But now she had nobody to take away her nightmares and she still did have them. Was it really only days since she had suffered the last one and he had been so unfeeling not to have realised it until she was cringing on the bed waiting to be hurt again.
Had it also only been a couple of days since he had covered her in champagne and licked it off her and they both had enjoyed the fun and laughter that they always had in bed.
The train was taking him further and further away from her. He was beginning to doubt that what he was doing was right for either of them. He was now aching to hold her again and he tried to bring himself back to the present time but all the thoughts of their life together were crowding him. He then remembered how he felt when he thought she had died on the ship back to America and how he didn’t want to live if she had died. He really didn’t want to live without her now.
He hadn’t believed that she could possibly be happy in Benson but that was where he first saw her and his first sight of her had fascinated him. He had watched her from across the table at Kathy and Joe’s Christmas lunch; he knew then that he loved her. Sadly, the next time he had seen her, she was sitting in the mud cradling young Danny’s head in her arms and asking her dead husband to help him through to the next life and he had seen it happen. He remembered how ill she had been when it seemed that the whole town needed her to do everything for them and he had come to her and asked for a commitment from her before he took her to bed. He had also fought her dead husband when he had come to take her when they had lost their first child. He had sworn at him and told him to leave her alone; she wasn’t ready to go to him.
It was now late at night and they would soon be pulling into a station and Patrick made a life changing decision. He wanted to be with his wife, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He would give up the army and stay with her no matter where she chose to be. He would find some useful employment and he would look after her as he had always promised that he would. He now had to find a way back to her and he hoped that when he arrived she would still want him. He smiled knowing that there was very little doubt that she would take him back and he wondered how Jamie would react. Other passengers must have wondered what he was laughing at.
As they came into the station he told the guard that he would be leaving the train there and wanted his trunk from the guard’s van. There would be no trains back to New York for three days, but a stage was leaving in the morning going in that direction. He had no idea how he would manage the last part of the journey but he would get there somehow. He booked into a hotel for the night and finally he slept thinking of his Liza.
***
Liza had spent a very sad night, but she was up early and came down for breakfast with the boys. She said that it would be nice if they could join her for breakfast, but she emphasised that there would be no fingers used that day. She asked what they would like to do and they said that they would like to go to the park, but just with her. They didn’t need Mary to be with them. Then they would like to come back and play hide and seek in the garden, but Mary could join them then as she was quite good at the game, but Liza wasn’t.
She also suggested that they might have a gentle game of cricket and for them not to make her the target of all the hard work that it involved. The boys grinned; they had worked out how to make her run around in circles. Their daddy had taught them that.
“Right,” she said, “we’ll have a day of fun and games and worry about lessons tomorrow.”
“Hooray,” they both shouted.
The boys ran off up the stairs to get themselves ready for a great day with their mummy and Jamie came into the dining room. He did not look at all happy and Liza smiled at him sweetly, but he noted that her eyes did not reflect that smile.
“It was very thoughtless of you to leave me to find my own way home last night, Liza,” he said.
“Jamie, you were getting on so well with some of the young ladies that I didn’t want to disturb you, besides you found your own way there so I assumed you had made your own arrangements to return. I do apologise if it created difficulties for you,” she said.
“I know that you are trying to distance yourself from me because of your reputation and Henry has offered me a room at his house whilst I’m here and I suppose I ought to take it for your sake. I would like to talk to you about your future and how I can help,” he said.
“I’ve planned my future thank you, Jamie. I must go and get ready to take the boys out as I promised them,” she said as she stood to leave the room.
“Wait, Liza, what have you planned?” he asked.
“Many things; I’ll be leaving New York in a couple of weeks for Benson, where I have a few business involvements. I’ll stay for a while with the boys and sort out what has to be done, and then move to somewhere to start a new life,” she said.
“I would like to think that the new life could perhaps be with me in Surrey,” said Jamie quietly.
“I’m sorry, Jamie, but we both have reasons why that won’t be, yours is Evelyn and mine is Patrick. We are both married people and I love my husband regardless of the fact that he isn’t with me at the moment. Even if we were both free I would still love him. I told you once before that I can’t help how I feel,” said Liza.
“You disappoint me Liza, but in time I know you’ll feel differently, and even if you don’t love me to start with, I know that I can eventually make you happy because I love you and as you know, I have done since the first time I saw you,” said Jamie.
“Please Jamie, don’t do this. I need to concentrate on the boys and not think about anything else at present. I must go to them now, we are going to have a day together and have some fun,” said Liza and she left the room and went up to the boys who were ready and waiting for her.
They left the house with a great deal of chatter and Jamie watched them walk down the roadway towards the park. Liza had one child on each side holding her hands. She was laughing and chatting to them, leaning to one side and then the other listening to what they were telling her. Jamie watched until they were out of sight, admiring Liza’s ability to talk to the young and old with equal ease.
The boys had met up with some other children of around their age and had played nicely. Liza had talked to several of their nannies as it didn’t appear that any mothers ever took their children to play. After a couple of hours they returned and the boys were ready for their lunch, which they ate in the kitchen. They were going to have a rest for an hour and then start their cricket match in the garden and they were shouting to Mary to make sure she was ready when they were.
Liza changed into something that would be comfortable for an exhausting game of cricket as she was sure that they were going to keep her running around all afternoon. She wondered again how they had done that before; maybe she could find out this afternoon. Perhaps Mary would be the one to be on the receiving end of running after the ball, but she doubted it.
Before she went down to the game, she had the strangest thought that everything was going to work out well and a feeling of excitement swept over her. Patrick was going to come back, she knew that with absolute certainty but she could not understand how she knew it. She smiled and the sparkle came back into her eyes as she ran down the stairs laughing and calling for the boys to come and do their worst in their game.
Mary and the boys helped an exhausted Liza back into the house two hours later. They were laughing and the boys had once again triumphed over their mother. Bridget took one look at Liza and ordered hot water for a soothing bath. A musical evening was being held that night at an acquaintances house and Liza decided that she would attend by herself and spent a short while with Bridget choosing what she would wear. Pink tonight, she thought and she made sure that her carriage was ordered for the right time. She hoped that this would be the last function she would attend without Patrick.
Jamie once again saw Liza leaving the house dressed for an evening’s entertainment, this time he had no idea where she was goin
g. There were two functions that evening and it could have been either that she was attending. He understood that she was not obliged to tell him where she was going but nevertheless, it annoyed him.
She was welcomed by the host and hostess and invited to sit with them for the evening. The music was beautiful and Liza felt very contented listening to it. The feeling of excitement was still with her and she wondered whether Patrick would be arriving back the next day. She was still convinced that he was coming back to her.
Her carriage was ordered for midnight and she arrived back home to be greeted by Jamie demanding to know where she had been.
“I do not wish to be rude to you, Jamie, but it has absolutely nothing to do with you where I have been tonight,” she said. She smiled at him and he realised that she was very relaxed and quite happy.
“Have you been meeting someone behind my back?” he asked.
“Don’t be ridiculous and even if I have been, it would be none of your business,” said Liza quite shocked at how Jamie was demanding answers.
“How can I keep you safe if you don’t let me know where you are,” said Jamie.
“I don’t need you to keep me safe, that’s Patrick’s job and he’ll be back soon to carry on where he left off,” she said.
“Liza, you know that Patrick’s not coming back,” he said.
“He is Jamie, I know he is,” and she smiled at him and her eyes sparkled with pleasure. She ran up the stairs and into her room where Bridget was waiting for her.
Jamie was now seriously wondering about Liza’s sanity but if it meant that the light came back into her eyes and she smiled and laughed as she used to, then let her be mad. When realisation sets in that Patrick won’t be returning then he will be around to help her through the crisis and then persuade her to come back to Surrey with him, also bringing the boys. They would be good company for his son, James; he and Matthew had always been friends and he felt sure John would fit in quite well also. They would be ready made brothers for him.
He had thought of moving out to Henry’s and Myra’s the next day, but now felt that it could be wise to stay and watch over Liza and her family for a while.
In the morning Liza was up early again and she called the boys telling them to get ready and come down to breakfast with her. She enjoyed their high spirits and they kept her amused. They had been warned that she allowed talking and laughing when they were alone with her at the table, but should there be visitors, they must act with the manners that she knew they were capable of.
Liza was also in high spirits, she knew that today was the day that at some time she would see her Patrick again but she must not be too anxious because it could take him some time to get home. He was on his way; she really felt that he was.
Jamie joined them at breakfast and the boys showed how good their manners were at the table and Liza was proud of them. What they would be doing that day was discussed and Liza told the boys that they had to catch up with their lessons that day as they’d had a day off the day before. They groaned but she said that today they would be reading and as she had to go to the dressmakers, when she returned she would ask them about their book and as they had already said that it was an interesting book, it should be no hard task for them.
“I’m meeting Myra at the dressmakers and I shall be bringing her back as we are organising a garden party here for next week. It’s my farewell party. Will you still be here for that, Jamie, or have you already made your arrangements to return to England?”
“I cancelled them when Patrick left,” he said and caught the look that Liza gave him not wanting the boys to listen to any discussions over where their father was.
Liza excused herself and the boys from the breakfast table and once outside the room, she chased the boys up the stairs to their room and they squealed just in case she caught them. Jamie raised his eyebrows at the noise and wondered who could be considered the biggest child, Liza or the boys?
A little while later, she got into her carriage and was off to the dressmakers to meet Myra. She was having an attractive green day dress made for her garden party and the finishing touches were being put to it and matching bows and ribbons were being made for her hair or if it was very sunny she was having the same matching ribbons put on a wide brimmed straw hat.
Back at the house, she and Myra were finalising the details of the party. Along with those normally on the guest list, Liza had decided to invite all members of the Marchant & Fuller staff and their wives. Their quandary was how to make all the guests feel at ease with one another. Myra’s comment was that Liza always made everyone feel at ease and they would just have to watch and make sure that nobody was left in an awkward situation. Walter and any security men would be on duty to a certain extent, but their wives and girlfriends would also be there.
They were praying for good weather otherwise everyone would have to move inside and although the house was big enough, it would be much easier to entertain in the grounds, which were looking particularly beautiful now. The gardeners and grounds men had done a wonderful job over the last few weeks and it would be a shame not to show them off.
“Is Jamie going to be here with us to greet your guests next week?” asked Myra.
“He told me this morning that he has put his trip home off for a while. He seems to think that he has to look after me, but Patrick will be here to do that and to stand and greet my guests,” said Liza.
Myra looked surprised and Liza just smiled and was not going to be drawn any further on the subject.
True to her word, when Myra had left, Liza went up to the boys and asked them about the book that they had been reading and they told her all about it and proved to her that they had studied the book correctly.
Liza changed from her day dress into her afternoon gown and went to the library and chose a book to read. Going into the sitting room, she tried to concentrate on reading, but her mind kept wandering. She heard the boys running down to the kitchen for their supper and when they had finished, they knocked and came in to see her and tell her what their supper had been. Young John was really coming out of his shell; he was still shy with strangers, but so was Matthew on occasion. Mary came and took them up to their room and she would eventually get them ready for bed and Liza said she would be up shortly to read them a bedtime story.
Jamie came in and asked whether she was dining in tonight or was she going to yet another function that evening.
“I’m dining in tonight. What are you doing?”
“I’m dining here tonight, if I may. I did tell the housekeeper that I would be, but then I shall be going to the Elders for a piano recital. It should be pleasant, are you also going?” he asked.
“No, I’m having a night in tonight. I must go as I promised to read the boys a bedtime story and then I’ll change for dinner and see you then,” said Liza. She didn’t want to tell him that she was waiting in for Patrick’s return; he would have thought her mad.
Having read to the boys and then changed, she joined Jamie for dinner and he was amazed at the way she was showing such happiness with the sparkle back in her eyes.
“Are you sure you won’t join me tonight at the Elders; it’s bound to be a very entertaining evening. I’m sure you’d enjoy it,” said Jamie.
“I’m sure I would enjoy it but I really don’t feel like going out tonight. I’m going to have an early night as I have a great deal to do tomorrow,” she said once again not telling him the real reason why she wanted to stay at home.
He took his leave and a little while later she heard him take the carriage to the Elders. Liza moved from the dining room into the sitting room where she made herself comfortable and picked up her book. She had already placed the lamps on a couple of tables near her chair so that it would not be too difficult for her to read.
She tried to concentrate on her book but her mind kept wandering. Once or twice she heard a carriage and her heart leapt, but they passed by. She then began to doubt that Patrick was really coming home
but pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. After a while she started to nod off and eventually, she curled her feet up under her and rested her head to one side and went to sleep which was how Patrick found her when he arrived back.
***
Patrick had reached the outskirts of New York late in the afternoon, but found it difficult to get transport onto Liza’s house. He went to several livery stables and he finally managed to hire a ramshackle cart with a driver at an exorbitant cost. He loaded his trunk into it and climbed up onto what was really an excuse for a seat next to the driver. He was very uncomfortable but he just kept thinking of what was waiting for him when he arrived; she may be annoyed at him, but he was sure she would be overjoyed to see him. He hoped that his confidence was not misplaced.
He bounded up the steps and in through the front door, the butler saw him and organised his trunk brought into the hall. Patrick asked where Liza was and was told that she was in the sitting room. He brushed himself down and went into the room and found her sleeping in the chair. He stood looking down at her and she started arousing and he called her gently.
She opened her eyes, smiled at him and said, “I’ve been waiting all day for you and when you finally got here I was asleep!”
He knelt down in front of her and said, “How did you know I was coming here?”
She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know; I just did. I am so pleased you’re here,” and suddenly tears started flowing down her cheeks. He put his arms around her and they stayed like that for a while.
“I’d like to get washed and changed and then I would like us to talk about our future, but firstly, I would like to tell you how much I love you, my Liza. I knew I loved you before I left but my time moving away from you made me realise that I really couldn’t live without you and I am going to resign my commission in the army so that I can be with you wherever you want to be and whatever you want to do,” said Patrick.
Against All Odds Page 13
