Holding Honor (Ashland Pride Nine)

by R. E. Butler

  “Yeah,” she said as she climbed out of the truck. “I don’t have a valid driver’s license for the States anymore, though.”

  “You can get it updated,” Jax said. He shut the truck door and joined them. “I’m ready for some breakfast.”

  She chewed her lip and looked past them to the diner. “Are we okay to stop? Should we keep going?”

  “Are you worried they’re following us?” Jax asked.

  “I don’t know. Victoria was pretty pissed, but I don’t think they’d have left right away. They know where we’re headed, assuming we’re going to Ashland.”

  “Unless you don’t want to go there?” Jax asked.

  “No, I do. I have a lot of apologies to make.”

  “You don’t need to apologize,” Holden said. “You were under a curse.”

  She let out a frustrated grunt. “Okay, but I still know right from wrong. I drove those four females to the pride territory, knowing they were going to try to kill Jilly’s mates. If I had an ounce of goodness in me, I wouldn’t have done that. I’d have called the police or stopped them.”

  Holden took her hands and felt the fine tremble in them. Her blue eyes were wide and glittering with emotion. “Listen, sweetheart, the venom that you were poisoned with as a child is so strong that it makes you like a robot. You only cared about yourself. It’s the way the curse was designed. That you feel guilt now should tell you just how good a person you were underneath the curse. If that damn goddess hadn’t cursed the females eons ago, it would have changed the course of countless lives.”

  Jax cleared his throat. “What matters isn’t what you did in the past, it’s what you do going forward, now that you’re out from under the curse.”

  “I just want to be with you both,” she said. “I haven’t thought about anything else for the last seven months. Now that we’re together, I have no idea what I want to do.”

  “We’ll figure it out together,” Jax said.

  The gas pump clicked, and Holden kissed her cheek and took care of the truck. “I’ll park and meet you two inside,” he said.

  Jax took Honor’s hand, and they walked toward the diner while Holden found a parking space. He met them inside, and they sat in a curved booth at the back of the nearly-empty diner, Honor between him and his brother. A stout waitress brought menus over and filled mugs with coffee before promising to return to take their orders.

  Honor chewed on her lip as she stared at the menu. Then she put it down and yawned, leaning against Holden’s shoulder. He adored how quickly she was becoming comfortable with them. After they ordered, Honor fixed her coffee with cream and sugar and said, “I remember in King that you worked at the garage. What do you do in Ashland?”

  “Same thing,” Jax said. “We both work for Ashland Automotive. What did you do for work?”

  “Gretchen has a catering business and Raquel has an online medical transcription company, so I worked for one or the other whenever they needed a hand. We were careful with money. We didn’t live extravagantly, but no one did without anything they needed.”

  “Did you like working for them?” Holden asked.

  “Does anyone really like work?” she asked, raising a brow.

  “We like working with cars,” Jax said.

  “Well, I don’t really like to serve food to strangers, but I do like to cook. I thought the transcribing was pretty boring.”

  “If you could do anything, what would you do?” Holden asked.

  “I don’t know. No one ever really asked me that before.”

  The food arrived, and no one said anything while they all inhaled the scents of fried potatoes, omelets, and sizzling breakfast meats. Honor spread jam on her toast and took a bite.

  “My dad was the principal at King High School when I was growing up. When I was very little, I liked going to school with him and sitting in the office with the secretary from time to time. She was so nice. I guess if I had my dream job, I’d like to work in a school office. That probably sounds dumb, though.”

  “Why would that be dumb?” Holden asked.

  “Because it’s not very cool. My dream job is answering phones at a high school.” She blew out a breath. “As if anyone would trust me around their kids.”

  Jax snarled softly. “Things are different for you now, and people will understand that.”

  “Not the King males. They hate us.”

  “The King pride know about the curse,” Holden said. “It’s not the same there as it was before.”

  “Isn’t Jilly the only female who’s been changed? What if they think she was a fluke and don’t ever trust me?”

  Jax set his utensils down. “Our niece Melody was raised away from the pride by our brother Bradley. When she found us in King, the pride wasn’t trusting of her at first, but they realized she was different. They know about the curse, and how it’s broken.”

  “Because I bit you both,” she said.

  “Not just bit us,” Holden said, “you took our blood. It’s called blood-sharing, and it’s what breaks the curse. When we get to Ashland, we’ll show you the history book of our people that Jilly’s panther clan had in their library, so you can read about it.”

  “I’d like that.” She stared down at her plate, seeming lost in thought for a few moments. Then she looked up suddenly and said, “I have a daughter.”

  Both their brows rose. “You do? Where is she?” Holden asked.

  Honor’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I don’t know. I mean, she might still be in King, but I honestly have no idea. She’s… I had her when I was twenty, so she’d be fifteen now.”

  Jax growled softly and brushed the tears from her cheeks. “We’ve only been in Ashland for a few years, so we might know her.”

  “I don’t know her name. I had her and just walked out of the hospital.” She let out a snarl and clenched her hands. “What kind of mother does that? I didn’t even see if she was okay, I just bailed.”

  “It was the curse,” Holden said gently. He took one of her fists and brought it to his lips, kissing the white knuckles.

  “I hate that so much. The curse took everything from me. What kind of goddess does that to people?”

  “We don’t know, but you can bet that everyone who knows about the curse hates her too,” Jax said.

  She let out a shuddering breath and used her napkin to dry her eyes. “I had her with Silas Lannard. He was just a male in the pride who approached me to ask if I’d have a child with him.” She put her head in her hands. “I can’t believe how callous I was. I don’t know anything about him – if he was a good father, or if he even wanted her.”

  Holden glanced at Jax, who was frowning deeply. “We knew Silas, but we weren’t close to him. I do remember him having a daughter, but I don’t know anything about the situation.”

  She blinked tear-filled eyes at him. “Do you know her name?”

  “Sorry, sweetheart,” he said, his heart cracking. “But we can find out. I’m sure your dad knows. He’s not the sort of male who would let his granddaughter grow up not knowing him.”

  “Do you think so?” she asked.

  “We both do,” Jax said.

  She blew out a breath. “Okay. Do you think I could call him when we get to Ashland?”

  “Of course,” Jax said. “I’ll send a text to James and ask him get your dad’s contact information. He’s still friendly with the King police.”

  “James must hate me. Hell, all the pride must.”

  “We hate the curse, not the females,” Holden said. “You’re more than just your past, Honor. You weren’t in control of your emotions, because the curse dampened everything and changed the core of what you are. Now that you’re free, the choices you make going forward are what will matter.”

  “And whatever you want to do, Holden and I are here for you, every step of the way.”

  “Good. I don’t think I could face my past alone.”

  “You could if you needed to,” Holden said. “I hone
stly believe that.”

  She smiled at him and dabbed at her eyes with the napkin again. “You’re both very sweet. I feel supremely lucky to be your mate.”

  “We’re lucky too, trust us,” Jax said.

  They finished their meals, and Jax paid while Holden walked with Honor to the restroom. When Jax met him outside the bathroom to wait for Honor, Holden said, “I was thinking we could get a hotel room.”

  “Here?”

  “No. We’ve still got ten hours of driving to go before we hit Ashland. I’m damn tired, and I know she is. I thought we could drive until dinner and then stop someplace nice. That would get us more than halfway home. We were in a hurry to get her, but we don’t necessarily have to be in a hurry to get back.”

  “If it’s okay with Honor, it’s okay with me.”

  “What is?” Honor asked as she joined them.

  “Stopping for the night.”

  “It’s almost dawn.”

  Holden smiled. “I mean drive all day, and then stop for dinner somewhere and get a hotel.”

  “Are you guys tired? I would offer to drive, but I don’t want to get busted for not having a valid license.”

  “Tired, yes, but not so much so that we can’t keep going,” Holden said. “It’s just that we don’t necessarily have to rush home, and it would be nice to take a break from sitting in the truck for hours on end. Unless you don’t want to stop.”

  “It’s okay with me,” she said.

  They got back in the truck, Honor sitting between him and Jackson, and continued their journey home. Although he couldn’t wait to get her to Ashland, he was looking forward to stopping for the night and spending time with her when they weren’t cramped up in the truck.

  “Not that it wasn’t nice to visit,” Holden said, “but I can’t wait to get out of Canada."

  “Me, too,” she said.

  Chapter 4

  To say that Honor was entirely smitten with Holden and Jackson by the time they stopped for dinner near Fort Wayne was an understatement. They were the two nicest, sexiest guys she’d ever known, and they couldn’t stop touching her. They were always holding her hands or putting their arms around her and dropping little stolen kisses that made her mind swim with possibilities for what the night might bring. She was more than ready to stop for the night, and not just because she was feeling a little crazed from being in the truck all day.

  The guys wanted to eat something hearty for dinner, so they found a steakhouse. As the meal wound down, she was aware of how soon they’d be going to the hotel. Although she’d had sex with males over the years, she’d never actually spent an entire night in bed with any male before, let alone two that she was mated to.

  Or was she actually mated to them? She had no idea how mating worked for mountain lions.

  Jackson paid the check and pushed his chair back. “Ready to find a place for the night?”

  “Definitely,” she said, her heart kicking up a notch at the thought of being alone with them in a hotel room. Really alone.

  “We’ve got two choices,” Holden said, looking at his phone. He paused when they got to the truck, and looked at her. “Do you want us to get you a room of your own?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “We’ve been talking non-stop since we left Canada, but we haven’t talked about sleeping arrangements for tonight, or… anything else. I don’t want you to think that Jax and I are taking anything for granted when it comes to you. If you want a room for yourself, that’s okay with us.”

  She touched the cold metal of the truck door, sliding her fingertips along the smooth surface to give herself a moment to think. She knew that mountain lion males were thoughtful and kind; she’d grown up in a town full of them. Even with the females cursed and behaving like total bitches, they would have done anything for any female who asked. There was an inherent hopefulness in the males that before, when she was under the curse, she’d found grating. But now that she was free, she thought it was wonderful.

  “Do you want me to have a room to myself?” she asked.

  Both males snarled softly, and she couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips. “Hell no,” Jackson said. “We don’t want to let you out of our sight, not even for one night.”

  She let go of the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I don’t want to be apart from you either.”

  “We have some talking to do,” Jackson said as he pulled the door open for her.

  “We’ve done nothing but talk since you saved me,” she pointed out.

  “Yeah, but there’s a few things we still need to discuss, and it wasn’t the best time when one of us was distracted with driving,” Holden said.

  They found a nice hotel ten minutes away. While Holden checked them in, she and Jackson stood in the lobby with their bags.

  “You can call me Jax if you want,” he said.

  “Do you always go by that nickname?”

  “Yeah, since I was in school. I kind of like you calling me Jackson – no one since our dad died has called me that. But Holden calls me Jax, and so do all the lions. I just didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t.”

  “At least your name lends itself to a good nickname. You can’t do anything with Honor.”

  He chuckled. “I never thought about it.”

  “I’d love to call you Jax, but maybe sometimes I’ll call you Jackson, and you’ll know it’s special.”

  He smiled at her, one of those breathtaking ones that made her whole body light up.

  Holden joined them with the room keys. “Ready?”

  She nodded. “Definitely. Thanks for doing this.”

  “It’s our pleasure,” Holden said.

  They took the elevator to the fourth floor. Holden unlocked the room, holding the door open for her and Jax. She found the light switch and illuminated the large suite. A king-sized bed sat against one wall, with nightstands on either side. There was a couch and a television on the dresser.

  “I’d like to take a shower if you guys don’t mind,” she said.

  “Help yourself,” Holden said. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “I won’t take too long.”

  “Take as long as you like,” Jax said.

  She took her backpack into the bathroom and set it on the counter, closing the door. She washed her hair and shaved her legs, then dried herself swiftly. Finding a hair dryer on the shelf, she dried her long blonde hair and then hung up her towel. She opened her backpack and stared at her clothes. While she was in the shower, she’d been thinking about putting her pajamas on, but now that she was about to walk out into the bedroom where Holden and Jax were waiting, she didn’t want to put anything on.

  Although, she wasn’t sure what would happen tonight, if anything.

  She wasn’t used to wrestling with emotions so much, and ever since she’d been freed from the curse, it seemed she’d done nothing but. There were a million things about her past that she wished she could change, but chief among them at the moment was that she’d never left them in the woods on the September full moon.

  Glancing up at the mirror, she saw the reflection of a robe hanging on the door, and she turned and took it, putting it on. The fluffy white terrycloth would at least keep her covered when she went out into the bedroom, and she could see where the night would take them. After brushing her teeth, she picked up her backpack and opened the bathroom door. She set the bag on the floor of the closet and said, “Who’s next?”

  “I’ll go,” Jax said. He rose from the couch where he’d been sitting with Holden and grabbed his duffel from the dresser.

  She sat next to Holden on the couch and saw three bottles of water, three glasses, and a bucket of ice. “Are you thirsty?” Holden asked.

  “Not really.” She turned to face him and got comfortable. “I have a question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “What’s mating like?”

  He blinked rapidly a few times. “What do you mean?”

 
“I mean, you said I’m your mate, but we never… did anything.”

  He looked past her toward the bathroom. “We should wait for Jax.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you about this, sweetheart, because I do, but Jax and I agreed to talk to you together.”

  She nodded and blew out a breath.

  “I can tell you this, though. Our cats recognized you immediately that night in the woods. When you almost fell and I grabbed you, my cat was so content to just hold you. And then that kiss, woman! Damn.”

  Her cheeks heated. “That was my first kiss.”

  His brows rose. “Really? Well that’s damn cool. I’m honored to be your first kiss. It was a great one.”

  She smiled. “Good. I don’t know what came over me when I bit your lip. Was it the curse being broken?”

  “We think so. I remember you from King, but I don’t recall ever feeling that you were our mate back then.”

  “I certainly never had those thoughts either. But when I came back to Ashland, I felt strange. My cat was antsy, I felt like there was something I needed to do, but I didn’t have a clue what it was.”

  “I think Jilly felt the same way when she was found by Wyked and Fate. Timing seems to be everything with the curse.”

  “I wish Gretchen and Julia and the others weren’t still under the curse. It’s unfair that our people suffer for something that happened so long ago.”

  “I agree one hundred percent.”

  The bathroom door opened and Jax walked out, wearing jeans and nothing else. His upper body was on display, from his broad shoulders to his thick arms to the taut muscles in his abdomen. There were a few glistening droplets of water on his skin, and she wanted to lick them up and strip him quick.

  He growled softly, his green eyes flashing to the amber of his cat. Hers responded with a purr that she’d never heard before: one of lust and contentment.

  “Put a lid on the sexy looks, you two,” Holden said. “I need to clean up.”

  “Be fast,” Jax said.

  “Super fast,” she added.

  Jax joined her on the couch. She heard the shower turn on, and she glanced over her shoulder, wondering what Holden looked like naked. Then Jax cleared his throat, and she turned back to him.