by Claire Angel
I had no choice but to develop a thick skin. I threw myself into a daily regiment at the early age of 13 at my father’s coaxing. It wasn’t long before I was developing muscle and a strict discipline.
I turned my body into a weapon and got the attention of the local high school coach. He took me underneath his wing and showed me the ropes. I began learning a sport that had no appeal to me.
My father was proud of me for joining the football team. He came to all of my games and cheered me on to victory giving me the moral support to rise above my circumstances. I was pretty much an idiot savant when it came to football picking up on the basics and giving my opponents something to think about.
My father raised me alone after my mother died during childbirth. He taught me everything I knew about being a man and standing up for what I believed in.
It was too bad that he died when I was 16 leaving a chip on my shoulder.
Rebellious was one way to describe me, but my grandparents would call me a lot worse things than that. I didn’t make their life easier by challenging their authority. I continued to sculpt my body to work out those demons.
I could swear I still saw him during every game screaming at the top of his lungs. I wanted him to know that all of his hard work was not for nothing.
I got signed to a college with a full ride. It came with expectations and I delivered. It wasn’t long before the big leagues came knocking on my door with a truckload of cash to sign on the dotted line.
The Chicago Bears exemplified everything that I was looking for in a team. It wasn’t even about the money. It didn’t hurt to see all those zeroes on the contract. I had to stop myself from smiling putting on a poker face to prevent them from seeing how I was screaming inside with joy.
It was only recently that I began to slip off the pedestal people had put me on.
The press was clamouring for the chance to find some skeleton in my closet they could capitalize on. They were the first to praise my accomplishments, but also the first to swoop down like vultures when they smelled fresh blood in the water.
I was in the present back in the here and now. James was calling my name on the field and I blinked him back into focus after going down memory lane.
James became my trainer and was very good at his job. He stood there in judgement watching my every move on the field. His criticism was warranted. I needed the tough love to come back to peek physical shape.
“James, your career was one of legend and I followed you since I was a small boy. I personally requested for you to come here. I know it’s a bit out of your way, but I’m glad they were able to give you an offer you couldn’t refuse. I know how it is when money talks.” It actually sickened me to think he had no respect for what I did on the field.
“In the last couple of weeks, I have come to know you and not just as a client. I’ve drilled you over and over again. You’ve taken good direction and given me no problems. It’s a pleasure to see you at your best, but something is still missing.” James wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know.
I stripped off my jersey, wiping my brow with the soiled fabric and grabbing for a water bottle at the same time. The Gatorade was a thirst quencher to return all of those necessary nutrients back to my body. I was one of the few that could eat anything I wanted and not gain a single pound without going to the extreme.
It didn’t matter if it were burgers or beer. I did take the necessary precaution of working out like a demon when I returned to the training room the next day. I knew what the team was paying for and I couldn’t disappoint them.
I walked half-naked from the waist up back to the showers stopping in the locker room to see the phantom image of the players in their element. My leadership was never questioned and they welcomed those plays that put us on the map. They were understandably a little sceptical, but they followed me without any second thought. It was kind of loyalty that couldn’t be bought.
I took off my pants and went into the shower to feel the hot water making me feel alive again. It was refreshing and for a moment I thought I had rekindled the spark that was missing. It was most likely wishful thinking considering I had tried everything including acupuncture and other holistic measures.
It felt like something was blocking me forcing me to redouble my efforts.
I was still a productive member of the team, but I no longer had the magic hands. My career was on the bubble and I was threatened with being cut from the team. I had no idea how to fix it. I was willing to try just about anything, but the suggestion of going into the care of a therapist sent a chill down my spine.
I finally finished my shower, but I stayed underneath the spray for longer than necessary until my fingers turned into prunes. It was relaxing and a temporary respite from my problems.
I put a towel over my head and made my way out to the locker room where there wasn’t a soul present.
A younger version of me was looking to get ahead and his name was Timothy Ames. The kid had promise and I was afraid of losing my position to him. It didn’t take much to recognize the hunger in his eyes to get ahead of the game.
I couldn’t see what I was doing and I suddenly felt exposed. I reached out and grabbed a towel with the white cotton soft against my fingertips. I found resistance and somebody had entered the locker room without my knowledge.
I could smell the overpowering aroma of somebody’s perfume. It was highly intoxicating and made a certain part of my anatomy come to life. I swallowed hard when I heard a giggle of approval coming from a female set of lips.
I could feel these feminine and soft fingers touching me delicately. I found myself looking at an angel of mercy holding onto the towel with both hands. She had me at a disadvantage and I quickly pulled the towel away from her to wrap it around my waist to hide my current condition.
She was dressed to impress in a dark pantsuit with stripes. This girl had the most innocent green eyes I had ever seen.
Her blond curls framed her face and I constantly found myself watching her with breathless fascination.
It didn’t take much to recognize the attraction of the opposite sex. The double take and the stare of desire was a dead giveaway. I couldn’t blame them for their reaction. My body was my temple.
She had a petite figure. At 5’7 and 135 lbs. She could have them eating out of the palm of her hand.
“I’m sure they told you I was coming.” Her words were like velvet and every syllable made me yearn for something that was completely inappropriate.
Her green eyes were her best feature and made me fall underneath her spell. It was by no fault of my own. I could tell that she enjoyed teasing mercilessly.
The plain grey skirt went well past her knees but my mind was already imagining what she might be wearing underneath.
She tapped her pen on her leg with her red blouse buttoned all the way to the top. I found she didn’t want to distract those she worked for by displaying her sexuality. It made her damn hot with what couldn’t be seen with the naked eye.
I wanted to unbutton her blouse with my teeth to get her released from the suffocation she might be feeling.
Her hand was outstretched and I had been told there was a reporter that would look at things with an unbiased perspective. I didn’t recognize her and those first alarm bells of warning were ringing in my head.
“I pride myself on knowing every female reporter by name. Do you mind telling me exactly who you are? I’m reasonably certain that you have no affiliation to any media outlet in the Chicago area.” I said, putting her on the spot and finding myself drawn in by her hypnotic stare.
“You’ve caught me and I really don’t think it’s necessary to pull the wool over your eyes. They didn’t tell me that you were astute. In the interest of transparency, my name is Dr. Deborah Quinton. I think if this is going to work then you need to know all the facts going forward.” She sat down and motioned for me to do the same thing, but I knew what just ha
ppened has definitely made her nervous.
It didn’t matter how much I fought her influence. I would have gladly given her the towel around my waist. My life was unravelling and her smile made me feel better about myself.
I couldn’t breathe and I was barely able to keep my head above water. She had come to rescue me and I was waiting to see what she had in mind.
“I’m rather critical when it comes to people of your profession. I don’t want to offend.” I wanted to get angry but her smile was disarming leaving me powerless to fight without any conviction behind my words.
“It’s not the first time that I’ve ever heard this and it won’t be the last. Men usually don’t want to admit that they have a problem, but I hope this is a good beginning. Tell me why I'm here,” She asked and I felt that it was necessary to paint her a picture.
“I don’t know how quite to say this. I get these panic attacks where I get short of breath and my hands tremble.” Those first few words were the hardest I had ever said in my life, but there was something therapeutic by admitting I had a problem.
“Can we meet tomorrow? I want you to come to my room in morning at 8:00 AM.” She got up and left.
I nodded and I followed her every move until she was gone.
Chapter 3
Deborah
I had a good night’s sleep after ordering room service taking full advantage of my expense account. The steak was absolutely mouth-watering and I devoured every single bite with a smile on my face.
I went to bed early with the news droning on in the background on the 40-inch television. I woke up later to see some kind of infomercial playing before I turned over and went back to sleep.
I was up at 6:00 AM getting an early start to my day preparing the room for his first initial visit. I thought I was going to have to pull it out of him, but it didn’t take much to get him to open up.
That brief contact had gotten underneath my skin. I found myself thinking about him before I went to bed and after I woke up.
I showered with his naked body permanently imprinted in my mind. Seeing him nude and exposed had made an impression on me. I doubt he noticed, but I did take a glance at his endowment out of curiosity.
It was really embarrassing for me to see him naked. I had never been in that kind of awkward situation before. I doubt he noticed, but I had seen his manhood and I tried to pretend nothing happened. He tried to hide but it was a futile effort.
I ordered room service for breakfast and I heard the knock on the door. The waiter in his customary black and white ensemble presented the meal with a flourish of a magician unveiling a masterpiece. His accent was Mexican. I could almost read him like a cheap novel from beginning to end.
He was an immigrant brought here by his parents to seek out the American dream. It was always the same with varying degrees of success. His parents would sacrifice everything to give their children something better than they had growing up. They would want the chance to turn that spark of hope into something more.
He was a strong and capable young man with his whole life ahead of him. I could only hope his career aspirations didn’t begin and end with the hospitality trade. Money could be the root of all evil and determine the path of a young man trying to make a living. I saw the ring on his finger and he wasn’t just doing this for his family. He was about to start one of his own and the bags underneath his eyes confirmed my suspicion that he was a new father.
I didn’t mean to psychoanalyze him, but it became second nature like breathing. I approved of how hard he was working. He was going to need a career that he could grow with. His bilingualism would come in handy in several professions and I had some connections to give him a fighting chance.
“I want you to take this card and call the number on the back of it. Tell them I sent you and make an appointment. They have the resources to better manage your finances to help meet your financial goals.” I put it in the palm of his hand and he looked at me with confusion but finally smiled before leaving me to my meal.
It might have been a small gesture on my part, but it would make a world of difference to him. My clients owed me a debt of gratitude and they didn’t mind paying it forward for a good cause.
The eggs were perfectly sunny side up and I released the egg yolk by poking the fork into it to spread it across my toast. I sat down for the most important meal of the day.
The bacon was still dripping in fat, not very healthy, but there were times that I could overlook the fat content. The sausages were still sizzling and I dipped them into the egg yolk. A guilty pleasure could be found just about anywhere. A decadent delight touching my lips gave me a reason to open up my eyes in the morning.
I decided to go casual with a leather red skirt with a very small strategic slit up the side. My white blouse had blue cuffs and I had them rolled up.
The walls were adorned with several innocuous paintings to give the place a little bit of class and sophistication. The black sheets molded to my body like a second skin cradling me like a newborn.
I spent all day yesterday compiling a file on Cadence Short. I had all the ammunition to start poking holes at his psyche. I would start with his family life and get him to open up about his abandonment issues. He could argue, but I could already read the writing on the wall.
I sat on the couch in the room and thought about my life and where I saw myself in five years. I was terrified of wallowing in obscurity.
My name was synonymous with sports entertainment and it was on the lips of every young athlete. I had referrals from up and coming stars trying to juggle their responsibilities over their fame.
I drank the freshly squeezed orange juice and read the newspaper that was part of the package. I didn’t bother with current events and concentrated my time on the sports section looking for possible clients.
There was one, but he was still under the impression that it was just a slump. He equated it to some kind of ritual gone awry, but I knew differently.
There was a soft knock on my door and I padded across the room on my bare feet until I found him looking up and down the hall nervously. His eyes were darting back and forth. He quickly came in and closed the door behind him with a resounding echo of his panic.
“I came up the back way and I don’t want anybody to recognize me,” He said breathlessly with a bead of sweat along his hairline threatening to run down the bridge of his nose.
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable is fine by me.” I offered him a bottle of water.
“You can sit down or use the bed. I would like to start by getting a baseline by asking you a few simple questions which you’ll answer honestly. This will determine when you lie to me and I can call you on it before you think that you’re getting one over on me,” I took his arm and felt the muscle flexing making my mouth dry and my legs become weak at the knees.
He was wearing blue jeans with a black Henley pullover top. His chest was somewhat visible with the first button undone. He kicked off his black shoes perfectly polished to a shine. I could see my reflection looking back at me.
He could definitely overpower me and make me submit to whatever his dirty fantasies desired. I had to separate my personal feelings from my professionalism. It wasn’t easy to compartmentalize, but I had gotten good at using coping mechanisms. I was proud of my work and how I had given back to the community time and again.
He didn’t know what to do with his hands. I wasn’t surprised to find him sitting down with his hands in his lap. It would’ve been far easier for him to unload the burden inside his troubled mind by lying down.
I just had to find the trigger for his problems. I had to search for the telltale clues to ease his mind.
“I want you to take a few deep breaths and clear your mind of everything. Forget about your responsibilities and what the fans are demanding of you. I know it might seem a little unorthodox to bring you to my room, but I’ve been thinking about it all night. It’s better for you t
o be completely honest with me on my turf,” I said, touching his knee in a reassuring gesture and finding him amenable to my advances.
He breathed in and out with his chest expanding with every breath. He looked huge on the bed. He was more than 6 feet tall with bulging muscles. I had already seen his 8 pack abs which took my breath away. There was no plan to get him out of his clothes, but I didn’t mind the strength that he exuded.
His shoulders relaxed and his whole body became more comfortable in my presence. He had his eyes closed and I didn’t ask him to.
He was used to standing in the spotlight feeding on the adrenaline of the crowd.
I got up and circled him like a predator ready to attack. I placed my hands on his shoulders.
“I want you to find your happy place and go there. You can only hear my voice. Listen to every word and follow my directions to the letter. I’m going to attempt to put you in a therapeutic trance,” I said, talking to him in a soothing tone to make him more susceptible.
“I’m on this pristine white sandy beach. I feel free and I don’t have to worry about anything. My mind is too strong for you to put me under.”
If I had a dollar for every time a man said that to me.
“Think of nothing and watch the waves crashing against the shore. Each one is louder than the first and you feel your eyes getting heavier until you fall to the sand on your knees. You can still hear the sound of the rushing water. Feel yourself drifting away aimlessly on the ocean with the water lapping at your feet. Keep your eyes closed and float with all your worries disappearing before your eyes one at a time. Let your mind go blank completely unrestrained by today’s problems.” I saw his body respond slowly falling deeper underneath my spell.
His mind was malleable and there was no way for him to know it. It made my job easier to delve into his mind without restrictions. I took in my surroundings, using my eyes to steal glances at his body without him having a clue.
