Best Friend’s Daddy: Once Upon A Daddy

by Callahan, Kelli

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

  The stinging got worse, and I felt my mind going to a place that I rarely visited. My thoughts began to tap into memories that I had forcibly regressed in order to maintain my sanity. I really did feel like a naughty girl being punished—the reason didn’t matter. The spankings he had given me were laced with sexual desire, but the ruler didn’t bring enough pleasure for dirty thoughts to overwhelm the pain. I began to realize that there was another layer to my need—a part of my mind that could separate pleasure from pain and experience them on different levels. It was cerebral and beautiful—yet terrifying at the same time.

  SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

  “Do ye feel like ye can behave now?” Declan rubbed the surface of my ass with his hand.

  “I—I don’t know.” I lifted my ass—practically begging for him to keep punishing me.

  “Then ye must not have learned yer lesson yet.” He pulled his hand away.

  SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

  “Oh god!” I felt my whole body jerk as the ruler came down harder and faster than before.

  SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

  “Hold still, lass. Yer gonna get what’s coming to ye.” He grabbed my arm and held me firmly in position.

  SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

  It had been a long time since I cried. I swore that I had shed my last tear after my parents disowned me and I realized I was truly alone. That wasn’t the case anymore. I had Declan—a man who could be my lover and my Daddy. It was safe to cry again. The ruler stirred so many emotions as the pain tore at my soul, and I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. I didn’t fight them. I just let them roll down my cheeks, and I started to sob. The punishment stopped immediately. Declan threw the ruler on the floor and pulled me into his arms. He put a hand behind my head and held me tight against his shoulder.

  “Madie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to actually hurt ye.” His voice trembled.

  “This isn’t because of what you did.” I shook my head back and forth. “You didn’t hurt me—not physically.”

  My ass was burning, but that was nothing more than an outlet which allowed me to tap into pent up emotions. I thought I was being strong when I refused to cry—but bottling it up wasn’t the answer. I needed to be able to turn the valve and let them out. I just forgot how to do that without sinking into despair. The pain had released them in a way that pulled the weight from my soul. Every tear that soaked Declan’s shirt was a piece of my past that I let go of. I didn’t need the people that abandoned me—but I had never truly stopped reaching for them. I carried the hurt in my heart—and it was already full after what happened at school. But it went deeper than that—further back than the mistake that ruined my life.

  “Let’s talk about it.” Declan rubbed the back of my head and spoke softly into my ear.

  “Yeah.” I nodded and leaned back from his shoulder. “I think it’s time for that.”

  I started rambling—and once the words started coming out, I didn’t know how to turn off the emotional faucet. There was no great revelation—no single origin point for the hurt. It was a culmination of events that stacked on top of each other until everything fell apart inside me. I was able to pinpoint the first one—the first one I could recall at least. I was at church on Sunday morning. I didn’t want to be there. I was fidgeting and trying to find something to entertain myself while the preacher delivered his message with passionate fury.

  My mother grabbed my arm. She squeezed it so hard that I cried out—then she told me that if I didn’t quit fidgeting, I was going to burn in hell for disrespecting God. That message was normally enough to scare adults—and it terrified me as a child. It was the first time I realized that parents didn’t rule our household—we were ruled by a mysterious presence that meant more to them than anything else—and the threat of his wrath was always present.

  “Damn…” Declan shook his head back and forth. “I thought religion was supposed to be about love and doing the right thing—that sounds awful.”

  “There wasn’t much kindness in my household. The repercussions were the only thing that seemed to matter—and they were threats of things to come.” I sighed. “My soul was doomed to burn in the Devil’s so-called Lake of Fire if I left the cap off the toothbrush—it didn’t matter what I did wrong—the result was eternal damnation.”

  “I think yer parents may have been misinterpreting the message.” Declan pulled me close for another hug. “I’m sorry ye had to go through that.”

  Declan held me for a while, and then he took me upstairs. He didn’t try to initiate anything once we were in bed. I was thankful for that because I didn’t have the same fire I normally had when I was with him. I stayed in his arms and he tried to reassure me. I believed what he said—things were definitely different with him. Thinking about the past hurt, but I felt safe when he held me. I could walk through all of my repressed memories and see them for what they were—delusions of two people that believed in the message they spewed so much that they were willing to abandon their daughter when she needed them most.

  “Are ye feeling better?” Declan ran his fingers through my hair. “Everything is going to be okay. All of the shit ye went through? That’s in the past—the present is right here.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “I am feeling a little better.”

  “Good. Do ye feel like yer going to be able to sleep?” He pulled me closer.

  “I think so.” I nodded and closed my eyes.

  I probably would have laid awake and stared at the ceiling if I wasn’t in his arms. The turmoil inside of me started to fade once my eyes were closed. I finally knew how to let go of it all. If my parents couldn’t be there for me when I needed them, then I could pave a new path for me that didn’t include them. That path was already cleared—I just had to walk it. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, because the guiding light would always be in front of me. Declan was the calm in the middle of a hurricane.

  My parents were driven by something they didn’t fully understand—but I can’t hold onto that hurt anymore.

  * * *

  The next morning

  I woke up in Declan’s arms. The emotional turmoil from the previous night felt like a dream—or maybe it was a nightmare. I no longer had the connection to that feeling that dominated my life for so long. It had been put back in the past where it belonged. I was ready to move forward. I didn’t need anything except for the man that was holding me. I didn’t harbor any sort of hatred towards the two people who called me daughter. They had their reasons—but those reasons didn’t resonate with me. I was better than that. The pain became a conduit for the emotional release I needed in order to move on.

  “Good morning.” Declan opened his eyes slowly. “Yer awake before me? Did I oversleep?”

  “No.” I leaned against him. “I just had a lot on my mind.”

  “Aye, I understand.” He sighed. “I guess we might have to put the ruler away—I don’t think ye need that kind of punishment.”

  “No.” I sighed. “I think I found my limit. It was necessary for me to get there, but I don’t think I want to test that boundary again.”

  “Maybe we forget about that for a little while—we just try to be two people who care about each other.” He pressed his lips to my forehead.

  “I like the sound of that.” I nodded. “I thought I needed a Daddy, but I really just needed you. I see that now.”

  “I’ll go make breakfast. Why don’t ye stay here? I’ll bring it up once I get done.” Declan sat up and smiled.

  “Breakfast in bed?” I raised my eyebrows and stretched out my arms. “I could get used to that.”

  “Nothing is too good for ye—I’ll bring it to ye every morning if it makes ye smile.” He slid to the edge of the bed and stood.

  Declan went downstairs to make breakfast. I stayed in bed and pulle
d the covers around me. I felt like I was seeing the world through a new set of eyes. I didn’t want to close them. I was afraid that it was nothing but an illusion of grandeur—but it felt too real for that. It was my new reality—my first glimpse of real clarity. Declan returned a short while later with a tray of food and we ate breakfast together in bed. It felt perfect.

  “I guess we should get up and work on the house.” I sighed and put my coffee cup down.

  “Not today.” Declan shook his head back and forth. “Today, we’re just going to spend some time together.”

  “Are you sure?” I blinked in surprise. “I don’t want to keep you from it…”

  “That’s the good thing about being able to set yer own schedule—I only have to work when I want to.” He smiled. “Since I’m yer boss, I get to set yer schedule as well.”

  “Alright—if you’re sure.” I reached out and took his hand. “So, what are we going to do today?”

  “I’ve got a few ideas.” Declan gave me a quick wink. “If yer up for it.”

  “I am.” I bit down on my bottom lip and grinned. “If you are…”

  “Aye.” He picked up the tray and moved it to the table by the bed.

  I could get used to this…

  * * *

  Two weeks later

  “I don’t want to leave.” I rolled over and looked into Declan’s eyes.

  “I know. I don’t want ye to leave either, but it will be easier to tell Anna the truth if yer not here when she arrives.” Declan pressed his lips to my forehead.

  “I’m just scared.” I started to trace his chest with the tips of my fingers. “She’s your daughter—if she doesn’t approve of our relationship, then I don’t want you to have to choose between us.”

  “I’m not going to choose between the two of ye. Yer both important to me. I don’t expect her to approve, but that’s not the reason I’m telling her. I value honesty over everything else—ye know that.” He took my hand and sighed.

  “I do.” I nodded. “I just wish it was less complicated.”

  “It won’t be complicated. What we have is real—that’s all that matters.” He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

  I spent a couple of hours with Declan before I finally decided that it was time to go shower. I had been staying with him long enough that there were a lot of my things out in the open. I took some time to gather all of that up—including my toothbrush and bathroom necessities. Once Anna knew the truth, it wouldn’t be necessary to hide anything, but I wanted to give him a chance to tell her before she accidentally stumbled on something that raised suspicion. I really did hope that the conversation went well, but I couldn’t escape the fear that turned my stomach into a knot.

  “It’s just for a couple of days.” Declan put his arms around my waist once it was time for me to leave.

  “I know.” I looked up at him and nodded. “We can make it that long…”

  “Aye, we can.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

  We said our goodbyes, and I walked outside to my car. It would be a few hours before Anna arrived, but I wanted to make sure there was no chance that we passed each other on the road if she was able to leave school a little earlier than she planned. Things had been going so well with Declan that there was no reason for me to be scared—I believed in him—I believed in what we had. The last two weeks had been incredible. We were two people falling in love, and I didn’t want it to come to an abrupt end. I had finally found my footing—faced things in my past that I never thought I would have the strength to overcome—and the relationship dynamic had shifted to the two of us. I was still a girl that needed a Daddy sometimes, but what I needed most of all was Declan—the wonderful man that felt like the missing piece in my life.

  I can’t wait to be in his arms again.

  13

  Declan

  Anna was supposed to arrive at noon, and I kept watching the clock like staring at it with an intense glare could make time move faster. My stomach was in a knot. I was nervous about Anna’s arrival but telling her the truth was necessary. I would have liked to have had Madie there with me when I broke the news about our relationship. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure it would be as easy for Anna to come to terms with it if we were both there when she arrived. If she reacted badly, then it would be better for her to lash out at me instead of her best friend. I thought I could explain it in a way that would help her understand how I became involved with Madie.

  I knew how it would look on the surface. An older man—a much younger woman. I would be suspicious and concerned if Anna brought a man home that was my age. My love for her was unconditional, and if she was happy, I wouldn’t judge her—I just hoped that same level of rational thinking had been instilled in my daughter somewhere along the way.

  Two hours until she gets here… I guess I should shower.

  I made a quick trip outside for a smoke before I headed upstairs. I definitely planned to quit—but I needed to find a way to calm my nerves. It didn’t help. The knot in my stomach was too tight for nicotine to unravel it. I took longer than normal in the shower, just standing in the warm water while my mind went crazy. I was playing every scenario out—from Anna immediately understanding and hugging me, to a freak-out that resulted in her never wanting to see me again. I truly believed the reality would be somewhere in the middle. I didn’t think it would be easy, but I would be able to handle anything that she threw at me—even if she started physically throwing things—although I didn’t think my daughter would actually resort to violence. I finished my shower, got dressed, and went downstairs to wait—time still moved as slow as ever, but eventually I heard the sound of Anna’s car outside.

  She’s on time. Thank goodness.

  “Hi Dad!” Anna waved at me as soon as I opened the door.

  “Welcome home.” I smiled and walked down the steps to help with her bags. “Well, my version of yer home.”

  “If you’re here, it’s my home.” She gave me a warm embrace.

  “Aye, it is.” I nodded and held her for several seconds before she started to lean back. “Let’s get yer stuff inside.”

  Anna started talking about school as soon as we got inside. That was perfectly fine—I did want to hear about the stuff she hadn’t told me on the phone, and it delayed the inevitable. My daughter was the type that could carry a conversation all on her own without letting anyone get a word in edgewise—she definitely got that from her mother, but I appreciated it—for once. My stomach twisted into a tighter knot as time passed. I didn’t want her to bring up Madie first, and I wasn’t sure if she would at some point. I just had to find the right break in the conversion so I could shift the subject and deliver the news. After that, we could both deal with the fallout. I finally found my opportunity when she took a quick bathroom break and went to the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge.

  “So, I ran into yer friend the other day—Madie.” I looked over at Anna with my heart beating hard in my chest once I said the name of the woman I had fallen for.

  “Madie?” Anna paused in her tracks for a moment and raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t talked to her much lately…”

  “Aye, she mentioned that.” I nodded. “I thought the two of ye would always be close.”

  No, don’t talk about their friendship—stay on course.

  “I did too.” Anna sighed and sat down on the couch. “But, after what happened to her at school—I guess she just didn’t want to talk to me about it.”

  “She did mention something about that too.” I needed to dive into the real reason I brought Madie up, but I was dancing around it and trying to find the right moment.

  “Did she tell you what happened—what really happened?” Anna turned towards me. “She wouldn’t even talk about it with me. I found out through one of our mutual friends that saw—well…”

  “The pictures?” I tilted my head slightly. “Yeah, she mentioned some pictures.”

  I need to stop saying she mentioned these
things—she has told me everything. I’m making it sound like a casual meeting when it was a whole lot more.

  “I can’t believe she sent her professor dirty pictures to try and get a better grade.” Anna exhaled sharply. “She was always so good in school—I didn’t think she would have to resort to something like that.”

  “Wait? What?” My heart stopped beating hard and sank straight into my stomach.

  That’s not what Madie told me…

  “Yeah, I was surprised too.” Anna took a sip of her soda and nodded. “But, Madie doesn’t want to talk about it—I guess I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.”

  “Hold on.” I held up my hand. “Take a step back. Are ye sure she sent pictures to her professor?”

  “Oh yeah.” Anna’s eyes opened wide. “They were—very graphic. She tagged them with stuff like I want you Daddy and Are you going to punish me for being such a naughty student—the professor lost his job over it.”

  “Holy shit…” I blinked in surprise. “But wait, Madie said the pictures got out—she said other students saw them.”

  “They definitely did.” Anna sighed. “Apparently one of his assistants found the pictures on his tablet, recognized Madie, and sent them to several of his friends—and those friends shared them with others. You know how it is with social media these days.”

  “Aye…” My words trailed off, and I had to close my eyes just to hide the rage that was starting to build.

  Madie lied to me. I told her how I felt about honesty, and she just—flat out lied.

  Bringing up my relationship with Madie was impossible after what Anna told me. I wasn’t even sure what the status was myself after I heard the truth—or what Anna believed was the truth. I needed to talk to Madie, but it wasn’t a conversation to have over the phone. I needed to look into her eyes and see her reaction when I asked for the truth. I also couldn’t ignore the fact that the pictures she sent her professor referred to him as Daddy and asked about punishment. Was I just standing in a role that she had already designed? A role that someone else held before me? I thought our relationship became what it was naturally—but it didn’t seem like that was the case. She was still a virgin when I took her to bed the first time—I couldn’t help but wonder if it was only because things got out of hand with the other guy, she called Daddy before they made it that far.