Shiver Me Witches

by A. A. Albright

  The human visitors fascinated me. They were drawn to this town every year, and yet once they left, they’d be able to convince themselves that what they watched here tonight was nothing but special effects. Sure – because every tiny town in Ireland could afford to put on a display like this.

  I spied Grace near the front, dressed in an amazing ball gown and standing next to Maude. It must have been a seriously fancy party that she left in order to join us. Pru and Greg were next to Maude, and Jared next to Grace. Gretel was standing slightly further back, dressed in plain clothes, while a dozen or so Wayfarer officers mingled through the crowd. The Wayfarers were only here as a precaution, though – another force would be taking care of things tonight.

  ‘Their minds are gonna be blown when you tell them what just happened,’ said Fuzz as I headed towards my friends.

  ‘We might just keep that to ourselves until Halloween is over,’ I said, kissing his little head. ‘Because look – Maude is here. Let’s let this night be all about her.’

  ‘All right,’ said Fuzz. ‘Well, I can see Norma sitting on a deck chair at the back of the crowd with Princess Preciousbottom in her basket, so I might just toddle on in that direction.’

  I kissed him again, and he jumped from my arms, skirting ankles and avoiding feet until he’d reached his girlfriend’s basket. I saw her peep a head out at him. She was dressed up for Halloween, with a little pumpkin-shaped hat on her head.

  As I moved closer to the front, I could see that Maude was talking animatedly with my friends.

  ‘Hey,’ I said with a smile when I reached them.

  Maude pointed out to the ship, drawing nearer to the pier with each second. It had a huge pirate flag waving in the breeze, and the words the Lilting Lass were written in proud gold lettering on its side. The ship was slightly hazy, like Maude. But then again, I’d probably be more concerned if it was solid.

  There was another, darker ship behind it, but the crew of the Lilting Lass paid it no attention, even as it dropped anchor, and a dozen burly-looking ghosts jumped out and rowed to shore. They were dressed in long, black cloaks, with their faces completely masked. I shuddered. I knew what those ghosts were. Gretel had told me about them earlier today, but she hadn’t been able to prepare me for the chill I’d feel when I saw them.

  The boat was called the Floating Coffin, and its crew known as the Undertakers. When the ghosts of the sea got out of hand, only a ghostly police force could control them. And that’s what the Undertakers were – the good ghosts, who imprisoned the bad until such time as they passed on. Supernatural life on land had taken me a while to get used to, but the laws on the sea were stranger still.

  ‘It’s really happening,’ Maude said. ‘Finally, after all these years. I’ve been waiting for my ship to come in and now …’ She clutched her stomach. ‘If I’d actually eaten anything since the seventeen hundreds, I’d probably be throwing it up.’

  ‘There, there,’ said Greg soothingly, rubbing her back – or at least attempting to. ‘We explained, Maude. Billy’s not actually on the boat. But he will be here to meet you very soon.’

  I was thoroughly perplexed. ‘I’m thoroughly perplexed,’ I said. ‘I knew that everyone could see the pirates and their boats at Halloween because the sea has different rules, yada, yada, yada … But I thought that ghosts in general could only be seen by witches tonight.’

  Pru shrugged. ‘It must be because we’re on Pirates’ Pier. Either way, it’s amazing to finally meet our houseghost.’

  Jared gave Maude a wry grin. ‘Although we probably owe you a fortune in wages by now.’

  Maude let out a slightly mad laugh. ‘Yes, well, I didn’t really get employed by you, did I? I just sort of insisted on working.’ She looked at me. ‘Even when some of the guests were forever telling me they could draw their own baths.’

  We bantered back and forth for a few minutes, but it was nervous and silly nonsense, and all of our attention was focused on the Lilting Lass gliding into the deep water at the end of the pier. One of the ghostly sailors jumped off, tied the boat and dropped the gangplank down. Maude squeezed my hand, and a few seconds later, a short, chubby man with curly hair strutted onto the pier, his hands on his hips. He wore a black cap that said Captain across the front.

  ‘That’s not the captain!’ Maude cried. ‘My Billy is the captain.’

  Greg attempted to rub her back again. ‘Remember what we told you.’

  Maude narrowed her eyes. ‘Oh, I remember. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to slap that quartermaster across his smug face!’

  As Feckless Finnegan strolled towards us, I could feel the Wayfarers begin to close in behind us. To my right, I could see the Undertakers approach. I noticed that Grace disappeared back into the crowd. She had let slip to us once that she might have been a pirate long ago. Maybe Feckless Finnegan was a man she’d rather not meet again, even if he was currently a ghost. I could understand that. I kind of wished I wasn’t even meeting him for the first time, so I certainly wouldn’t want to meet him again.

  ‘I’m Feckless Finnegan!’ he bellowed. ‘And I’m looking for a woman called Biddy. We had a deal, me and Biddy, and she’s gone and broken her side.’

  ‘Oh?’ I arched an eyebrow. ‘And what sort of deal would that have been, Feckless? I can call you Feckless can’t I? I know so much about you, you see. Sort of feels like we’re enemies of old.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘And who might you be, bonny lass? I seem to be missing quite a few ghost women on my boat today. Just upped and disappeared, with no more arriving. Maybe you could help fill in one of the vacancies.’

  ‘Ugh!’ I felt that ugh as I spoke it. I imagined many people couldn’t come up with much more than an ugh when they were in the presence of Feckless. ‘That’s not going to happen. Biddy’s magic was stripped last night. Every spell she ever performed has been undone. That’ll be why all of your reluctant women have upped and gone. Biddy bound them to your boat, and Biddy has zero power now. Those women are finally free. It doesn’t exactly make up for the fact that Biddy murdered them for you, but whatever new afterlife they’ve gone onto has got to be a whole lot better than being stuck on a boat with you.’ I stood aside, as the Undertakers swooped in and surrounded him. ‘Enjoy your new vessel, Feckless. The real captain of the Lilting Lass will look after it while you’re gone.’

  He struggled, and he shouted, but those cloaked ghosts were a lot more powerful than him. Looking at them made me feel chilled to the bone.

  ‘Coogan! Shaky Legs!’ Feckless called back to the crew on his deck. ‘Come on lads! You’re my crew. Help your captain out here. We can take on this lot.’

  A shaky-legged ghost stood forward (I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that he was the one Feckless had called Shaky Legs). ‘You’re not our captain, Feckless. You never were. Good luck trying to bully the crew of the Floating Coffin though. We wish you all the best with that!’

  As all of the humans in the crowd cheered, I glanced behind me. Florence had arrived, and she and Gretel were leading Billy through the crowd. He was one hundred percent ghost now, but being dead couldn’t diminish the excitement he felt when he saw Maude.

  His eyes lit up (well, the one without an eyepatch did anyway) and he ran towards her. She saw him and rushed to meet him, the two of them colliding in the most beautiful ghostly embrace I’d ever seen. Sure, it was also the only ghostly embrace I’d ever seen – but in Riddler’s Edge, it probably wouldn’t be the last.

  ‘That went better than we could have hoped,’ said Gretel, making her voice louder with each word, in order to be heard over the noisy, slurping kiss that Billy and Maude were enjoying. ‘The Undertakers still have to question the crew, but they seem to be happy just to arrest Feckless. The Lilting Lass can set sail again in a couple of hours.’

  ‘Good!’ I shouted, wondering if even covering my ears could protect me from the noise of that kiss. ‘That’s wonderful! I’m so happy that it’s all worked out for
the best!’

  ‘Me too!’ cried Pru. ‘It’s really romantic! I wish someone would sweep me off my feet into a romantic kiss like that one! Maybe slightly less slurpy though.’

  Greg nodded and muttered, ‘No slurpy kisses. Good to know.’

  The rest of the crew crowded around Maude and Billy, cheering, while more and more ghost pirates arrived on the pier. Billy’s parrot circled in the air, shouting, ‘Shiver me witches!’ and ‘Pieces of cake!’ over and over.

  The music played louder, and people moved to the buffet tables. The parrot hogged most of the cake, naturally. As I stood watching two peg-legged pirates bob for apples, I found myself laughing out loud. It was the strangest Halloween party I’d ever been to, and also the most wonderful.

  ‘What will you two do now?’ asked Jared, when Maude and Billy finally stopped locking lips and joined the rest of us at a table.

  ‘I think I’d like to pass on, actually,’ said Maude, seating herself on Billy’s lap. ‘I’m a bit tired after scrubbing floors for a couple of hundred years. But I might hang on for a little while longer. I still want that voyage on the Lilting Lass.’

  Billy pulled her in for another kiss – a shorter, quieter one this time – and said, ‘Then a voyage you shall have, my love. A voyage you shall have.’

  ≈

  As the night went on, and my face and stomach were both thoroughly stuffed, I found myself wondering where Dylan was. Sure, I didn’t care. He could do what he liked. He wasn’t my boyfriend and he never would be. I was just … curious.

  ‘Maude and Billy will be setting sail in a few minutes,’ said Jared, wrapping his jacket around me. ‘Let’s all have a glass of rum to send them off.’ He produced a dusty bottle, wiped it off, and poured glasses for us all. ‘I’ve been saving this for a special occasion,’ he said. ‘And since we’re celebrating the sort of true love that waits for hundreds of years … I’d say it’s more than special enough.’

  We all turned and looked at the pirate ship as it left the pier, with Maude and Billy standing side by side and waving down at us. We all waved back, and then clinked our glasses and cried, ‘To Billy and Maude!’

  I didn’t know where the ship was going. I didn’t know if Billy and Maude would still be ghosts, or if they would have passed on, by the time the Lilting Lass next docked at Pirates’ Pier. All I knew for sure was that Jared was right. The sort of true love that waits for hundreds of years – that was definitely worth celebrating.

  And celebrate I did. On the makeshift dancefloor on Pirates’ Pier, I danced and drank and laughed. I was in the middle of a dance with Greg, when I felt eyes on my back. I turned and saw Dylan, standing a few feet away. He was in his full night gear, protecting himself from the dark, so I couldn’t even see his eyes.

  ‘Go on,’ said Greg. ‘Go dance with him. I’m gonna pluck up the courage to ask Pru for a dance, anyway.’

  I nodded wordlessly, and walked towards Dylan.

  ‘Want to dance?’ he asked.

  ‘Sure. Why not?’

  As he took me into his arms, I could feel nervous excitement coming off him in waves.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I asked. ‘I’ve been worried about you. Well, I’ve been annoyed with you. But also worried.’

  He let out that gorgeous husky laugh of his. ‘Sounds about right. I honestly have been working all day. I’m supposed to be responsible for this town, Ash. Seeing as I didn’t do a very good job protecting it from Biddy, I figured I could at least help clean up the mess she made.’ I felt him bury his face in my hair, and let out a sigh. ‘I should have been there for you. But once again, you wound up having to look out for yourself.’

  ‘Actually, you did look out for me. Without the Impervium, I’d be a gonner.’

  ‘Dave said as much in his statement. I guess that’s something, at least. But Ash … I did intend to meet you and the others at eight. I was all finished up and everything. But then … then I ran into one of the healers at Witchfield.’

  He pulled away from me and lifted his sunglasses briefly, so that I could see his eyes. ‘Something’s happened, Ash. Something huge. Do you remember Miriam?’

  I resisted the urge to give him a big fat duh. It wasn’t as though she was a person I was likely to forget. She had murdered a whole lot of dayturning vampires and almost killed me when I realised she was responsible.

  ‘Sure, I remember that crazy vampire,’ I said. ‘How’s she doing at Witchfield? Miserable, I hope.’

  He took a deep breath, looking like he was bracing himself. ‘She is miserable, actually. Because she’s not a vampire anymore. It em … it took a while for the healers to figure out. They think she might have been human for months, only she was hiding the fact. She still insists she’s a vampire, and refuses to eat anything but a vampire diet. But … she is one hundred percent human. They have no idea how, and Miriam’s not exactly helping matters but … this could be big, Ash. Because if something has cured Miriam of being a vampire … then maybe … maybe it could cure the dayturner virus too.’

  As I stared up at him, I couldn’t help but remember those delightful words that Miriam said after she attempted to drink from me. My blood, she told me, tasted like crud. But could it be cruddy enough to cure vampirism?

  He stroked the side of my cheek with his gloved hand. ‘You know,’ he said softly, ‘there are some old-school witches who believe Halloween is the end of the old year. And November the first … that’s the beginning of the new.’ I saw his face move into a smile beneath his scarf. ‘And I’m starting to think that those old witches had it right. Because right now, I feel like you and me are on the cusp of something new.’

  He was right, I thought. Our future could hold so many things. The return of my parents. A cure for Dylan. The possibilities were astounding. And very soon, they might not be mere possibilities. They might be our reality.

  ‘Something new,’ I murmured, laying my head on his shoulder. ‘I like the sound of that.’

  ≈

  You’ve reached the end of Shiver Me Witches. I hope you enjoyed this read. If so, join my newsletter to keep up with the very latest releases: http://www.subscribepage.com/z4n0f4

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  You might also enjoy my Wayfair Witches series. It’s set in the same magical world, and can be found on Amazon