hands. “You didn’t fight last night?” he said.
“No, I was out with Dakota.”
“Finally.” Jeremy grinned. “I won’t ask for details because we have to work, but…finally.”
“It’s not like that,” I began, but then knew that might be a lie. It might be precisely that. “We’re just...I don’t know, figuring things out. Though it’s not exactly what you think.”
“Okay,” he said, drawing out the word. “We have a few changes to the schedule this morning, but we should be able to handle it.”
I frowned as I looked down at everything. “What changes?”
“A couple of cancellations and then a few semi-emergencies.”
“What emergencies?” I asked, going through the tablet and our schedule.
“It’s insect season, and it looks like one of the new puppies is having a poor reaction to some ants. The parents were apologetic and nearly crying over the phone because of a rash, so I know it’s not neglectful parenting, it’s just the way things are.”
I nodded, going through my notes for the day. “Okay, I can handle that. You have a procedure soon, right? The Clemson neuter?”
“That’s pretty much my entire day. You get to handle the office visits. I’ll handle the part where I feel bad for those dogs.”
“You just have a sympathetic reaction,” I said, snorting. “But as Bob Barker always said, it controls a population when you take care of this.”
Jeremy winced. “You don’t have to tell me twice. I still feel bad about it.”
“You just feel weird because your wife threatens you with being neutered every time you guys have a little fight.”
“Well, if you’re going to get personal about it,” Jeremy said with a laugh, shaking his head. “By the way, I hope it works out between you and Dakota. I liked her from the moment I saw her, albeit at a distance.”
“You’ve never actually met her,” I added.
“True, but she makes you smile. And growl. And she frustrates you to no end because you have no idea what you feel. It’s like Marni and me. It doesn’t happen often. But when it does, it’s fucking perfect.”
“I don’t know, Jeremy. It’s not that easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile ever is.”
“I hate that saying,” I said.
“I know. That’s why I say it often. Because it’s true.”
“Okay, let’s get ready for the day,” I growled.
“Let’s do that. And then you can tell me exactly how it’s going between you and Dakota.”
“I thought you said you wouldn’t pry,” I added dryly.
“I lied.”
I shook my head as my friend walked away, laughing.
Jeremy was an asshole most of the time. He and Marni had gone through a rough spot about a year ago, and I’d almost thought we would have to close the practice because of it. I hadn’t liked working with him then. He’d made things very difficult.
But now, Jeremy was no longer drinking, and he and Marni had fixed their relationship and even saw a therapist who worked out of the same practice as mine.
They had worked things out and had both apologized to me, and things were going great.
I was happy about that. I had missed the man I’d started this business with, and now we had a practice we loved, and Jeremy was good at what he did. I just needed to figure out my personal life.
And, apparently, decide if Dakota would be part of that.
* * *
I was exhausted by the end of the day. I k
new it was because I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.
I might not have noticed when I passed out with Dakota, but it had been late enough that I knew I didn’t get enough sleep.
I made it home after work, my neck aching, and my phone quiet. Dakota hadn’t even messaged. We sometimes texted, more often than not recently because we were trying this whole friend thing. But I figured I’d scared her away a bit today. Now I would have to figure out what to do about it.
Someone slammed a car door as I got out and headed into my house. I froze, my body breaking out in a cold sweat.
I fisted my hands at my sides, took two deep breaths, and made my way into the house, practically falling to my feet. I pulled out my phone and found my therapist’s number.
“Macon. How can I help?”
“I need to talk.”
“I’m here. I’m listening.”
I didn’t say anything for a while, bile filling my mouth.
Then I spoke, just to find my words. To find a way to breathe and make it through this. Maybe Dakota was right, and this wouldn’t work. Perhaps I would hurt them in the end. I wasn’t together enough to figure out my shit. I didn’t need to involve anyone else.
The idea that I might walk away hurt. Only, I might need to.
Dakota had her own problems to worry about, and I didn’t want to make it worse.
As I looked down at my fisted hands, at the pallor of my skin, I knew I might be dangerous to her life.
Even if neither of us planned on it.
Chapter 9
Dakota
* * *
“I am craving a white mocha with strawberry drizzle,” Pop said from my side as she put her hands on the small of her back and stretched.
My stomach rumbled, and I grinned. “You know, I don’t work with strawberry in coffee often. It doesn’t always work out.”
“You’re right, but I think it could if we make it sweet enough.”
“Just like a raspberry white chocolate mocha?” I asked, my mouth watering.
Pop moaned. “Oh good, now I want that, too.”
“I guess if we add enough sugar, we don’t need to worry about the taste of the coffee?” I asked dryly, and Pop just snorted.
“Oh, yeah, I could see you not caring about the taste of the coffee. That’s so you.”
“You’ve caught me. I think we can make something special, but we’re not going to sell that treat in the large size.”
“The amount of sugar that’ll be in a drink like that? Not very responsible,” Pop said.
“We can always pair it with the strawberry tarts. I’ve been in the mood to play with more pastry.”
“I love this place.”
I paused and looked over at Pop. “I know you do. But thanks for saying it.”
“No, really,” Pop said again. “You never let anything get stale. And not just the food,” she added with a laugh, and I rolled my eyes. “You always have a plan in mind, and you try out new things. Plus, you work with the seasons. You love this place, and it shows.”
“You just made my day. Thank you, honey.”
“Thank me? I think I should be the one thanking you. I get to work for a boss that’s not an asshole, that lets me work on my own time, and allows me to create. I’m not stuck to a corporate menu.”
We both shuddered at the thought but grinned.
“Anyway, how was your night? Have you found someone to replace Nancy and Constance?”
I closed my eyes and groaned. Jason was up front, taking care of any after-lunch-crowd customers. But Pop and I were in the back, getting ready for the next surge of people and whatever we could get done early for the next day.
“No,” I said, sighing. “It’s getting ridiculous at this point. Everyone that I can trust just can’t fit me in. And the process for finding someone new or working with an agency just isn’t going to work.”
“But Myra is helping, right?”
I nodded, guilt filling me at the thought.
“She is. She’s been a lifesaver. Everybody has.”
“Do not feel guilty about that,” Pop snarled.
“How do you know I feel guilty?” I asked, my voice going a little high-pitched.
“I know you,” Pop replied. “You feel guilty over the fact that you need to rely on your friends. Those that offer to help you time after time. People who love you, which you never want to lean on. And now you’re forced into it, and you feel that.”
“I don’t like that you can read me so well,” I said wryly.
“You don’t need to like it. All that matters is that I know all.”
That made me laugh. “Whatever you say, Pop.”
“Well, I am brilliant, so you should listen to what I say.”
“And what are you saying?” I asked, sighing.
“That it’s okay to rely on others. It’s all right to need them just as they do you. Your friends love you. I love you. And I know Jason does, too.”
“Pop,” I said, my eyes stinging.
“No. There’s no crying in baking. Or baseball. Though I think both of those are lies. Regardless, we’re just going to pretend.”
“Pop,” I repeated.
“No, no crying with me. I’m just saying that you are a wonderful boss, a great friend, and you would do anything to help those you care about. So, let them do the same for you.”
“My friends have jobs. They have lives. And I need to find a daycare or something so I can continue to work, to provide. I just—I don’t think I can do it all.”
“And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it?” Pop asked softly.
“Maybe. I hate this. I hate that Constance is sick, and even when she gets back up to full strength, I still don’t have Nancy’s replacement.”
“You need both. We need to find you something else. But until then, Myra works from home most days. Which means, she can handle a lot of it.”
“Have the girls been talking to you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“Perhaps.”
“And did they ask you to talk to me?”
“Maybe.”
“Pop.”
“What? We care about you. We hate that you’re stressed out. And I’ll have you know that a very growly man also came in to ask me to make sure I contact him if you need anything but are too stubborn to say it.”
I froze. “Macon did what?” I snapped.
“Ha. I didn’t even say his name, and you knew who I was talking about.”
I flushed. “Pop.”
“I’m just saying, he seems like a nice guy.”
“He is. But we’re just friends. So, no getting that look on your face.”
“Whatever you say,” she said primly, and I sighed again.
“You are exhausting.” I shook my head.
“I know. But that’s why you love me.”
“No, I think that’s why I tolerate you. There’s a difference.”
She flipped me off, and I rolled my eyes.
“You’re such a jerk,” I mumbled.
“I am. But you’re going to figure this out. You’ll find another babysitter or formulate a new plan. And you have a lot of friends to rely on in the meantime. And many of them own their businesses so they can make it work. Plus, soon, Josh will have a thousand afterschool activities because he’s growing up and very active, which means you won’t have to watch him every hour of every day.”
“You really do not have children, do you?”
“No. I like being the favorite auntie. I have no plans to procreate.”
“Clearly, you do not understand that all those activities mean that someone needs to drive him there. He’s already thinking about soccer and swimming. And peewee football. And karate. And art classes. All of those.”
“Yikes.”
“Yep. And that means money for all those classes, someone to drive him to and from those activities. Someone to make sure that he gets his homework done while he’s doing all those fun new things that he might
not like after a week. And his schoolwork is just going to increase as he gets older. I need to find a way to work this out. Single moms do it all the time.”
“And single moms sometimes have to learn to rely on others,” Pop said softly.
“I am. So much more than I used to.”
“Okay, then. Now, let’s get to making up some recipes for strawberries. My mouth is watering.”
“You’re a dork.” I laughed.
“Hey, um, Dakota?”
I looked over at the man behind us. “What is it, Jason?”
“There’s a guy out front asking for you. But I don’t recognize him. He may be a customer, but he didn’t order anything. He said he wants to see you.”
My hands went clammy, and my mouth turned dry. “What does he look like?”
“A white dude with dark hair and a scowl on his face,” Jason replied with a shrug. “I’m sorry. He just looks very vanilla.”
That could be a thousand people, but it could also be Adam.
I let out a breath and nodded. “Okay, it’s probably just a customer wanting to ask something. Or maybe a vendor. I’ll deal with it.”
Pop gave me a look, and I shook my head before I made my way up to the front.
I knew who it would be as soon as I walked out. “Dakota,” Adam said, his voice gruff as if he had run sandpaper along his throat.
“Adam.” I swallowed hard.
He had gained some muscle since the last time I’d seen him, but he was still slender and looked wiry. He appeared harder than he had before, though. For a man that’d dealt drugs and handled conflict with his fists more often than not, prison seemed to have hardened him even more, at least in subtle ways.
I could see parts of Joshua in his face, and I hated that.
Loathed that my choices had led to this moment.
I hated that he had helped me create the best and most precious thing in my life—Joshua.
“I see you’ve done well for yourself,” Adam said, his eyes on mine.
“There’s a restraining order in place, Adam. You can’t be in here.”
Far From Destined: A Promise Me Novel Page 8
