Chasing Clouds

by Annabelle Knight

  “I wasn’t going to have one…” Betty began, to cries of protest, “but seeing you girls here now has made me change my mind. I should really say goodbye to everyone and what better way to do it than in the place where it all started? So what do you say, how’s Friday, seven pm for everyone?”

  All three of them nodded enthusiastically.

  “Sounds like a great idea, Mum,” Steph said. She draped her arm around Betty’s shoulders and bent down to give her a kiss.

  “Go on, be off with you. You’ll have me crying if you carry on like that. No, this is a good thing. It’s a happy time for me. Finally, I’m going to get to put my feet up and enjoy some peace and quiet,” Betty smiled warmly at her, and with Steph’s arm still wrapped around her, both mother and daughter retired upstairs.

  Elodie and Carla were very quiet as they made their way home, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. They arrived back at the flat, Elodie’s half- drunk glass of wine still on the side. She grabbed some ice out of the freezer and dropped it into the glass.

  “What?” she asked when she saw Carla giving her a reproachful glance. “Waste not, want not. Did Betty teach you nothing?”

  “Everything’s so different now, isn’t it?” Carla said with a hint of uncertainty. “Like, really different.”

  “Yeh, it is,” Elodie said, nodding her head and taking a sip of her wine and musing on Carla’s words.

  She cast her mind back to where she had been this time last year and shuddered: so many parts of her life had been wrong and yet she’d been completely unaware.

  “So do you still have no idea what you’re going to do?” Carla asked hesitantly.

  “Oh no, I know,” Elodie said with certainty. “I’m not going.”

  “You’re not?” Carla gasped. “I was so sure you’d go.”

  “Well, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Betty’s leaving do and the flight are sort of at the same time and there’s no way I could ever not send Betty off on her way,” Elodie said resolutely.

  “She wouldn’t mind, you know, if it was what you wanted.”

  Elodie knew that Carla was right: Betty would do her best to understand. Betty had given her sage advice earlier when she’d said, “Do what makes you happy, do what is right.” Elodie knew that going to Betty’s leaving do was right. Betty had been like a mother to her for so long and Elodie figured that she owed her that much at least. This was definitely a sign and one that she shouldn’t ignore. She felt as though the universe wanted her to stay, so that’s exactly what she would do – and besides, Steph was right, the world wasn’t going anywhere.

  Friday seemed to roll around in the blink of an eye. Elodie flew to Geneva and back in the space of a few hours. She really loved her job, well, aspects of it anyway. She’d had only one flight with Chase. He’d the good sense to give her a wide birth, most likely the only decent thing he had ever done in his life, although Elodie felt it probably had more to do with knowing when he was wasting his time than from any real sense of decency. He had kept their exchanges brief, professional and hadn’t even had the balls to look her in the eye. Elodie was just about to disembark the place when she noticed a black box sat neatly next to an overnight bag and a laptop case. Elodie’s breath caught in her throat. She remembered that box all too well. The sound of it thudding shut after Chase had thrown a Polaroid picture of her in there echoed in her mind. She looked around, hardly able to believe that the only thing separating her from it was a locked box. There was no sign of anyone on the plane as she had offered to do last checks. Although that didn’t explain why Chase’s bags had been left; surely he was either still hanging about or he’d be back any moment to collect them. Feeling a hot wave of nausea began to wash over her, she decided then and there that action must be taken. She knelt down, taking care to touch nothing but the box and made to open it.

  ‘Goddamn, it’s locked,’ Elodie thought angrily. Heat rose up inside her and caused her fingers to shake. She steadied herself and thought hard. ‘What would Chase’s code be?’ She didn’t know his birthday or any numbers that might be significant to him. She tried ‘one two three four’ but to no avail. She scratched her head and furrowed her brow. This was going to be hard, especially since the code could be anything, anything at all. Next, she tried all zeros, but again the padlock wouldn’t budge. She racked her brain and somewhere, in a far corner, deep inside her mind she felt she knew the answer, or at least part of it. She scrolled the first numbered wheel to six, the second to nine and the third to six again. She stared at the padlock, wondering what the last number could be. She decided that she would have to quickly try every combination on offer by trialling the last number, starting with one. The second her finger touched the last numbered wheel she knew the answer: it came at her from nowhere. ‘No, it can’t be. But of course it can, it is Chase after all,’ she thought to herself. Somewhere between amusement and disdain she dialled the fourth and final wheel to the number nine and heard a small, but certain little clunk. She rolled her eyes upon the realisation that Chase’s passcode was sixty- nine, sixty- nine. ‘What is he, fifteen?’ she asked herself.

  The lock opened and Elodie lifted the lid, her eyes wide. Inside was a black cloth, which Elodie pulled back; she gasped, underneath there were twenty, maybe even thirty or so Polaroid pictures of women in varying states of undress. Elodie paused, wondering if she should dispose of them all or if she should just search through and find her own. The box also contained the camera, a pair of silver handcuffs that Elodie recognised far too well, a blindfold, a vibrator and several condoms of different varieties.

  ‘Looks like Chase’s travel pleasure chest,’ Elodie thought grimly. She was shocked at the fact that he took it out and about with him, as though he never knew where or when he might need it. Without warning, images of Grace and Jess flooded her mind, and Elodie decided then and there that she would destroy all of the pictures: she wouldn’t look at them, she would just pick them up, cut them up or burn them and then throw them away. She collected them up one by one and shoved them all, face down into the bottom of her bag. She reached back towards the box and grabbed the lid, but before she had the chance to shut it was struck by another idea. She looked over her shoulder hastily, just to double- check the coast was clear, then picked up the camera, which up until then had lain redundant at the bottom of the box. She turned it on, turned it to face her and gave a wide, wicked grin before holding up her middle finger and clicking the button. The camera went off and a second later spat out a small sheet of Polaroid paper, still undeveloped and blank. She snatched it out of the camera and shook it a couple of times just like she’d seen it done in the movies and then threw the camera back in. She waited for just a moment, then as soon as she saw the blank photograph begin to show colour she neatly folded the cloth back over the contents and placed the picture on top, bang in the middle and obvious to see.

  She closed the lid and secured the padlock, then with one last furtive glance she heaved her overnight case from the overhead compartment, pulled out the handle and took off. She had already been cutting it fine to get home, ready and to Betty’s party, now she was going to be late. Elodie was looking forward to giving Betty a good send- off but in the back of her mind was a niggling feeling that just wouldn’t settle. Uneasiness seemed to roil inside her, as though she were on particularly choppy waters in a particularly flimsy boat.

  Mr Bosford was waiting in his usual spot, with his usual smile and usual friendly small talk. Only today, and most days, it wasn’t that small. Elodie had found herself really enjoying and often looking forward to their chats. His impartial ear was always available to bend and he seemed to appreciate her confidence and revelled in the times she sought his advice. This was one of those times; she relayed her predicament to Mr Bosworth.

  “So will she stay or will she go now?” he asked, a half- smile visible to Elodie from the rear- view mirror.

  “Well,
it’s not really a question worth asking now,” she said, “that ship has sailed, or plane has flown. The flight’s tonight and I’m not even ready to attend a party, let alone go travelling.”

  “I see,” Mr Bosford said thoughtfully. “Elodie, I’m going to give you some advice. Now whether or not you take it is entirely your choice. Life is short, really short and you are young. Don’t settle; you’ve tried that once before and look how it turned out. As for having a steady job and a regular wage, let me tell you that when you get to my age you’d trade most of that security for a few memories and some experiences. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s OK to follow your heart; you just have to remember to take your head with you too.”

  Elodie pondered his words carefully, asking herself over and over again if he was right. The problem, aside from the obvious, was that she now had too many pearls of wisdom from too many people.

  “Mr Bosford?” she said suddenly. “Could you take me straight to Betty’s Book Café?”

  The two made eye contact in the mirror and Elodie saw the corners of his eyes crease.

  “Your wish is my command,” he said before flicking on his indicator and switching lanes.

  Instead of arriving late to the party, Elodie was early. Steph and Carla were both pleased to see her, especially since an extra pair of hands would mean that they would be set up and ready to enjoy themselves sooner than expected.

  “Pour us a glass of fizz will you, El?” Carla said as she balanced precariously on a chair whilst attempting to hang up some brightly- coloured bunting.

  “Where’s Betty?” Elodie asked, fidgeting with the plum- coloured belt around her waist. She still wore her uniform, having not had enough time to change after her secret mission with the photos.

  “She’s upstairs, I’ve told her not to come down until I call her,” Steph said as she arranged cupcakes onto a three- tiered cake stand.

  “OK, well I need to talk to you guys,” Elodie began.

  “Talk and work, hun,” Carla said. “We’ve got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in. Here, blow these up, will you?” A pack of vividly coloured balloons came flying her way. She caught them and immediately set them back down.

  “Girls, I really need to talk to you,” she repeated.

  Something in her tone made both Carla and Steph stop what they were doing and turn to face her.

  “OK, you’re worrying me now,” Carla said, stepping down from the chair.

  “Me too,” Steph agreed. “Is everything OK?”

  Elodie closed her eyes and took a deep breath inwards.

  “OK, well I’ve made a decision,” Elodie began. She went on to tell them, in as much detail as possible but without wasting time, what she had decided in the car. “Once I’d made my mind up I had to come straight here and tell you guys. I know it’s crazy and last- minute but it’s right, you know? I just feel it, right in here.” She pointed to her chest, a move she felt might have been cheesy in any other situation, but in this one felt very much called- for. Carla and Steph told her that they understood and hugged her, Steph a little more loosely than Carla.

  “When will you be back?” Carla said, and Elodie was surprised to hear that her voice was strained. She pulled back from her and saw that her eyes were glassy.

  “Why? Are you going to miss me?” Elodie asked, a thin smile on her lips.

  “Nah, I’m just wondering if I need to rent out your room,” Carla said, stifling a sob. The last thing Elodie had expected from Carla were tears, she felt completely taken aback by them, and although she’d never admit it, a little touched.

  “Oh don’t cry. I’m not planning on being away forever and I’ve got enough money saved to keep my room going for a little while yet. It’ll take more than this to get rid of me.” Elodie wrapped her arms around Carla and squeezed her tight.

  “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Steph asked, unable to help herself from asking the sensible questions.

  “Nope,” Elodie said, “but that’s what makes it all so exciting.”

  “Well I guess all that’s left to do is tell my mum, then,” Steph replied.

  “That, and pack,” Carla added.

  Elodie nodded. For some reason, she felt even more trepidation about telling Betty than she had done her friends. Perhaps it was the fact that Betty had been like a mum to her for so many years, or maybe she was worried that Betty would see her investment as being squandered. Perhaps it was a combination of both, but whatever it was, it wouldn’t stop the fact that it was happening. She checked her watch and noted with grim resignation that she had very little time to spare: she needed to get home, get packed and get herself to the airport. She gave Carla and Steph a warm smile, told them she’d keep them updated before making her way through to the back of Betty’s and up the little staircase that led to the flat. She knocked on the door tentatively, somehow hoping that maybe if Betty never heard her she wouldn’t have to have this conversation. However, Betty did hear and opened the door after just a few seconds.

  “Elodie my love, come in, come in,” Betty exclaimed.

  Elodie had assumed that she would interrupt Betty getting ready for the party but was surprised to see that this wasn’t the case at all. She still wore her flour- dusted apron and messy bun that Elodie had come to know as Betty’s uniform. “I didn’t think you’d be here till much later. Do you want a cuppa?”

  Elodie shook her head as she walked into the flat Betty shared with Steph. Boxes were piled high and bore words such as ‘Bedroom’ and ‘Kitchen’ written in large, loopy letters on them. Elodie perched on top of one of them and wondered just what words she should use to start with. After a brief moment, she settled on the same words she had used downstairs. Betty turned to face her and fixed her with a stern expression; her firmness was fleeting, and as quickly as it had come, the frown had turned into a small smile.

  “I’ve made a decision…” Elodie began but couldn’t get any further because Betty had engulfed her in an almost suffocating hug.

  “I know what you’re going to say, love. Truth be told, I think I’ve known it all along. I told Steph you would go. It’s this evening. isn’t it? I take it you’ve told both the girls?” Elodie nodded, amazed at how this woman knew her even better than she knew herself.

  “But how did you know?” she found herself unable to keep from asking.

  “You get good at reading between the lines when you’re a mum. That, and you’re a terrible liar,” Betty answered with a grin.

  Elodie caught a glance at the kitchen clock. No longer hung on the wall, it now rested on the kitchen table ready to be packed.

  “I’ve got to go, I’ll miss my flight otherwise,” Elodie said. “I’ll miss you, you know.”

  “And I’ll miss you too. I guess we’ve both got our own little adventures to go on now, haven’t we? You go, have fun, and be safe,” Betty said, fixing Elodie with a fierce stare. “I meant what I said the other day: you, Elodie Taylor, are very, very precious. Now you remember, you can call me any time, day or night.”

  Elodie promised that she would and then demanded the same from Betty, who laughed and said that she didn’t think that she would be at too much risk in the Derbyshire Dales.

  “There’s just one more thing…” Elodie began

  “Oh, you pay me back when you can, love. There’s more to life than money, you know,” Betty replied, once again knowing Elodie almost better than she knew herself. Elodie gave Betty a tight squeeze and sniffed, she could feel the onset of tears and tried to abate them.

  “Now go on, you’ll miss your flight.”

  “Thank you,” Elodie said. “I mean it, thank you so much.”

  Betty gave Elodie a warm smile and shooed her out the door. Elodie blew Betty a kiss from the hallway as she made to leave, she felt that another word, no matter how jovial, might break what littl
e resolve she had left. Betty caught the kiss in an overly exaggerated manner and popped it in the front pocket of her floral apron before patting it gently. It was a sweet gesture that Elodie knew would remain in her memory for many years to come.

  Elodie said her final goodbyes to the girls. They had clearly been talking whilst she had been upstairs because not so much as a single balloon had been blown, nor bunting hung. They hugged, Carla cried and they both repeated the same mantra Betty had: “Look after yourself, stay safe and be careful.” Elodie promised to do all three and added that she’d be in touch all the time and that they’d probably not even notice she was gone. She was about to leave when an odd sensation settled over, a memory of sorts: Carla’s words, ‘If you’re ever skint, sell it.’ She had been referring to the Pierre Du Cabine dress Elodie had worn to the gala.

  “Carla, my dress. Sell it for me, would you? Don’t tell Betty just yet but use the money to pay her back, and treat yourself and Steph to something nice with the rest?” Carla promised that she would. Steph looked very happy with the idea and gave Elodie one last hug, this time squeezing her just as tightly as Carla had.

  Elodie had made an enemy out of time, so it was with one last hug and a deep breath that she walked out of Betty’s Book Café and out onto the street, hearing the little bell above the door tinkle for the last time. She quickened her pace, knowing that she really was cutting things fine. A taxi approached with its light on; she held out her hand and was thankful to see its indicator flick on. The car slowed to a halt beside her and she got in.

  “Fitzjohns Avenue,” she said as soon as her seatbelt was fastened. The driver nodded and set off, trying his best to make polite small talk but giving up when he saw that his passenger’s mind was clearly elsewhere.

  Elodie’s key turned in the lock and she darted inside, vaguely aware at the back of her mind that this would be the last time in a long while that she would come home. She had asked the taxi driver to wait for her, he had said he would and was clearly delighted at the fact that he could keep the meter running at the same time. She kicked off her heels and stepped out of her dress in record time, hoping that Carla would be good- natured enough not to begrudge her leaving it in the washing basket. She pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a white vest top before extricating her large suitcase from the back of her wardrobe and began throwing things in at random, unsure exactly what it was that those who travelled the world packed. When the suitcase was full to bursting she zipped it up and hauled it off the bed.