Halve Human

by Stephanie Fazio

  “Not the only one,” Dayne corrects. He rests a hand on Wokee’s head.

  “We’re like family, aren’t we?” Wokee asks, looking from Dayne to me.

  “We are family.” Dayne says. “The three of us.”

  “Vlaz, too,” Wokee says.

  Vlaz, hearing his name, pokes his head into the doorway and gives a happy wiggle of his body.

  “The four of us,” Dayne amends.

  “And nothing’s gonna happen to you, right?” Wokee asks.

  The look in his eyes squeezes my heart.

  “We’re all going to protect each other,” Dayne says, wrapping an arm around Wokee.

  “Well, we do have Hemera on our side,” Wokee says. “Who’s going to mess with a Bisecter?” He sniffles, laughs. “I bet she’s stronger than a thousand Duskers.”

  “Two thousand!” Dayne counters, ruffling Wokee’s curls.

  My hand goes to the silver key at my throat as I look at Dayne and Wokee. I feel stronger than ever, but it’s not because of the Zeroes. It’s because of the two people standing beside me. My family.

  ✽✽✽

  After Wokee has run off, saying something about needing to water the spicy brittlebush—Dayne and I are left alone, staring at Wokee’s living tribute to Aunt Jadem.

  “Are you sure about this demonstration?” Dayne asks me. “Zeroes fighting Duskers is one thing, but letting the Solguards fight them?”

  “It’s the only way to convince everyone of how strong they are,” I say. “The Zeroes won’t have weapons, and I’ll tell them to disarm, not hurt.”

  Dayne’s frown deepens. “What happens when someone holds a dagger to their throat? We don’t really know anything about their true nature.”

  “Obeying me is their nature,” I counter. “My blood runs through their veins. They have no choice but to do as I command.”

  Dayne’s face looks pained.

  “It won’t last long,” I say. “It’ll only take a few minutes for them to see no human is a match for the Zeroes.”

  “I wish I had some alternative to offer,” Dayne sighs. “But I don’t.”

  “It’s going to be fine,” I tell him.

  We stand in silence for a few more minutes, each lost in our own thoughts.

  “I’m going to find the musicians,” Dayne says. He turns back to the tunnel. “There’s gotta be someone on this sinking ship with a lute to spare.”

  Dayne and I split off at the glide. I’m so focused on everything that needs to be done, I don’t even notice where my feet are taking me until I’m standing outside the door to Wade’s chamber. As soon as I realize where I am, my face heats, and I turn to double back the way I came.

  Before I take a step, the door opens and Wade is standing there, shirtless.

  “Hello.” His golden eyes sparkle as they follow the direction of my gaze. I realize I’m devouring him with my eyes. I force myself to look back up to his face.

  “Hi,” I manage.

  There are so many things I need to say to Wade. A thousand unspoken words hang between us. But right now, I don’t care about a single one of them.

  I leap forward, and Wade barely has time to wrap his arms around me before I catapult us backward into his room. His deep, husky laugh tickles my ear as he shuts the door behind us.

  Whatever awkwardness or hesitation or whatever it was that made me pause the last time I was here is gone, replaced with something frenzied and wild. I don’t just want Wade, I need him.

  “Hemera,” Wade laughs again. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I have no idea,” I answer as I trace a line of kisses across his stubbled jaw.

  He takes my face in his hands, making me still, and meets my black eyes with his honey ones. His brow is furrowed in concern.

  “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll go along with this plan in a second.” Wade searches my face. “But there’s something…different.”

  I know Wade is just trying to protect me, to keep me safe from doing something I might regret. But those words sting.

  After I rescued Brice in Tanguro, he told me I had changed. As much as I had wanted to fall back into our old patterns the moment we were reunited, those words hung between us, and we were never the same.

  “Not like it’s a bad thing,” Wade says. “Just, you’re not yourself. I can tell.”

  “You don’t know everything about me,” I snap.

  “I’d like to.” His eyes rake over me, making me feel warm.

  My anger vanishes.

  “You’re right,” I say. “I guess it’s just been…a lot.”

  A lot doesn’t even come close to covering it, but Wade nods in understanding.

  “When was the last time you slept?” he asks.

  “I—” I pause, thinking about it. “I don’t remember.”

  Wade takes my hand and leads me over to his bed. My blood stirs and I reach for him, but Wade shakes his head.

  “You need sleep, love.”

  He seats me on the edge of the bed and pulls off my boots. Then, he undoes the tie of my cloak and pulls the hood back, letting his fingers linger at the nape of my neck. It feels so good I reach for him, but he steps back, chuckling.

  “You’ll be the death of me, Hemera.”

  Wade presses me back against the pillow and pulls the thin blanket up to my chin, tucking me in like I’m a child. Then, he climbs onto the bed and molds his body to mine.

  “Sleep, love.” He kisses my hair and wraps his arms around me.

  Sleep is the last thing I want right now, but with the warmth of Wade’s body and the steady rhythm of his breathing, it’s exactly what I do.

  CHAPTER 38

  I can’t breathe. Darkness presses in on me on all sides. And then, out of nowhere, I’m blinded by light. A raging fire surrounds me.

  There are people. I see their shadowy figures as they try to claw their way through the roaring flames. They call out to me, begging for help. I throw myself into the flames to reach them. But no matter how far I push into the inferno, I never get any closer.

  Voices cry out to me from every direction.

  “Where are you?” I yell.

  With every step I take, the flames grow hotter. My clothes and hair disintegrate. My skin is burning too fast to heal itself. Smoke and heat fill my lungs until I can’t breathe.

  They’re dying, all of them, and there’s nothing I can do.

  A form rises out of the fire. It’s the Dusker girl, her face covered in black scars. Flames pour from her eyes and mouth.

  “Hemera, wake up.”

  Someone is screaming. My entire body is convulsing. I tear free from the arms holding me back.

  “I have to save her.” My voice is raspy from the smoke. To the little girl, I shout, “Where are you?”

  “Shh, love. It’s just a dream.”

  “Let go. I have to go. I have to save her!”

  “Open your eyes, Mer. Come back to me.”

  That voice. The smoke begins to clear.

  Wade. My eyes flick over the dimly-lit room, and I remember where I am. My face still feels hot, like the flames really were erupting from the walls. I look down, expecting to see scorch marks on my skin and clothes…expecting to see the charred remains of the little girl.

  “I gave the order,” I whisper. “It’s my fault.”

  Wade draws me against him. “What order? What’s your fault?”

  The feel of his arms around me helps the fire still raging in my mind begin to recede.

  “Wade, something happened with the Zeroes. Something I made them do.”

  I force myself to tell Wade about the Zeroes’ first battle. I speak quickly, trying to get it all out before I lose my nerve.

  When I tell him about the Dusker child, Wade’s face goes ashen.

  “It was my fault,” I say, unable to look at Wade. “If it hadn’t been for me—”

  Wade turns my face until I’m looking at him. “Hemera.” His voice is husky. “I know what it’s l
ike, believe me.” He bends so he’s looking me in the eye. “I can’t close my eyes without seeing all the scouts I’ve sent out, only to have their burned remains brought back to me.”

  His gaze slides away from me. “If Sal had been here, those soldiers would probably still be alive.” He laughs bitterly. “I couldn’t even convince the Banished to choose us over the Duskers.”

  “You’re an amazing leader,” I choke out, overcome by the addition of his pain and regret to my own. “Sal and Jadem would be proud of you. I know it.”

  The intensity of Wade’s gaze as it meets mine is almost overwhelming. Even though it’s the last thing I should be thinking about, my eyes are drawn to the perfect curve of his lips. He reaches out and strokes the metal rays of the pendant dangling next to my mother’s key around my neck.

  “How can you even stand to be near me, after everything I’ve done?” I ask, my voice unsteady.

  Wade stops tracing the pattern of the necklace and looks at me. “More easily than you can possibly imagine.” His lips graze my forehead, my hair, the tip of my nose.

  “We only have a couple hours until low day,” I force myself to say. My internal clock, honed from so much time spent underground, is almost as accurate as my shadow in the sunlight. “I have to see to the Zeroes, and I’m sure you have a million things to do before the demonstration.”

  Sighing, Wade rolls over me, making me laugh for the first time since the Dusker girl was killed. He lands on his feet and holds out a hand to me.

  We dress quickly and head up to the second level of the fortress. My mind is already going through a mental checklist of everything I have to do, but Wade isn’t finished with me yet. Before we reach the main tunnel, he pulls me behind a column.

  “Just in case you had any illusions that I wasn’t interested….” Emotion flickers in the gold of his eyes. Wade bends his head until our lips meet.

  I should pull away. Anyone coming down the tunnel could see us. But I can’t bring myself to care. I wrap my arms around Wade’s neck, parting my lips. A soft moan escapes him, the vibrations thrumming against my skin. Warmth turns to fire as he deepens the kiss.

  “You know, I’ll give the humans one thing.” Jarosh, Camike in tow, saunters toward us. “They sure know how to feather a mattress.” He leans against the wall next to us, either oblivious to—or not caring about—the fact that Wade and I are wrapped in each other’s arms.

  “You don’t say,” Wade deadpans, stepping back from me.

  Ry and Dellin are behind them, followed by Ekil and Brogut. Dellin doesn’t say a word to me, but my attention goes straight to her anyway. She has her hand resting on Ry’s waist…like she owns her. When Ry sees me looking, she gives a pointed stare at Wade, and then quirks her lips into a half-smile. She runs her tongue over her top lip, keeping eye contact with me the whole time, before leaning in to whisper something to Dellin.

  I look at Wade, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed the exchange. Annoyance and guilt war within me.

  Jarosh yawns. “Nothing like a good high day’s sleep before I beat up a bunch of Zeroes.”

  “Wait.” Ry puts out her hand. “You’re going to try and fight the Zeroes?”

  Jarosh shrugs. “I am the strongest soldier in the fortress.” His smile grows as Camike turns her attention on him. “You know, after Hemera, of course.” He stands on his toes to kiss Camike on the cheek. “It will be my responsibility to throw my hat into the challenge, so to speak.”

  “Brogut fight too,” the Halve says. He is busy sharpening his nails on the pointed end of his new tree trunk. He hasn’t even bothered to cut off the roots, which are dribbling a trail of dirt in his wake.

  “Well, better get the healers ready,” Ry says.

  I want to tell Jarosh not to fight them, to wait until they’ve been tested more, but I know how that would seem. If I don’t believe in my ability to control the Zeroes, then no one will, and the Banished leaders will leave without ever having seen what they can do. So, I swallow all the warnings that want to leap out of my mouth and just nod.

  We move in a group up the thousand steps. Even though Jarosh and Camike are chatting—loudly—in some language that is neither human nor Halve, a strange quiet surrounds our company. Something about the fortress seems different. I look around, trying to place it. The waterfalls still burble along the rock walls. There are Solguards coming and going. It’s even more crowded than usual with the Halves being here. Even so, there is a distinct absence of…something.

  “The kynthia birds are gone.”

  Wade stops walking, one foot hovering above the next step.

  “They all just dropped dead a few weeks back.” He looks up, like he expects to see them still fluttering overhead. “They fell out of the air by the dozens. It was awful.”

  “When Crowe killed Aunt Jadem,” I whisper. “How could they have known?”

  “It’s said they recognize each other by the sound of their heartbeats,” Dellin says.

  I give her a look that says I don’t think anyone asked for your opinion.

  Wade nods. “I have no idea how they knew, but….” He trails off, unable to finish.

  I take Wade’s hand, not caring who sees. He laces his fingers through mine and gives it a squeeze.

  We’ve reached the top step, and we’re immediately surrounded by scouts and soldiers all looking for Wade. He manages a quick smile before he’s swallowed up by everyone who needs a piece of him.

  Jarosh herds the rest of our party to the Outside, where preparations are underway to set the arena. Hearing footsteps behind me, I turn to see Ekil.

  “You give your word about protecting Halves if we help you?” Ekil asks.

  “I promise I’ll do everything I can to get your river back,” I tell him. “If we can defeat the Duskers, the Banished will leave you alone. I’ll make sure the Halves aren’t bothered anymore.”

  That satisfies Ekil, but worry gnaws at me. Is this just going to be another Tanguro? Am I just leading them to their deaths? Even if the Banished agree to join us, and even if we can somehow reconstruct Solis to be defendable, people are still going to die. Lots of them. Ekil and the others have already lost so much.

  There’s nothing else to be done, I know, but it still feels flimsy to promise to help them only after my enemy is defeated. It doesn’t matter that the Halves share the same enemy…it still feels wrong somehow.

  But if I do nothing, then the Duskers win. One thought—the image of my aunt’s body decomposing somewhere behind the iron gate—is all it takes to remind me. I’m doing this for her…for everyone who died at Tanguro.

  You will save us all.

  CHAPTER 39

  There you are.”

  My father, seated on the ground in the center of the Zeroes’ chamber, rolls up the script tree bark he was writing on. He adjusts the bandage on his arm and stands up.

  The Zeroes, which had been standing still as statues, begin their sniffing as soon as they sense my presence. All of their heads turn to me at once, their black eyes boring into me. As though they’re one creature, they heave a deep sigh.

  I feel it, too.

  It’s like I’m where I am supposed to be. With the Zeroes so close, I’m whole again. Raw power flows down the tether between us.

  My body feels tight, like a coiled spring that has been packed into too small a space. For the first time, my aunt’s words seem less like a hopeless wish and more like a promise. With this army, I can save everyone. I will.

  “Are you ready?” My father regards me.

  I nod.

  “Good, because you’ll have to be explicit with your instructions if you want to avoid any more…accidents.

  With those few words, all of my confidence vanishes and the old doubts come crashing back.

  “Will you be there, just in case?” I ask.

  “If you wish.” My father scratches at the bandage on his arm. “But they’re your Zeroes.”

  I notice there’s fresh blood
seeping through the bandage. “You should probably get that stitched up,” I say.

  “Careful daughter,” Zeidan replies, raising an eyebrow. “Or I might start to think you care about me.”

  ✽✽✽

  The entire fortress has turned out to see the Zeroes. All of the reactions—the gasps and whispers and open-mouthed stares—follow at a respectful distance as we ascend the thousand steps. The crowd falls into step with us as the Zeroes march behind me all the way to the Outside.

  We follow the path to the clearing, where it was decided to hold the demonstration. When I step through the trees and into the open space, it feels like a hive of insects has exploded inside my stomach.

  An enormous arena has been set up, marked off by wooden logs stacked four high all the way around. Various weapons are piled outside the arena’s entrance for anyone who challenges the Zeroes.

  Surrounding the arena on all sides are people and Halves. The noise they’re making as the Zeroes step into the clearing is deafening. Some are blowing on small noisemakers, others are waving flags. All of them are waiting for us.

  A long sheaf of script tree bark is tacked to a tree trunk beside the ring’s entrance. A Solguard is perched on a thick branch, writing odds and the order of the fights with the nub of a blackwood pencil. Coins are changing hands as names are added onto the script tree scroll.

  It’s almost like this really is the Dark God festival…except with far higher stakes.

  It should encourage me to see how many people turned out to see the Zeroes. Such a show of strength and numbers is what we need to convince the Banished to join us. But all I can think about are the ways this could all fall apart.

  “Maybe Dayne was right,” I say. “What if I can’t stop them? What if they kill someone?”

  I’m ready for my father to laugh or to make some snide comment, but he doesn’t. “It would be foolish not to maintain a healthy respect for something so powerful. That’s a lesson,” his gaze slides to me, “it took me too much time to learn.”

  I try not to show my surprise. If I didn’t know him better, I would think there was remorse behind my father’s words.