“I’m just a paying customer. I should be allowed to go wherever the fuck I want.”
Jason was at my back, tension strumming through his body. I didn’t look back at him. I didn’t want Adam’s anger directed at anyone else. No, this was just for me. I needed to keep his focus there and not on any of my staff or my friends, or God help me, my son.
Not our son.
Adam had nothing to do with Joshua. Nothing. And I needed to keep it that way.
“I am the proprietor here. The owner. I have the right to refuse service. And, as it happens, you aren’t a customer. You haven’t ordered anything. You’re loitering. Plus, it’s illegal for you to be this close to me.”
I knew it was wrong to antagonize him, but I needed him to go.
He smirked. I hated the look on his face. It was always followed by pain. Emotional or physical. Either way, it hurt. And it was something I could never forget.
“I just wanted to say I’m not done with you yet.”
“I’m calling the police,” Pop said from behind me, and Adam snorted.
“Whatever the fuck you feel you need to do, go for it. I’m heading out. Don’t worry. But remember, I’m going to take what’s mine. This place? Couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t helped you back in the day.”
Just his mere presence put an oily sheen on the place I had built. I’d be damned if he cast shadows on it any more than he already had. “You have nothing to do with this.”
“I did. I can see you don’t understand that. But I know there’s something that I did have a lot to do with. Something you know is mine. Something you’re hiding from me.”
Chills broke out over my body, but I did my best to ignore him. I had to.
I could not let him find where Joshua was. Joshua was safe at school, and Adam’s name was on the Do Not Let Near list. Sadly, it likely wouldn’t be enough. I tried my best not to hyperventilate, but he just sneered at me, and I knew he saw my fear. It was so hard to hide it.
“I’ll be back. And I look forward to getting to know what I’ve missed.”
He started whistling as he made his way out of my store, the place that was mine and such an integral part of my life. I began to shake, and then Jason was there, holding me, pulling me to the back of the Boulder Bean while Pop was on the phone talking with the police.
“Breathe. Just breathe.” Jason sat me down and helped me put my head between my legs.
I tried to push him away.
“I’m fine.”
“You might be, but I’m sure as fuck not.”
That made me laugh. “Jason. I’m all right.”
“Okay. But first, you’re going to do this to make me feel better, and then we’re going to call your girls. And then we’re going to call Macon.”
I shot my head up. “You are not calling Macon.”
“Why the fuck not?” Pop asked, her phone still in her hand. “The cops are on their way.”
“I’m fine.”
Pop shook her head. “You need to report what happened. And you are going to call Macon.”
“I’m not. Macon isn’t part of this.”
“I think you’re wrong,” Pop said.
I pushed that away, knowing I needed to see my son before anything else. “I need to pick up Joshua.”
“Myra can do it. You need to deal with the cops, and then you’re going to meet Joshua at home. Everything will be fine.”
“Pop, you need to stop trying to run my life.”
“And you need to remember that you’re not alone.”
And with that, she huffed and headed to the front of the store. My hands still shook.
“I don’t need Macon.”
Jason shrugged. “Maybe not. But you do need to breathe. And you need to remember that we’re here for you.”
“I’m fine.”
“I know,” he said, though I wasn’t sure he believed me.
I wasn’t even sure I believed myself.
By the time I made sure everything was set up at the store and dealt with the authorities, I was exhausted and just wanted to see my son.
Myra was at the door when I pulled up, and she held up her hand as soon as I made my way to her. “Joshua knows nothing. He just played with paints, and we did his homework. He’s having a great day, so you can’t go in there and stress him out.”
“Myra. I need to see my son.”
“I know.”
I walked inside but froze when I noticed that Myra wasn’t alone. Nate was there, a scowl on his face as he stared at Myra. I blinked.
“Nate?”
“Didn’t want her here alone, just in case,” Nate said. He came forward, kissed the top of my head, and glanced at Myra. “I’ll head out, but you won’t be alone for long.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, but I didn’t have time to figure it out. Suddenly, I was on my knees, holding Joshua tightly as he chattered on about his day. I did my best to talk to him and act as if nothing was wrong.
“And then they said we’re going to have a class hamster, but some of the moms got upset about it because they didn’t want to have to deal with it. So maybe we’re not going to get a class pet, but I’m just really excited.”
Joshua continued to ramble, and I glanced over to see Nate and Myra whispering fiercely to each other at the door. I looked back at my son.
The hushed voices stopped, and I looked over again, knowing who would be there before I even saw him.
“Macon!” Joshua exclaimed and then ran to him.
Macon picked Joshua up like he weighed nothing and listened as my son repeated his stories about his day. Both Nate and Myra gave me tight nods before heading out, leaving me alone with Macon and Joshua. I had no idea how this had happened. My life was out of control, and I hated it.
Why couldn’t everybody just understand that I needed to control my actions? Instead, everybody just kept making decisions for me.
“Hey, buddy, why don’t you head to your room and start that tower. I’ll head in there in a minute?”
“Okay.” Joshua hugged Macon tightly, squeezed my legs as he ran by, and then headed off to his room.
“Don’t start,” Macon said.
Rage filled me, and I fisted my hands at my sides. “How can I start anything? Everybody’s making all the decisions for me. I don’t even have a say in my own life.”
Macon just shook his head. “We both know that’s not the case.”
“It sure as hell feels like it,” I whispered furiously.
“You’re scared, I get that, but we’re not taking over. You and me? We’re friends. We’re figuring things out. But when Myra called? I came. I’ll always be here if you need me. Even if we don’t figure out what the hell could be between us, I’ll be here for you. And that kid.”
Tears finally sprang to my eyes, and I put my fist over my mouth, choking back a sob.
Macon cursed under his breath and then pulled me close.
I didn’t have long to cry, Joshua could come back into the room at any moment, and I didn’t want him to see me like this. He had to see me strong. I couldn’t be weak.
“I’ve got you,” Macon whispered.
“You shouldn’t have to,” I said.
“I’ve got you,” he repeated.
I closed my eyes, letting everything inside me out for the barest of moments, knowing I shouldn’t rely on him, but that I could.
I would push him away again when I could breathe. But for now, I’d let him hold me. I’d let myself lean on him.
Even if I knew it was a mistake.
Chapter 10
Macon
* * *
I ducked under the first blow but wasn’t fast enough to avoid the second. My jaw ached, fiery pain scorching my skin, but I didn’t have time to focus on it. Instead, I got in two jabs and an uppercut. After the final blow, the man in front of me was down, taking a deep breath as he rose to his hands and knees, his fists on the mat.
He tapped out, and I let
out a breath, knowing if I had taken one more hit, I would have done the same. Jackson and I were equally matched in the ring and usually took turns winning, depending on the day. I maneuvered my equipment and held out my hand, helping the man up.
He took it, spat out his mouthguard, and grinned. “Jesus Christ, you’re getting better, Brady.”
I spat out mine and snorted.
“Either that, or you’re getting worse.”
“Ouch. What a bitch,” Jackson said as he tore off his gloves and ran his hand over his mohawk. “Seriously, though, you’re getting good. You ever think about doing this professionally?”
That made me snort, and I shook my head, both of us going to the side of the ring where our trainers were arguing about something or other. “Not even in the slightest. I don’t know if I’m going to continue doing this at all.” I said the words quietly, but I knew my trainer heard it. He narrowed his eyes at me, but I shrugged. The guy knew I wasn’t in this for the long haul. I was surprised I was still doing it.
If I were honest with myself, I didn’t need the adrenaline or the feeling of being in the ring like I used to. I wasn’t the same man I was, barely healed from the gunshot wound and stepping into the ring before I was ready.
Though what would take its place? Dakota? No, we’d put that firmly to rest with her taking a step back, even if we were both ignoring what was between us. Maybe I didn’t need anything to replace this. I couldn’t fight like this forever, putting my body on the line all the time.
“Well, if you want to do it again, I’m in. You don’t need go full-out as if you’re trying to kill somebody like some of the assholes who walk in here. Maybe you’re trying to kill your demons, but fuck, that’s why we’re all here, right?”
Jackson shook his head, grinned, and then went back to his trainer. Jackson’s husband and wife were both behind the ropes, leaning into each other as they rolled their eyes at their husband. The triad had been an integral part of this ring for a while now, and I liked them. Some guys around here were assholes when it came to the union, but Jackson could fight for himself and those he loved, and hell, so could his lovers.
Bob followed me to my locker, while Jackson and his family went to his. “What’s this I hear about you quitting?” Bob asked casually, though I knew there was nothing casual about the words.
“We both knew I wasn’t going to do this forever,” I said, letting him help me with my wrapped hands.
“Well, you come talk to me before you make that decision. You’re earning big bucks. You could do more.”
“I have a job, Bob. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. But it’s not going to be for that much longer.”
“We’ll see,” he grumbled before he left me to my own devices. I stripped out of my shorts and then headed to the showers, knowing I needed a break.
“I can’t believe you’re fucking doing this,” Nate said from the doorway, and I shrugged. I knew he had followed Bob into the locker room, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Nate held up my towel, and I took it as he threw it at me, the end slapping my face.
I turned off the water and then ran the terrycloth over my head and body, glaring at him. “If you wanted a show, you just needed to ask.”
“I’m not looking at your dick, asshole.”
“Thanks for that. But you didn’t have to stay and watch me fight. I’m not being an idiot.”
Nate scowled. “We’ll agree to disagree on that. I watched the whole thing this time. You’re good. You don’t go all out and fuck with your safety. And Jackson seems like a decent guy even if I wanted to pull him off you at one point. But I hate that you’re doing this at all.”
“I’m fine, Nate. I promise.” I paused, wrapping the towel around my waist. “Did you Uber here? Need a ride home?”
Nate shook his head. “No, haven’t had a headache for a week. I drove.”
“You sure that was a good idea?”
“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you. Mister I’m going to go let someone slam their hands into my head repeatedly and see how many concussions I can get.”
“Nate,” I bit out, cursing at myself for not thinking about why Nate was reacting as he was. The concussion that had ended Nate’s career and had sent him on a new path had scared the shit out of all of us. It was the reason Nate had spells where he didn’t drive for a while.
And I hadn’t even made the connection.
“I only fight people who are smart about what they do. They don’t take chances.”
Nate shook his head. “You’re going to get hurt. And you might be alone when it happens. And because you don’t trust us, your family isn’t going to be here to help you. What the fuck are you doing, Macon?”
I scowled as I put on my clothes, fisting my hands against the lockers after I did so. “I don’t know. I just—it reminds me that I’m here. And it’s stupid. I know I don’t need this, but some part of me thinks I do. That I’ll end up here anyway.”
“I’m going to tell the family,” Nate said. “I haven’t yet because we’ve had other shit to deal with, but I’m going to tell them, Macon. And you need to figure out what you’re going to do. Because if you think I’m upset, what’s going to happen when Arden finds out?”
My gaze shot to his. “She’s going to kill us.”
“No, she’s going to kill you. She might get upset with me for not telling her right away. But she’ll hurt you. So, don’t you fucking dare pretend that this isn’t important.”
“It is. I know. I need to think.”
“Okay. Think. I’m going to head home and have a drink. You need to figure out what the fuck you’re going to do. Because what you’re doing right now? It’s not good.”
“I know,” I said, feeling defeated.
“Do you?” he asked pointedly and then left me alone.
I didn’t even want to be here. I had just shown up because it was almost routine now. And because I needed to think about what I was going to do when it came to Dakota.
Jesus. I had no idea what to do when it came to her.
I stuffed everything into my bag and was near my car when my phone buzzed. I looked down at it and answered right away, my heart in my throat. “Dakota? What’s wrong?”
“Why is that the first thing you ask?”
“Dakota?” I asked again.
“I’ve never called you for something good, have I? Or even texted you for something unrelated to me needing your help.”
“Just talk to me.” I threw my stuff into the back of my car and then got into the driver’s seat, starting the engine. “Do you need me?”
I needed her to need me.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry to call, but I was outside, and I found a cat that looks lethargic and too thin. With four baby kittens.”
I froze before my phone went to Bluetooth, and I started my way to her house. “Are they breathing? How big are they?”
“They’re breathing and chirping like little babies. Macon, they could fit in the palm of my hand. They’re so tiny. I don’t know what to do. Do I move them?”
“Keep them where they are for now. I’m on my way.”
The relief in her voice made me want to give her the world so she knew she could trust me with anything. “Thank you. Joshua already met the kittens and wants to name them. He’s wanted a puppy for so long, but now I think he wants this family. And my God, that’s five cats, Macon. And what if they get sick? What if they don’t make it?”
“Stop borrowing trouble. We’ll figure it out. I’m a vet. It’s what I do.”
I was nearly at her house after she’d hung up before I realized that I still had blood on my knuckles from where I’d cracked the skin. Well. Jesus. She was just going to have to deal with me as I was. Because it wasn’t as if I had the answers she needed, nor was I the man she wanted. I pulled into her driveway, got out of my car, and did my best to run my hands over my jeans.
“Fuck,” I mumbled.
&nbs
p; Dakota opened the front door, her eyes wide, looking a little scared. “They’re meowing and look happy. But I think the mama needs food.”
“I’m here. Let me take a look.” I pulled my medical bag tighter over my shoulder and stepped closer.
Her gaze met mine, and then she narrowed her eyes. “Did you just get back from a fight?”
I froze at the doorstep and swallowed hard. “Yes. If you need me to go, I will.”
“No,” she said with a sigh. “It’s not my right to tell you what to do. As long as you’re safe.”
“As safe as possible,” I replied, hoping it was true.
“Let’s go save those kittens. And my sanity.” And then she turned and walked towards the back yard.
I closed and locked the door behind me and followed her to the back patio where Dakota was now kneeling on the ground next to Joshua, worry on her face.
“Macon, can you help?” Joshua asked, his voice small. There was still excitement there, but he was worried.
Dammit, if we lost even one of these kittens or the mama cat, Joshua wouldn’t handle it well.
Hell, I wouldn’t handle it well.
I knelt beside Dakota, ignoring her scent and heat, as I looked at what was in front of me.
The mama cat looked a little thin and run-down, but I hoped it was just exhaustion. It didn’t look like there was any bleeding or any apparent wounds, but I would have to do a full checkup here and another in the morning at the clinic. The kittens seemed to be about four weeks old, so they were still too young to be away from their mom.
“There were a couple of storms the past two days. Might have forced the mama to move to another location with the babies,” I whispered, nearly mumbling to myself.
“Do you think that’s why she looks so tired? That she’s cold and sick from it?” Dakota asked.
“I’m not sure, but we’re helping her now. Why don’t you get whatever towels you don’t mind losing to kitten claws, and I’ll see what I can do.”
“I can get water, too,” she said.
“Yes, a shallow bowl she can easily use if you have it. I have some cat food in my bag, ironically.” At Dakota’s look, I elaborated. “I was feeding a group of feral cats on my block this morning. They’re fixed but run free. With the storms I mentioned, they came in for food.”
Far From Destined: A Promise Me Novel Page 9
