Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

by Jonathan Swift

  CHAPTER II.

  The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes tosee the author in his confinement. The emperor's person and habitdescribed. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. Hegains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and hissword and pistols taken from him.

  When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess Inever beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appearedlike a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generallyforty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields wereintermingled with woods of half a stang, {301} and the tallest trees, asI could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on myleft hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a theatre.

  I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of nature;which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had lastdisburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency andshame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house,which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far asthe length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of thatuneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of souncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader willgive some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered mycase, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practicewas, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the fullextent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before companycame, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-barrows,by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not have dwelt solong upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear notvery momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify mycharacter, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told, someof my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other occasions, to callin question.

  When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, havingoccasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from thetower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have costhim dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused tosuch a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before him, reared upon its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent horseman, kepthis seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while hismajesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me roundwith great admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain. Heordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give mevictuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles uponwheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and soon emptiedthem all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor; eachof the former afforded me two or three good mouthfuls; and I emptied theliquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthen vials, into onevehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with the rest. Theempress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by manyladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident thathappened to the emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person,which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth ofmy nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to strike an aweinto the beholders. His features are strong and masculine, with anAustrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenanceerect, his body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful,and his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime, beingtwenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned aboutseven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the betterconvenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face wasparallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, I have hadhim since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in thedescription. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of itbetween the Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a lighthelmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He heldhis sword drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen tobreak loose; it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard weregold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear andarticulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladiesand courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot theystood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spokeoften to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand asyllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as Iconjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves tome; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the leastsmattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hoursthe court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent theimpertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were veryimpatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them hadthe impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by thedoor of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But thecolonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought nopunishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which someof his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-endsof their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put fiveof them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made a countenance asif I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and thecolonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they saw metake out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for, lookingmildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was bound with, I set himgently on the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in the samemanner, taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both thesoldiers and people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency,which was represented very much to my advantage at court.

  Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay onthe ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which time,the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred bedsof the common measure were brought in carriages, and worked up in myhouse; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn together, made up thebreadth and length; and these were four double: which, however, kept mebut very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that was of smoothstone. By the same computation, they provided me with sheets, blankets,and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured tohardships.

  As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it broughtprodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so thatthe villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage andhousehold affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had notprovided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against thisinconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me shouldreturn home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state gotconsiderable fees.

  In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate whatcourse should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by aparticular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in thesecret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning me.They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very expensive,and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me; or atleast to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which wouldsoon despatch me; but again they considered, that the stench of so largea carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably spreadthrough the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consultations, severalofficers of the army went to the door of the great council-chamber, andtwo of them being admitted, gave an account of my behaviour to the sixcriminals above-mentioned; which made so favourable an impression in thebreast of his majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperialcommission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine hundred yardsround the city
, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, andother victuals for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantityof bread, and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, hismajesty gave assignments upon his treasury:--for this prince liveschiefly upon his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions,raising any subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him inhis wars at their own expense. An establishment was also made of sixhundred persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for theirmaintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side ofmy door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should makeme a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six of hismajesty's greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in theirlanguage; and lastly, that the emperor's horses, and those of thenobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in mysight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put inexecution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learningtheir language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me withhis visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. Webegan already to converse together in some sort; and the first words Ilearnt, were to express my desire "that he would please give me myliberty;" which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I couldcomprehend it, was, "that this must be a work of time, not to be thoughton without the advice of his council, and that first I must _lumos kelminpesso desmar lon emposo_;" that is, swear a peace with him and hiskingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness. And headvised me to "acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour, the goodopinion of himself and his subjects." He desired "I would not take itill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me; forprobably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs bedangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a person."I said, "His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to stripmyself, and turn up my pockets before him." This I delivered part inwords, and part in signs. He replied, "that, by the laws of the kingdom,I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this could not bedone without my consent and assistance; and he had so good an opinion ofmy generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands; thatwhatever they took from me, should be returned when I left the country,or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them." I took up the twoofficers in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and then intoevery other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secretpocket, which I had no mind should be searched, wherein I had some littlenecessaries that were of no consequence to any but myself. In one of myfobs there was a silver watch, and in the other a small quantity of goldin a purse. These gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them,made an exact inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done,desired I would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor.This inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word forword, as follows:

  "_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain" (for so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_,) "after the strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty's court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover" (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which they meant my breeches,) "we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be real gold, must be of immense value.

  "Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands, diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.

  "This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majesty's auspicious reign.

  CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK."

  When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. Hefirst called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In themean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who thenattended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrowsjust ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes werewholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my scimitar,which, altho
ugh it had got some rust by the sea water, was, in mostparts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave ashout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and thereflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in myhand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less dauntedthan I could expect: he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, andcast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the endof my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow ironpillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at hisdesire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and chargingit only with powder, which, by the closeness of my pouch, happened toescape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against which all prudentmariners take special care to provide,) I first cautioned the emperor notto be afraid, and then I let it off in the air. The astonishment herewas much greater than at the sight of my scimitar. Hundreds fell down asif they had been struck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood hisground, could not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both mypistols in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouchof powder and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept fromfire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up hisimperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, whichthe emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallestyeomen of the guards to bear it on a pole upon their shoulders, asdraymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continualnoise it made, and the motion of the minute-hand, which he could easilydiscern; for their sight is much more acute than ours: he asked theopinions of his learned men about it, which were various and remote, asthe reader may well imagine without my repeating; although indeed I couldnot very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my silver and coppermoney, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones;my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief andjournal-book. My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed incarriages to his majesty's stores; but the rest of my goods were returnedme.

  I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped theirsearch, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use forthe weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other littleconveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I did notthink myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended they might belost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.