The Great Ex-Scape

by Jo Watson

  I inhaled sharply as a wave of pleasure vibrated through me from head to toe. So intense and heady that I felt drunk on the pleasure.

  What was happening? I wanted to turn around so badly. I wanted his hands on the front of me, my breasts, my face, my . . .

  And as quickly as it started, it stopped. I felt him get up. I heard his footsteps on the floor and then heard the door. I looked up just as he closed the door and walked out of the room.

  I sat up in bed and stared after him. What the hell had just happened?

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  I was ready. I looked at myself in the mirror. The pretty pink dress that I’d worn to the engagement party and the high heels looked different with my hair and make-up like this. I’d found some red lipstick in my bag and put it on. I’d also given myself a very dark smoky eye. My hair was down, tumbling over my shoulders, and I looked good. I did still have it. I just hadn’t realized that in a while. Alex had brought a razor and I’d managed to even myself out. I took a deep breath and walked out my room, heading down the long corridor towards the reception where, yes, as always, he was waiting for me.

  “Wow.” He stood up and stared at me as I walked in, my heels clicking loudly on the marble floor.

  I spun around for him slowly, careful not to fall off my heels. “I clean up well,” I joked.

  “Yeah. You do.” He was staring at me. Eyes sweeping up and down, looking at me as if he’d never seen me before. As if this was the first time he was looking at me. I froze and I let him look. I liked the way it felt. My body responded, the places where his hands had been earlier seemed to wake up and twitch and tingle. I exhaled slowly and then started walking up to him.

  “Shall we?” I stopped in front of him and looked straight in his eyes. I could almost see myself reflected in them they were so silvery. He didn’t say a word. He just nodded and we walked out together.

  Half an hour later we were seated at a bar at the nightclub. The club was an assault on all my senses. Strobing lights, the loud repetitive sounds of bassy house music, the throngs of hot, sweating scantily clothed people who all looked at least five to ten years younger than us. And to make matters worse, things between Alex and me felt strange. We hadn’t spoken in the taxi here, and we were hardly speaking now. No one had mentioned what had happened in the room and I was starting to wonder if maybe I’d imagined it.

  “So . . .” I finally had to break this enduring silence. “Now what?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been off the market longer than you have, I’m hoping to take your lead on this.”

  “My lead?” I sipped my drink (more like slurped it). “God, if you’re thinking of following me on this one, we’ll be here all night,” I said after another long slurp.

  Alex shrugged. “I’ve never gone out to a place looking for sex before.”

  “Me neither,” I confessed. “I mean, there have been times where I’ve gone out hoping that that could potentially be where the evening went, but I’ve also never done this.”

  Alex nodded, and I could see him faltering. If he backed out of this, I would too, and I would be relieved.

  “NO! No!” he suddenly said. “We made a promise to get through this whole list.” He held his hand up and wiggled his ring finger, green ribbon firmly in place.

  I nodded slowly, disappointed that he’d suddenly pulled himself together. “We did,” I said softly. We sat in silence for a while longer, and although we sat right next to each other on the barstools, I could sense a massive elephant sitting between us.

  I looked at Alex. He was sipping his drink and looking down at his shoes. For someone who’d come looking for sex, I didn’t think he would find it down there. He looked up slowly and our eyes met again. I tried to think of something to say, but the elephant seemed to be holding my tongue.

  “Okay.” Alex sat up a little more confidentially this time. “Okay!” he repeated.

  “Okay?” I asked.

  “We can do this,” he said. “We can do this.” He said it again, a little slower this time, as if trying to convince himself.

  I nodded. “Okay. Shall we do it then?”

  “Yes. Cool.” He put his drink down on the counter and turned his attention back to the people in front of us. “What about her?” he asked, pointing at someone across the floor.

  “Eeeww, no!” I shook my head. “I don’t want you to catch a dreaded disease.”

  “Not her then.” Alex scanned the dance floor some more. I did the same thing. But this was so bizarre. We were sitting here choosing people to potentially sleep with, and honestly, I had no desire whatsoever to sleep with any one of them. And I didn’t want Alex to either . . . But I played along. I had to.

  “What about him, for me?” I asked, pointing at a man at the other end of the bar.

  “What?” Alex almost shouted. “For you?” He shook his head. “Not good enough.”

  “Really? I think he’s quite hot, though?”

  “No. Definitely not.” Alex turned my face away from him and forced me to look somewhere else. “Over my dead body.” He sounded rather firm.

  “Fine,” I conceded and continued to scan the room. “Him?” I pointed at another guy sitting alone at a table.

  Alex tilted his head to the side. “He looks like a serial killer.”

  I threw my hands in the air. “If you’re going to disapprove of every one, how am I going to do this?”

  Alex looked around the club. “But they’re all so . . . so . . .”

  “So what?” I asked, tapping my fingers on the bar counter.

  “Not good enough for you.” Alex’s eyes met mine and something shot through me.

  “How do you know that?” I asked.

  “Because I know you and . . . look at them.” Alex waved his hand from left to right.

  “We are in a nightclub. This is not exactly the kind of place one comes to when looking for a quality Prince Charming. Besides, isn’t that kind of the point?”

  Alex looked at me again and sighed. The colors from the flashing lights lit up his gray eyes that just seemed to be acting as mirrors now. “Fine. That one in the other corner looks somewhat okay.” He gestured and I looked. I took another sip of my drink and stood up. I was going to do this. I was going to walk over to him and say “hi”.

  I looked at Alex, hoping he might stop me. But he didn’t. So I turned and started a very, very slow walk across the club. Down the steps onto the dance floor, across the dance floor, past some tables, past another bar and then . . . I stopped. What was I thinking? I couldn’t fucking do this. This wasn’t me. I turned around and was just about to walk back when I saw Alex . . .

  He wasn’t alone anymore. My stomach tightened. That hadn’t taken long. I hadn’t been gone for two minutes and he was already laughing and drinking with a hot brunette. I watched them for a while. She put her hand on his shoulder and then giggled.

  “Pppsht!” I tsked loudly. She flicked her hair and then leaned forward; I’m sure aware that her dress gaped in the front. Bitch!

  Well, now I had to do it!

  I wasn’t not going to have sex tonight if Alex was! I turned back around and walked to the man in the corner.

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  One drink. Two drinks. Some laughter. Some hand-touching. Another drink. More laughter—mostly his. A hair flip. Another drink. Another drink.

  His name was George. He lived here. He was single. Twenty-seven. Good-looking. And I was trying really hard to flirt and like him. But an hour in, I just wasn’t feeling it. At some point I happened to look over my shoulder, to see what Alex was doing and . . . he was kissing her!

  My mouth fell open. This couldn’t be happening. I was not going to let this happen. Alex getting lucky, and me not. I turned back to George, looked down at his lips and then just went for it. I smashed my lips into his and kissed him. He tasted like brandy and mint and the combination was making my stomach churn.

  I kissed him with one eye open a
s I watched Alex and the tarty brunette get more acquainted. It was revolting, she was basically eating his face!

  And then Alex started walking over to us. I stopped kissing George as Alex appeared.

  “Hey,” I said to him. Tart-a-lot was now draped across him like a cheap feather boa.

  “Hey.” He sounded somewhat awkward. “I think we’re going to head back to the hotel, will you be okay here—”

  “I think we’ll come too.” I jumped up. “Right, George?” I looked over at George who seemed confused for a moment or two and then shrugged.

  “Sure, sounds good.”

  I arrived at my room with the guy that I was now meant to have sex with. Alex was also there with Alessandreeeeee (eeeee eee e eeee). That was her name, by the way. She was French and oh God, she was awful. And it wasn’t just her name that was rubbing me up the wrong way with its too many vowel sounds, it was absolutely everything about her. I don’t think I’ve ever taken such an instant dislike to someone before as I had to this woman. We all stopped at my door and stood there in complete silence, until I broke it.

  “Well, this is me,” I said awkwardly, opening the door to my hotel room and looking over at Alex. I was waiting for him to say something, I just didn’t exactly know what. “This is me,” I said again.

  Alex nodded. “Indeed it is. Number twelve,” he said, looking at me as if he wanted me to say something. This was confirmed when he raised a brow in query.

  “Mmmmm?” I asked, rising my brow back at him.

  “What?” he asked back.

  “Huh?” I replied, looking at him pointedly.

  Alex started nodding his head. “Nothing. All good.”

  “You sure?” I continued to press him.

  This time he shook his head. “Yup.” But he continued to shake his head. “Everything is dandy.”

  “Dandy?” Alessandreeeeee suddenly giggled. “You Englishmen are très cute.” She kissed his cheek and Alex widened his eyes at me. I quickly looked away.

  “We better be getting inside then,” I said.

  “Unless . . .” Alex started speaking and then paused.

  “Unless, what?” I asked quickly.

  “We could all go for another drink first, I mean . . . if you . . . uh—” Alex said.

  “I’ve already had a drink,” Alessandreeeeee said coolly. I hated her. This trashy French temptress that was hanging all over Alex like a pair of crotchless panties on a washing line.

  “I’m okay, thanks,” George said.

  “Okay, then.” Alex looked over at me. “You heard them.” He smiled at me. It was a large, broad toothy grin that seemed more like the kind a court jester might give.

  “Coooooool.” I really extended that word. “I guess we better be going inside then.” I stumbled over the words awkwardly, my mouth feeling drier by the second.

  “Sure. Us too,” Alex said. Alessandreeeeee sighed and tapped her impatient high-heeled foot. I wondered if it would be rude to step on her little pink toes?

  “Good!” I said, and then did something fairly cringeworthy and horrific. I shot Alex two thumbs-ups.

  “Yes. Great!” Alex shot me a thumbs-up too and I turned and started walking into my room, George hot on my heels.

  “So, see you at breakfast,” I heard Alex say from behind me and I turned.

  “Sure.”

  “Table for four?” He gave me another corny thumbs-up and I did the same again. “Or as you guys say, quatre.” And then he burst out laughing. A strange laugh that seemed more like the kind you make under dire circumstance; like you cut your finger off in a woodwork accident and land up laughing nervously when you see it lying at your feet. No wait, no one laughs when they cut off a finger, what was I thinking? Shit, I wasn’t thinking.

  I looked over at George. Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking? Could I back out of this now, or had I taken it too far already? Of course I had, curious George was now walking around in my hotel room looking at things.

  I shut the door behind me, not before looking down the corridor one more time. When I did, Alessandreeeeee giggled as she smacked Alex on the bum. I think I tasted vomit in my mouth.

  “So . . .” I turned to George who was sitting on the bed expectantly and, Oh dear Lord, the man had started unbuttoning his shirt.

  “A DRINK!?” I screamed and rushed over to the minibar, bending down to get something out of it. “Yes, a drink will definieeeee—”

  I jumped when I felt a hand on my bum. It felt so foreign and unexpected and wrong. Alex hadn’t jumped at Alessandreeeeee’s hand, though. In fact, I bet he’d liked it. Loved it.

  “Oooh, uh . . .” I took a few big steps back. George was peeling his shirt off now and advancing towards me. He had a hairy chest, I didn’t mind that, the thing I did mind was the shiny gold medallion that was nesting in it like a buried treasure. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It glinted and glistened in the overhead lights and now it was absolutely all I could see. George didn’t have a face, or arms, or legs anymore. George was just a big gold medallion coming towards me. I should never have brought him back to my room.

  “You’re so sexy,” he whispered seductively as he moved towards me like a sleazy Casanova. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What was I doing?

  “Mmmmm.” I nodded and kept walking backwards. He kept advancing, he tried to look me in the eye and send me smoldering, sexy vibes—at least I think that was what he was doing. It was all so confusing and suddenly I didn’t quite feel like I was even there. I was with Alex, imagining what he was doing. He was probably knee-deep in Alessandreeeeee already. I wondered what kind of things she would be saying to him.

  “Oui, oui. S’il vous plaît. Je voudrais une grande baguette.”

  Or whatever else she would scream out while banging her sweaty fists on the wall, since I’d let Alex in on the secrets of fist-banging.

  “Your lips . . .” Casanova was upon me now, mere inches from my face. All husky voiced and dreamy, sexy-eyed. “So succulent and juicy,” he continued.

  “Mmmm,” I mumbled, trying to hide the sheer cringe that I was experiencing right now.

  And then his hands were on my face and his lips were on mine. His lips were so moist and big, and they covered the entire bottom half of my face. His tongue was so large and wet. He was not a good kisser. I bet Alessandreeeeee was a good kisser.

  “Shall we get a little more comfortable?” George pulled away and led me to the bed.

  The moment had come! This was it. He sat down on the bed and then he pulled me onto his lap. This time I definitely tasted vomit in my mouth. I bet Alessandreeeeee wasn’t tasting vomit right now. I bet she was tasting something else entirely—

  “I’m sorry!” I launched myself off George like a rocket. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked, looking totally shocked.

  “I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m just not ready for . . . uh, this. I think you should go.”

  George looked at me and soon his shock gave way to profound confusion, which then gave way to something else.

  He stood up and put his shirt back on. “It’s that other guy, isn’t it?”

  “What guy?”

  “Alex?” He sounded a bit pissed now.

  “What?” I spat out. “NO! God, what do you mean? Pppsshhtt.” I made a strange sound that I wished I hadn’t made because it sounded so ridiculous.

  George eyed me suspiciously. “Sure.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “Whatever you say.” He started walking for the door and I was totally and utterly relieved. Then he turned and looked at me.

  “Good luck with him.” He smiled. Cruelly. “I don’t think he’s put an end to what he’s doing.” He exited and I was left standing all alone in the room feeling terrible.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  I walked through the garden, an itchy, sick feeling brewing in my stomach. The thought that Alex was having sex with someone else made me f
eel queasy. And not just anyone else, but heeeeeeeer. The girl with way to many “eeeeeee’s” in her name. But I bet she was good in bed, one of those uninhibited French types. Up for anything. A real fun-time kind of gal!

  Every time I imagined what was happening, my skin crawled and my heart raced. It wasn’t pleasant. And not even the tranquil surroundings of the garden that I’d been walking in for ten minutes already were helping. So I headed to the beach hoping that the soft sounds of the lapping waves would help quell the quease. I tried not to look in the direction of Alex’s room, but couldn’t help it. The door was closed, the blinds had been dropped and the light inside was dim . . . definitely set up for sex.

  My mind ran away with me for a second as I wondered what kind of sex they would be having. Shit! Stop imagining him having sex, I mentally scolded myself and kept walking towards the beach. But as I got closer a familiar figure came into view. I stopped and looked at it. He looked at me with such cool, calm, flat, dead wasteland eyes that it made me furious. I stormed up to him and crouched down on the floor so that we were eye to eye.

  “You were right, okay? Are you happy now? Is that what you want to hear, you beastly, prehistoric devil turtle? Huh?” I glared at him and he didn’t blink.

  “Val?” I heard a voice and my head snapped up. At first I couldn’t see where the familiar voice was coming from.

  “Is that you?” the voice asked. I stood up and looked around. And there, in the distance . . . Alex. He was dripping wet and standing in the calm sea.

  “Alex?” I called out.

  “Who were you talking to?” He started walking towards me and stepped straight into a cool shaft of soft moonlight. Wow! Breath stolen. Heartbeat skipped. He was drenched in a silvery light and I had never seen him looking so good before. There was something almost ethereal about him.