Far From Destined: A Promise Me Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “I kind of like you talking out loud like this. I didn’t expect it, but I should have. As for the condom, I always keep a few in my bag. Mostly because my roommate in college went on to be an obstetrician, and his mother always used to hand us condoms, making us promise we’d carry them with us at all times. It became a thing.”

  That made me laugh, and then I groaned when he slid his hands over my panties.

  “I’m so fucking happy that I listened.”

  “The woman’s a saint. I should bake her something. I’ll send it to her.”

  “She’d like that. Especially if you tell her why.” He slid a finger inside me, and I groaned.

  “Really?”

  “Oh, yes, bake her a cupcake, send it to her, and tell her thank you for all the condoms.” He slid another finger inside me. “You’re so fucking wet, Dakota.”

  “I swear I’m always wet when you’re around. Even when I pretend I’m not.”

  “You don’t need to pretend with me.”

  “And when this is over?”

  “Don’t. We’re not going to talk about that.” And then he kissed me, slid another finger inside me, and I came.

  I rolled on his hand, shaking, and when his lips moved to my breasts again, drawing out the orgasm, my entire body shook, and I was so glad that I was on the desk for support.

  “Macon, I need you.

  “Oh, thank God,” he gasped and then stood back, toed off his shoes, and undid his pants. His jeans fell to the floor after he pushed them over his very nicely rounded ass, and I blinked when he took off his boxer briefs.

  “Is that a...?”

  He ran his hand over his length, his fingers brushing the piercing at the tip. “My condoms are the good kind, not the cheap brand. They’ll work with my ring. Is this okay with you?”

  I blinked down at the metal and swallowed hard. “I’ve never…does it hurt?” I asked.

  Macon shook his head. “No, it feels fucking good. And it’ll feel good for you, too. I thought about getting a Jacob’s Ladder, but I liked the look of this.”

  His cock was thick, curved ever so slightly, and only looked more lickable with the ring at the end.

  I swallowed hard. “I like the look of it, too.”

  “I’ll take it out if you ever want to go down on me,” he said, and I laughed.

  “Trying to protect my teeth?” I asked, my gaze transfixed on his dick. Seriously, I could not stop looking.

  “Well, a guy has to dream. However, with the way you’re looking at me right now? I’m not going to last very long once I sink into you.”

  “Will you kiss me?” I asked, suddenly feeling like everything was going too fast and yet not fast enough. I was bare before him, and everything felt like it all began and ended right here.

  Macon nodded, and then he kissed me softly, treating me gently as if I were porcelain.

  I hadn’t meant to do this. Having sex in my office on my desk.

  And yet, all I knew was that it felt right. We had been fighting for so long, pushing and pulling at each other, and yet if we had been at home our first time, doing things gently after a date, after I thought about it for too long, it wouldn’t have been the same.

  Our first time being in the moment and full of passion?

  That was what we needed.

  This.

  Because everything else about us was on schedules, and there were barely any surprises except for the ones that hurt.

  When he pulled away and slid the condom over his length, I licked my lips and then reached out, putting my hand on his chest again.

  “Are you sure?” I whispered.

  He froze, his cock right at my entrance. “I think that’s my line.”

  “Macon. I want you. I’m just terrified of what’s going to happen afterward.”

  His whole body shook, but he leaned down and captured my lips softly. “I’m never going to hurt you. You and me? We’ll figure out what comes later. However, I can walk away right now if you need me to.”

  “Please don’t. Just...just know that I want this, but we also need to go slow.”

  “Slow, I can do.” And then he was inside me, filling me. And I ached. I wrapped my legs around him, met his gaze. We both rocked, our bodies sweat-slick, and it felt like a moment.

  I could feel him inside me, his piercing touching me at the exact place I needed him to. I wasn’t going to last long, just as he said he wouldn’t. But right then, it wasn’t about the heat or the caresses or the spontaneity. It was about him and me.

  And this moment.

  When we moved, and both of us came, my eyes were on his, my mouth parted. All I could think about was him.

  I hadn’t expected Macon.

  I had actively pushed him away.

  And I had been wrong.

  Oh, so wrong.

  Chapter 14

  Macon

  * * *

  Somehow, we found a routine. One where I’d become part of the household, even though I knew I shouldn’t be. I wasn’t pushing myself away precisely. Far from it. But I knew that I was a guest in Dakota and Joshua’s home. And yet, we were finding our normal.

  It had been a week, and there had been two more notes. Two messages that nobody could trace to Adam, though we were all sure they were from him. It was only the fact that we didn’t know where he lived that my brothers and I hadn’t found him and taken care of things ourselves. Because we were following the law, even though it wasn’t helping us. I hated that the thought even ran through my mind, but the system didn’t always work the way it should.

  And Dakota knew that more than most. I hated the idea that she was scared and could be hurt by this man. And that there was nothing I could do for her.

  “Mama Cat is washing the babies.”

  I looked down at Joshua, who was bouncing in front of me. I smiled. I pulled myself out of my thoughts, knowing that I didn’t need to think about the future beyond taking care of those in front of me just yet.

  I was moving on, finding my place. I wasn’t fighting anymore. I wasn’t hiding. I was living. I would do anything to make sure that Joshua and Dakota were safe.

  “Really?” I asked, kneeling in front of him.

  I hated how big I was compared to Joshua, that I hovered. I towered over the kid, so I was constantly kneeling down by him.

  “Well, she’s bathing Wendy and Darling. Hook and Tink are fighting over in the corner.”

  That made me smile. We had finally decided that calling them babies one, two, three, and four wasn’t working out. So, after watching Peter Pan, we had decided to name the babies after the characters.

  However, Dakota had said no to naming them Peter or Pan because she’d always had a problem with that kidnapping boy who wouldn’t grow up. I figured it had to do more with Adam than anything, but I had agreed. The new Hooks these days were usually all dashing in leather with eyeliner and a suave, debonair attitude, so I figured that’s why she went with Hook. Plus, Tink was a pretty good name for the little runt of the crew.

  I had a feeling that once we found Adam and figured out the next phase of our plan, I was going to end up with five cats at my home, something I hadn’t been planning on. But I didn’t mind.

  I was an animal person, after all, and who better to have a clowder than a vet?

  “I need to go check on them and make sure they’re doing okay. Want to join me?”

  “Uh-huh,” Joshua answered.

  “And then I bet you we need to look at your homework before bed.”

  “We still have dinner,” Joshua complained.

  “Sure, but you’re going to want to play with the kittens all night before your bath time, and I assume that means your homework needs to be done.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be the fun one,” Joshua said, rolling his eyes.

  “I am the fun one,” I argued, taken aback.

  “No, I think Nate’s the fun one.”

  I held back a groan. “Do I want to know what h
e’s doing with you when I’m not here?” I asked, a little leery.

  “He’s teaching me how to make fart noises with my arm.”

  “Who do you think taught him that?” I asked, shaking my head as I stood up.

  “I don’t know if I want to know the answers to these questions,” Dakota said, her hands on her hips. “We’ve been home for like five minutes, and already, we’re discussing farts?” She laughed.

  I looked at her then and felt like I was home. I was sleeping in the guestroom. Although both of us had wanted to sneak into each other’s rooms, we had been careful not to. Because if we did, that meant we would be touching each other, making far too many noises when Joshua was only a couple of rooms down.

  Though after a week, we might be ready for that. I had plans, and if that meant keeping us very, very quiet tonight, we might just do it.

  Her eyes darkened as she looked at me. I had a feeling she knew where my mind had gone.

  “Go check out the babies, and then come do your homework. I know you still have one more worksheet to go over that Miss Myra didn’t get a chance to help you with.”

  “It was a lot of homework today. Four whole worksheets,” he said, holding up four little fingers.

  “Four?” I mock gasped.

  “Four.”

  “Just like the number of kittens in there.”

  “I know how to count. I’m not a baby.” He rolled his eyes, looking so much like his mother before he skipped over to where the kittens were.

  They were getting a little rambunctious, crawling over everything, and while my house was a bit more animal-proof, Dakota’s wasn’t. I’d soon have to take them back to my place, and I didn’t know exactly how that would work.

  “Thanks for working with him. Tonight is homemade lasagna but defrosted from my freezer, as well as salad. And he needs to make sure that he eats his greens, or he’s just going to glutton up on pasta like I want to and not get a single veggie.”

  I looked over to make sure Joshua wasn’t watching and then kissed her softly. “My mom used to hide veggies in the sauce. Carrots and squash and the like. So we didn’t notice.”

  Dakota’s eyes widened, and she shushed me. “Don’t say that. He’ll know.”

  I laughed and then kissed her again.

  “Macon.”

  “He’s seen me kiss you before.”

  “True, but we need to be circumspect.”

  We were both being careful. Too careful. We barely kissed, hardly touched, and pointedly didn’t discuss where we were in our relationship. Especially considering that I had practically moved in, we’d had sex once, and had only been on two fake dates. Yet suddenly, it felt like we were a family.

  There were reasons we weren’t discussing our relationship, and fear of the unknown was the main one. Because if we discussed it, then somehow it was real, and then we’d have to deal with the ramifications of that.

  “I’ll go help him with his worksheet, check on the kittens, and then we’ll be ready for dinner.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” she said, and I looked at her face, frowning.

  “What is it?”

  “This feels so easy, and I don’t know how I feel about it.”

  I nodded, grimacing. “My thoughts are going down that same path, so let’s not talk about it right now,” I replied quickly.

  “Oh, good. We’ll just sit in denial and pretend like nothing’s happened. Sounds like a great plan.”

  I kissed her gently on the lips and then narrowed my eyes. “For this exact moment, we can do that. But we’re going to talk, Dakota.”

  “I know. Soon. One day.”

  And then she scurried off and went to make dinner. I didn’t blame her.

  I was the one who’d been thinking that I didn’t want to talk because some things would get real. And then I’d just put it on the table like that?

  I was seriously losing my mind.

  We took the kittens back into their area, and I knew I would have to figure out how to keep them all in one place soon. Mama Cat was already taking over the rest of the house, and the kittens were following. However, Dakota wouldn’t be happy if they started using her furniture as scratching posts more than they already were.

  “Okay, Joshua. Help me clean up the litter box, and then we’ll wash our hands and get to that worksheet.”

  “Or we could just not do our homework,” Joshua said.

  “No can do. I already did mine, and I have more after you’ve gone to bed. If I have to do mine, you have to do yours.”

  Joshua’s eyes widened. “But you’re an adult. You have homework?”

  “Yes, that’s the sad secret that they never tell you. You have homework even when you’re an adult and have a job.”

  “But it’s horrible.”

  “Not all the time. Once you find what you’re good at and what you like, sometimes, the homework doesn’t feel so bad. It just feels like you’re prepping so you can like what you do even more later.”

  “Maybe. I still don’t like it.”

  “Let’s see your worksheet. Maybe I’ll agree with you.”

  We finished with the cats, washed our hands, and then went back to the kitchen table to work on homework.

  Dakota hummed as she cooked, working on her own paperwork at the same time as I got up to set the table with Joshua after we finished his worksheets.

  We felt like a family as if we did this every day. I should feel scared, as if it had all come on too fast. But the fact that it felt right?

  That scared me more than anything.

  Joshua ate all of his lasagna and most of his salad, and I did my best not to mention that I knew there were extra veggies in the sauce. I was full by the time we were done, and did dishes while Dakota bathed Joshua and got him ready for bed.

  I checked in on the cats, made sure everybody was at least in some semblance of where they were supposed to be in that part of the house, and then went to say goodnight to the little boy that had captured my damn heart.

  Dakota read him a story while I stood in the doorway, and it felt right. I’d almost died before, had thought that that would be the end of everything. And I realized I hadn’t lived enough. I’d worked so hard on my career, at keeping my little sister safe, that I hadn’t enjoyed my own life.

  And now I wanted it. I wanted this. I was going to fight for it. Even if that took a lot of convincing when it came to Dakota.

  Joshua dropped off quickly, and Dakota and I tiptoed out, turning off the light as we did. The door snicked closed, and I followed Dakota back to her bedroom.

  “He’s out like a light.”

  “I’m pretty tired myself,” I said.

  “Oh. Should I check on the cats?” she asked, her hands fidgeting in front of her.

  I shook my head. “I did earlier. They have the run of the back of the house, and I’ll check on them in a bit. We closed up the rest of the house, and the detective hasn’t called, so we’re in for the night.”

  “I wish we could get an update on Adam.”

  “There hasn’t been a note in two days, and the detective isn’t very forthcoming with any helpful information.”

  “That’s been the gist of it. He’s never liked me.”

  I held back a snarl. “He’s an asshole.”

  “I know, and I’m trying to stay calm for Joshua’s sake. But inside, I’m screaming, and ranting, and raging.”

  “I’m right there with you.”

  She looked at me then and licked her lips. “You are, aren’t you? It’s so weird, it feels like you’ve always been here. And it’s terrifying.”

  I moved forward and brushed my knuckles down her cheek. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “It’s been so hard to sleep with you so close to me yet not close enough.” She blushed, the heat of her skin warming my fingers. “I can’t believe I said that out loud.”

  “It’s taken everything within me not to creep over here and have my way with you, but I wanted to mak
e sure you were ready. And I didn’t know when you would be.”

  “I think Joshua is passed out, his door’s closed, and if you close mine, I’m ready.”

  “We’ll have to be very careful. Very quiet. Any loud sound, and he’ll likely wake up.”

  “You’re the one who shouted my name as you came,” she teased.

  “Excuse me, you did it first.”

  “I can be quiet if you can.”

  And then I closed the door, locking it.

  “We’ll unlock it after. In case he has a bad dream.”

  I nodded. “After.” And then I was on her. I couldn’t wait. I wanted this to be slow, soft, sweet. Romantic. But it wasn’t going to be. It would be hard and fast and needy. And when she tugged at my shirt, nearly ripping it off my body, I knew she needed this, too. She pulled my shirt over my head, and I did the same with hers.

  We practically tripped over one another until we were on the bed, naked, me hovering over her as I played with her breasts, and she wiggled out of her pants.

  “I talked to Myra, and we found condoms for you.”

  I froze, looking down at her. “You talked to Myra about my dick?” I asked, flushing.

  “I needed to make sure I had the right condoms in my bedside table. And Myra was here, so it just came up.”

  I blinked, trying to process. “Oh my God. Do the rest of the girls know I have my dick pierced?”

  “I’m not going to lie to you.”

  I burst out laughing, and she put her hand over my mouth. My eyes widened.

  “Don’t. He’s going to hear you.”

  “I can’t believe you told her,” I mumbled against her lips.

  “Paris was the one who helped find the condoms,” she whispered.

  Mortification rolled over me even as my dick twitched at the thought of being so close to Dakota. “Well, that’s it, I’m never going to be able to face the girls again.”

  “If it helps, they were delighted to hear about it. Surprised, but intrigued.”

  “For the love of God, if you tell me that any of my brothers have their dicks pierced, I am walking right out that door and never looking back.”